Squid Game is back—and this time, the knives are out. In the thrilling Season 3 premiere, Player 456 is spiraling and a brutal round of hide-and-seek forces players to kill or be killed. Hosts Phil Yu and Kiera Please break down Gi-hun’s descent into vengeance, Guard 011’s daring betrayal of the Game, and the shocking moment players are forced to choose between murdering their friends… or dying. Then, Carlos Juico and Gavin Ruta from the Jumpers Jump podcast join us to unpack their wild theories for the season. Plus, Phil and Kiera face off in a high-stakes round of “Hot Sweet Potato.” SPOILER ALERT! Make sure you watch Squid Game Season 3 Episode 1 before listening on. Play one last time. IG - @SquidGameNetflix X (f.k.a. Twitter) - @SquidGame Check out more from Phil Yu @angryasianman , Kiera Please @kieraplease and the Jumpers Jump podcast Listen to more from Netflix Podcasts . Squid Game: The Official Podcast is produced by Netflix and The Mash-Up Americans.…
Player FM - Internet Radio Done Right
Checked 3M ago
Додано five роки тому
Вміст надано Clear View Retreat. Весь вміст подкастів, включаючи епізоди, графіку та описи подкастів, завантажується та надається безпосередньо компанією Clear View Retreat або його партнером по платформі подкастів. Якщо ви вважаєте, що хтось використовує ваш захищений авторським правом твір без вашого дозволу, ви можете виконати процедуру, описану тут https://uk.player.fm/legal.
Player FM - додаток Podcast
Переходьте в офлайн за допомогою програми Player FM !
Переходьте в офлайн за допомогою програми Player FM !
))
Подкасти, які варто послухати
РЕКЛАМА
Five Minute Family
Відзначити всі (не)відтворені ...
Manage series 2854850
Вміст надано Clear View Retreat. Весь вміст подкастів, включаючи епізоди, графіку та описи подкастів, завантажується та надається безпосередньо компанією Clear View Retreat або його партнером по платформі подкастів. Якщо ви вважаєте, що хтось використовує ваш захищений авторським правом твір без вашого дозволу, ви можете виконати процедуру, описану тут https://uk.player.fm/legal.
Your family matters. And, it is in the random minutes throughout the day when you can show just how much you love them. Five Minute Family is a quick five-minute podcast to give you encouragement, ideas, and biblical wisdom to get you motivated to begin investing five minutes a day (that snowball into more and more minutes) to transform your family life.
…
continue reading
200 епізодів
Поширити
Відзначити всі (не)відтворені ...
Manage series 2854850
Вміст надано Clear View Retreat. Весь вміст подкастів, включаючи епізоди, графіку та описи подкастів, завантажується та надається безпосередньо компанією Clear View Retreat або його партнером по платформі подкастів. Якщо ви вважаєте, що хтось використовує ваш захищений авторським правом твір без вашого дозволу, ви можете виконати процедуру, описану тут https://uk.player.fm/legal.
Your family matters. And, it is in the random minutes throughout the day when you can show just how much you love them. Five Minute Family is a quick five-minute podcast to give you encouragement, ideas, and biblical wisdom to get you motivated to begin investing five minutes a day (that snowball into more and more minutes) to transform your family life.
…
continue reading
200 епізодів
Усі епізоди
×
Good morning, Five Minute Families. How are you doing today? Do you have running water? Indoor plumbing? A roof over your head? A meal today? 23 out of every 10,000 Americans have experienced homelessness, and over 11% of Americans are living below the poverty level. What do we do if we find our family is experiencing a financial crisis? In 2 Kings, we read about a widow whose children would be taken into slavery in order to pay the family’s debts. This was standard practice back then. But, what family would ever want to be broken up simply for trying to live? Obviously, that is not standard practice today, but finding ourselves in tough financial times can happen to any family. So, let’s discuss five steps we need to take based on 2 Kings 4:1-7 (paraphrased slightly for time’s sake) [The widow] cried out to Elisha, “My God-fearing husband has died. Now, the creditor is coming to take my two children as his slaves.” Elisha asked her, “What can I do for you? Tell me, what do you have in the house?” She said, “Your servant has nothing in the house except a jar of oil.” Then he said, “Go out and borrow empty containers from all your neighbors. Do not get just a few. Then go in and shut the door behind you and your sons, and pour oil into all these containers. Set the full ones to one side.” So she left. After she had shut the door behind her and her sons, they kept bringing her containers, and she kept pouring. When they were full, she said to her son, “Bring me another container.” But he replied, “There aren’t any more.” Then the oil stopped. She went and told the man of God, and he said, “Go sell the oil and pay your debt; you and your sons can live on the rest.” So, what can we learn from this story? First, appeal to God. The widow appealed to God’s prophet Elisha, but we have the privilege of going directly to our heavenly Father. Bring your prayers and outpouring of fear, concerns, and frustrations to the Lord. He can handle hearing all of it, even if it is from a situation you or someone in your family created. Second, be willing to use what you already have. Sometimes, God drops manna from heaven because He knows we have no resources. And, other times, He will expect us to be aware of our current blessings and abilities, so mark them all down. Leave nothing out. Maybe you are great at cleaning the house as a family. Ask your church if they need extra hands for the cleaning crew. If your church can’t pay, maybe then your kids can attend camp at no cost. You get the idea. Third, humble yourselves. Specifically, realize that you may need to ask for help. The widow and her sons asked all their neighbors for their vessels. By asking, they had to admit to these people that they were in need. While we may want to keep our financials in the dark, the reality is that if we are going to trust God, sometimes, we have to open our lives up to others’ awareness. Fourth, wherever the Lord leads your family to work, barter, or get help, put your full effort into it – in front of and behind the scenes. The widow and her sons were the only ones who knew what was happening behind the scenes. And, that is ok. In fact, it is good. We don’t need to always live in a spotlight. We want God to be the one to get the glory, not ourselves. Fifth, expect that God will do more than you expected. The oil kept pouring, so the widow asked for another vessel. And, she didn’t know what the oil filling was for. She did each step without knowing what the full detailed outcome would be but she trusted in the Lord, nonetheless. Not only did God’s provision cover debt, it gave this family the opportunity to stay together and have something to live on. If these five steps don’t apply to you because you are not a family in need at this time, pay attention for signs that someone around you might be in need. Be approachable. Don’t just try to throw money at the problem. Maybe mom or dad needs help writing a quality resume. Maybe they need a cooked meal delivered with all the fixin’s and drinks, big enough for leftovers, to ease a bit of the scheduling burden and give them a bit of breathing room. Listen and try to point out their talents and what they do have while praying for God to move. Being in a tough financial spot as a family can be challenging, but if you stand together, work together, and pray together, God can and will see you through it. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Have you ever thought about what you are going to do when you just don’t want to do anything anymore? Now, we are not talking about wanting your life to end. If you are having those thoughts, please seek help immediately. We are talking here about when you just don’t feel like doing the stuff you know you have to do. You stop liking the direction of your work, the direction of your home life, or the direction of your church, so instead of continuing to work toward something good and positive in those areas, you would rather just leave – find a new job, find a new love, or find a new church. Again, let us define what we are not talking about today. We are not talking about needing a new job to make ends meet or leaving a toxic work environment; we are not talking about leaving an abusive family member for your protection and the protection of your loved ones, and we are not talking about leaving an unbiblical gathering of people that calls itself a church. We are talking about you – those of you who fit the following description - your work environment is healthy, your family is ok, and your church stands on biblical principles. You – you don’t want to engage in these or other relational areas of your life, and it isn’t because you are depressed. You are bored. You might not think you are bored, but the “every day” of your routine, the knowing how a family member will respond before you even see them, the constant tradition of church and church events… all of those put your mind on automatic pilot and can become tiresome. You want something new, something different. Think about that for a minute. As you desire “something new,” it means that you no longer have the same interest in the “something old.” Leaving some or all of your relationships simply over boredom seems extreme, yet if more people were more self-aware, they would see that is exactly what they have done or are contemplating doing. Hopefully, you are not in the “have done it” category, but you might be in the “contemplating it” category or the “I hadn’t even realized I was going down this road” category. So, start with putting your devices down! Phones and other electronic devices offer up new images every second. The authors of one journal analysis stated that “digital media increases boredom through dividing attention, elevating desired level of engagement, reducing sense of meaning, heightening opportunity costs, and serving as an ineffective boredom coping strategy.” And, the reality is that most of us have made idols of our digital media devices. We need to meditate on Psalm 135:15-18 “The idols of the nations are silver and gold, the work of human hands. They have mouths, but do not speak; they have eyes, but do not see; they have ears, but do not hear, nor is there any breath in their mouths. Those who make them become like them, so do all who trust in them.” Do the next thing you need to do, no matter how you feel about it. Sometimes, we need to do what we need to do without the emotions. Feelings of happiness are not a promise. However, joy is a promise when we work with the Holy Spirit. It is a choice and a skill, not a feeling. Part of practicing the skill of joy is taking our thoughts captive and choosing to avoid complaining, and that includes internal complaining even if we have our external complaining under control. God tells us in Philippians 2:14 “Do all things without complaining or arguments” for good reason. And, speaking of good, are you looking for the good things that happened today? Practice gratitude. