056 - Narcissistic Abuse: Recognizing the Signs and Running Toward Freedom with Vanessa Reiser

The Gaslight Effect

On this episode, Dr. Robin Stern talks with Vanessa Reiser. Vanessa is a licensed clinical social worker, an expert on narcissistic abuse, the author of Narcissistic Abuse, and the founder of a teletherapy and life coaching practice that’s changing lives by helping people heal from the trauma of narcissistic relationships.

Vanessa’s personal journey is one of resilience and empowerment. After growing up in a household filled with instability and facing trauma from a young age, Vanessa found herself in a relationship with 'Real Wives of New Jersey' star Luis Ruelas, whom Vanessa described as a 'malignant, covert, passive-aggressive narcissist.' This relationship was filled with gaslighting, manipulation, and isolation—classic tactics of a narcissist designed to distort reality and erode the victim’s sense of self.

She broke free from this toxic cycle, and today, she dedicates her life to helping others do the same. She brought attention to narcissistic dometic abuse by running across NY State in a wedding dress.

In her book, Narcissistic Abuse, Vanessa breaks down the full range of tactics narcissists use, from gaslighting to love bombing, hoovering, and triangulating. She shows how these behaviors, which are often difficult to recognize, are part of a broader pattern of emotional abuse. Narcissistic abuse, as Vanessa emphasizes, is a form of domestic violence—one that leaves lasting psychological scars. Her book provides strategies for identifying, escaping, and healing from these toxic relationships, empowering victims to reclaim their lives.

Vanessa also operates a teletherapy and life coaching practice, where she guides survivors of narcissistic abuse toward healing and self-discovery. She helps clients recognize the gaslighting and manipulation they've endured, clarify their goals, and overcome the obstacles holding them back. Vanessa’s unique approach combines her clinical expertise with tailored life coaching techniques, helping people rebuild their confidence and manifest the life they deserve.

Today, we’ll explore Vanessa’s story, her expertise on gaslighting and narcissistic abuse, and how her coaching practice helps survivors reclaim their power.

To read the full transcript of this episode, head over to robinstern.com.

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Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links:

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Dr. Robin Stern's Books:

The Gaslight Effect

The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide

Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders

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