Addressing Sensuality in Personal Growth with Tazima Parris

Say YES to Your Soul

Tazima Parris joins host Tessa Lynne Alburn to discuss the importance of prioritizing pleasure for high-achieving people-pleasers. Tazima emphasizes that nurturing oneself and prioritizing pleasure is a feminine superpower. The podcast touches on the importance of addressing sexuality and sensuality in personal growth and development. Increase confidence, improve communications and boundaries.

Tessa’s Free Gift: If you want to reignite your Soul Fire, get your free E-Guide here and Say YES to Your Soul! http://www.tessafreegift.com/

Check it out!

• Tazima shares her journey of discovering the power of pleasure during a challenging time so she could cope with isolation
• Often with high-achieving people-pleasers, a challenge can be in them putting themselves last
• Prioritizing pleasure, self-nurturing, and taking care of oneself can enhance productivity and overall well-being
• Your sexuality and sensuality are fundamental aspects of personal power and self-discovery

About Tazima Parris

Tazima is a Sex Coach & Pleasure Mentor for high-achieving people-pleasing women 35+ who overthink, over-give, and end up overwhelmed. She creates space for women to pleasurably prioritize their needs to go from resentful to radiant. Some know Tazima as an Advanced Sex Educator for Grown-Ass Women.

Tazima uses communication tools and practices from her 25+ years of research and experience to help women increase confidence, clearly communicate their needs, and hold better boundaries.

Connect with Tazima

Website: https://www.infiniterelating.com/

If you’d like to hear more of Tazima’s guest episodes, check out her media page too https://www.infiniterelating.com/media

* About the Host *

Tessa Lynne Alburn believes that every woman has the ability to learn to express their true voice, be heard, and fulfill their dreams.

As a Feminine Energy Coach and Soul Connection Mentor for women, Tessa supports you in having the freedom you crave and strong connections with others, as you live powerfully with joy and a sense of adventure.

Tessa’s Free Gift: If you want to be freer, happier and more courageous in life, get your free Soulful E-Guide here and Say YES to Your Soul!

http://www.tessafreegift.com/

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May You Say YES to Your Soul.

Transcript

Tessa (00:07):

Hello there, ladies, I can hardly wait to have you meet this fabulous woman. Her name is Tazima Parris. First of all, it's just a super cool first name, right? And she is a sex coach and pleasure mentor for high achieving people-pleasing women like you who are 35 plus who overthink, overgive, and end up overwhelmed. She creates space for women to pleasurably, prioritize their needs, to go from resentful to radiant. Tazima uses communication tools and practices for more than 25 plus years of research and her experience to help women increase their confidence, clearly communicate their needs and hold better boundaries. Welcome to Say Yes to Your Soul, Tazima.

Tazima (01:10):

Hello. Thank you so much for having me, Tessa. I'm so excited to be here.

Tessa (01:14):

I am thrilled for you to be here, and I know you're just gonna spice things up. We were chatting earlier and I'm really excited about some of the things we're gonna talk about today. And so, I wanna hand it over to you just to start bringing them into your world a little bit, Tazima with your soul journey.

Tazima (01:34):

Yeah. So, number one, I just, I love, my favorite, favorite ladies on the planet are high achieving people, pleasers, as I said so , that it's a very specific blend of herbs and spices, in the universe of women. And it is my women and the people that I support are people who like really are good at getting things done and like they might be the top of their field. They're experts. They know how to do things, people can rely on them, especially in their field of expertise, especially around being there for other people.

(02:10):

And the tragedy of that combination of high achieving people pleasers is that they themselves are last on their list. They provide high quality support for other people, but so put themselves last and end up exhausted at the end of the day or at the end of the week, or like, kind of tumbling into the rest that they're supposed to give themselves and they fall asleep in front of their favorite programs. Or, you know, during meditation,

Tessa (02:38):

Absolutely exhausted. Exactly.

Tazima (02:41):

Plum, tuckered out . And so I acknowledge these women because I know that we all do get nourishment from supporting others. And if we don't support ourselves, we're actually doing a disservice to those we're attempting to show up for. And what I've discovered for myself and what I teach in my practice is that you nurturing yourself, taking care of yourself, prioritizing pleasure in particular, specifically for women is a

(03:14):

pleasure is a feminine superpower. And you can actually achieve more and get more productive if you prioritize pleasure. I know it does sounds crazy, but I've seen it time and time again. I've used this for myself and it even increases our productivity. It's a fabulous sort of like secret weapon that we can deploy and then we get the benefit of having that experience. And so does everyone else. 'cause like if you're taken care of, I mean, oh my goodness, like , you can actually show up without getting exhausted at the end. ,

Tessa (03:47):

That's amazing. And it's like really fun all along the way.

