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Why PUAs lie about rejection
Manage episode 287065713 series 2439125
Main blog - https://mikemehlman.net/
Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/mikemehlman
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In this video I talk about why PUAs downplay rejection and over-emphasize positive outcomes in dating. One of the biggest reasons is insecurity tied to not recognizing that rejection is an inherent pillar of approach/dating and will never go away no matter what. It doesn't matter who the guy is. Rejection composes the overwhelming majority of cold approach and dating outcomes regardless of who you are, what you say, or what you do. This must be respected as intrinsic to the dating process. One guy who commented on my last video made a good analogy to baseball where he said, "Hitting 3 out of 10 gets you in the hall of fame." In other words, it's normal and expected that the player will usually not have a "positive outcome." This is no different with dating and comes down to respecting and internalizing rejection as normal and predictable. I don't want to make this post a debate about exact numerical figures and statistics. Guys will always have their differing views on what "good" numbers are, etc., and it's easy to get side-tracked with that. So instead it's better for me to inculcate the qualitative point that rejection will be the overwhelming majority of your interactions, full stop. *You can’t avoid rejection. And it will be most of your interactions. Guys who try to sell you on how to minimize or avoid rejection are pandering to your neediness and your hopes of avoiding mental pain. Because they know you’re weak and are desperate to side-step pain.* Anything in life that we want requires hard work and struggle. This applies probably most strongly to the dating process. Wouldn't it be great if we all just had a harem we're constantly sleeping with. Well if that were to happen, recognize that it requires you to approach hundreds of women per week + incur thousands upon thousands of rejections like it's your job. If the latter sounds exaggerated or unreasonable, consider that sleeping with multiple simultaneous plates also seems equally elusive to most guys. It's really not that complicated: high numbers of rejections as an input corresponds to few numbers of sexual outcomes as an output. So if you want high numbers of sexual outcomes as an output, you need an absurd number of rejections as an input. And then once you establish this within your mind as normal, an "absurd" number of rejections becomes predictable and not a big deal. My view is: in order to continue sleeping with various girls at my leisure, I need to continue to incur high volume of rejection, in perpetuity. There's no entitlement. *I don't sleep with large numbers of women because I'm special and don't get rejected. I sleep with large numbers of women because I get rejected all of the time.* Your hookups as an output are coupled to mandatory, no-questions-asked, high rejection volume as an input. If you aren't willing to incur repeated high-volume rejection, don't expect high numbers of sexual outcomes. Do you want me to tell you how to sleep with multiple women at the same time and have tons of sexual outcomes? I'm serious. I'm really going to tell you the secret right here. This will 100% work. The answer is:
Continue reading: https://mikemehlman.net/2021/01/10/why-puas-lie-about-rejection/
289 епізодів
Manage episode 287065713 series 2439125
Main blog - https://mikemehlman.net/
Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/mikemehlman
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mike_mehlman/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/mikemehlman.net
In this video I talk about why PUAs downplay rejection and over-emphasize positive outcomes in dating. One of the biggest reasons is insecurity tied to not recognizing that rejection is an inherent pillar of approach/dating and will never go away no matter what. It doesn't matter who the guy is. Rejection composes the overwhelming majority of cold approach and dating outcomes regardless of who you are, what you say, or what you do. This must be respected as intrinsic to the dating process. One guy who commented on my last video made a good analogy to baseball where he said, "Hitting 3 out of 10 gets you in the hall of fame." In other words, it's normal and expected that the player will usually not have a "positive outcome." This is no different with dating and comes down to respecting and internalizing rejection as normal and predictable. I don't want to make this post a debate about exact numerical figures and statistics. Guys will always have their differing views on what "good" numbers are, etc., and it's easy to get side-tracked with that. So instead it's better for me to inculcate the qualitative point that rejection will be the overwhelming majority of your interactions, full stop. *You can’t avoid rejection. And it will be most of your interactions. Guys who try to sell you on how to minimize or avoid rejection are pandering to your neediness and your hopes of avoiding mental pain. Because they know you’re weak and are desperate to side-step pain.* Anything in life that we want requires hard work and struggle. This applies probably most strongly to the dating process. Wouldn't it be great if we all just had a harem we're constantly sleeping with. Well if that were to happen, recognize that it requires you to approach hundreds of women per week + incur thousands upon thousands of rejections like it's your job. If the latter sounds exaggerated or unreasonable, consider that sleeping with multiple simultaneous plates also seems equally elusive to most guys. It's really not that complicated: high numbers of rejections as an input corresponds to few numbers of sexual outcomes as an output. So if you want high numbers of sexual outcomes as an output, you need an absurd number of rejections as an input. And then once you establish this within your mind as normal, an "absurd" number of rejections becomes predictable and not a big deal. My view is: in order to continue sleeping with various girls at my leisure, I need to continue to incur high volume of rejection, in perpetuity. There's no entitlement. *I don't sleep with large numbers of women because I'm special and don't get rejected. I sleep with large numbers of women because I get rejected all of the time.* Your hookups as an output are coupled to mandatory, no-questions-asked, high rejection volume as an input. If you aren't willing to incur repeated high-volume rejection, don't expect high numbers of sexual outcomes. Do you want me to tell you how to sleep with multiple women at the same time and have tons of sexual outcomes? I'm serious. I'm really going to tell you the secret right here. This will 100% work. The answer is:
Continue reading: https://mikemehlman.net/2021/01/10/why-puas-lie-about-rejection/
289 епізодів
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