#113 - Relationship Secrets with Lisa McFarland

The Jay Alderton Podcast

In this insightful episode, I sit down with Lisa McFarlane, one of the UK and Ireland's top relationship coaches, to discuss the significance of personal transformation in the context of relationships.

They talk deeply about the concept of being a whole person in a relationship, the breakdown and breakthrough cycle, and the need for common sense in navigating relationships.

Key Insights:

1. Becoming a Whole Person: Lisa shares her journey into relationship coaching and emphasises the importance of being a whole person. She discusses the need for individuals to work on themselves before entering or improving their relationships.
2. Breakdown and Breakthrough Cycle: We explore the concept of the breakdown and breakthrough cycle, where conflicts or challenges in a relationship can lead to growth and transformation if approached with the right mindset.
3. Common Sense in Relationships: Lisa stresses the importance of applying common sense principles in relationships, such as effective communication, understanding each other's needs, and resolving conflicts healthily.
4. Codependency and Self-Care: The discussion touches on the dynamics of codependency and the importance of filling one's own cup before being able to show up in a relationship fully.
5. Communication and Conflict Resolution: Lisa and Jay address the challenges of compartmentalisation and the need for emotional connection and understanding in relationships. They emphasise the significance of communication, sulking, and healthy conflict resolution.
6. Advice for Dating Later in Life: Lisa provides valuable advice for individuals re-entering the dating scene later in life, highlighting the importance of self-love and finding a partner who has also done the work on themselves.

Chapters

00:00 The Journey into Relationship Coaching and Personal Transformation

03:38 Being a Whole Person in a Relationship

10:38 Understanding Codependency and Filling Your Own Cup

22:26 Navigating Conflict and Avoiding Sulking

27:41 Striving for Healthy Conflict Resolution and Emotional Connection

29:35 Love Languages and Self-Affirmation

34:48 Sweating the Small Stuff and Prioritizing the Little Things

41:03 Love, Trust, and Giving Someone the Power to Destroy You

44:05 Investing Time and Quality in Your Relationship

48:20 Daily Signals of Love and Care

52:25 Dating Advice for Individuals Re-entering the Dating Scene

57:29 Conclusion