Tazima (03:52):

Sure is .

Tessa (03:53):

Okay, so let's take some baby steps here. Sure. So people are like, oh my gosh, what's happening? It's like a lot for me to take in. Let's come back to the superpower in a couple minutes. I wanna hear a little bit like, I know they wanna hear about how, you know, you started to recognize these things for yourself and what were some of the problems that you were having before you broke through to your superpower?

Tazima (04:19):

Yeah. So this is, it's such a funny thing and I know that because your audience and the folks that I help are, we're all helpers. We help a lot of people and, and I just had to chuckle to myself the day when I said, oh, maybe I should do my own work on myself. Maybe it might help . I'm in this debacle. And so, much like many others, and this is only one round, one episode of my journey, but I'll highlight really the moment that I got in touch with prioritizing pleasure. And that was probably about three months into the pandemic. Uh, so...

Tessa (05:01):

Oh my goodness.

Tazima (05:02):

Yeah. So about three months in, it was probably May, June. And I was really, really frustrated because as a high achiever , I was like, I have to pivot my business and blah, blah, blah.

(05:20):

And I was kind of pumping myself up but every day I would be so exhausted and there was just sort of nothing that I could do in the process of like kind of looking at what I had to do. And like, it felt like a mountain of work that I had to accomplish to transition my stuff online. And even though I have been coaching people remotely since way back in 2015, like I was one of the kind of first users of Zoom when people went to Zoom during the pandemic, I was like, yeah, no problem. I've already been doing this for years, no problem. And before that I used to . I used to have people call into a conference phone line. , that's how old school I am .

Tessa (06:03):

Oh my goodness. You and I have been through some of the same things. I started there as well. Yeah.

Tazima (06:07):

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And so, yeah, so even though I was coaching people remotely, I was still meeting people in the analog world, literally at meetings, in-person networking. And so when that all went away, I became sort of dejected and sad and depressed about the situation. And I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna do my business. And I feel too overwhelmed to do anything. All the things that I normally would go to that I enjoy that would support me to feel better, those things are not available to me. One of those major, major things was going to the spa. So there's a particular spa that's local to me, and it's, you know, it's one of those reasonably priced spas. Not the super duper fancy, but like, you know, you go there, you pay your 35 bucks and then you know, you have a day or whatever.

Tessa (07:01):

Wait a second, we just have to pause. Where is that ? I need to go where the $35 spas.

Tazima (07:05):

. Well, if you come to the Chicago land area, you can let me know, any of your listeners as well. Come to the Chicagoland area and then we'll go to Niles and there's a place called King Spa, and it's either 35 or 50 depending on what you get. And then, yeah, we can go and hang out in the hot tub and the and the sauna.

Tessa (07:28):

Nice. Okay. Now I know where to stop when I'm going.

Tazima (07:31):

Yeah, exactly. Come on through, come through . So yeah, so I, so that wasn't available to me. And so it was really upsetting and thankfully at that time I actually did have access to a really, really nice bathtub . I had a really nice bathtub. And so I'm team hot tub team bath. Not everyone is, some people are freaked out by and that's fine. But for me, immerse me, immerse the Tazima in hot water and everything is fine . So I'm like, it's fine. , I don't even, whatever's happening. So during this really challenging emotional time, I decided to try and experiment. I'm a scientist by both training and nature. I was always like, curious about how things works. Then I was like, oh, let me figure out what I could do for myself. And so part of it was, what do I like to do?

(08:26):

And then I had to translate those things to things that were a actually available. So yeah, so I like the kink spot. Oh, I'm going to take a bath every day. And so I would purchase my bath salts and like light a incense and a candle and have some tea and like set it up so that like, I'm having a spa experience at my home. And so I did that and four other things every day to just make sure that I could stay functional. 'Cause it was really like, what can I do to get myself out of the bed and eat some food? Like that's, I was on baseline operation. I was like, what can I,

Tessa (09:07):

Oh my goodness.

Tazima (09:08):

Yeah.

Tessa (09:08):

So what really what you're saying is like you were so lit up and happy when you were interacting with people in person.

Tazima (09:17):

Yes.

Tessa (