Larchmont Friends Of the Family Joins Jen Graziano on Time To Talk

Time to Talk with Jen Graziano

(377) Larchmont Friends Of the Family Joins Jen Graziano on Time To Talk - YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTGh20r696A
Transcript:
(00:00) but with host Jennifer Graziano of Zion Memorial Chapel and Cox and Graziano funeral homes Jennifer is here to discuss a sensitive subject we all need to talk and think about here now is Jennifer Graziano and time to talk good morning Westchester it's 9 A.M on Monday and that means it's time to talk with me Jen Graziano I am a licensed funeral director who oversees my family's Funeral Home Casa Graziano of both Mamaroneck and Greenwich and the zolia Memorial Chapel of Westchester every Monday I come to you discussing
(00:36) important topic through sensitive matters that all of us need to pause and reflect upon at some point and through this show I hope to provide a platform to do so if you're joining us this morning on 1460 wvox the Whitney Global Media Station will take your questions comments and calls to 914-636-0110 good morning to Vinnie and those in the control room and good morning Facebook live viewers so happy to be back with you after the President's Day holiday good morning the Tim judge of brennerjulfill.com the man
(01:09) behind the camera so I'm joined on the line by a guest today and I'm really looking forward to doing the show because this is an organization that I personally have had calls to work with over the years as I've watched them Aid many families during times of Crisis I'm joined on the line by Tiffany Smith of Larchmont Friends of the family they do so much great work in the community and I'm going to let them tell you a bit more so good morning Tiffany good morning Jen how are you I'm okay
(01:40) thank you um Tiffany if you're local to Larchmont um even though this is an organization that has a thruse in the community for a long time you might not know about Larchmont Friends of the family unless you've had cause to need them um but if you do then you're certainly you know who they are and you're most grateful for them so talk to me a bit first of all about your role in the organization and then about the origins of this wonderful organization yeah so I've been involved in the family for a number of years now
(02:18) um the way that we actually my family and I got involved in the organization with about 13 years ago our daughter unexpectedly passed away and we had some individuals come to us to say you know do you need help with cooking cleaning um you know appointments for the boys therapy this that and the other thing and in our heads we were like no we're fine we're financially okay and not knowing what our smart Friends of the family was at that time we kind of said no we've got this under control and now looking back we didn't have it
(02:58) under control so when you're going through a big law you're going through grief um there's no rule book on how you're supposed to breathe so for us we had little kids at home and we thought for ourselves no no we've got this so we really actually did it so kind of when I came out of the fog um after losing our daughter I decided to get involved with our conference of the family because I wanted to know who these amazing people were that wanted to help me and my family um people that I didn't know whatsoever
(03:32) and I decided to get involved and I have to tell you it was probably one of the greatest things I've ever done in my life I'm sure I met Mary Stein and Kathy stout one of the founding members of largemouth friends as a family and of course they they are they started this as a Grassroots campaign literally writing letters to friends in their kitchen um starting meal trains for different parents who were sick within the community and um it it just blocked them for a very very long time and then there was kind
(04:12) of like a downward shift where people didn't know about Larson friends the family so back in 2017 a group of moms who were in a play group um started talking about it again and kind of thought let's bring this back into town and really um take a look at how we can help Mary and Kathy really make this organization Blossom so uh we had you know a bunch of different moms who came in and there were so many new people in town who had no idea that last month runs the family um we kind of hit the restart button and
(04:50) we introduced this to a younger generation and it really took off so Tiffany I'm sorry I just want a circle but just to like you know get people brought up to speed a little bit so yeah again this was started over 20 years ago by Mary Stein Cassie Stout who whom I've known actually most of my life uh just from from our church in school but the organization was designed to provide emotional and financial support to families with dependent children who are facing medical illness or loss so there was a death in the family there was an
(05:23) illness in the family and it was really you know they ran the gamut of ways that they could support be it the meal Train um scheduling appointments let's go into more of how a family was brought into large Friends of the family did they identify a need in the community and reach out is it a referral basis and how does it work um you will see a phone number on there okay you can call that phone number or you can send an email um it's all Anonymous so we never know as you know board member I never know
(06:02) who the family is that is in need of help uh we have social workers and nurses who go in and they talk to the family and they figure out what the needs of the family are so you may have a single mom who is going through treatment for cancer uh that single mom things that we don't think about unless we're in the situation is who's driving the kids to school every day who's driving them on food from treatment who's picking the kids up from school every day who's cleaning the house who's
(06:29) making sure there's dinner on the table who's making their lunches and their backpacks there's so many different things that we've done we've done and it also there's such a huge financial burden on so many of these individuals it's something as simple as the parking if you're born in New York City every single day for chemo treatments you're paying for your tools yeah you're paying for a significant amount of parking every single time you park your car or if you're taking the
