152. Not Coming Out... But Going To with Kevin O’Connor

FINE is a 4-Letter Word

As a Gen-Xer, I remember when the prevalent view about being gay was that it was something you’d be afraid for people to find out about. It’s also been our generation that started to change that.

We’ve come a long way in the past couple decades, but it can still be a frightening prospect if your family and community are predominantly heteronormative.

With the stigma surrounding homosexuality that prevailed in the last century, can you blame someone for being afraid to come out, even if everyone they privately confided in has been completely understanding and supportive?

This is Kevin O’Connor’s story.

Kevin was raised in the 1950s and 1960s in the middle of the Midwest – Elgin Illinois to be exact – as part of a family that founded the first funeral home in that town in 1930 and continued to operate it up until 1984. He, his parents, and his older brother lived in one part of the house; his uncle, aunt, and three older girl cousins lived in another part of the house; the funeral parlor was on the ground floor. He uses the word “inclusive” to summarize his family and social environment growing up.

While he was welcome to make a career in the family business, nobody insisted; his family supported him when he went to college for education and became a teacher. In his early 20s, he got married. This was a great start, and everything seemed fine.

But Fine is a 4-Letter Word – and in 1971, being gay was not considered “fine”.

In a moment, when you meet Kevin, you will discover his extraordinary journey of coming out to his first wife, his second wife, his father, and his sons. And then what inspired him to come out publicly at 55 years old and the impact it had on all his relationships, including and especially the one with himself.

This is a story about inclusivity, acceptance, self-discovery, and navigating the waters of society you cannot miss – tune in now and you may find yourself seeing a new point of view.

Kevin’s hype song is "You Are the Sunshine of My Life" by Stevie Wonder.

Resources:

• Kevin O’Connor’s website: https://www.kevinoconnorauthor.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kmoconnor/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.oconnor2
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegriefnavigator/

Also check out our episode, Unleash Your Joy with Carol Banens which includes a theme related to something Kevin and I discussed.

Invitation from Lori:

In my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for “fine” and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in today’s high-speed world, you’re not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.

You know how you normally hear the disclaimer “Don’t try this at home!” In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just “try,” DO.

Once you read it, you’ll

✅ Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.

✅ Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.

✅ Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.

It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through. When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, this guide is the place to start and it will give you new perspectives that could change your life starting today!

Go to https://zenrabbit.com right now to download it for free.

Now, let’s meet Kevin. I can just tell this one’s going to be an eye-opener, so buckle up!