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 reminds us to “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Take time to write out the good things that are happening every single day. Our fourth tip today is to get outside. There are numerous studies showing that getting into nature can help reduce feelings of isolation, promote calm, and lift your mood. One recent study of 20,000 participants revealed that you must spend at least two hours per week in green spaces to report better psychological health. Sit outside to drink your midmorning coffee at work, go for a walk with loved ones after dinner, and plan a church fellowship at the local park. And, finally, do try something new… something new that grows with all the relationships you have in your life right now. Maybe ask work if you can head up a different project or go to a course to expand your knowledge. Ask your loved ones to change up what parts of the daily routine that you can. Try a different Sunday school class or start a Bible study at home. Proverbs 21:5 encourages us to plan and be diligent - “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” Remember five-minute families, don’t throw away your lives looking for the easiest path for change – such as those devices. Look for ways to enrich your life and the lives of your loved ones by dropping the boredom and building strong, exciting memories together. Be blessed!…
Good morning, five minute families. How often do we hide our emotions as adults, ignore them, and never acknowledge their roots? How often do we try to get our kids to only show their happiness? We have discussed emotions before on the Five Minute Family at the end of 2023 and beginning of 2024. In those past five minute family devotions, we discussed emotions that are shown in the Bible as well as how to demonstrate our emotions in a positive way. Please check those out if you want even more information on how to handle emotions in your five-minute family household. Previously, we mentioned how feelings should not be our guides. Specifically, “Feelings are a gauge, not a guide.” Along those lines, I recently heard the quote, “All emotion is information.” So, today, we want to dive deeper into how an individual needs to evaluate his or her own emotions as information and how parents can help children learn this skill. Evaluating our emotions and gleaning the information they are telling us are important steps to having healthy family relationships. If you have any social media account or watch any screen today, you know that there is so much self-care, self-help, trauma-informed, information floating around out there. Some of it is good and helpful, but some of it leads us into so much focus on self that we literally make ourselves our own god. We are not encouraging you to be so self-focused that you idolize self. Remember, James 4:10, Matthew 23:12, and other verses encourage us to humble ourselves. That means we have to focus our “emotion as information” search on, ultimately, how this helps us grow closer to the Lord. If you or someone in your family needs to do a deep dive into the reasons behind their emotions, here are five ways to get started on building a strong emotional self-control: Use an emotions wheel. There are numerous ones out there, but sometimes simply saying, “I’m angry” doesn’t really convey the depth of the emotion or the impact it is having on us and our family. An emotions wheel or chart will give you a way to better pinpoint what your emotion is and what it is telling you. Identify negative patterns. You can do this through charting. Write down what negative behaviors you or your loved one exhibited. Include then the emotions that you or they can identify came before the behavior as well as the situation you were in. If you or your child aren’t able to follow the patterns yourself, help one another. Parents, we somewhat naturally notice patterns in our children’s behavior, but if we cannot see the patterns in our own, we must ask someone else to keep the chart for us (and we have to be open to honesty). Journal. I know, I know. A lot of people say, but I’m not a writer. Well, ok, then. Be like David and play an instrument, see what different chords you play more often in certain emotional states. If you don’t write or play music, then listen to others’ music. Write down what music makes you feel better and what music causes negative reactions to unfold. Also in the line of journaling, without worrying about making complete sense to someone else, write down single words or phrases that seem to come to your mind often. Watch others. People watching is more than just a pastime. It is helpful to evaluate emotions that you watch others go through. Of course, it is a bonus if you can have a thoughtful conversation and see if your ideas were correct. In the home, this means that we parents cannot assume what our children’s tones or facial expressions mean. Share what you think or how you interpret them, but then let your child give you feedback on whether you are correct. You could even use the emotional wheel for clarification. And, last on our list for today… Seek support. Speak with your pastor, mentor, coach, a trusted friend, or possibly even a medical professional. If you feel as if your emotions are out of control, or that you are angry all the time, you may need someone to help you sort through all those emotions and thoughts. We become better able to take our negative thoughts captive when we properly evaluate the emotions that precede those negative thoughts. The Holy Spirit gives us guidance. Read God’s word daily, and pray continually, especially if someone in your home is having emotional control issues. An angry parent is scary to children and an out-of-control teenager can cause harm to the household needs. So, parents, remember to demonstrate the emotional control process for your children. It is a skill set that is learned. As always, we are thankful that you joined us today. Clear View Retreat is a nonprofit organization that exists to draw families closer together, so check out our website at clearviewretreat.org and let us know how we can support your family or community. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Have you ever ignored a family member? Now, be honest. You know you have. We all have. When we’re angry. When we’re distracted. When we’re tired. But, to what cost? When your child runs up to hug you and you keep typing out a text or when your spouse points out a beautiful bird outside the window and you keep watching your show, what impact do you think you are having on your family? Our loved ones reach out in myriad ways throughout the day. Dr. John Gottman found that in marriages where spouses only responded to those attempts to connect about one third of the time, the couple was less happy than in marriages where spouses responded to each other nine out of ten times. This makes me think of how in the Psalm 13 opens with the statement “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” And later in the same psalm, “But I have trusted in your lovingkindness; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.” Those same feelings can accompany being ignored, but remember we are all human and are not perfect and we can trust in the goodness of God and try to be the nine out of ten times responder. Currently, I am going through some medical stuff. I keep talking to and showing Jim my concerns. He looks every time and gives me a sympathetic response. He can’t fix it, and there really isn’t much he can do to help, but he acknowledges my pain and discomfort and still periodically asks if there is anything he can do for me. It means the world to me that he acknowledges what I am going through. Five points to remember when you are working to make sure you are responding well - or getting better about responding… Even when you “aren’t feelin’ it,” you need to respond positively to your loved ones, or, well, maybe that should be ESPECIALLY when you aren’t feelin’ it. Love is not simply a feeling. Love is an action. God’s word describes love as an action word because it is bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Spend some time this week with your family reading and memorizing 1 Corinthians 13. When you meditate on God’s ACTIONS of love, you will find that it will become easier and easier to respond in love, no matter what you are feeling in the moment. Plan screen-free or device-free times in your family. We are all too distracted to-day. Train your brain away from the dopamine response of the devices and instead get the “feel good” hormone of dopamine by making time to eat together and exercise together. Go for a walk, turn on the music and dance. You get the idea. The flip side of device-free time would be to use your devices as tools for connection. Set reminders, share memes, text one another, video chat, and of course call. Folks have the possibility of being more connected than ever, if we would simply use the tools we have wisely. If you didn’t hug back or respond in real time, seek out your child or spouse, and ask for a do-over. Apologize if needed and then hug. Research shows that a 20 second hug can help to decrease the levels of the stress hormone cortisol, increase the levels of the “feeling connected” hormone oxytocin levels, and to facilitate bonding between partners. One study shows that the length of our hugs matters more than the number of hugs, though, truthfully, with teenagers, you may need to keep your hugs short if you have a teen who is struggling with hugging for a time. God is all about connection. Just think about Romans 5:8, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” As well as John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me and I in him pro-duces much fruit, because you can do nothing without me.” God is our model of intentional intimacy. Seek Him and He will guide your attempts at connection. No matter where you are on the “responding to one another” spectrum, remember that we can all stand to improve while walking this earthly life. God transforms hearts, and transformed hearts can learn to communicate more effectively and love more deeply than they ever thought possible. