trust the hindsight...

nicole loving earth podcast

In a moment of reflection I caught myself seeing the past five years as memory upon memory flooded through of where I was to where I am now. Not only where I have been in the physical sense, but also my maturity… emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

It’s funny isn’t it… one of the things I hear myself saying before becoming agitated is ‘will this matter to me in five years time?’ A perfect pause of whether I choose to let a situation affect me or not. Will it matter in five years time? What has happened and how have I changed over the past five years? What was soooo important to me five years ago that now no longer has a hold over me? What did I only see as a faraway dream before and now is my current reality?

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In the past five years I have opened my business, run group programs, group ceremony, served clients and students across the world, written a book, travelled across far away countries, lost my family, rebuilt relationships, found out who I am, who I am not, been led and provided for in my most darkest moments and still, here, I stand. Standing here now, I see that anything I can dream of has the opportunity to become my reality. Any single thing I set my intention towards has the chance of coming to fruition, that all that I thought was lost, can always find its way back to me. I see so clearly that all I was nervous about, all I did not think I was capable of, all that I felt held me back in any small or big way has simply dissolved.

What I have as the thought of what I want my work to evolve into is already here. It’s simply the way of the path of least resistance to where I wish to be.

How freeing.

This is a practice, not a perfect and as I find myself being stretched this way and that, challenged or opposed, we can feel when all is well, even good or easy… even for a moment and then we cautiously await the fuckening that is sure to happen. The moment it all blows up, changes, or challenges.

What if there was no reckoning? What if it was only to get better and better? What if there was no other shoe to drop?

Here I was seeing all that has unfolded for me in the past and what I put so much weight of importance upon, and what truly doesn’t matter, five years along.

Five years ago, covid was not even a thing. Five years ago we were all blissfully unaware of how the world would change, how we would change.

With writing free… most of what happened in the book was two, even three years ago. There has been an immense expanse of time and space in between, and I know how much I have even changed and grown since its release. Sometimes things take time to change, sometimes it’s a rapid growth and sometimes both are happening simultaneously.

I shared in my last writing about all this softness that had only opened deeper and deeper and I guess what I am seeing now is this strength with the softness.

The strength of my mind, my emotions, of knowing who I am.

No need to prove my worth to anyone anymore.

It’s like all of this pressure that we unconsciously carry about our day of how we are supposed to be, who we are supposed to be has fallen away. I don’t do what I do for external validation, I am very happy in my own skin, in my own space. I am super comfortable with silence, with my own company. I love my way of seeing the world, I love my own writing, I take such pleasure in my writing blooming. I don’t second guess my self, though I do let an idea or insight simmer away now rather than act quickly. I am so comfortable in knowing when something is finished, and when something is waiting for another ingredient to be added. Life experience plays a big part in my writing as I have a piece unfold, absolutely the next conversation, interaction, the next time I am sitting out in the surf, the answer or unfolding happens.

It’s an ease that comes easily when we no longer fear projections, another’s opinion of how we choose to live our life, no fear of another’s judgement. It’s like all of this validation we have sought perhaps our whole life ceases to be relevant. For those we have so keenly asked for validation from, perhaps they were not able to deliver from their own place of lack, insecurity, competition or comparison.

Validation I had come up in a meditation recently and this beautiful aspect of external validation was when it comes from such a clear, loving and pure place with crystal clear intentions, there is a celebration. And how then this type of validation opens the door to affection.

If we look at the origin of the word validation - valour, this is a courage which is shown in stepping outside of yourself to achieve more, and so the validation I see as a celebration of your courage. That is what we are seeking.

A celebration of us.

A celebration of our courage in being vulnerable. Of being more, of being greater than before. And what I have experienced is with this pure loving validation, guess what comes forward from me - Affection. Care. Nurture. My last writing here I spoke of how feeling safe allows me to soften deeper, what if validation expanded my feelings of affection?

For when we feel celebrated, seen, when we have that one person who believes in us, this allows us to spread our wings and fly. We feel we are able to accomplish anything. That nothing is out of our reach or scope. Our big dreams seem like obvious steps forward. When we have spent a lifetime looking for one person to believe in us, and it is delivered, we can feel like is this true? If all we have ever wanted is delivered to us, we can second guess the delivery. And then, it settles in, we see that yes, all we have wanted, wished for, prayed for is here for us. The surprise of how it is delivered, the surprise of the offer. This valour in being vulnerable has opened the door to affection.

Kind words and care are one thing, validation shows you from a true place that you matter, your voice matters, your words matter. The drawbridge and defences lower as you see you are finally safe to simply be… you.

Life has been an incredible journey of late, and if I am to look back upon the last five years and see all that has happened - all I feel is excitement for the next five years. For all we could wish for our lives, what if it was grander, larger, more rock n’ roll than anything we could ever imagine?

One thing is for sure, I believe in me, I believe in what I do, who I am, I trust and love myself deeply, so for anything else that comes my way, this is simply the cherry on top. And that, is the most freeing thing.

with so much love, nicole xxx

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Nicole Forrest is a writer and teacher of consciousness, spirituality, meditation, and metaphysics. She is here to open the hearts of the world through her words and energy. Poetic & lyrical, Nicole makes it easy to understand the complexities of our human existence, and in our greater universe. That unexplainable feeling of knowing, hair standing on the back of your neck, how does the concept of intuition or consciousness fit into our everyday life? How can we harness our infinite power and intelligence? This is Nicole’s playground and she welcomes you with the energy and spirit of the curious child seeing the world through the lens of wonder.

She is also a gifted channel, akashic reader and energetic practitioner based in sydney, aus

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