When Did Your Relationship with Food Begin? (Hint: it may have started with your grandmother)

The Emotional Eating (and Everything Else) Podcast

We've talked before about how your relationship with food starts on day one. And I used to think of "day one" as being in utero, or even infancy. But I was wrong about that. Your relationship with food has the possibility of starting three generations ago. Like with your grandmother.

Let me explain.

I've been reading the book "It Didn't Start with You," by Mark Wolynn, which you may have read. The book talks about inherited family trauma and how we now know that trauma is passed down through our DNA. There's no way that I can possibly understand how all of that works, but it got me thinking about food. If trauma is passed down, that includes food trauma. And there's not a person on this planet who has an ancestral line that hasn't experienced some type of food trauma, i.e. food scarcity. Which means that you may be carrying some of the trauma of your ancestor's food trauma.

That part isn't actually news--us IFS folks talk about legacy burdens all the time. And we absolutely get handed beliefs and messages about food and bodies from our families. But since food is a basic need that's absolutely necessary for survival, your ancestor's experience with it could very well have gotten passed on to you.

In the book, Mr. Wolynn explains how all of us have been in potential since our grandmother was pregnant with our mothers, since your mother's eggs were being created during your grandmother's pregnancy. So your grandmother's experience with food could have had an impact on you. If she was experiencing scarcity and wasn't able to eat in a nourishing way, that impacted you. And of course your mother. And how your mother's experience with food most definitely had an impact on you as well.

On this week's podcast, we're talking all about how far back this goes, and how it may be influencing your relationship with food now. And we're also talking about how your caregiver's response to your food needs has very likely shaped your relationship with food. For example, if your hunger needs weren't attended to, you may have disconnected from your hunger cues very early on. You may still have difficulty noticing hunger and fullness cues because you had to suppress them for so long.

I find all of this fascinating, and illuminating, and I hope that you do too. Take a listen!

Where to find me:

Therapy website: drkimdaniels.com

Coaching website: yourweightisnotyourworth.com

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