Ep 4 - Own It!: Taking 100% Responsibility For Your Life

"The Life I Deserve" presents "The Goal Show" by Adrian McMillian

Have you ever asked yourself? Where is the Life I Deserve? I’m entitled to it, right? Shouldn’t I have my amazing career by now? Shouldn’t my soul mate be knocking on my door, by now? Shouldn’t I have my perfectly toned, beach body by now? After all, I deserve these things, right? Deserve it, yes! Entitled to it, no! But it can happen! It’s up to you! If you decide to take 100% responsibility for your life!

Most of us, have been conditioned, to blame something outside of ourselves, for the parts of our life we don’t like. We blame our parents, our bosses, our friends, our co-workers, our clients, our spouse, the weather, the economy, our astrological chart, our lack of money—anyone or anything we can place the blame on. It’s easy to blame any of these external factors, for our current state in life. However, there are people, who have encountered similar, even more challenging, circumstances, and despite this, those people, are accomplishing amazing things in their lives. How is this possible? Listen, as I share with you how a perspective can transform your life. The perspective of “Taking 100% Responsibility”.

Workshop

Jack Canfield, best-selling author, has taught me the tools, perspectives, and attitudes, that have allowed me to transform my life. And I'm now working directly with Jack, to learn how to teach others, how to find their true happiness!

On September 24th, I’m hosting a an exciting, and value-packed workshop, in which I will share what I've learned, and we learn more together! Join me for this fun, festive, insightful event, which will include proven techniques, and practices, that have propelled so many people to great success, and the accomplishment of their dreams!

You'll learn how to identify and define, your mission in life! You'll learn how to create goals that align with your mission! You'll learn how to manifest those goals, in a way that will clarify the actions necessary to reach those goals! You'll learn how to tackle the roadblocks standing in your way! And you'll have a great time in the process! Be prepared to learn, grow, and dance your butt off!! Yes, there will be dancing! Don’t know how to dance, no problem! No experience necessary. So reserve your spot today, so we can learn, laugh, and celebrate together!! :-)

Just visit http://TheLifeIDeserve.com/workshop for more information!

Seating is limited, so reserve your spot today! :-)

We’re not Entitled

One of the greatest myths, that’s pervasive in our culture today, is the idea that we are entitled to a great life. And somehow, someway, someone is responsible for filling our lives with happiness, great career options, a nurturing family, and blissful personal relationships, simply because we exist. The truth is, there is only one person responsible for the quality of your life. And that person is you!

You see, you were the one that decided to study a particular trade. Or, you’re the one that decided not to study. You’re the one that chose to move there. You’re the one that chose to get involved. You’re the one that chose not to get involved. You’re the one that decided to buy it. You’re the one that decided not to pay that bill. You’re the one that decided to have another drink. You’re the one that decided to sleep-in. You’re the one that let the dogs out. (Who let the dogs out music).

Successful People

You see, successful people, take full responsibility for the thoughts they think, the images they visualize, and the actions they take. They don't waste their time and energy blaming and complaining. They evaluate their experiences and decide if they need to change their actions, or not. They face the uncomfortable, and take risks in order to create the life they want to live.

Believe me, I understand that things happen. And, I know that each of us can come up with plenty of excuses for where we are, in life. For example, where we work, or don’t work, the relationships we have, or don’t have, and the state of our health.

2 Ladies Quitting Bank

True story. There were 2 ladies working for a bank.

They were not happy with their jobs. The boss was demanding. Their coworkers were inconsiderate. And the customers were rude.

So, one evening, while sharing their miseries with each other, they decided that they would both quit. And, they decided that they would announce their resignation at the end of the next day.

Well, they were so excited about quitting, they both got to work early. They were the first ones in the office. They both dressed more professionally, than ever before. They were so charged-up, they not only got their not only got their own offices, clean and organized, they also cleaned and organized, much of the other areas of the office. The next person to come through the door, was a older woman who had worked at the bank for sometime. One of the ladies, said “don’t you look beautiful this morning! I had no idea you came in so early. Let me get you a cup of coffee.” Well, the older woman was a bit surprised. She knew this lady well. And she never saw her with such a positive attitude.