(06:53) train you're paying for you know Metro North and the subway so our social workers and our nurses come in and they really assess the situation and they get to know the families and there are definitely some families who when we go in and we introduce ourselves and we meet them there we don't want that help because they think like they're going to be a burden on someone but that's not what they are we're all here to help each other and we come together as this one massive family and it's just something beautiful to see and
(07:24) it's amazing um over the years at the gala we've had different individuals who have received help from us come and speak and it's just unbelievable to hear these stories and how small amounts of kindness and you know a meal train you know a pickup from school when they come in and clean the house once a week um really helps these families tremendously yeah little things that we take for granted means so much and honestly it just shows you it really speaks to the heart of community this is what community is all about and embodies
(07:57) that whole Spirit um Tiffany are the so the volunteers are are they trained I mean what do you have to do to be a volunteer are these local moms that have kids in the school that are that are doing the pickups because they happen to be there or um are you getting cleaning services in the house uh what is the level of volunteerism that's there there's so many different ways to volunteer honestly um we have some people who are consistently on real trains and they literally mail every single day during the week for different families and
(08:34) that's that's how they volunteer their time we have you know moms and and dads who are social workers or doctors or nurses and they go through a training um before they can go into an individual's home um just to understand um the questions that are asked who has been involved in organizations for probably since the beginning and is still involved um she does a lot of our training um for those who are looking to help to do like intake evaluations um and then we have our board who you know we volunteer for the gala Ali brown
(09:17) right now who is a very good friend of mine she is killing it with this Gala and you know getting the word out right now um we have high school kids who are going to be helping out at the gala um many of them doing their volunteer hours for confirmation this year so I mean the amount of of volunteers that are needed right now it's tremendous and we've seen such an upset in covid so the demand is so much higher than it's ever been before so when you say demand is that because uh you're noticing that there's
(09:54) um an increase in the number of families need of assistance through illness um we're actually doing more and more cancer referrals um since after covid and I also think that um this group has done such a great job of getting the word out especially in the school system so you know they're in touch with the social worker so the social workers in every single Elementary School the middle school and the high school know that if there is something they can pick up the phone at any point in time okay so they can so
(10:31) that's my other question so you do service Beyond just the the village of Larchmont it's the the marinick Union Free School District correct let's say a soccer coach perfect example um a soccer coach may get sick but they don't technically live in marchmarks they might know that the nurse we would completely help this individual oh how wonderful to know so there has to be a tie to the community um you know Tiffany every organization has challenges and you reference something that I would agree with
(11:11) um for a long time this was an under the radar organization and I mean that in a good way these were good people doing good things for goodness sake I mean they weren't looking for accolades they just they saw a need and they filled it which is great but then the ability to grow becomes a bit limited without the you know the so-called PR aspect of it so you know you grow by referrals and you grow by people even myself I came to find out about you guys well after the fact of the Inception just by seeing families that I dealt with at the
(11:45) funeral home and seeing this really tremendous emotional support and I think it's a wonderful thing so what do you want to do uh so that's a challenge how do we overcome the challenge how do we continue to get the word out and what are some other challenges that you face that we can address today and bring attention to so over the past couple years uh we have seen the amount of grants that we've given out to families grow annually okay so um it has grown for between forty and fifty thousand dollars over the last
(12:21) couple years so what I mean is we usually give out about a hundred and twenty thousand dollars in Grants okay and we've seen the uptick and it's been an additional forty to fifty thousand dollars that's wonderful which is amazing so what we're seeing right now is um lots of people in the community do know about us a lot of people in the community don't know exactly what we do so that's what we're trying to get the word out more right now is to get people to understand exactly who we are
(12:53) um and and how they can help you know it may not be you don't have to come to the gal you might be able to donate your time or donate you know a one-time donation um or come to um there's a family that is going to be posting a music festival um in their neighborhood in May and they're going to have a full blue of bands that are going to be playing and any money that is raised during that is going to go to Larchmont Friends of the family so we're seeing not only are this massive Gala that's happening but we're
(13:27) seeing all these pop-ups um fundraisers and awareness happening around our um around our neighborhoods and it's amazing today so we're really excited and as you know firsthand again having you learned about it in a very difficult way but your impetus was to give back and join do you find that a lot of families follow suit to what you did I do actually um actually our um speaker this year um is mainly Brooklyn yeah we grew up in marchmont um she actually was a nurse shell right now um but she is a long time last month
