Dr. Becky Kennedy — Parenting Strategies For Raising Resilient Kids, Plus Word-for-Word Scripts For Repairing Relationships, Setting Boundaries, And More (#784) The Tim Ferriss Show Archives

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Dr. Becky Kennedy — Parenting Strategies for Raising Resilient Kids, Plus Word-for-Word Scripts for Repairing Relationships, Setting Boundaries, and More (#784)

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“This feels hard because it is hard, not because I’m doing something wrong.”
— Dr. Becky Kennedy

Dr. Becky Kennedy (@DrBeckyAtGoodInside) is the founder and CEO of Good Inside, a parenting movement that disrupts conventional parenting practices by empowering parents to become sturdy, confident leaders and raise sturdy, confident kids. Good Inside currently has members across more than 100 countries and millions of followers across social media platforms, including nearly 3M followers on Instagram alone. Good Inside released a mobile app that serves as a “24/7 parenting coach,” offering personalized, age-based support and an AI Chatbot trained on Dr. Becky’s entire library of content.

Dr. Becky is also behind the #1 New York Times bestselling book Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, a chart-topping podcast, a TED talk with nearly 4 million views on the power of repair, and an upcoming children’s book, That’s My Truck! A Good Inside Story About Hitting.

Please enjoy!

This episode is brought to you by GiveWell.org charity research and effective giving, Wealthfront high-yield cash account, and AG1 all-in-one nutritional supplement.

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Podcast Addict, Pocket Casts, Castbox, YouTube Music, Amazon Music, Audible, or on your favorite podcast platform. Watch the interview on YouTube here.

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#784: Dr. Becky Kennedy — Parenting Strategies for Raising Resilient Kids, Plus Word-for-Word Scripts for Repairing Relationships, Setting Boundaries, and More

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Tim Ferriss receives cash compensation from Wealthfront Brokerage, LLC for advertising and holds a non-controlling equity interest in the corporate parent of Wealthfront Brokerage. See full disclosures here.

Want to hear another podccast episode that focuses on education and the intricacies of parenting? Listen to my conversation with New York Times bestselling author Jessica Lahey in which we discussed confidence vs. competence when trying to foster a child’s self-esteem, why instilling hope in a child is so crucial to their lifelong well-being, books and activities that keep Jessica aligned along the path of hope and optimism, advice for parents who get the dreaded phone call that their child has been caught up in non-ideal behavior, and much more.

What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Connect with Dr. Becky Kennedy:

SHOW NOTES

[00:06:49] The power of repair.
[00:09:44] “It’s never your fault when I yell at you.”
[00:13:49] What does it mean to be a “good” parent?
[00:15:26] Activating curiosity over judgment.
[00:18:27] Alternatives to saying “Good job” as a confidence builder.
[00:23:16] Making kids happy vs. building capability.
[00:26:44] A pilot metaphor for sturdy leadership.
[00:31:56] Role confusion.
[00:34:30] Defining boundaries.
[00:38:44] How parenting becomes a two-way mirror for growth.
[00:43:46] The MGI (Most Generous Interpretation) approach.
[00:46:29] Biggest challenges in parenting.
[00:50:29] Recommended reading for someone with kids in their life.
[00:55:49] Advisable prerequisites for singles who aim to build a family.
[00:59:55] Setting boundaries with grandparents and dealing with different parenting styles.
[01:05:18] Handling frustration when a child is pushing your buttons.
[01:13:35] Lessons learned from working with eating disorders.
[01:17:03] Managing troublemaker behavior.
[01:21:14] Bad influence intervention.
[01:26:28] Cultivating resilience in “deeply feeling” kids (DFKs).
[01:32:35] The trials and errors that birthed Good Inside.
[01:36:30] “Our words are not our wishes. Our words are our fears.”
[01:43:44] Billboard messages and mantras.
[01:51:37] Fan-favorite scripts on saying no, boundaries, and repair.
[01:54:52] The tennis court metaphor for boundaries.
[01:59:22] Resources and parting thoughts.

MORE DR. BECKY KENNEDY QUOTES FROM THE INTERVIEW

“Parenting doesn’t come naturally. The only thing that comes naturally is how you were parented. … It would be like a doctor saying, ‘I didn’t go to medical school. I have surgical instinct.'”
— Dr. Becky Kennedy

“What scares you does not scare me. … What a sturdy leader really does is they say to you, ‘I see what’s happening for you. I see your feelings as real and your feelings don’t overwhelm me.'”
— Dr. Becky Kennedy

“This feels hard because it is hard, not because I’m doing something wrong.”
— Dr. Becky Kennedy

“Parenting doesn’t come naturally. The only thing that comes naturally is how you were parented.”
— Dr. Becky Kennedy

“We were never meant to parent on instinct alone.”
— Dr. Becky Kennedy

“When we’re completely out of control and overwhelmed and we scream things out in that state, our words are not our wishes. Our words are our fears.”
— Dr. Becky Kennedy

“Do not deprive my child of finding their capability. Do not steal it. Do not steal their capability. A kid doesn’t feel capable when they do something easy.”
— Dr. Becky Kennedy

“Kids develop capability after watching themselves survive something that was really difficult and just get through it.”
— Dr. Becky Kennedy

“Our body has this remarkable way to act out conflict if we don’t kind of understand it and resolve it.”
— Dr. Becky Kennedy

“The most under-utilized strategy in parenting, and this sounds like a joke, but I do want to name it to make it official, is doing nothing.”
— Dr. Becky Kennedy

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