Unifying Support: Nurturing Cohesion Among Moms of Autistics

Thriving Moms of Autistics

Hi Moms! Is it challenging to build a supportive community that lasts in your autism journey? Parents of autistics face many challenges, which arise from the unique demands of raising an autistic, the diverse experiences and needs of group members, as well as external factors outside of the group.

The additional pressures can be overwhelming for moms, who are already saddled with an abundance of stressors.

In this episode, I explore ways to shift these group dynamics for the better and achieve the group cohesiveness that you all deserve.

Find the full transcript for this episode at http://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/44

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you!

Factors Influencing Group Cohesiveness Among Moms of Autistics

Sometimes moms think it is impossible to surround themselves with a well-rounded supportive group of others that get autism.

It’s not impossible. I’ve done it, and others have done it too. The glue that holds the group together isn’t the fact that you all have the shared experience of autism. That alone is not enough.

However, that is the point of coming together, but it takes more than that.

As moms of autistics, we learn powerful lessons along the way of how personal judgments impact others, assumptions are harmful, and that empathy is essential.

These are values we carry because we have been on the negative side of these experiences. It never feels good. It’s never helpful. So, why would we do that to others?

Sadly, it happens. Other characteristics get in the way of group cohesiveness as well.

Negative Influences Hindering the Effectiveness of Support Groups for Moms of Autistics

There are a variety of factors that can impact the effectiveness of a group. I am going to give three examples that damage a group but will also offer solutions for each that will strengthen a group.

1) Inflexibility – While many moms of autistics learn to be very flexible to help their children, not everyone achieves that level of flexibility. There are many reasons why that might be, but that is for a different podcast.

We all struggle with change on some level. Some struggle more than others. The goal is to grow together. That cannot happen when one is unwilling to consider the greater impact of their own destructive decision making that impacts their own situation and that of others.

Solution – You can’t change others, but they can choose to change themselves. There will be personality quirks within a group. That is completely different.

Successful supportive groups for moms of autistics provide emotional support for one another through the use of attunement. This means that we emotionally connect and validate one another.

Offering Band-Aids to help your peers won’t last. Hijacking the conversation with your own needs distracts from the current conversation and your peers’ needs get lost in the process.

There will be time to explore your needs once your friend feels heard and has their own opportunity to vent.

2) Miscommunication – Communication is key in any relationship. People need to feel heard. Moms of autistics have a lot to say given their stress levels.

It is important to allow one another to vent. Otherwise, members might not have the outlet they need if someone takes up most of the time focusing on their own needs. This can destroy a group and cause conflict withing the group.

Solution – When others are hurting, we might try to rescue them. Their despair can remind us of our own challenges. We don’t want them to struggle and are desperate to help.

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