How to Manage Perfectionism...with or without OCD

Free Me from OCD

Episode Title: How to Manage Perfectionism...with or without OCD

Host: Dr. Vicki Rackner, MD

Summary: In this episode, Dr. Vicki Rackner explores the concept of perfectionism and its impact on people with and without OCD.

Key Takeaways:

1. The Difference Between Healthy Striving and Perfectionism:
   • Healthy striving is about personal growth and aiming for excellence based on what you value.
   • Perfectionism is about fear of judgment, driven by external validation and the belief that by being perfect, you can avoid blame or shame.
   • While healthy striving leads to growth, perfectionism leaves you stuck in cycles of anxiety and disappointment.
2. Perfectionism’s Backfire Effect:
   • Perfectionism often leads to procrastination, missed deadlines, and exhaustion.
   • Perfectionism is harmful not only in your professional life but also in personal relationships.
3. Perfectionism and the Brain:
   • Perfectionism is linked to the fear-driven response from our evolutionary Paleo Brain, which sees mistakes as threats to survival.
   • In people with OCD, perfectionism can manifest as compulsions, increasing anxiety rather than alleviating it.
   • Social media can exacerbate perfectionism by constantly presenting "perfect" images that fuel unrealistic expectations.
4. Exercises for Overcoming Perfectionism:
   • Examine Your Language: Stop identifying yourself or others as a "perfectionist" and view perfectionism as a behavior, not a character trait.
   • Identify Your Perfection-Seeking Habits: Reflect on specific examples of perfectionism in your life and the fears driving them.
   • Weigh the Costs and Benefits: Ask yourself how perfectionism serves or harms you, and challenge the belief that perfection leads to better outcomes.
   • Have a Conversation with Your Perfectionism: Imagine perfectionism as a being you interact with and ask why perfection is necessary in your life.
   • Practice Making Mistakes on Purpose: Try "mistake therapy" by intentionally making mistakes to desensitize yourself to the fear of imperfection.
   • For Those with OCD: If perfectionism is linked to compulsions, work on them with your therapist using ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention).

Actionable Steps:

• Reflect on where perfectionism shows up in your life. Is it about what you value, or is it driven by fear of judgment?
• Practice making small, intentional mistakes each day to break the cycle of perfectionism.
• Shift from a fixed to a growth mindset by celebrating efforts and progress, rather than chasing the unattainable goal of perfection.
• Seek support from a therapist if your perfectionism is intertwined with OCD compulsions.

Quotes:

• “Perfectionism is not a badge of honor. It’s a set of behaviors that will keep you stuck.”
• “Healthy striving is about you. Perfectionism is all about what others think about you.”
• “Once you know you can live through a feeling, you have nothing to fear anymore.”

Connect with Dr. Vicki Rackner:

• Website: FreeMeFromOCD.org
• Social Media: Follow Dr. Rackner on Instagram and Facebook for more insights and resources on managing OCD.