Well, the following employees came into the office. And the ladies greeted each one, with the same pleasant demeanor.

The first customer came through the door. And one of the ladies smiled and said “you’re our first customer today, and I can already tell we're going to have a wonderful day, because I’ll bet everyone today is going to be as pleasant, and cheerful as you.” The customer was very grateful to be greeted so kindly. They went on to welcome each customer in the same warm, pleasant manner. And they eagerly, and enthusiastically, made sure that each customer was well taken care of.

Around 4 PM, that day, and one of the ladies said to the other, “are you gonna tell him, or should I”. The other lady, replied “tell him what?”. “You know, tell him that we're quitting our jobs.” The other lady said “quit? The best job I ever had? Are you kidding me?”

So, what are we talking about here? We’re talking about 100% Responsibility for everything in your life. And of course, that includes, your attitude.

What to Do Now?

Are you taking 100% responsibility? Here’s an exercise that can help you to determine how much responsibility you’re accepting for your life. Answer each question as honestly as you can. This exercise is even more powerful, if you can have another person, ask you the questions, and be a witness for your answers, and your current accountability level.

1. What is a difficult or troubling situation in your life?

2. How are you creating it or allowing it to happen?

3. What are you pretending not to know?

4. What is the payoff for keeping it like it is?

5. What would you rather be experiencing?

6. What actions will you take to create that?

7. By when will you take that action?

You have to become leader of your life. Ultimately, you are responsible for your decisions.

In Summary:

• Give up all your excuses. They won’t get you anywhere.

• If you don’t like the outcome, change the your responses. You are the only constant.

• Understand that everything you experience today is the result of your choices you made in the past. Therefore you can make better decisions now!

• If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got. Change your methods to change your results!

Your Challenge to Own It!

I want to empower you! I want you to know that you’re capable of making dramatic improvements in your life. It’s time to adopt a new perspective! It’s time to adopt a new way of reacting to all of the choices in front of you.

You see, you have the ability to direct the course of your life. You have the ability to create a more fulfilling future. You have the tools, the ingenuity, and the skills, to make great decisions!! And, by seeing how you’ve created your current situations in life. You, will be able to see, how you can create an amazing future!

So, let’s do this together! Let’s give up all blaming, complaining, and excuse making. I want to challenge you, to accept 100% responsibility. This may feel uncomfortable, at first. But, trying on new perspectives, and being uncomfortable, is how we grow, and become more. We all have greatness inside! If we challenge ourselves with full responsibility, the creative ideas, perspectives, and solutions, will reveal themselves!

My University Story

Please note, I’m a work in progress. We’re all works in progress. I’m not claiming to have mastered the “100% Responsibility” perspective. However, as I continue to implement this way of thinking, into my life, I’m able to make better decisions for myself, and the people that I care about.

When I was 6 years old, I was playing outside with a friend. And, although I knew better, we were playing near the street. We were actually across the street from my friends house. My friend crossed the street, back to the side where his house was. A car came speeding around the corner. My tiny 6 year old brain, told me I should be on the other side of the street, before the car comes. I started to run across the street. The next thing I remember, I’m in street, and covered in blood, with paramedics surrounding me. The car hit me.

I remember my mom running around the corner. Now, let me ask, who here has children? Can you imagine hearing that your 6 year old was hit by a car? My poor mother was a mess. And, it hurts me to remember how scared she was.

The paramedics, quickly determined that my leg was broken. And they would have to cut my jeans off of my body. This may be TMI, but it’s pretty funny. When I was 6, I couldn't stand to wear underwear. And at 6 years old, I was mortified by the fact that I could be completely naked with all of these people surrounding me. I pleaded for them to not cut my pants off. “just take me home. I’ll lay on the couch until I’m better. Please. I promise.”

When the people around me asked what happened, being terrified that I would get in trouble, I claimed that my friend was chasing me. This was a moment of not only denying that I alone was responsible. This was an absolute lie. And, this was completely unfair to my friend. I’ve never shared this part of the story with anyone before. I wish I could remember my friend’s name, so I could apologize, for blaming him, for my bad judgement. This was truly a moment, of avoiding responsibility.

