18. 11 Years, 11 Lessons: From Rejection to Reflection after Divorce
Manage episode 392282164 series 3505282
Hey there, over here diving into Twixtmas and hoping you had a peaceful Christmas.
This time between the holidays is magical for reflection, and I've always loved it. Back when I was married, those days when the kids and the ex were away, and I had the house to myself – it was almost better than Christmas! But then 2012 hit, and after a horrendous Christmas, I walked out on 28 of December.
Unexpectedly, that became a blessing in disguise, and now, 11 years later, I want to share 11 key lessons I've learned.
Lessons Learned:
1. Being Rejected is Not the End
- I spent years fearing rejection, tying it to my worth. Turns out, rejection is redirection. It led me out of a toxic marriage into a happier life.
2. You Can't Change Other People:
- No matter how much I searched for reasons behind the divorce, I couldn't change him. People show who they are; my ex-husband was always going to be who he was.
3. Own Your Shit:
- The hardest lesson was owning my part, shifting from victim to taking responsibility. It's the third step in my Blossom Method.
4. Heal Before Dating:
- Jumping into the dating pool too soon led to ‘encounters’ with all sorts. It’s not a clear water dating pool….
5. No Need for External Validation:
- External validation used to be everything. Now, I've learned to find validation within, realizing I'm complete on my own.
6. Solo Holidays are Cool:
- Discovering the joy of holidaying alone was unexpected. Embracing independence and enjoying my own company turned out to be pretty amazing.
7. Knowing When to Throw Down the Anchor:
- Picture sailing through life, hit by a storm. Learning to throw down the anchor, finding stability amidst chaos, was a game-changer.
8. Trust Your Gut:
- Trusting my gut was a tough lesson. I knew something was off in my marriage, but I doubted myself (as did everyone else). Always trust your gut; it's been my compass ever since.
9. I love Sleeping Alone:
- Surprisingly, sleeping alone became a love affair. No snoring, no farting – just me and my abundant AF bed.
10. Divorce is Not Shameful:
- Overcoming the stigma attached to divorce was liberating. It's not shameful, and I won't let societal judgments define my journey.
11. Breath by Breath, Step by Step:
- Taking life one breath, one step at a time is how I moved forward after divorce. It's about showing up for yourself every day, gradually blossoming into the next chapter.
So, there you have it – 11 lessons from 11 years post-divorce. I'm grateful for the empowerment and contentment I've found. If you've got your own lessons or thoughts, shoot me a message. Let's keep this conversation going.
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