215 - A Real Challenge

TRANSFORM YOUR EMUNAH!

We've discussed the daily mitzvah to recite the parashas hamann and how the Torah commentaries teach that the main purpose behind reciting that Torah passage is to imbue in us Hashem's true perspective, which is apparently different to what meets the eye. In our eyes, we see a direct correlation between our efforts to make money and the money that we receive. However, as we learnt in the Mesillas Yesharim chapter 21, sustenance comes exclusively from Hashem and the only reason we need to work is to live out the curse that was decreed on mankind when Adam disobeyed Hashem's command and ate from the tree. And as the Mesillas Yesharim taught us, we are to constantly be mindful that our efforts are a tax that have no correlation to the results that they might seem to produce.

As we've discussed many times, there are many levels to what it means to have emunah and bitachon, and this certainly applies to the area of parnassah - of sustenance. Although the highest level might be to internalize to such a degree that my efforts have absolutely nothing to do with the sustenance that Hashem sends me, however, as always, the reason we are learning these passages is to teach us where we are to aim, and Hashem is very proud of us and happy with us if we are just doing the best that we can.

"Hashem, my Father, thank You for teaching me that You are my sole provider, to the point that You don't need me to make any personal efforts whatsoever. Hashem, please help me to internalize the truth of Your perspective, that my parnassah - my sustenance, comes exclusively from You, and the exact amount that You want me to have, in the exact form that You want me to receive it, is determined exclusively by You. The extent of Your involvement in sending me my sustenance today is no different to how it was when You would send people man from the heavens. The only difference, Hashem, is that because of the curse that You placed on mankind, we are obligated to make our own efforts, and it now seems like if we don't make an effort, we will not receive our sustenance.

And granted, Hashem, that I am therefore obligated to fulfill this mitzvah of making an effort, but please, Hashem, help me to take to heart the words of the Mesillas Yesharim and other Torah commentaries that we've learned, that the efforts that I make have absolutely nothing to do with the sustenance that I receive. And Hashem, I know You don't expect me to be more than I can be, and it is very hard to go to work and imagine that the work that I'm doing is actually not helping me to bring in my sustenance, but rather I'm just going to work to fulfill the mitzvah of performing hishtadlus. Hashem, I'm asking You to help me grow more and more each day, to live with more sincerity by the values of emunah, that You exclusively are my provider, and it is not me. God forbid, Hashem, I don't want to fall into the trap of idol worship in our day and age, where I might be led to believe that it is not You exclusively who provides for me, but rather my efforts help me bring in my sustenance.

And just like in times of old, the forms of idol worship that were available to people was a real challenge, because people were able to go practice a certain magical procedure, and by doing so, would receive the sustenance or other needs that they might have needed. And similarly, in today's times, it makes it quite challenging that You have commanded us to fulfill the mitzvah to make our own efforts - to perform hishtadlus, because it is so difficult to divorce my efforts from the sustenance that I receive, when it seems so apparently obvious that if I don't go to work, You have no way to provide for me. Of course, I am obligated to fulfill the mitzvah and go to work, but if I might be sick, or when I might not be able to perform my hishtadlus for whatever other reason, please Hashem help me to then feel completely calm, that I am not worse off whatsoever, because You, Hashem, are my exclusive provider."