I spent 3 months in the hospital. And 6 months in a body cast. I had to learn how to walk again, and how to ride a bike again. But, the worst part, is that I was not accountable for actions.

As I went through high school my parents informed me that the car accident, had resulted in an insurance settlement. When I turned 18, I would have access to the money from the settlement. Since, my we didn’t have much money, my parents excitedly told me that this would help me to at least get started, with a college education. Unfortunately, when I turned 18, I completely lacked any budgeting skills, and I didn’t take long before the money was gone. Again, I was not taking responsibility for my life, and for my future.

I worked a few retail jobs after high school. I didn’t see much of a future in these jobs. And, I knew I wanted a career that would be challenging and rewarding. I decided it was time to take 100% responsibility for my future. I got information on how to apply for financial aid for college. I worked to put together all of the necessary paperwork, and submit all the necessary documentation. I applied to colleges, knowing that I now had the financial means to go to college. I was so excited! However, I didn’t realize how much time the process would take. Because, of the timing, I missed the Fall deadlines for all, but 1 college, Sam Houston State University. So, with my Application submitted, I eagerly checked the mail every day, for a response. When I received my application letter, I almost cried. Growing up without much money, I never expected that I would be able to attend a University.

I packed some clothes, and took a bus to Sam Houston State University. When I got there, I still had so much to figure-out. It took me hours of waiting in different lines before I was able to get a dorm room assignment. It was getting dark, and I set out to find my dorm. I felt like I was walking to the next city. My dorm had to be the absolute furthest from the campus.

The room was very basic. Tile floor, brick walls. A single fluorescent light, a bed, covered in plastic. But, no sheets, or comforters, and no pillow.

The next day, I woke up early, to get registered for my class. Another, full day of waiting in lines, figuring out where to go next, and then waiting in another line.

Wanting to get some food to keep in my dorm room, I walked to the nearby grocery store. The grocery store was on the other side of a run-down neighborhood. And on the way back, through the rough neighborhood, I came across a group of about 10 guys. While walking around the group, one of them got in my face, and asked “what did you bring me?”. My heartbeat so hard. What was I going to do. Give up my food. And go home empty handed? I walked around the guy, and proceeded to make my way back to campus. Just a few steps later, I felt a brick fly by my ear. Yes, one of the guys tried to throw a brick at my head. It missed my head by about an inch. My heart beat even harder, as I just kept walking.

To top things off, I found out that the processing of my financial aid, was delayed. It seemed to be perpetually delayed. Every couple of weeks I applied for a deferment of the dorm, food plan, and class charges. My financial aid funding did not come through until 1 week after the semester ended.

Regardless, I accepted 100% responsibility for getting a college education.

100% Responsible for our Accomplishments!

To be successful, we each have to take 100% responsibility for everything that we experience in our lives. This includes the level of our achievements, the results we produce, the quality of our relationships, the state of our health and physical fitness, our finances, and our feelings. As of today, accept that you are responsible for everything in your life!

You will be challenged. Your success is up to you! When you are challenged. Don’t blame. Just learn what you can from the situation, and move on.

Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan, considered by many to be the greatest basketball player of all time, was devastated when he was cut from his high school varsity basketball team sophomore year. Failure only inspired him to work harder.

Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs was fired from the company he founded – Apple. He also failed with NeXT computer company and the Lisa computer. When Jobs returned to Apple, he led the business to become the most profitable company in the US.

Walt Disney

No one wanted to hire Walt Disney as an artist. In fact, he couldn’t get hired elsewhere either. So, his brother got him a temporary job. Walt’s first animation studio went bankrupt. He went on to co-found The Walt Disney Company, which had over $40 billion in 2012 revenue.

Steven Spielberg

Steven Spielberg was rejected both times he applied to attend film school at University of Southern California (USC). That didn’t stop him. Spielberg has grossed $8.5 billion from films he directed. Oh, and after Spielberg became famous, USC awarded him an honorary degree, and Spielberg later became a trustee of the university.

