Can They Even Understand? - Preschoolers & Grief

Grief Out Loud

When Sat Kaur Khalsa, MSW, was three, her older brother died in a drowning accident. After his death, he continued to disappear - his photos were taken down and no one talked about him. As she grew up, she learned the implicit lesson to be a good kid because her parents were already dealing with enough. She also learned that grief wasn't something you talked about or shared with others. Now, as an adult, she's working to make sure kids her age get to have a different experience. Sat Kaur is the Family Services Coordinator at Dougy Center where she supports children of all ages and their families after a death. In that role she has a special love for working the youngest kids - those who are 3-5 years old - and helping them have the chance to do what she didn't: talk about their people, express their emotions, and be with others who get what they are going through.

We discuss:

• Sat Kaur's role at Dougy Center & personal connection to the work
• What she remembers about being three when her older brother died
• How his death changed her family and their dynamic
• Learning the implicit lesson to be a good kid to not make things harder for her parents
• Her commitment to being more open about grief with her own child
• Why she loves working with preschoolers who are grieving
• How preschoolers grieve similarly and differently to older kids and teens
• Suggestions for age appropriate ways to talk about grief and loss
• What adults can do to support preschoolers who are grieving a death

Be sure to check out our Youngest Grievers Toolkit for books, Tip Sheets, activities, and more.