Winter Solstice & The Sexual Season of Winter

Permission to Be Enchanting

In this episode of Permission To Be Enchanting, Rachel explains the Celtic traditions of celebrating Yule and Winter Solstice (December 21st) to Clare, which leads to a discussion about female sexual seasons. The world covets an eternal Spring and Summer for our sexual season. It is what most romantic movies portray. But nature and relationships can’t live in perpetual Spring and Summer.

Human bodies, like plants and animals, live in cycles and require a season of rest in order to experience the next healthy Spring. Women need permission to embrace the sexual season of Winter as a time to go within, heal, rest, and focus on themselves without feeling shame.

Rachel believes that the season of Winter has beauty in its darkness and quiet.

The Celtic/Pagen tradition of Yule including Winter Solstice has been celebrated from as early as the neolithic period, which is the end of the Stone Age (10,000 BC) from historical digs and artifacts.

It is the tradition of Yule to bring greenery into your house (pine, Ivy, Holly, Mistletoe). On Winter Solstice you hang mistletoe above your front door to protect your family from misfortune AND above your bed to bring fertility (that’s more than kissing under the mistletoe!).

Holly represents the male and Ivy represented the female and the Holly and Ivy are weaved together to make the wreath.

Even though it is the longest night of the year, Winter Solstice is the tipping point where the Earth turns back towards the sun and the light returns. The sun is reborn. The Son is reborn.

Light is brought into the home and our hearts when the tree is lit, with candle lighting, and you're thinking about what you want to bring in the coming year. Trees are decorated with nuts and coins for prosperity.

Winter Sexual Season = Rest, a break from sex, and focus internally on self.

Autumn Sexual Season = Integration/healing, appreciating and/or grieving. Letting go of what is no longer needed.

Sex can be nourishing if it isn’t a performative act. Clare works with couples to take away the goal of orgasm during sexual play. This can lead to more creativity and less chance of going into autopilot during sex.

Autopilot does not equal mind-blowing sex.

The book by Emily Nagoski, Come As You Are, suggests telling your partner how long they could expect that you need a break from sex…. one month to a few months. It's about communicating your needs to your partner.

Rachel says that it's a gift to your partner to communicate and then they know what is going on.

Practically all women raise their hands (in workshops that Clare has attended) when asked if there were times when they had sex in their romantic relationship but really didn’t want to.

The definition of a sexless marriage is sex less than once per month or less than ten times per year. (Studies range from 15-30% of married couples are sexless).

Sex and intimacy are not the same things. There are intimacy exercises in Tantra called eye gazing and placing a hand over your partner’s heart while breathing together that can bring tears to participants because of the intimacy it creates.

Rachel was reminded of a time she was craving intimacy with her husband and she thought it was sexual, but in reality, it was their 15 minute daily walks outside, holding hands, and her being quiet, so Steven could talk, that filled her intimacy love bucket.

To get more info and sign up for our June 9-11, 2022 EPIC Workshops in Edinburgh, Scotland: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/epic-embodiment-pleasure-retreat-day-with-permission-to-be-enchanting-tickets-348636359737?aff=odcleoeventsincollection

Listen and enjoy! And share with a friend.

If you'd like to support the podcast, you can find us on Patreon or Buy Me A Coffee.

https://patreon.com/enchanting

https://buymeacoffee.com/enchanting

Find and follow us on Facebook.com/PermissionToBeEnchanting

and on Instagram.com/permission_podcast

Find Clare at EmpoweredEnchantress.com.

Find Rachel and her naked unfiltered selfies on IG at @rachel_shootsweet.