Charles Schultz

Charles Schultz’s drawings were rejected by his high school yearbook. Schultz went on to create Peanuts (featuring Snoopy and Charlie Brown). The cartoon and licensing/product revenue from Peanuts generated over $1 billion a year. The high school eventually put a statue of snoopy in the main office.

The Beatles

The Beatles were rejected by numerous record labels including Decca Records, which said, “guitar groups are on the way out” and “the Beatles have no future in show business.” The Beatles did wind up getting signed by a record label. The Beatles sold more than 177 million albums. And 1.6 billion singles!

All of these people are prime examples of taking the “100% Responsibility” attitude. Success was not handed to any of them. They accepted responsibility about where they were in life, and where they wanted to go.

Trivia

Last show’s question:

When Apple was building a new data center in North Carolina, they paid one elderly couple $1.7 million dollars for 1 acre of land. How much did the couple pay for the land 34 years earlier?

And the winning answer…

...was again, submitted by Andrei Aleksandrov, who correctly guessed “$6,000”!! That’s a $1,694,000 gain. Congratulations, Andrei!!

Today’s trivia question:

Years ago, a woman, sold books door-to-door while her husband served in the military. When her husband returned from duty, the couple divorced. The woman was left with three children, at a time when divorce wasn’t acceptable. The woman was frustrated, when passed over for a promotion because of her gender. So, she and her second husband planned a business. One month prior to launch her husband died. With a $5,000 investment from her oldest son, this woman launched a cosmetics business. Despite these challenges, the woman’s company reported a 2014 revenue as over $3.5 billion. Who was this woman?

Send your answer from the Web Site, “TheLifeIDeserve.com”. From the Web Site, you can leave voicemail or email. Just click on the “Contact” tab.

To summarize today’s trivia question:

Who was the woman this woman, who despite many setbacks, took control over her life, and created a very successful cosmetics business?

Go to “TheLifeIDeserve.com”, to submit your answer.

The winner will receive 2 complimentary tickets to The Life I Deserve 3 Hour Workshop on September 24th. You can visit TheLifeIDeserve.com/workshop for more information.

Questions, Comments, Compliments

I want to remind you, that “The LIfe I Deserve” is here for you! Let me know how I can help you. What topics would you like to hear more about? What goals do you have, for your health, wealth, and happiness? Reach out to me! Visit “TheLifeIDeserve.com”. And send me email or voicemail. From the Web Site, click on the “Contact” tab. You’ll see a button, there, that will allow you to record voicemail. Or, if you’d rather leave email, just fill-in the form, just below the voicemail button.

I really want to hear from you!! And, yes, I do mean you! Reach out! Let me know what’s on your mind. Maybe you have an inspirational story, or thought, that you’d like to share. Just go to “TheLifeIDeserve.com”, and then click on the Contact tab.

Salutation

Well, that’s going to do it, for today’s show. I hope you found this episode valuable! My mission, is to inspire and empower, those that I encounter, to live full and meaningful lives, by sharing lessons learned, tools for self improvement, and life-­changing perspectives. Subscribe to the Podcast, so we can take this journey together. I hope today’s show has helped you to see, that you’re in complete control of your life. And, you, can create the future that you desire! :-)

Final Quotes

I’d like to leave you with the following great quotes about taking responsibility for your life:

"You can’t hire other people to do your push-ups for you!"

-Jim Rohn

“We are each responsible for our own life - no other person is, or even could be.”

-Oprah Winfrey

“History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.”

-Winston Churchill

Thanks again, for listening to the “The Life I Deserve”. This Podcast was designed for you! Designed to enhance your health, grow your wealth, and fill your life, with happiness!! Visit “TheLifeIDeserve.com”, and send me voicemail, or email. Let me know something about you. What inspires you? How I can help you? Do you have a suggestion for the show? Let me know. And, if you just happen to love the show, please post a review on iTunes! :-)

Thanks, again! Love you all!! Until next time… goodbye.