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. What does your family expect from one another? Do you parents expect perfect obedience? Do you kids expect to get what you want when you want it? Does your family expect that everyone will make mistakes but that you will be responded to with God's grace, mercy, and forgiveness, or do you expect the silent treatment and withholding of love and affection when you do wrong or even when you do right? Our expectations dictate our contentment with our circumstances. Back in serf and lord days, serf uprisings were actually not a common occurrence. When they did happen, the quality of life expectations of the poor serfs' changed. When the little l lord didn't meet the change in expectations, an uprising would occur. Our history-buff son shared with us that this is a concept of relative poverty. Basically, if you expect a certain lifestyle and you have what you expect, you don't feel poor… Or neglected or misunderstood. Is there a member of your family with unmet expectations? Someone who is feeling poor despite the wealth of love or met needs surrounding them. For example, a child who believes he or she should have a cell phone. That kiddo will often be combative and disrespectful despite the conversations you have had with them a million times about why they don't have one yet. Unmet expectations Five important points to remember about knowing your and your family members' expectations are: First, meditate on Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." In other words, God already knows our expectations. Are we willing to admit them to ourselves? To our family? Are we willing to take our expectations to God and allow Him to adjust them properly? Second, Proverbs 10:28 reminds us that "The hope of the righteous brings joy, but the expectation of the wicked will perish." Are we as a family expecting good and godly things from one another, or are we wanting to pretend Robin Hood's stealing was fully justified because he gave to the poor? That we as a family can behave badly when our expectations are left unmet and then explain them away because another family member also behaved badly. It is a cycle we have to choose to stop. Third, as a five minute family, meaning we are a family running after God, we must commit to knowing God's expectations of us. In Micah 6:8 "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" How many of us expect to be able to "get back" at the person who wronged us - or wronged our kid. How many of us are unkind... especially when we're driving? How many of us are such huge "sport fans" that we act like idiots when our kids are playing, no humility and no self-control? Fourth, 2 Corinthians 9:8 states, "and God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work." If we expect to have better jobs, better homes, better cars, etc, we need to reevaluate what we are focused on. We need to hold to the sufficiency of God, trusting Him to provide our needs. And fifth, let's turn to Acts 3. In verse 5 we learn that the lame man was expecting some-thing from Peter and those with him, "And he fixed his attention on them, expecting to receive something from them." The lame man was expecting something. He expected a hand-out, a few coins to help him be able to eat. But, Acts 3:6 tells us that Peter responded, “I don’t have silver or gold, but what I do have, I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, get up and walk!” Peter gave what he had! The lame man got so much more than what he expected. What about your family? Have you ever chosen to lavish them with the best you have to offer despite their only asking for a lollipop? Family member's expectations impact the family unit and, ultimately, the family identity. Make sure your family is keeping the lines of communication open. As we have discussed before unexpressed expectations can lead to alot of unnecessary hurts, so be willing to listen without judgment and go back into God's word for evaluation and possible adjustment to your expectations. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. As we travelled to visit family, Kim and I were listening to a business leadership audio book titled Radical Candor, and while we don’t fully endorse everything in this book, we realized that the concept closely aligns with the key concept we teach here at Clear View Retreat – the concept of intentional intimacy. We want to spend some time today and, perhaps, more in some future weeks as well, exploring the idea of radical candor within the family context and our key concept of intentional intimacy. Kim Scott states that “Radical Candor® is what happens when you show someone that you [c]are [p]ersonally while you [c]hallenge [d]irectly, without being aggressive or insincere.” When Scott plots her two key ideas – care personally as the y-axis and challenge directly as the x-axis – into four quadrants, she has ‘ruinous empathy’ for high caring and low challenging which becomes unspecific praise and sugar-coated criticism. In low caring and low challenging quadrant, ‘manipulative insincerity’ manifests as insincere praise and harsh criticism. In the high challenge and low care quadrant, you find ‘obnoxious aggression’ which comes out as insincere praise and unkind criticism. And, again, in the high caring personally and high challenging directly quadrant you find Scott’s concept of ‘radical candor’ which is sincere praise with direct and kind criticism. *whew* Using four quadrants to – somewhat – succinctly explain the basic interaction of two concepts is an age-old visual aid. In our research we found Robert Turner using it to ex-plain discipleship as well as Dimitri Glazkov further developing his fallback theory within Scott’s ‘radical candor.’ While there are numerous enlightening four-quadrant graphics to learn from, we are going to discuss intentional intimacy primarily from Kim Scott’s radical candor illustrative quadrants that we just described and a little from Dr. Robert Kellemen’s style of parenting graphic in Gospel Centered Family Counseling (a grace-focused parenting family living and counseling theory). Radical candor can be applied to families, but let’s also review CVR’s intentional intimacy concept before we merge the two. We define intentional intimacy as “the passion and desire to pursue being known and to know another deeply for the glory of God.” Every relationship we have can benefit from a mindset of intentional intimacy, even random meetings in life. Unfortunately, many people prefer to get good at interactions with strangers and acquaintances but neglect their own family, and we want that to change dramatically for families. If we get into the practice of desiring to know others for the glory of God, we must choose to also express radical candor in caring for and challenging one another. In the numerous “one-anothering” verses we have shared with you all through the years, the elements of caring for one another and challenging one another are already there. Radical candor is required to live out those verses. John 13:34-35, John 15:12-13, Luke 10:25-37, and Romans 13:8-10 are just four of the sets of verses that admonish us to “Love one another.” And, of course, we cannot forget the second commandment of Jesus’s – love your neighbor. In Ephesians 4:11-16 we are reminded to equip one another through speaking the truth in love. Colossians 3:15-17 continues to point out that we are to teach and admonish one another with all wisdom – God’s wisdom. And, Romans 15:14 rounds out our reminders of one anothering for today when it tells us to instruct one another. One-anothering behaviors are essential to living a life of intentional intimacy, and the two pillars of intentional intimacy we teach in our family camps are family discipleship and biblical community. Family should be our first ministry. Family is also the primary mission field we will encounter as parents; thus, family is the first biblical community we are to interact with. The only thing that makes a community truly biblical is to stand on God’s truth. Likewise, family discipleship is the ultimate show of love within the context of family. God’s truth and God’s love are the most basic summaries of biblical community and family discipleship, again those two pillars of intentional intimacy. So, if we plot God’s love and God’s truth for our y- and x-axes for intentional intimacy, we can see how much the concepts line up with radical candor. Please join us next week as we continue this discussion of intentional intimacy and radical candor. We’ll get into some examples of radical candor in the business world and examples of intentional intimacy in the family. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. We talk a lot here at Clear View Retreat about family identity. Now, obviously, there's been a lot of research into what is ‘identity’ and the word has been hijacked in so many ways. However, we really need to understand what family identity is, how our family identity impacts our individual identities, and what God has to say about His transformative power in relationship to our family and individual identities. I was reading an article recently, actually, I think it was a Facebook post. And in it the woman stated, "I had small children and could feel pieces of my former identity slipping away." I remembered a moment when Jim and I first got married and my saying to him, “I went from being primarily a daughter, aunt, and teacher to being a wife, mother, and jobless in six weeks’ time." One could say I was having a bit of an identity crisis. But the reality is that, when a new family is formed through marriage, we have the opportunity to be intentional about what type of identity our family will develop. We have to choose to think about some of the bigger questions. First, take time to discuss “What is our family's purpose?” Psalm 96:3 reads "Declare his glory among the nations. His wondrous works among all people." A Christian, five-minute family must have as its primary purpose bringing glory to God. Now, what other purposes God has for a unique family will vary greatly, but you still must intentionally discuss and pray about what your family purpose is. Second, evaluate what individual talents and weaknesses your family needs to ac-count for. Think for a while on Joshua 1:9, "Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go" and 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." We are to be strong in the Lord, in the unique gifts and talents He gives us, and we need to acknowledge and rightly deal with any of our weaknesses. Third, ask yourselves “How do we serve God and others?” Just as we are each given different gifts and talents, each family will serve in God’s kingdom in different ways. Some of you are musical; some of you build things. Some families will be full-time homeland or international missionaries while other families will serve those they work with in a regular 9-5 type job. Keep in mind Joshua 24:15, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Fourth, for the parents, consider, “What do we want our children to think or feel when they reflect back on their childhood and adolescence?” Proverbs 10:7 re-minds us that "The memory of the righteous is a blessing, but the name of the wicked will rot." And Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." We must make sure that our children’s home life focuses on the righteousness and goodness of God above all else. If we sink into only experiences or material possessions, we have lost sight of the most important thing we are to instill in them, as Deut. 6:4-8 reminds us, “Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.” Fifth, contemplate the question, “What do we not give up on?” Galatians 6:9 says, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” We are NOT to give up on love, on family, on God’s desire for us to share with everyone about His saving grace. If you need to rest, rest. If you need to change course, change course. If you need to ask for forgiveness and work to mend relationships, do so. Never forget that it is never too late to do the right thing while you draw breath on this earth. God wants your family to be intentional in your family identity formation. He wants you to experience the abundant love He has for your family. Be blessed!…
Good morning, five minute families. We all face devastation at some point in our lives. It can be the death of someone we love; it can be the loss of a job; devastation can come in the form of a natural disaster and in so many other ways. What should we do when we or someone in our family faces a season of devastation? Before we discuss five ideas for helping one another, please remember that not everyone in the family faces the level of devastation from the same event. Of course, sometimes, the devastating event only happened to one member of the family, but as we work together as a unit, we are each impacted by those things that impact another. Sometimes, when devastation is an individual event, the individual thinks they must get through the following consequences and emotions on their own. Others may think their family is re-sponsible to help them in an almost entitled way. We must recognize the differences of impact while not isolating ourselves or our loved one in the process. When our fifth son died, our whole family experienced the same event, and yet, Jedidiah’s death impacted each of us quite differently. One son was going through a time of bullying, but he didn’t want to burden us with his concerns because of the pain he could see etched on our faces. He didn’t resent his baby brother, but he was struggling because he knew that his baby brother’s death had forever changed our family dynamic and thus our family identity. One son had been in the room when we received Jedi’s ashes. He be-came angry and acted out but couldn’t communicate why. Our youngest son lost not just a sibling but the opportunity to become a big brother; he was so looking forward to becoming more like his own big brothers in that way. Jim dove even more deeply into God’s Word. He had already not missed a day of Bible reading in I don’t know how long, but he become protective of his time with God. I couldn’t. I wanted to be calm and kind to our living children, but everything upset me. I didn’t know why God would allow such devastation into our lives, so when I did try to read His word or praise Him in worship, it usually ended in extreme anger. I found that I couldn’t even pray. My last prayer before Jedidiah died was that the Lord would take Him so that he wouldn’t suffer anymore. His very next apnea episode was his last. He died in my arms, the fear radiating from his eyes into my soul. Five of the takeaways we learned from that season of mourning and grieving were: First, acknowledge your own and others’ emotions. Hiding them away won’t help and pretending that you feel what someone else does because you think that is what they need won’t help either. Remember, anger is usually about something deeper. And, a lack of tears does not mean someone isn’t hurting. Share honestly and listen nonjudgmental-ly. Take care of yourself when you can. When you have the energy or ability to take steps forward in physical, emotional, or spiritual well-being, do so. Even baby steps will help you face each new day. Let others take care of you when you can’t. As we mentioned in our shared story, some-times a loved one is in a place of loathing or depression or something else that does not allow them to do what they ought. In some cases, take a plate of food for them if your loved one isn’t eating. Don’t admonish them if they only take one bite. Keep bringing the food. And, for those of you not caring for yourself, take a bite. If you can’t do more, just take the first bite. Try not to make other major life changes that are not absolutely necessary at this time. A family we knew wanted to sell their house where their daughter died immediately after her death. Everyone recommended they wait one year. The mom told me she wouldn’t change her mind. They still live in that home. The memories that she thought would drive her crazy have become sweet reminders of love and joy. Be patient with one another. It can be hard if one member of the family handles a devastating event better than another. Jim didn’t judge my lack of drawing closer to God or not crying out to Him about this sinful fallen world. He prayed for me; he asked our friends to pray for me. He asked our kids to pray for me. He patiently waited until the Holy Spirit could reach the walled off parts of my heart and mind. Five minute families, hold tight to Psalm 34:18 in periods of devastation: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” And remember Revelation 21:4, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Thank you for listening. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. It is good to be with you today. How are you and your family doing? Are you intentional in how you treat one another? Are WHO and WHOSE you are still abundantly clear in your home? As a family, we must remember fundamental truths about WHO we are in Christ. We are created in the image of God. After we have made a profession of faith, we are valuable to God as His children and as His friends. We are born of the spirit, eternally secure in God’s love. We are abiding branches in God’s tree of life, given His peace and reconciled unto Him. We will never be condemned. We are God’s heirs adopted into His forever family, chosen by grace and called into intimate fellowship with Him. Do you treat one another this way? Also as a family, we must keep at the forefront of our minds WHOSE we are. We must never forget that God is sovereign, righteous, just, and merciful. He is personal; he knows the number of hairs on our heads. He is all-powerful and omnipresent. He never changes and thus is holy, faithful, merciful, and loving, no matter what we do. If your family has lost sight of WHO and WHOSE you are, then we suggest these five steps to draw closer to God and to one another. Start small. Just like needing to lose weight, a person who goes on a crash diet might achieve some weight loss, but they will likely gain it all back again and quite possibly more. Those people who succeed in losing weight and keeping it off make dietary lifestyle changes that are sustainable and long-lasting. Loving God is the truest, longest-lasting lifestyle change. However, if you make a long crazy list of all the spiritual disciplines and try to change everything at once, you may give up a short time in. But, if you pray about the spiritual disciplines, choose one, and become diligent about implementing that change, you can then layer on more and more god-honoring habits as time progresses, building your family up. Meditate on Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” As in all goal setting, write down your plan for change. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 brings this encouragement, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” Third, each family member must choose to support one another. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Training up a child is not about teaching them the family business or the skill that mom or dad wishes they had been taught. Genuine support for one another is about spending time together, getting to know one another’s uniqueness, and following God’s guidance into the unique areas each of you have been equipped for. Fourth, get a mentor or mentor family. Apply 1 Timothy 4:7-8, “Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” Prayerfully, learn to live life together, learning and growing and holding one another accountability. Don’t fall into the sinful trap of feeling envious or inadequate when around other god-fearing families. Each family has its own challenges. Build one another up and turn to God and God alone for the source of your strength. And, last, extend grace, mercy, and forgiveness liberally. Remember that Christ died for ALL of our sins; the ones we committed before knowing Him AND the ones we commit after knowing Him. But, if God, in His holy glory, continues to apply His grace, mercy, and forgiveness, then we must follow His lead and understand that our children and our spouses and we ourselves will sin again, and we can find reconciliation. Getting Ephesians 4:22-24 right takes time. Walking like Christ means “To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” Five minute families, thank you for joining us today. Draw closer to one another and draw closer to God, five minutes at a time. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. We hope you are having an excellent week. Have you ever evaluated how your family handles mistakes and the cost of correction? How you correct one another matters to the heart of your children and spouse as well as to the family identity you are intentionally creating. A simple example is when our toddlers are learning to speak. Sometimes, we correct the pronunciation. But, there are times when their mispronunciations will become part of the family fabric. Grandparent names often come from these. We had a friend who corrected every single mispronunciation of not only her own children but every child she interacted with. Once, when I used a mispronunciation our children used often, she admonished me. It was odd, honestly. Baby babble and toddler speak are not wrong. It’s learning. There are times when correcting their words is necessary, but there are times when simply saying them correctly ourselves when we speak will be enough. My friend’s staunch and almost fierce response about toddler speak was quite off-putting. I was afraid to make an error in front of her; I cannot imagine how her children felt. Of course, if our spouse or child is saying something that is a lie or that is inaccurate to the meaning of the situation, then correction is necessary. We cannot forget the many verses like Proverbs 12:1 “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” Correction can be a good and right thing. So, let’s explore how a five-minute family can correct one another biblically and lovingly. First, each of us must do some self-examination. I have seen spouses who loved one another and the Lord, and yet, when one constantly corrects the other one, even jokingly, it begins to wear on the partner, and their relationship. In one marriage, we saw the highly intelligent husband “find the words” faster than his wife, correct her pronunciation even when it was obvious what she meant, or even snidely laugh at her when she was wrong. She was an intelligent woman, capable of many good and wonderful things, but to see her with her husband, she was much more timid and constantly concerned about making a mistake around him. Make sure the needs and purpose of the correction are being rightly evaluated and not for selfish gain. Second, we need to identify what we will correct and what we will not be correcting. Correction is important, but, parents must also remember Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21 both of which remind us not to provoke our children to anger. If our children feel that they can never live up to our standards, they will become resentful and discouraged. The cost of unnecessary corrections can weigh heavy on our children. One of our sons was constantly behaving in a negative way toward one of his brothers. It got to where I corrected him EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. they interacted. I was exhausted. I jumped to conclusions. I didn’t listen. I didn’t look into the heart of the matter and ultimately I provoked him to anger. I had to ask for forgiveness and build back the relationship while intentionally looking for the good things to praise. Third, we must choose the right timing. If you need to correct the person, do you do it right then or wait for another time? Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” We know that God has perfect timing, so we need to be prayerful before correcting a loved one. Let God lead you in each individual situation. Our fourth point goes along with the third. We must remember the saying, “Correct in private, praise in public.” Of course, as parents, we know that that is not always possible, but when we are evaluating whether to correct something our child or spouse has said, remember that the people near them in the situation will influence their perception of our intent, so whenever possible try to keep times of correcting for private conversations. And, fifth, never leave out the discussion of “what now?” What will be the way forward? We know from Proverbs 15:32 that “[w]hoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.” We cannot control our child’s or spouse’s response to a moment of correction, but we can make sure to spend quality time discussing it lovingly and praying over the future application of the correction. Meditate on Hebrews 12:11 “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” There is always a cost to correction. The cost for good, loving, and proper correction leads to wise, well-rounded, kind, and righteous living, but the cost for bad correction is one of disunity and distrust. Pray about the heart of the correction in your home. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. It is great to be with you today. We are Jim and Kim Nestle with Clear View Retreat. This ministry hosts family camps, marriage retreats, grief retreats, and more in beautiful East Tennessee. Please check out our website at clearviewretreat.org. On these five-minute family moments, we want to bring God’s encouraging word into real life application for families. Let us know your thoughts, or a topic you’d like us to explore. Today, let’s explore 2 Timothy 1:7. The CSB reads, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.” And the NASB states it this way, “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.” We are not to allow a spirit of fear to pervade our lives and become what we hear, how we interpret, and how we respond to the world. A spirit of fear says the world is so scary and so many bad things could happen that we have to cling to the blanket of control we think we have, controlling our actions and our thoughts. The spirit of fear keeps us focused on worry, concern, the things we lack, the people who have hurt us or let us down, and more. I have lived in Tennessee most of my life. Once when I was in Alaska, I went cold camping in below freezing temps. Now at that point, I had never even owned true cold weather clothing designed to hold body heat in. In fact, in this recent snow-storm, someone shared a picture of socks as gloves for playing in the snow. That's how I grew up, socks as gloves and plastic bags wrapped around my feet. It was cold and fun until it was cold and miserable! So, when I went camping, my friends loaned me a pair of thermals and a subzero sleeping bag along with other necessary items. They told me, when you get inside your one-person tent, take off everything except the thermals, and get into the sleeping bag with nothing else on and you'll be warm. I didn't believe them. I left some of my extra layers on, especially my socks. I awoke at 2am freezing and miserable. The friend in the tent be-side me asked, “Did you do what we told you to do?” You see, I wasn't using the subzero sleeping bag the way it was designed because I didn't understand. I was afraid of being cold and miserable because I didn't trust the power of the fabrics that had been shared with me. Like Kim not trusting in the power of the fabrics, when we give in to fear, we are not trusting the power God has given us. God sent the Holy Spirit to live within us believers. The spirit of God brings us power. And, believers need to understand the Holy Spirit. We encourage you to do a deeper dive, but here are five scriptures to meditate on: Romans 8:26 - Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness Galatians 5:22-23 - But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kind-ness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control Acts 1:8 - But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you 2 Corinthians 3:17 - Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. Isaiah 11:2 - And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. The spirit of God brings us love. God's love knows no bounds. God is with His people. He loves us. We are to love others, AND we are to love ourselves. Continually holding onto fear isn't loving. Those of us who have experienced a spirit of fear would never want that for any of our family members or friends. The spirit of God brings discipline. When we are disciplined, not led by our changing emotions, then we can make sound and rational judgment calls. There may be times when we listen to the Holy Spirit and we do not do something because it wouldn't be good for us or for those around us, but that is not anywhere along the same lines as being afraid of failure and not moving forward. To enrich our lives with God's power, love, and discipline, we must start and stay in Scripture. We need to surround ourselves with other believers, we need to read or listen to His word daily. Bible study and prayer are musts to conquer the spirit of fear. And, we have to believe God's word. You've heard us speak often about getting to the root of our own false beliefs so that God's truth can overtake and replace that lies that we tell ourselves. A spirit of fear can become comfortable and might even keep you somewhat falsely warm as you move around and stay distracted, but what happens at 2am when the false warmth of fear can no longer actually keep you warm? Trust God's spirit of power, love, and discipline. He will guide you through the sin-ful, fallen world. No matter what happens around you, there is abundant living and His heavenly eternity awaits you. Thank you for joining us this morning. