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Вміст надано Monique R. Shields. Весь вміст подкастів, включаючи епізоди, графіку та описи подкастів, завантажується та надається безпосередньо компанією Monique R. Shields або його партнером по платформі подкастів. Якщо ви вважаєте, що хтось використовує ваш захищений авторським правом твір без вашого дозволу, ви можете виконати процедуру, описану тут https://uk.player.fm/legal.
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39 | On People Pleasing

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Manage episode 431639996 series 3459665
Вміст надано Monique R. Shields. Весь вміст подкастів, включаючи епізоди, графіку та описи подкастів, завантажується та надається безпосередньо компанією Monique R. Shields або його партнером по платформі подкастів. Якщо ви вважаєте, що хтось використовує ваш захищений авторським правом твір без вашого дозволу, ви можете виконати процедуру, описану тут https://uk.player.fm/legal.

NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to her

In this live-recorded episode, we explore the pervasive issue of people-pleasing, its roots, impacts, and the paths to overcoming it.

This behavior, often rooted in a desire to be liked and accepted, can have profound impacts on both our personal and professional lives. Join me for personal stories, client experiences, and actionable steps to help you reclaim your voice and set healthier boundaries. Learning to love and accept ourselves, flaws and all, is a vital part of the journey towards breaking free from this behavior.

If you're ready to reclaim your voice, tune in to this enlightening episode. It's time to prioritize your own well-being and create a life that truly reflects who you are.

GEMS DROPPED

“People pleasing ​is ​symptomatic ​of ​feeling ​unseen, ​going ​for ​long ​periods ​of ​your ​life, ​probably ​in ​your ​youth, ​probably ​having ​to ​deal ​with ​some ​of ​our ​traumas, ​​where ​we've ​been ​unseen. “

“​I ​want ​to ​be ​really ​clear ​that ​people ​pleasing ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as​ being ​”weak”, ​or, not ​having ​a ​perspective ​or ​being passive. Some ​of ​the ​most ​hard ​hitting, ​ambitious, ​aggressive, ​in ​all ​the ​best ​ways, women ​that ​I ​know ​also ​identify ​as ​being ​people ​pleasers. ​Two ​things ​can ​be ​true ​at ​the ​same ​time, ​y'all. ​People ​pleasing ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as ​playing ​second ​fiddle ​and ​always ​taking ​a ​backseat.”

“You ​are ​in ​the ​driver's ​seat ​of ​the ​choices ​you ​make, ​no ​matter ​what ​choices ​you ​make. ​This ​podcast, ​Ambition ​Without Compromise, ​is ​about ​you ​designing ​what ​ambition ​looks ​like. ​And ​I ​think ​oftentimes ​when ​you ​really ​think ​about ​it, ​one ​of ​the ​most ​ambitious ​things, ​if ​I'm ​honest, ​that ​a ​black ​woman ​in ​this ​world ​could ​do ​is ​to ​decide ​against ​all ​odds ​that ​she ​is ​prioritizing ​just ​her ​basic ​well-​being ​over ​anything ​else. Over ​career, ​over ​accolades, ​over ​anything. ​And ​that ​could ​look ​a ​lot ​of ​different ​ways.”

“Our ​bodies ​are ​our ​bodies. We ​are ​still ​real ​flesh ​and ​blood ​human ​beings. ​We ​are ​not ​supernatural. ​We ​are ​not ​meant ​to ​take ​on ​all ​the ​burdens ​of ​the ​world. ​We ​have ​got ​to ​stop ​convincing ​ourselves ​that, ​like, ​I ​can ​hold ​it. ​ ​They're ​not ​built ​like ​me, ​so ​I ​guess ​I ​better ​handle ​it. ​Like, ​at ​some ​point, it ​will ​catch ​up ​with ​you. ​​1000% ​guaranteed and ​on ​that ​day, ​you ​won't ​be ​able ​to ​always ​just ​walk ​it ​back.”

“I ​think ​all ​of ​this ​boils ​down ​to a ​very ​fundamental ​need ​that ​all ​of ​us ​have ​as ​humans, ​which ​is ​unconditional ​love. It's ​like ​the ​ooey ​gooey ​center ​of ​it ​all. ​I'm ​talking ​about ​leadership. ​I'm ​talking ​about, ​you ​know, ​showing ​up ​in ​spaces ​and ​holding ​things ​and ​pleasing ​folks. ​And ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​investors, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​team, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​clients, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​parents, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​extended ​family, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​spouse, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​kids. ​Right? ​But ​when ​we ​operate ​like ​this, ​I ​think ​a ​big ​part ​of ​it ​is ​that ​we ​move ​into ​​circumstances, ​in ​general, ​in ​life, ​where ​we ​just ​don't ​expect ​unconditional ​love. ​We ​don't ​know ​what ​that ​looks ​like. ​We ​have ​not ​been ​taught ​that ​and ​not ​in ​a ​blanketed ​way. ​And ​it's ​what ​we ​crave ​most, ​where ​it's ​just ​like, ​I ​can ​be ​me ​and ​I'll ​still ​be ​accepted. ​I ​can ​want ​what ​I ​need ​too, and ​still ​be ​loved. I’m ​deserving ​of ​it ​all.”