(14:04) president um a parishioner at the University um her son her teenage son passed away unexpectedly a few years ago and he is going to be our keynote speaker uh this year so we're seeing people um who have received help from us come back and wants we actually have a high school student um right now who received some help and he did a small fundraiser at the high school and all the proceeds came back along not friends of the family it's wonderful to see you uh recognizing the benefits of this organization and
(14:41) wanting to do something about it I think that's wonderful if you can motivate especially teenagers um to think up you know outside of themselves in the World At Large that's a wonderful thing a hundred percent and I think part of that is um back in 2017 we were very close to closing our friends yeah let's talk about that let's talk about how you got there and again I know the the um resuscitation of the organization came from some well-intentioned moms uh in a play group but let's talk about
(15:13) um where you're at versus where you were a few years ago um we are at a completely different point right now which is it's amazing to see um we didn't have any of our volunteers involved didn't really have any school-aged children so we were missing that huge aspect of the organization so we weren't getting a lot of referrals from the schools from the nursing schools um and we tried to figure out how how is it how can we bring these younger Community back and understand what large the family is so we um came together at
(15:51) a playgroup and you know a bunch of moms Tina Sherwood I will say honestly did a phenomenal job along the floor of this way to really bring this organization back to life and they kind of found some moms in the community who they knew can help make an impact and we all came together and we kind of put our thinking hats on and said like how can we make large friends with a family a priority and that's what we did and we started off with the gala we did a piggy bank Drive which was amazing it was in the elementary schools where all the kids
(16:27) actually got a small piggy bank and if you went shopping in all the local stores on Mamaroneck Avenue and in marchmont you saw piggy bank at the counter and so basically for your spare change so for a month-long time you know you dropped your change in there and then at the end we picked up all the piggy banks we had high school kids come on in found all the change out we made thousands of dollars for the organization so just by that small amount of awareness you know people were calling that saying like why are you
(16:59) sending my kid home with a pink piggy bike but there's information regarding watch my friends and family and people were blown away because they had no idea that we even existed so that that was the start of how to get the word back out of that lady and what a great idea and and small steps yield really big results as you can see and I think what's so great is that your Gala on March 16th which tickets are still available and um I actually you know Following the show I'm going to be sure that I get
(17:27) mine as well but the gal is the first time you're gathering in person in two years I think that's wonderful um it's great to be back together in person and I think that you could really have a greater impact to hear the stories Earth and the kind of speak to people in the organization it's at the beautiful beach Point Club which does a phenomenal job um it's so wonderful to to hear that you guys are doing that and at the end of the show we'll make sure we give out the website and contact info Tiffany what
(18:00) does in terms of emotional support so we see that there are grants given um the meal trains are given but emotional support as you know the aftermath of loss it's just so difficult and even when you think you have it together um we always say if you don't deal with grief brief we'll deal with you at some point what are the emotional support services given whether it's an illness or a loss because even going through illness the emotional strains are so heavy so incredibly heavy so when our um team
(18:34) goes into in an evaluation or an intake um they really talk to the patient and or the family to try to figure out where they are so we will find great counselors for them we will find therapists so we find therapists for their children um we have such an amazing group of individuals who donate their time as well um a lot of this stuff is donated um a lot of it is you know discounted a lot of it is um done by word of mouth and getting them into different support groups that are out there because sometimes they're
(19:11) just so overwhelmed with grief that you even if you go to Google a support group you don't know exactly what you're what you're wanting yeah very true that's very true there's so much lack of awareness that you don't know the resources available to you and it's not as easy you know we think nowadays you can Google anything but you're not going to find the best fit for you and your children and your family so having that edit service is a great thing a hundred percent you know a support group or an
(19:40) individual who may have lost their spouse versus a support group for somebody who may have lost child is very different sure so we try to make sure that we are setting up everybody um in the in the right group and in in the group that will you know take them in and and help them and support them and lift them up so that's what we're trying to make sure that we're doing as well so connecting to counseling service um now in terms of the donations of ways people can get involved um obviously Financial donations are always great but
(20:15) if there are people who are mental health professionals or clinical professionals such as nurses they are able to go through your organization to donate their time and talent correct a hundred percent and there are links on the website um you can subscribe to the email list or you can email Larchmont fof gmail.