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are Jim and Kim Nestle with Clear View Retreat. Thank you for joining us for a new Five Minute devotional after we have taken a month off for multiple family needs. And, it was those family needs that led us to write this week about the idiom “keeping all the balls in the air.” Some of us have too many tasks and obligations going on, and as such, there is no conceivable way to keep juggling numerous balls for an indefinite period of time. Of course, we all have seasons that require more of us than we feel capable of doing. The challenge is often frustrating and satisfying at the same time. We prove to ourselves that we can rise to the challenge of our circumstances, but unless we evaluate which balls need to be let go, even temporarily, we will eventually get to a place of fatigue and burn out. That’s when it feels like all the balls come crashing down. We must never forget that some of life’s tasks, obligations, opportunities, and responsibilities are like glass. If we drop those balls, they will break. Some will only suffer a crack, but others will shatter. And, other of life’s tasks, obligations, opportunities, and responsibilities are like rubber. If we drop those balls, they’ll bounce. They may get out of hand and ricochet, causing a bit of chaos, but the importance and structure of the ball will not change. Our relationship with God, our relationships with our family and close friends, and our health are glass balls. The laundry, cleaning the house, completing our errands, making sure the neighbor is happy with how quickly you got your trash can moved back from the curb, and the like, well, those are rubber balls. As a point of clarification, we must each properly evaluate work. Work can be flexible like a rubber ball, though still fully necessary, or it might be glass for some people. Even if work is a glass ball it is likely tempered glass, it won’t shatter and scatter like the hearts of our children will if let them drop. We five-minute families must rightly apply Scripture in order to not only keep the proper balls in the air but also maximize our individual and family potential. Let’s meditate on these following five verses this week: Mark 8:36-37 “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul?” We must all not just prioritize our relationship with the Lord but we must also realize that we must keep every part of being and every part of our purpose focused on God’s kingdom. Christ followers must commit entirely to Matthew 22:37-40, “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.” When we love God, love our neighbors - the closest of whom are our household family members, and love ourselves, then we will see how to handle the tasks, obligations, opportunities, and responsibilities of everyday life. Psalm 90:12 explains that we are “to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” If we do not take the time to properly evaluate the balls we are juggling, we will end up with the tyranny of the massive amount of rubber balls while the glass ones lay shattered all around us. Wisdom helps us to see the impact of time well-spent with our loved ones or in serving in our community. Luke 12:34 expands that with “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” If we are intent on having the nicest house with all the bells and whistles, but we have no one interested in spending time there because we have shown that we value the house more than them, we have revealed where our treasure truly is. When we rightly apply God’s wisdom, we will see the truth in Proverbs 21:21 “Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor.” Life in this verse is not simply referring to the act of breathing and having a beating heart, it is concerning a lively, active, and revived experience. Sometimes, the rubber balls have all been let go and keeping the glass balls in the air seems impossible. This is where we must be open to asking for help. And, if we see someone we know and love who needs help with their juggling, we need to help them. This is what one-anothering is all about. Keep those glass balls in the air, let any of the rubber ones drop that are getting too heavy or too many, and remember to love one another, bear one another’s burdens, and enjoy the abundant life God has for you and for your family. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Does someone in your family seem to behave badly - or, maybe, more on edge - when the house is a mess but they can control themselves better when it is neat and clean? Did you know that this inability to self-regulate due to the messiness around them might be due to an overload of visual stimulation? Some folks call this visual noise. Others call it “visual bombardment” or a “cacophony of images.” You know, my dad and sister and I had different definitions of clean. To them, once the visual noise of the clutter of the horizontal surfaces (such as table and countertops) were clear, then the room qualified as clean and they could relax. But, it was the dirt underneath that drove me even crazier. At points in life when I had the time and energy, clearing and cleaning could happen at the same time, so that the visual noise of the dust and dirt didn’t bother me, but as more children and less good health happened in my life, I found that I would simply leave the messy to cover the dirty and then nothing got done. Of course, that just made things worse because everywhere I turned, there was more mess and more dirt to tackle. Just like auditory sounds can become overwhelming, visual stimuli can cause a person to feel uncomfortable and distracted, which can lead to them shutting down - mentally, physically, or emotionally. Some people become hyperactive and begin running on adrenaline. Visual noise can cause people to be less productive, angrier, and less self-controlled. So, no matter if a person enters into a flight, fight, or freeze response, we must understand that visual noise can be a trigger. So, how can a five-minute family be mindful and sensitive to the needs of those in their homes who are experiencing visual overload? First, try check the lighting in your home. If you can’t afford a new light fixture installed, then head to the second hand store and buy a cheap lamp. Or, move certain activities into better lighting. Also, remember to adjust the lighting down as the sun goes down to mimic natural lighting responses in the body. Interestingly, as we see that light is good in Genesis 1:3-4 -- “Then God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and God separated the light from the darkness,” we must remember that proper lighting can help control the visual burden someone may be experiencing. Second, evaluate the decorations you have in your home, or at least, the most used space by the person who experiences visual noise issues. When there is too much going on with color changes, table top displays, wall paper or accent walls, curtains, you get the idea, visually noise-sensitive folks will get even less done during activities in those spaces. Interestingly, one study of an elementary classroom found that “In terms of learning and memorization, the correctness of the children’s answers to the test questions was higher in [a] low-stimulus classroom (55% correct) [when compared to a] stimulus-rich classroom (42% correct).” For those of you out there who may struggle with getting rid of things, including gifts from loved ones, remember to value the family members more than your possessions. As Matthew 6:19-21 says, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Third, clear at least one wall in each space if you have someone in the family who overwhelms easily or often. Position his or her chair for meals toward the clear wall, or position his or her favorite reading chair toward a clear wall. This may seem “extra”, but Galatians 6:2 reminds us to "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ." Fourth, try to define spaces with furniture if you can so that organization is easier. Now, we are not talking about practicing Feng Shui here, but know that setting up a comfortable spacious room has benefits both physically and visually as we are discussing. As Deuteronomy 28:6 encourages, “blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out,” so set up your space as a blessing. And, fifth, get some containers… whether it is plastic tubs, banker’s boxes, covered diaper boxes - yes, covered so that the print on the box isn’t a distraction. Get the details of the organization of your home hammered out. Meditate on 1 Corinthians 14:40 “But all things should be done decently and in order.” Remember, five-minute family, that “Visual noise divides our attention and reduces the ability to self-regulate.” We know that children are better able to learn complex skills and concepts when the environment that are in is less distracting, so give your family the best chance at reaching their God-given potential by spending time thinking about visual noise and how to control it. Thank you for joining us and be blessed!…
Good morning five minute families. In our Sunday school lesson this week we were discussing the Old Testament families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Throughout the Bible those names are repeated, even into the New Testament. Let’s explore one of the many lessons that come from those names and their family dynamics. If I was planning a story that highlighted good family dynamics, I would not have written it like the biblical narrative. But God! The depth of God's word in showing who He is and who we are is amazing. God, creator and sustainer, made us in His image. We have talked about that. We have, unfortunately, distorted that image with our fallen nature. Yet God planned, even from the beginning, to help us in our depravity. Let’s pick up the story with Esau, and although he is not one of the three names highlighted, he is a pivotal part of God’s story. You can find this story in Genesis starting in chapter 25. A quick background: Rebekah is the wife of Isaac who was pregnant with two children, and as the Bible says, two nations. Esau was born first with Jacob right behind him holding Esau’s heel. Fast forward several years. Esau, being the first born, traditionally would have the birthright that would guarantee his inheritance of his father's possessions and authority. We have heard it taught that Esau didn’t care about that birthright and in fact demonstrated this by giving it to Jacob for a bowl of stew. That was the agreement between brothers. But it really took manipulation and treachery to actually pull the blessing from Isaac to Jacob, not Esau. What God revealed to Jim in our Bible lesson was that maybe Esau did care for his birthright and was instead blindly showing his false confidence in that no matter what just transpired with the bowl of stew he would still receive Isaac’s blessing because he had favor with his father. What can we learn as a family about the false confidence of Esau and how his story intersects with our lives? This lesson