"Can you talk about ego and getting rejected by women?"

MikeMehlman.net

Main blog - https://mikemehlman.net/

Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/mikemehlman

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mike_mehlman/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/mikemehlman.net

Someone asked a question on my last YouTube video about how ego relates to rejection. I wouldn't ordinarily think anything of this, but there are two notable points: 1) Various guys have asked me this, so apparently this is a concept frequently gestated, and 2) I myself have never once thought about ego in relation to rejection. The second point in particular is very interesting to me because this might actually be the unlock into helping explain how I'm able to withstand incessant rejection to the level I do. In other words, I've never once contemplated ego in relation to rejection. When I talk about aptitude for approach, somehow I just intuitively understood, even from Stage 1, that incessant rejection wasn't a repudiation of me but instead just an inherent facet of the cold approach / dating process. The fact that I don't connect rejection with ego is what allows me to effectively embrace the former. It's what allows me to approach in high volume. If I internalized rejections as an affront to my ego, then I certainly wouldn't be able to approach as many women as I do. *The less the male ties rejection to ego, the more greatly he will be able to withstand incessant rejection and continue approaching anyway.* I've talked about how the #1 trait that determines a male's success in dating is his ability to continue approaching in spite of repeated rejection. This means the less the male ties his ego to rejection, the more successful he will be in dating. This makes sense in a qualitative sense - i.e., "Well yeah, ego is generally a bad thing, so of course a male would be better in dating if he doesn't have an ego." But the actual tangible bridge of thought to be made here is that less ego surrounding rejection means the male is literally able to approach more. It's not an accident that I am able to approach as much as I do. It's a direct result of the mental state I occupy where I don't take rejection personally. Guys might say they could approach a lot in theory if they wanted to. "Well yeah, I could approach tons of girls every day if I really wanted to." But I don't see this to be the case. I really don't think guys can. I don't think most guys are strong enough mentally to be able to maintain consistent approach volume. It is in my view that the male's ability to incur repeated rejection and persevere with his approaches, as a result of not taking rejections personally, is a more core, innate characteristic of the male rather than one he acquires via his surroundings/influences - i.e., a constitutional rather than acquired/learned mindset. A male can have the greatest influences in the world (i.e., my blog, videos, and DMs) and still be a whiny simp who takes rejection personally and can't maintain any appreciable volume of approach. *My aptitude for approach is linked to the fact that I've somehow been able to innately decouple ego from the process of getting rejected repeatedly.* The inability to disconnect ego from rejection is the reason why many guys will never identify the latter as inherent to approach/dating. Their ego prevents them from realizing/accepting that rejection is normal and will never go away. Their ego creates a blind spot. Essentially a form of denial that shields them from...

Full article: https://mikemehlman.net/2021/02/03/can-you-talk-about-ego-and-getting-rejected-by-women/