(20:40) com and or there's a confidential hotline that you can actually call as well and just leave a message on there letting us know what we can do to help or if you need help or if you know of somebody who is in need of help um everything is confidential but for any of those counselors that would like to donate their time or their services you know the number or the email address wonderful so Tiffany you know now that there's been a new life brings into the organization and this Resurgence do you see it expanding do you see you know is
(21:11) the goal to really tackle all you know emotional needs not just medical you know um do you see it expanding into divorce or other things that a family might go through I still know honestly um I would say right now our focus is on tragedy and illness and loss I think um that is where the grass is effort started 20 plus years ago you know that might be um an additional branch of largemount friends of the family eventually I think because the need is so large and so deep that we can't even think that far right
(21:56) um ahead because like I said the number of inquiries that we're getting each and every day are growing and I think when you see the community around us the community is growing so you know that classroom that used to have 15 kids in it now has 25 kids that's very true absolutely our schools are bigger our community is bigger we're seeing more and more houses going up yeah so the larger the population gets you know unfortunately that number of tragedies and illnesses and loss grow yeah I think no go ahead
(22:32) that's where our focus is is for now and we'll continue this day um so yeah that's what I would I adapt in my heart what I feel is what we will continue to do and like you said I mean I people don't realize the large one is such a beautiful place of space that I mean you picturesque setting great people great schools and often you know you don't think you know there's kind of an association with that where people just think everything is great from the outside looking in but there are real
(23:02) real there are sad stories there are tragedies and no community no matter how picturesque or beautiful is immune to that no one escapes that so like you said the need is certainly there um the community is growing it's very true like last sizes you know I went to John and Paul my daughter went many many years later and you know it almost looked like it's doubled um so that's very true houses going up you know needs go up people you know the amount of people come in certainly the needs have risen um quickly as our time coming to a close
(23:37) you have a Gala once again on March 16th are you looking for donations of uh prizes still uh will there be auctions Raffles what is needed for this um we want to see people actually we'd love to see your faces we want to see um the individuals come in and meet those that are behind the scenes um who make our smart friends the family what it is you know coming in and seeing Naomi who's the speaker um Erica Hill from CNN is RMC this year and she is a very nice friend of mine um she's absolutely wonderful uh her
(24:13) kids you know they grew up on the Murray side they go to school here in the community um and she got with the friends of the family and you know jumped right in um we also have an amazing band The downstate Darlings who have been doing the music at the Dallas for the past couple years and they are amazing um but we want to see the people come out and really get to know about livestream friends and the family there will be options there will be Asylum auction um there will be some Miracles there um but we want people to hear our story
(24:44) and we want people to hear the story of Naomi speaking this year yeah so she's gonna be a wonderful speaker she's going to be amazing and I she has the most wonderful family who has supported her over you know the past couple years and they're all going to be there I can't wait to see her mom out in the Dance Floor actually oh how wonderful Kitty is going to be a hit um it really is about you know friends and family coming together um to support each other and I think having people come to acknowledge the
(25:19) most important because they can see how tight this community actually is and like you said you know it looks so picture purpose like looking from the outside in but you don't know what's happening behind those closed doors so that's where we come in and we try to you know gather those family members and let them know it's all going to be okay so Tiffany Smith of Larchmont Friends of the family thank you for shedding light on this really wonderful local organization give us that website one more time
(25:50) friends is a family.org thank you and I look forward to seeing you on March 16th so take a look at that website everyone great ways to get involved this is the true meaning of community so this is Jen Graziano thanking you for taking the time to listen as we took the time to talk have a great day Westchester bye-bye yeah yeah