will take a lot of self-examination and soul searching and we suggest looking into these aspects of family life: Are we relying on the faith of our father, mother, brother, sister? I have heard many people say “grandma took me to church and I heard many of the stories, but now I live a good life and know that because grandma is praying for me, I am ok.” Our family of origin, even if it has a strong faith history, will not carry us into a relationship with Jesus as savior. We see in Ezekiel 18 that God rightly judges individuals and does not connect them positively or negatively with their family members. Much like our family of origin, our nurture - that is the surroundings we grew up in, learned from, and often imitated - can lead us down wrong paths that give us both positive and negative levels of confidence. We can see an example of how Timothy was nurtured spiritually by his mother Eunice and grandmother Lois. He was trained to know and honor the Lord. But he did not stop there, and through mentoring and discipleship he learned more about God and was able to disciple others like himself. Thankfully he did not rely only on their teachings. Looking back at the Esau narrative, we can see that he wasn’t prepared. He relied more on his performance and lived in the praise of his father overseeing everything that was happening around him. Life surrounds us and satan prowls around like a hungry lion looking at who he can devour. We must prepare for whatever may come our way and be intentional in our relationship with God and the discipleship of our families. To dig deeper, we can even see that our very genetic makeup influences our beliefs and behaviors. Are there certain ways your parents relate, and although they did not teach you those techniques, you find yourself mirroring them? We see this in the patriarch stories with the example of Abraham lying about his wife being his sister, and later Isaac repeating that same situation. I don’t think that was taught behavior but somehow it was a repeated family trait. Genetic? Possibly. Characteristics of a specific family? Definitely. This can be a challenge to explore as a family with many difficult eye opening revelations, but with the right intention, it can be a rewarding adventure. And finally, where does your family gain confidence? Our hope and confidence is on the sovereignty of God. His goodness and mercy have followed us all the days of our lives as we seek to dwell in the house of the Lord forever. We see in John 10:29, “My Father who has given them to Me is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of my Father’s hand.” Do you and your family know the hope of salvation Jesus brings? Are there areas we can all grow and learn? of course. But God is rich in his mercy towards us and reaches out to provide His grace for all our needs. Families, seek His grace and learn from Him for He is good! Be blessed.…
Good morning, five minute families. This past Sunday our pastor preached out of Titus 2. He focused on the fact that we all have a role to play in church. We aren’t characters acting out our parts. We are God’s children each functioning in the way God created in this life. Jim was teasing me after church about my being in the older women (or, as the KJV words it, “aged women” category). Our son’s girlfriend admonished Jim to stop, but I told her that just like I wear my gray and silver hair with pride, I am ok with claiming that I am, indeed, now an “aged woman.” So, when I couldn’t decide what to write this week for us to discuss, Jim suggested we focus on the older woman’s role from Titus 2 in our biblical community. From the Christian Standard Bible, Titus 2:3-5 reads, “In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not slaves to excessive drinking. They are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God’s word will not be slandered.” Let’s break down those parts and discuss them in greater detail. The first is that we older women are to be reverent in behavior. I started thinking, what does it really mean to be reverent in behavior? Some other translations state it as “behave as those who love the Lord should.” The DRA translation which is over 100 years old and was translated in a literal manner for accuracy words it as being “in holy attire.” Attire is typically a more formal clothing; older women are to be clothed in holiness as Colossians 3:12-14 details, “Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. 14 Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” The second behavior we older women are to focus on is to not be slanderers. That isn’t a word used often in our society today. So, in other words, we older women must not say bad things about other people; we should not gossip. The KJV says we must not be “malicious gossips.” We must apply Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips,” so that we never falsely accuse someone. The third behavior detailed in this is for older women to be “not slaves to excessive drinking.” Now, we aren’t here to discuss whether someone chooses to be a teetotaler or not, but we know based on numerous Scripture that no one is to have the habit of drinking too much alcohol. The tendency toward addiction is weighty, so it is imperative to remember what Proverbs 20:1 says, “Wine is a mocker, beer a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise.” The fourth behavior listed in verse 3 is to “teach what is good.” Other translations put this as being eager to teach what is good, as our needing to be examples of virtue, teachers of good things, teachers of honesty, and examples of the good life. From Mark 10 verse 18, we know from Jesus himself that “God alone is good,” so to fulfill this behavior we are to teaching about God at every opportunity. We can point back to His word in every day life, we can give Him glory for the good He has done in our lives, and we can study more about Him so that we can practice good works in honor of that gift he gave us through Jesus’s death on the cross. The final behavior comes in verse 4, older women are to encourage younger women. There are specifics listed after that as to what an older woman can focus on in her encouragement, but ultimately, the point is to apply 1 Thessalonians 5:11, "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." You know, Proverbs 31 describes the example of what a woman should aspire to be in life, but Titus 2 points out how we all have learning and growing to do, and if we share our experiences, we can build up a strong and beautiful biblical community. An older woman in God’s community is to be reverent, sincere, and honorable, so that all the other roles in the community can receive her encouragement. Thank you for joining us today. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. What does your family do on a Sunday afternoon? On google trending, the most searches on an autumn Sunday afternoon center around professional football teams and their players. Have you ever thought about what you search for as a family? Do you search for acceptance? Do you seek fun? Do you desire peace and quiet? Stop for a moment and ponder that question… What does my family search for? Some families go home and each go their separate ways… some to be on their devices, some to get some household tasks completed, some to rest for a wonderful Sunday nap. We need to search for opportunities to build our family identity instead. We need to search for activities that will build good values in our children and strengthen them in ourselves. If we play a game, no one is allowed to cheat. If we can afford to go out to eat, everyone is polite and respectful to the staff. If we have some vegging time, we set boundaries to develop our brains wisely and in a balanced way. We need to search for activities that instill a sense of belonging. You know, I recently felt very left out of something, and it hurt me a lot. I had to work through how God would want me to handle that. I am still not fully certain, but I know that running and hiding isn’t an option. You see, adults have a tendency to retreat into themselves. Children, on the other hand, will often behave badly to get any type of reaction from their parents because it is better than being ignored. We are created for relationship, so as a family, we have to be aware of each individual and their needs. Some need extra time and specific invitations to feel included; others will tag along to everything without thought or care. Some of us want group conversations and activities, and others of us want more one-on-one conversations. We need to search out activities that build our dreams or help us create the dreams themselves. Working toward a goal together is beautiful. We learn new skills together. We overcome adversity together. We feel accomplished together. And, sometimes our intentional activities - which might be as simple as a guided discussion - will allow us to continue to build new dreams and make new goals, and in all of that we get to continue to support one another, as the Bible calls us to. We need to search for activities that help us feel protected. No family should choose an activity that creates such a level of anxiety or negativity that an individual is left without a way to cope with the outcome. For example, some families might love to have the experience of jumping out of an airplane together, but one member may feel so anxious about it, that they shut down. The family might opt for rock climbing at an indoor climb space first (or for a while) to help the anxious family member do something a bit more daring than normal but not quite jumping out of an airplane - yet. And, we need to search for activities that help us cope positively with the stress of this world we live in. As a family, we want to build one another up and challenge one another. This could mean that your family chooses an afternoon hike or bike ride. A simple walk will do, especially if someone in the family is facing a medical or physical challenge. This could mean asking for or offering help with an upcoming homework or work assignment. When I was tutoring science, gathering all of the random household items for my experiments was stressful, but when I engaged my kids in the search, I got to answer questions that help fill in the holes I didn’t even realize I had in the experiment, or it taught them something new while they contributed to our family life. Of course, there are hundreds and hundreds of activities that families can do together, but no matter what your family is participating in, make sure that you have thought through the purpose - it can be about simple fun and laughs; or it can be about a very important lesson that needs to be taught. Thank you for joining us today. And, do contemplate the question: what does my family search for? We want to let you know that if you are facing the upcoming holidays for the first time since the death of a loved one, Clear View Retreat has partnered with local groups in the Wartburg, Tennessee, area to host a ‘Grief Through the Holidays’ seminar on November 9, 2024. Please go to our website clearviewretreat.org and click on the upcoming events tab for more information. