001: Introduction To Self-Worth

From No Worth To Self-Worth

Studies suggest that low Self-Esteem can lead to a tendency toward drugs or alcohol consumption. It’s known that there is a cause-and-effect relationship between low Self-Esteem and addiction. The question is, which came first, the chicken or the egg? It’s hard to tell which is the cause and which is the effect. Is the addiction a result of low Self-Esteem, or is the low Self-Esteem a result of addiction? In some cases, having low Self-Esteem may be one of the reasons a person begins to abuse drugs or alcohol in the first place. In other cases, maybe they started out with good Self-Esteem, but addiction and its consequences damaged their ability to love themselves.

Self-Worth becomes a common denominator in this situation. A parent may be outwardly successful and happy, but inside they are doubting themselves and blaming themselves for poor choices their child has made, some leading to addiction.

There is not a parent on Earth that cannot instantly recall an incident in the past where they lost their temper with their child over something inconsequential, a time when they weren’t where they should have been to protect their child, a time when they didn’t follow the promptings they were feeling, or a time when they were completely out of control and the repercussions hit directly on the mental health of their child.

These situations often happen when the child is young or during the early teenage years, but it can literally happen at any time. The stress and reality of life are often the catalyst for a parent’s lack of attention and time. It doesn’t mean they don’t love their child; it means they are not equipped to deal with their own anxiety and the pressures of life, and they unintentionally transfer their emotions to their children, either through their absence, or their reactionary communications. As a result, the child becomes unsure, feels unsafe, and is starving for approval, support, connection, and security. When the parent cannot, or does not, provide these needs, a child’s sense of Self-Worth dissipates quickly. Just like the parent, the child will put on a good show outwardly, but inside, they are crying, unsure, and doubting themselves. As they look outside the home for a place to belong, they are often drawn to groups of kids who are also suffering from abandonment, abuse, or neglect.

The Self-Worth of both parents and children takes a hit when they are young, when they are hurting, and battling Mental Health issues. Thus, begins the downward spiral for the entire family.

Self-Love, Self-Esteem, and Self-Worth play a critical role in the choices we make throughout our lives. Connection and acceptance by one group over another also directly affects our choices. All humans want to be loved, accepted, and connected. If drugs and alcohol, and those associated with these actions, appear to be the only way to meet those needs, for a damaged soul it can be difficult to resist joining the group.

In this crazy world we live in, filled with both heroes and villains, love and hate, daisies and cocaine, it’s important to love ourselves enough that we are willing to do the work, to stand up for ourselves, to believe in ourselves, and to make good choices.

• One out of every five (20.2%) students report being bullied. (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019)
• A higher percentage of male than of female students report being physically bullied (6% vs. 4%), whereas a higher percentage of female than of male students reported being the subjects of rumors (18% vs. 9%) and being excluded from activities on purpose (7% vs. 4%). (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019)
• Of those students who reported being bullied, 13% were made fun of, called names, or insulted; 13% were the subject of rumors; 5% were pushed, shoved, tripped, or spit on; and 5% were excluded from activities on purpose. (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019)
• Bullied students reported that bullying occurred in the following places: the hallway or stairwell at school (43%), inside the classroom (42%), in the cafeteria (27%), outside on school grounds (22%), online or by text (15%), in the bathroom or locker room (12%), and on the school bus (8%). (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2019)
• According to a recent study, the absolute number of suicide deaths increased by 6.7% from 762,000 to 817,000 annually between 1990 and 2016, while age-standardized suicide rates fell by a third. Worldwide, the rates in 2016 were about 16 deaths per 100,000 men and 7 deaths per 100,000 women: women also experienced a greater decrease compared with men over the study period. (Global Burden of Disease Study)
• Suicide was the tenth leading cause of death overall in the United States, claiming the lives of over 48,000 people. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) WISQARS Leading Causes of Death Reports)
• Suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34, and the fourth leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 35 and 54. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) WISQARS Leading Causes of Death Reports)
• There were more than two and a half times as many suicides (48,344) in the United States as there were homicides (18,830). (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) WISQARS Leading Causes of Death Reports)

If you have doubts, please look in the mirror every single day and remind yourself, “I am enough. I have value. I am loved, and I love me.” If you are tempted to make the wrong choice, please call a friend, call your sponsor, call someone. Please make a better choice, not just for you, but for generations after you, too. They are watching your example.

Suicide Hotline: [phone]-TALK (8255)

STOP Bullying Now Hotline: [phone]

National Domestic Violence Hotline: [phone]-SAFE

National Sexual Assault Hotline: [phone]-HOPE

National Human Trafficking Hotline: [phone]

National General Mental Health Hotlines: https://www.pleaselive.org/hotlines/

Stop Abuse Resource: https://www.stopitnow.org/

Military Helplines: https://www.tricare.mil/CoveredServices/Mental/CrisisLines

SAMHSA: https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/

*This is not an inclusive list but these hotlines and online resources are available for those suffering, and for those who are tired of watching a loved one suffer. PLEASE use this resource and know that you are NOT alone!

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