How To Deal With Failure When You Suck

Terry Carter

In this 4K motivational video I'll discuss how I dealt with a performance where I sucked and learned to be better.

Part of any kind of success is also going through some low points or failures. Today instead of telling you something I did well at or excelled at, I’m going to discuss something that I failed at.

This is a story that is hard to discuss because we want to believe that we always perform at high levels and that we are essentially “perfect.”

I got a call from a good buddy and wanted to know if I wanted to teach a summer guitar class and perform for the faculty concert at what was then called L.A.M.A. (the Los Angeles Music Academy).

I said yes since I would do anything for this friend but also because I was going to teach a class at the school in the Fall and thought it would be a good way to get to know the other faculty and staff.

Shortly after agreeing to do the gig, my grandpa passed away suddenly. This was extremely difficult because I wasn’t prepared and I was really close to my grandpa. He had helped raise me and helped me become the man that I am today. Plus, this was the first time that I had someone close to me die.

Within’ a few days of my grandpa’s passing, my wife and I had our yearly trip to England to visit her grandma.

We were going to be in England for 2 weeks and then the concert was literally the day after we got back to Los Angeles.

I had my guitar and the setlist for the hour show, but honestly it was extremely difficult to concentrate on anything except just coping with the loss.

Although there was only about 8 songs, I didn’t devote very much time to preparing for the concert.

When we returned to Los Angeles the summer school started the next day and the concert was the very first day of school.

As I walked into the performance hall I didn’t know any of the musicians and besides a sound check there was no rehearsal for the show.

The room was filed with students, faculty, and recording equipment. We played the show and I sucked. I played horribly. I wasn’t prepared properly, I missed intros, and I wasn’t in the right state of mind.

I didn’t feel great after the concert but I got a call from buddy who hired me for the gig and he said that the school no longer wanted me to teach there the next semester. I actually played so bad that I got fired.

I felt bad for a few reasons. First, I let my buddy down, he trusted me with this gig and put his name on the line and I didn’t come through. Second, playing bad in front of your colleagues and students is hard to deal with.

I remember thinking to myself, would I ever get hired from my buddy again? Would he ever trust me or my talents again?

What I realized is that you always have to push through these situations. You either have to find a positive or learn something that you can take away from the experience.

Now that I look back at the situation, yes it is still a little painful, but I ask myself why did I take the gig?

I knew that I was going to be out of town on vacation up until the gig which would leave me little time to prepare like I wanted to. Plus, after my grandpa passed, I should have gotten someone else to do it, knowing that I wouldn’t be in the right state of mind to play a show.

If your not prepared or don’t have the time to prepare to get something to the level that you want it to be, then don’t do it.

You never want to embarrass yourself or let other people down.

The good news was that I have worked with my buddy many times after this event and he did trust me as we played and worked with some fairly popular artists such as Josh Groban, Weezer, and Robby Krieger from The Doors.

I have also learned that whenever I agree to work on a project I will always put in my best effort and make sure I have the time to achieve at a high level.

Realize that you are going to have a lot of successes in your career but you are also going to have a lot of failures as well. You have to learn how to deal with and learn from your failures the best that you can.

“If your striving for excellence their is no such thing as over preparation” - Col. Chris Hadfield

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Terry Carter