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45 епізодів

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Manage episode 431639996 series 3459665
Вміст надано Monique R. Shields. Весь вміст подкастів, включаючи епізоди, графіку та описи подкастів, завантажується та надається безпосередньо компанією Monique R. Shields або його партнером по платформі подкастів. Якщо ви вважаєте, що хтось використовує ваш захищений авторським правом твір без вашого дозволу, ви можете виконати процедуру, описану тут https://uk.player.fm/legal.

NEW! Click here to text Monique directly with any thoughts, feels or feedback ... seriously, it goes directly to her

In this live-recorded episode, we explore the pervasive issue of people-pleasing, its roots, impacts, and the paths to overcoming it.

This behavior, often rooted in a desire to be liked and accepted, can have profound impacts on both our personal and professional lives. Join me for personal stories, client experiences, and actionable steps to help you reclaim your voice and set healthier boundaries. Learning to love and accept ourselves, flaws and all, is a vital part of the journey towards breaking free from this behavior.

If you're ready to reclaim your voice, tune in to this enlightening episode. It's time to prioritize your own well-being and create a life that truly reflects who you are.

GEMS DROPPED

“People pleasing ​is ​symptomatic ​of ​feeling ​unseen, ​going ​for ​long ​periods ​of ​your ​life, ​probably ​in ​your ​youth, ​probably ​having ​to ​deal ​with ​some ​of ​our ​traumas, ​​where ​we've ​been ​unseen. “

“​I ​want ​to ​be ​really ​clear ​that ​people ​pleasing ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as​ being ​”weak”, ​or, not ​having ​a ​perspective ​or ​being passive. Some ​of ​the ​most ​hard ​hitting, ​ambitious, ​aggressive, ​in ​all ​the ​best ​ways, women ​that ​I ​know ​also ​identify ​as ​being ​people ​pleasers. ​Two ​things ​can ​be ​true ​at ​the ​same ​time, ​y'all. ​People ​pleasing ​is ​not ​the ​same ​thing ​as ​playing ​second ​fiddle ​and ​always ​taking ​a ​backseat.”

“You ​are ​in ​the ​driver's ​seat ​of ​the ​choices ​you ​make, ​no ​matter ​what ​choices ​you ​make. ​This ​podcast, ​Ambition ​Without Compromise, ​is ​about ​you ​designing ​what ​ambition ​looks ​like. ​And ​I ​think ​oftentimes ​when ​you ​really ​think ​about ​it, ​one ​of ​the ​most ​ambitious ​things, ​if ​I'm ​honest, ​that ​a ​black ​woman ​in ​this ​world ​could ​do ​is ​to ​decide ​against ​all ​odds ​that ​she ​is ​prioritizing ​just ​her ​basic ​well-​being ​over ​anything ​else. Over ​career, ​over ​accolades, ​over ​anything. ​And ​that ​could ​look ​a ​lot ​of ​different ​ways.”

“Our ​bodies ​are ​our ​bodies. We ​are ​still ​real ​flesh ​and ​blood ​human ​beings. ​We ​are ​not ​supernatural. ​We ​are ​not ​meant ​to ​take ​on ​all ​the ​burdens ​of ​the ​world. ​We ​have ​got ​to ​stop ​convincing ​ourselves ​that, ​like, ​I ​can ​hold ​it. ​ ​They're ​not ​built ​like ​me, ​so ​I ​guess ​I ​better ​handle ​it. ​Like, ​at ​some ​point, it ​will ​catch ​up ​with ​you. ​​1000% ​guaranteed and ​on ​that ​day, ​you ​won't ​be ​able ​to ​always ​just ​walk ​it ​back.”

“I ​think ​all ​of ​this ​boils ​down ​to a ​very ​fundamental ​need ​that ​all ​of ​us ​have ​as ​humans, ​which ​is ​unconditional ​love. It's ​like ​the ​ooey ​gooey ​center ​of ​it ​all. ​I'm ​talking ​about ​leadership. ​I'm ​talking ​about, ​you ​know, ​showing ​up ​in ​spaces ​and ​holding ​things ​and ​pleasing ​folks. ​And ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​investors, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​team, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​clients, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​parents, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​extended ​family, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​spouse, ​you ​gotta ​please ​your ​kids. ​Right? ​But ​when ​we ​operate ​like ​this, ​I ​think ​a ​big ​part ​of ​it ​is ​that ​we ​move ​into ​​circumstances, ​in ​general, ​in ​life, ​where ​we ​just ​don't ​expect ​unconditional ​love. ​We ​don't ​know ​what ​that ​looks ​like. ​We ​have ​not ​been ​taught ​that ​and ​not ​in ​a ​blanketed ​way. ​And ​it's ​what ​we ​crave ​most, ​where ​it's ​just ​like, ​I ​can ​be ​me ​and ​I'll ​still ​be ​accepted. ​I ​can ​want ​what ​I ​need ​too, and ​still ​be ​loved. I’m ​deserving ​of ​it ​all.”

STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on I

  continue reading

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