Ep 43 | 3 Tips to Help You Recover From Social Isolation After Narcissistic Abuse

But Still, She Thrives - Narcissistic Abuse, Toxic Relationships, Grey Rock Method, Healthy Boundaries, Childhood Abuse, Trauma Healing

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This week, let's talk about 3 Tips to Help You Recover From Social Isolation After Narcissistic Abuse

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https://ChristyJade.podbean.com/e/ep-19-finding-true-friendship-as-an-adult/

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Transcript:

Speaker 1: (00:00)
What's up party people? This week we are still on the series talking about psychological effects from narcissistic abuse. We're working through this. We are almost to the end of this series. So also chime in, message me, email me, let me know what topics you want me to cover. You can always check my show notes and my email address, which is fierce mama c gmail is there. So you can write me and be like, Hey, I want you to talk about this. I have a little list going, so add to it. All right, so today we are going to dive into social isolation. It's a big one. Narcissists do this to their victims. They socially isolate them, which actually has an effect. So let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: (00:49)
Hey Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawly narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal. Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted? girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life. And I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace.
Speaker 1: (01:46)
So if you've been following me, you know that there are tons of effects from narcissistic abuse and they can be psychological and this sucks and we hate it. So we're gonna talk about how to undo it, reverse it, slip or down. Reverse it. Name that tune. Um, so this week we are talking about social isolation. So if you were not familiar with this, narcissists will isolate you socially. There's all sorts of things they do, but this is what we're talking about today, specifically social isolation, where they will try to isolate you from your family, from your friends, and they can do it subtly. They can do it slowly. They can do it in a way where they will turn you against people who actually love and care for you. And they start to mess with your mind trying to convince you that those people are not good for you or don't want the best for you and they're just protecting you.
Speaker 1: (02:41)
It's a whole gross ucky, yicky, all those key words. Okay? So today we are gonna talk about three ways you can help heal and work on that social isolation effect. Because when you've been in that relationship, especially if you've been in it for a long time, you may have lost friends, you may have lost family, you may have forgotten how to be social because you've been so codependent on your narcissist. So we don't want that anymore. We are gonna flip it into you 2.0 and we are going to gain back that confidence, that social relaxation where you feel better going into friendships. We actually have, I have some podcast episodes on friendships I can link and just in general kind of undoing what has happened, even if you never, maybe you grew up under the thumb of a narcissist. So you were always dependent on a parent or a sibling and you'd never develop those skills.
Speaker 1: (03:43)
Some of these things will help you with that as well. So let's dive in. Number one, seeking support from understanding individuals. So this is where, let's say before your narcissistic situation, you had friends, you had family, you had people that were close to you. Maybe you feel awkward now trying to get back to them. I'm telling you a lot of the times if you go in with love and you just say, look, I have gone through a lot and I miss you and I don't know how to get this back, but I really am asking for you. And you could even say forgiveness. People feel can feel slighted when you've cut them out of your life because of a narcissist. They can view it as you rejected them, when really we know how it all works. Like you are just this puppet of this narcissist at times, right?
Speaker 1: (04:39)
Like you're not even making your own decisions half the time, but their perspective may be different. So you can say, you know, I'm sorry about the situation. I'm realizing now what I've gone through and part of me healing and working through this is trying to reach out, apologize, and hopefully mend some of the relationships that I have lost in my life. Now, this is something me and my one-on-one clients work on. Um, because it can get kind of specific and you might need customized coaching. So if you want just like a one-off call to figure out how to have a conversation with a specific person, look at my show notes. And there there are power calls we can do the, um, journey to peace call. That is if you just want like one call, bing bang, let's figure the strategy out. That's a perfect way.
Speaker 1: (05:32)
Or if you wanna see, if you wanna do ongoing coaching with me, it's a great way to test it out. So go into my show notes if you're looking for some support in this. Anyway, so this could be also support group. So if you don't have those friends or family already, or you don't have past friends or family, maybe you just didn't have great relationships your entire life. There are support groups comprised of people who have experienced similar situations to you. And you can find this maybe locally, there's codependency anonymous, which if you've been isolated, you're probably codependent. Sorry, spoiler alert. So there are, I believe there's in-person, and I know there's online classes for codependency. Um, you can look on Facebook or whatever other social media platforms that have groups. I don't know them all. I usually use Facebook for things like that. But there are are all also, you know, domestic violence or abuse related groups that have local chapters.
