S3E18 - Donovan, 46. San Diego

Fruitbowl: An Oral History of Queer Sex

As a kid, Donovan loved to dance and even took lessons beginning at age 9, but growing up in San Diego, he soon realized that the many military bases in the area fueled a toxic culture of masculinity and homophobia and any behavior outside the norm put a target on his back. Once, after seeing a movie, he was called a faggot and assaulted. So even though he had some early experimentation with same sex intimacy, he didn't officially come out until college.

Married now and living in Palm Springs, Donovan is in a committed, non-monogamous relationship but, even as an experienced lover, he still has had struggles with consent and standing up for himself. He describes one time when a partner didn't respect his boundaries.

Donovan has some great advice when it comes to hook ups, preferring connection over speed and convenience. Kissing and eye contact is sexy and - trust him - don't ever use Vaseline as lube.

Dave Pezzner, Assistant Editor & Mixer. Post-Production funding for this episode provided by Scruff Dating App. Thanks, Scruff!

FRUITBOWL is produced independently by creator Dave Quantic without corporate media support. Each interview is recorded in-person, on location in each interviewee’s home. Scruff’s support currently pays for a post-production assistant editor; however, there is still need for additional financial support for production expenses including travel, accommodations and equipment rental.

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