How to Handle Diet Talk and Body Shaming Comments During Holiday Gatherings

The Emotional Eating (and Everything Else) Podcast

Since we're so close to Christmas, many of us are coming up on holiday gatherings, if you haven't been to some already. I hope that if you’re joining friends and family this coming weekend that you’re looking forward to it and that it will be a really positive experience for you!

But if you’re approaching these gatherings with anxiety and trepidation because you know that there will be difficult comments about dieting, or about your weight or what you're choosing to eat, know that you’re not alone. Sadly, as you well know, these comments are made all the time.

When I was thinking about this topic, I realized that there are three different ways of handling these types of comments. And they fall into the three different categories of trauma responses:

1. Fight
2. Flight
3. Freeze

One option is to fight. This may mean opening a conversation a about the changes you're making in your relationship with food and your body, or the fact that you're working on exiting diet culture. This may also mean very directly stating that you're not willing to engage in this conversation. How you use this approach depends on your comfort level and how open the other person is to hearing about your journey.

The second option is flight. This could look like:

• Change the subject. Just ignore the comment and change the subject. It may be helpful to have a list of topics ready to go so you can easily think of something to say.
• Deflecting the comment with a question or compliment. For example, if someone asks if you should be eating something, you could deflect the comment by responding with, "Do you know who made this? It looks delicious." Or if someone comments on your body size, you can compliment their hair.
• Walk away. Make an excuse and high-tale it out of there. "Can you excuse me? My sister is waving me down." Or "I think I just heard my phone." Whatever comes to mind (although it may be helpful to plan ahead for this too).

And finally, the third option is to freeze. This basically means to let comments be made without responding to them at all. This option may feel like you're not advocating for yourself, but you are. As so many of us know, sometimes it just isn't safe to respond in any way to these comments. Sometimes, any response just makes it worse. The important thing to remember is that you get to decide how you handle these situations. You know who’s safe to have these discussions with and who’s going to make it worse for you.

In this episode, we discuss these options in more detail. We also talk about how to treat yourself with kindness once you're out of the situation.

Where to find me: https://www.yourweightisnotyourworth.com/

Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2660578360926813

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimdanielspsyd/