Ep 3.7 - Getting Into It: Overt Conflict with Your Clients with Dr. K Hixson

A Therapist Can't Say That

Be honest. When you think about overt conflict with a client, is your first thought that it’s a site of exciting progress, full of potential for movement?

No, of course not. I don’t either.

If you’re like me, and I’m guessing a lot of you are, your first reaction to actual, or even hypothetical, conflict with a client is somewhere on a spectrum from deeply uncomfortable to scared. It's a shared experience, and it's okay.

It’s okay to feel uncomfortable, challenged, and even scared. But these are the moments when we have the potential to do the most transformative work for ourselves and our clients. So, let's embrace these opportunities for growth.

Dr. K Hixson returns to the podcast to dive into how we can handle overt conflict with clients, including how avoiding conflict damages the therapeutic relationship, common sites of conflict, the importance of not rushing a resolution, and much more.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• The many factors that cause therapists to be conflict avoidant, from cultural milieu to liability fears
• How the “good therapist” myth and taboos in the field impact common sites of conflict between therapist and client
• Why we have to disentangle fear of doing harm from fear of hurt or conflict
• Why we need to learn not to take responsibility for things that aren’t ours
• How denying a client’s bids for conflict and not calling them on their shit can damage the relationship
• How clients benefit from our modeling, that conflict does not have to be dangerous or suppressed

Learn more about Dr. K Hixson:

• Website

Learn more about Riva Stoudt:

• Into the Woods Counseling
• The Kiln School
• Instagram: @atherapistcantsaythat
  
  

Resources:

• The Analyst's Vulnerability: Impact on Theory and Practice, Dr. Karen Maroda