Speaker 1: (06:35)
So you can do some Googling, thank God for Google and try to find something specific. If you want my help to find a group, please reach out. Email me. I love researching and helping with this stuff. So, um, cause I know some people get very overwhelmed, especially when you've been through abuse. I get it. It's also overwhelming sometimes we don't know where to start. So for me, it's, it's an easy thing I can help you with. All right, number two, rebuilding those social connections gradually. So, like I said, you know, reaching out might be hard, but try give yourself a little push. Say, coach Christy said it's okay. Believe in me. Do some affirmations around that. But gradually reconnecting with the people who were part of your social circle before. The abuse is something that I think is really good. If they were healthy people, of course you wanna evaluate, are these people good for me?
Speaker 1: (07:28)
Were they good to me back then before I got into this situation, did, was it people who were checking in and trying and really wanting to nurture a relationship with you? Those are the type of people that you want in your life. So reach out to those people who have showed understanding and caring or if, if you don't have those people, pay attention when you're out and about. Find a reason to just chat someone up at the grocery store. Dang, girl, look at that shiny apple. I don't know. Put yourself out there a little bit and see if you can build relationships and grow some trusting relationships that you deserve. Again, there are some more tips on that in my friendship based episodes, I will link. Um, but consider participating in group activities, hobby clubs, volunteering, those type of things. They might be like the, the sharing tips on apples in the grocery store.
Speaker 1: (08:28)
Okay, no, but joining those type of things where you have similar interests and it's a place that people are kind of expected to meet each other. That is a place you can start finding new relationships. Doesn't mean you have to be BFFs, but just being able to build that little social muscle again is a great thing. Number three, of course, we're not gonna get away from this episode with a little self-care chat. Yes, focusing on your self-care and your personal development, which you're doing. If you're listening to this podcast, good job. You've got a good start. Can help restore your emotional wellbeing and build that resilience up again. Like taking care of yourself after you have been isolated is very, very important. As important as the social aspect of actually meeting people. Take care of you. Take care of yourself. Build that confidence. Do those affirmations, all that energy moving work like I do the yoga.
Speaker 1: (09:26)
If you wanna do a reiki session with me, look in the show notes for that. Um, anything that will help your mind, body, and soul get back. Rebalanced is very, very crucial to this healing process and it helps everything together, right? It's like a well-oiled machine working together where you have yes, building your own confidence, which can in turn attract better people into your life that you can trust and build relationships with. So maybe you don't feel confident enough to even join one of those classes, one of those hobby clubs, activity type things, right? Maybe you don't feel comfortable enough. So once you start doing this self-care and self-confidence building, you will start to get more and more confident, have more assertiveness, and you can then say, mm, uh, I'm, I'm getting there, boo boo. I was calling myself boo boo. And then you can be like, let's go do this.
Speaker 1: (10:25)
Let's go rock out. Meet some people and trust again. It's hard. I get it, I've been there. But you know what? You really miss out when you don't push yourself a little bit, you know, nothing too crazy. But sometimes we need to stretch a little outside of our comfort zone. And what will help with that is building that self-confidence. So as you grow and develop in these ways, your confidence and sense of self will increase. Making it easier to reconnect with new people or even getting back to those old friendships that you had before the abuse started. Remember healing from abuse takes time. But be patient with yourself, have grace. Seek professional help if needed. Come jump into my show notes. There's plenty of ways to work with me. If you're just like, I wanna customize package, here's what I can afford. Help me out, email me.
Speaker 1: (11:21)
We'll figure something out. I love to help and I'm going to help you if you need help in some way. So hit me up, queen, hit me up. I will tailor something to your specific needs and we are going to get you back to good feeling, good, peace, freedom, all that jazz, all hands to heart. It's that time, let me say not if you're driving, nobody needs you not holding that wheel unless you're in a Tesla. Okay? Ah, so today's theme was getting back from isolation, right? Dealing with social isolation after the abuse. So hands to heart, you repeat after me. I am deserving of community, okay? I am an amazing human and deserve amazing people in my life. And finally, I do not blame myself for the isolation I went through because I'm a queen. Yes, there it is. All right, love you guys. See you in the next episode. Have a beautiful day or night, wherever you are, whenever you are. Dos and smooches.