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Fear of Abandonment: The Child in You is Still Waiting (Audio Essay)

41:18
 
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Manage episode 419009956 series 2780099
Вміст надано Imi Lo. Весь вміст подкастів, включаючи епізоди, графіку та описи подкастів, завантажується та надається безпосередньо компанією Imi Lo або його партнером по платформі подкастів. Якщо ви вважаєте, що хтось використовує ваш захищений авторським правом твір без вашого дозволу, ви можете виконати процедуру, описану тут https://uk.player.fm/legal.

Full article: https://eggshelltherapy.com/fear-of-abandonment-object-constancy-and-bpd/
An excerpt: The Slot Machine of Love: Inconsistent Parenting and the Fear of Abandonment

If you are struggling with a fear of abandonment and issues with object constancy, you were likely raised by an emotionally unstable or inconsistent primary caregiver.

This kind of upbringing can be both perplexing and traumatizing. Your parent may show empathy, but only fleetingly and inconsistently. They have a hot-and-cold, on-and-off emotional pattern. Instead of receiving the steady, nurturing love and care that every child deserves, you were subjected to a confusing and erratic pattern of attention.

At moments, they might shower you with warmth and affection, yet at the slightest hint of stress or a trigger, they flip into an entirely different person—often childish, unreasonable, aggressive, or even violent.

This Jekyll and Hyde behavior thrusts you into a perpetual state of hypervigilance and fear, uncertain as to which version of your parent will appear next.

Will it be the caring figure, the harsh critic, or perhaps the unpredictable drunk? What might you have done wrong to trigger them? How can you get your ‘good parent’ back?

Perhaps, each time you hear the doorknob turn, you get washed over by waves of anxiety. What awaits on the other side? Is it a threat of violence or an offer of a comforting hug? The uncertainty is constant; you simply never know. Their own trauma and unresolved attachment issues mean they often don't have a handle on what triggers their emotional meltdowns, which means they cannot fix it, even if they want to.

Indeed, your parent might have been a victim of inconsistent parenting or childhood trauma. But right now, we're not justifying their behavior; we are focusing on you and your pain—as few have done before.

Dan Bain's Sleepy Time Mumbles
Are podcasts TOO interesting? Need a podcast you CAN miss? Every episode Dan Bain...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/imi_lo_/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers
Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

  continue reading

Розділи

1. Fear of Abandonment: The Child in You is Still Waiting (Audio Essay) (00:00:00)

2. [Ad] Dan Bain's Sleepy Time Mumbles (00:10:19)

3. (Cont.) Fear of Abandonment: The Child in You is Still Waiting (Audio Essay) (00:10:59)

71 епізодів

Artwork
iconПоширити
 
Manage episode 419009956 series 2780099
Вміст надано Imi Lo. Весь вміст подкастів, включаючи епізоди, графіку та описи подкастів, завантажується та надається безпосередньо компанією Imi Lo або його партнером по платформі подкастів. Якщо ви вважаєте, що хтось використовує ваш захищений авторським правом твір без вашого дозволу, ви можете виконати процедуру, описану тут https://uk.player.fm/legal.

Full article: https://eggshelltherapy.com/fear-of-abandonment-object-constancy-and-bpd/
An excerpt: The Slot Machine of Love: Inconsistent Parenting and the Fear of Abandonment

If you are struggling with a fear of abandonment and issues with object constancy, you were likely raised by an emotionally unstable or inconsistent primary caregiver.

This kind of upbringing can be both perplexing and traumatizing. Your parent may show empathy, but only fleetingly and inconsistently. They have a hot-and-cold, on-and-off emotional pattern. Instead of receiving the steady, nurturing love and care that every child deserves, you were subjected to a confusing and erratic pattern of attention.

At moments, they might shower you with warmth and affection, yet at the slightest hint of stress or a trigger, they flip into an entirely different person—often childish, unreasonable, aggressive, or even violent.

This Jekyll and Hyde behavior thrusts you into a perpetual state of hypervigilance and fear, uncertain as to which version of your parent will appear next.

Will it be the caring figure, the harsh critic, or perhaps the unpredictable drunk? What might you have done wrong to trigger them? How can you get your ‘good parent’ back?

Perhaps, each time you hear the doorknob turn, you get washed over by waves of anxiety. What awaits on the other side? Is it a threat of violence or an offer of a comforting hug? The uncertainty is constant; you simply never know. Their own trauma and unresolved attachment issues mean they often don't have a handle on what triggers their emotional meltdowns, which means they cannot fix it, even if they want to.

Indeed, your parent might have been a victim of inconsistent parenting or childhood trauma. But right now, we're not justifying their behavior; we are focusing on you and your pain—as few have done before.

Dan Bain's Sleepy Time Mumbles
Are podcasts TOO interesting? Need a podcast you CAN miss? Every episode Dan Bain...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/imi_lo_/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers
Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

  continue reading

Розділи

1. Fear of Abandonment: The Child in You is Still Waiting (Audio Essay) (00:00:00)

2. [Ad] Dan Bain's Sleepy Time Mumbles (00:10:19)

3. (Cont.) Fear of Abandonment: The Child in You is Still Waiting (Audio Essay) (00:10:59)

71 епізодів

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