How Trauma Steals Our Power

Permission to Be Enchanting

Episode 10 How Trauma Steals Our Power

In this episode, Clare interviews somatic trauma healer and embodiment coach Marina Nabao about the ways trauma steals our healthy power. The three areas we discuss today are the stress response called “fawning”, the lack of healthy boundaries, and feeling “numb” regarding bodily sensations. Marina describes what the word “embodied” means and why it is important. Rachel is on a photoshoot and submitted her questions ahead of time.

Marina’s definition of trauma is “too much, too fast, too soon for your body to take in and for your body to integrate”. Trauma can be defined as big “T” trauma which includes serious injury, violent crimes, and life-threatening events. LITTLE “t” TRAUMA CAN BE A LIFETIME OF EVENTS such as non-life-threatening injuries, emotional abuse, harassment, and living a lifestyle with too many demands and too few resources.

It is rare, as a human being in the modern world, that you wouldn’t at a certain time experience the results of trauma. When your body perceives a threat, the stress response options are fight, flight, freeze, or fawn (appease).

Women tend to be socialized from a young age to appease and have not been exposed to the concept that fawning is a survival strategy.

Another part of unintegrated trauma is how it negatively affects our ability to have clear boundaries. Three steps of reclaiming boundaries are first recognizing that you have boundaries, second that you can feel the boundaries in your body, and third that you can honor your boundaries. The third step is often the most difficult and takes time and self-compassion.

Many women experience numbness and this is related to trauma. Marina reminds the listeners that it isn’t a conscious choice to feel numb and it is a sensation. Clare hears from her clients that they feel “broken” because they feel numb. CAN WE BE CURIOUS ABOUT THE NUMBNESS? WHAT IS ITS PURPOSE? WHAT IS UNDERNEATH THE NUMBNESS? Noticing is being curious.

Often the numbness is there because underneath the numbness there is pain, fear, and despair. So the numbness has a protective quality. Accepting and loving that numbness honors it and helps it feel more protected. And then when we love and accept those numb pieces of us, we can open the door to more.

All of the hustle of a constant “go mode” is translated as trauma in our nervous system. Burnout is a kind of trauma. The paradigm shift is to slow down, feel yourself, feel your body, feel your emotions. This is called Embodiment.

Embodiment is the process of intentionally coming back to your body, befriending your body, and noticing what is happening in your body. Embodiment helps you understand the impulses of your body. It helps you feel safer to love, be in a stable relationship or express your sexuality in a way that is more authentic. It helps you to be more present and connected with the earth.

*Marina Nabão is a somatic healer & embodiment coach. Find out more at marinanabao.com and follow her on IG @marinanabao

For books on the impact of trauma, Clare recommends, "What Happened to You?" by Dr. Bruce D. Perry & Oprah and "The Body Keeps the Score", by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

Information and sign up for our June 9-11 Workshops in Edinburgh, Scotland: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/epic-embodiment-pleasure-retreat-day-with-permission-to-be-enchanting-tickets-348636359737?aff=odcleoeventsincollection

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