029 | Say ”No” Gracefully - The art of saying no

Women of Faith in Leadership - Kingdom Leadership, Workplace Organisational culture, Christian women

Sometimes it's just really difficult to say no, especially to those individuals who are good at persuading us to do things we know we shouldn't say yes to.

In this episode, I discuss ways you can say no when someone confronts you with a questions and I offer some bonus tips.

In the moment

1. Pause and Breathe: When caught off guard, it's essential to take a moment to collect your thoughts. A deep breath can help. This brief pause allows you to respond thoughtfully.
2. Buy Time: You can say something like, "Let me check my schedule and get back to you," or "I'll need to see if I can fit that in. I'll let you know." This approach gives you time to evaluate the request.
3. Express Gratitude: Start your response with gratitude. For example, "I appreciate you thinking of me for this, but..."
4. Use "I" Statements: Frame your response in terms of your own limitations or priorities. Say something like, "I have other commitments that prevent me from taking on additional tasks right now."
5. Set Boundaries: Gently but firmly establish your boundaries. You can say, "I've committed to focusing on my current projects, and I can't take on anything more."
6. Be Clear and Concise: Keep your response simple and to the point. Long explanations can lead to misunderstandings. For example, "I can't, I'm fully booked with my current projects."
7. Stay Firm: Don't apologise for excessively or over-explain. Be confident in your response.
8. Offer Alternatives: If you're unable to help directly, suggest other potential solutions or colleagues who might assist. This shows your willingness to be helpful even when you can't take on the task.
9. Hold Your Ground: If the requester persists, it's crucial to maintain your position. You can reaffirm your boundaries and explain that you're not in a position to help.

Other Tips

• Practice: Practice saying no with a trusted friend or colleague. This can help build confidence for real-life situations.
• Learn From Experience: After each situation where you've had to say no, reflect on it. What went well? What could you have done better? Use each experience as a learning opportunity.
• Support Network: Seek support from a mentor or colleague experienced in setting boundaries. They can provide guidance and encouragement.
• Visual Cues: In a face-to-face conversation, body language can help convey your message. Maintain good eye contact and use a calm, steady tone.
• Non-Verbal Responses: Sometimes, a polite shake of the head or a gesture of holding up your hand can signify that you can't take on the task right now.
• Learn Phrases: Memorise polite phrases for declining tasks. For example, "I'm sorry, but I can't commit to that at the moment."

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Next steps:

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I look forward to chatting with you in the next episode. Make sure you don't miss it!