40. Understanding Consent: What It Really Means and Why It Matters

Sex And Money With Jess

Hello, hello, hello! Today, we’re diving deep into a topic that's not always black and white, but so important: consent. If you've ever wondered about what consent really entails, especially in intimate moments, this episode will give you an insightful overview. Here’s what we talked about:

Understanding Consent

Consent goes beyond a simple yes or no—it’s a complex and layered concept. We broke it down into four parts:

1. Capacity: Are you and your partner of sound mind to make a clear decision? This involves checking in on things like sobriety and mental state to ensure that both of you can confidently say yes or no.

2. Information: Clear communication about what you want to do. Expressing your desires explicitly helps your partner feel comfortable and informed, giving them the chance to say yes, no, or maybe at any point.

3. Agreement & Boundaries: Consent isn’t just about agreeing once—it’s about setting boundaries and getting consistent buy-in. We explored why discussing boundaries, hard limits, and flexibility throughout your time together is essential for mutual respect and pleasure.

4. Autonomy: Everyone has the inherent right to control their own body, mind, and spirit. Consent is about respecting this autonomy, recognizing that we can only control our actions and feelings, not those of another person.

Key Points to Remember:

- Consent is continuous: Before, during, and even after intimacy, consent can be revisited. It’s okay to change your mind.

- Communication isn’t unsexy: Some of us worry that asking for consent in the moment feels awkward or “kills the vibe.” But many people find it empowering and even a turn-on when their partner checks in with them.

- Respecting each other's boundaries: Rejection can sting, but remember that a “no” isn’t about you personally—it’s about ensuring everyone feels safe and comfortable.

- Make the implicit explicit: Never assume silence means agreement. A genuine yes should always be clear and enthusiastic.

- Respect each other’s right to say no: Both you and your partner have the right to set boundaries. And if a boundary means stopping, then stopping is the best thing you can do.

Consent is about going with your feelings (literally—con + sent means "with feeling"). It's a practice that respects everyone’s right to control their own experience. Let’s keep having these conversations, respecting each other’s boundaries, and creating safe, empowering spaces for intimacy.

Connect with Jess

Website: www.lovealwaysjess.com/getstarted

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