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. How has life been coming at you lately? Has it been a quiet breeze filled with sunny moments? Or, maybe you are in the midst of the greatest storm of your life where it feels that everything is getting tossed around and the anchor trees lifted? Whatever your circumstances in life, God wants your family to experience His peace that passes all understanding. How can a family do that in both the norms and storms of life? Our desire with this devotion is to help your family grow closer to God and encourage the relationships He has established in your homes. By starting with just five minutes, we pray that your time blossoms into a beautiful bouquet of family blessings. We know God is good at gathering a bountiful harvest from the time when we focus on Him. First, practice the spiritual disciplines - both together and individually. Whether life is good or difficult, we need to be practicing the spiritual disciplines to make sure we are staying connected to our Lord and Savior. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the spiritual disciplines they include worship, bible study, service, and fellowship as well as prayer, meditation, and gratitude. Some folks will break them out further, but you get the idea. We need to be in God’s Word daily and challenge ourselves and one another to keep our focus on the kingdom of God and not the changing circumstances of this earthly life. Second, keep the lines of communication open in both the good and the bad times. All too often, when we are stressed, we shut down. We sometimes assume our family members even know what we are thinking, and sometimes they might be right, but too many times, they do not understand, and the hurts can pile up. So, no matter what life is throwing at you - all the good, all the bad, or a random mix - be sure to keep having family discussions and listening well to one another. And, remember, do not just talk AT one another, but speak for clarity and listen to understand, not just to respond and say your own next point. Third, plan family time together. It doesn’t have to be an amusement park; it can be a simple walk in the woods. The goal is to be together and focus on one another. If life is going well, we too often let it tumble along without any intentional time together. Thus, when things aren’t going so great, we either try to force family time or we continue to ignore it all together. So, whether in the norms or storms of life, make time for one another on a regular basis. We know some families that have weekly family fun nights, monthly family fun days, and annual family get-aways. You don’t have to be so organized as all that, but we must all put in the effort to let our families know they matter. Be intentional! Fourth, give each other space as needed. This element of staying connected as a family can be tricky, but the reality is that some family members need more alone time than others. If you are a cuddler who wants to spend every possible moment together and your child is a non-hugger who can spend hours reading a book without speaking to anyone, you two have to find a way to connect AND give each other the necessary space. It can be that while reading, you sit together on the couch, though maybe not touching for most of the time. Sometimes, non-huggers will need to hug and sometimes cuddlers will have to refrain from hugging. Each family will have to find the balance that works for your own home. And, our final suggestion for today is to do household tasks together as well. It might not work to have everyone clean the tiny kitchen together, but everyone can work on the household tasks at the same time and then either come back together to have some fun or go on about the everyday needs of your schedule. One family had a two-hour block for every Saturday morning. Each member of the family had tasks to do to help reset the home for the upcoming week. The children complained like crazy but quickly learned the value of getting it done and getting it done together. They could see that everyone contributed - age-appropriately, of course. Family life is beautiful - and hard. Family life is where we can drop our masks and be ourselves - and be challenged to become the best versions of ourselves as well. No matter what family life looks like for you today, whether it is just husband and wife, or you are in the newborn/toddler phase, or if you are launching your teenagers into greater independence, no matter what, staying connected as a family takes intentionality and commitment. We do thank you for joining us today. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are happy to be with you today. We are Jim and Kim Nestle with Clear View Retreat. More than twenty years ago, God sparked a vision in our minds for family unity. As the years rolled by, Clear View Retreat was born to help families learn to draw closer to one another within the family unit and within their biblical community. But, since we are not all the same, responding as robots, having the same likes and dislikes, and since we live in a sinful, fallen world and where we often let the weight of our circumstances control our behavior, conflict sometimes happens. How does your family or biblical community handle conflict when it occurs? Let me share a wonderful example of Christian reconciliation. Some background first… One woman had been helping out with a group of kids, and one kiddo had required more direction and redirection than most of the others in the group. At the end of an especially stressful day, she was again overseeing this group of kiddos. The child behaved as children do, but nothing over-the-top or defiant, but because of the woman’s legitimately bad day, she - in one quick statement - fussed at the kiddo more harshly than she should have. A family member of the child was present. Fast forward to the end of the event, the family member sought out the stressed woman, and kindly shared that in that frustrated moment she had been angry for her family member because the reprimand happened in a moment when it was not deserved. But, that she knew the stressed woman did not mean harm and that she also saw how the stressed woman immediately regretted her words and changed her own attitude. The two women took time for complete honesty and transparency and they not only got to a place of reconciliation but also greater connection. Why do I know this story? Because I was present for the frustrated comment, and after the two women spoke, the stressed lady came over to apologize to everyone who had witnessed her frustration with the child. Why? She wanted to accept full responsibility for her actions. She was sorrowful and repentant. Biblical communities need to be able to speak openly about hurts and frustrations. The reason the story Kim shared is compelling is because of how well it represented how God tells us to address conflict within our relationships. Here are five of the many verses we need to pour over and commit to memory in order to have deeper, more abiding relationships: Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. Matthew 5:23-24 “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Hebrews 12:14 “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.” Philippians 2:4 “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” You know, it’s like we have always told our children, please come to us when you mess up. Will we be mad? Possibly. Will we react badly for a brief moment? Maybe. But, we are always open and want to help our kids strategize how to fix their own messes or to help them get the help they need. Grace, mercy, and forgiveness were not free. Christ paid the ultimate price for our reconciliation with the Lord. Grace, mercy, and forgiveness are not easy in our human relationships, but if we keep in mind the price Jesus paid and the options we have for abundant living now on earth as well as for eternity with the Father, we need to practice God’s reconciliation plan. Be blessed!…
F
Five Minute Family
Good morning, Five Minute Families. It’s good to be with you again today. It’s almost fall here where we are, and many sports, especially American football, will be starting back. Some coaches will say, “it isn’t about winning or losing, it is how you play the game.” Now, really competitive folks don’t typically like that saying too much. Everyone loves the feeling of working hard and winning! Maybe, for everyday life in general, you have heard the saying, “Well, sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose?” Whether it is actual sports or actual life moments, today let’s think about the twist on that by John Maxwell, “Sometimes you win; sometimes you learn.” The reality is that “we live in a sinful, fallen world, and sometimes that world falls on us,” as Robert Kellemen says. As a family, sometimes the world falls on us, and we have a choice in difficult family times. Are we going to win, learn, or lose? As the explanations for Maxwell’s book Sometimes You Win; Sometimes You Learn describe, any setback whether it is a game loss, a bad grade, a botched audition, a job loss, or something less, can be seen as a step forward when we possess the right tools to turn that loss into a gain of knowledge.” So, how can a five-minute family learn when situations are, or feel like, a loss: Get back up. Proverbs 24:16 says, “For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” We must choose to get back up - for the sake of our family, for the sake of our community, for the sake of ourselves, and for the sake of God. He saved us from eternal damnation. This world will try to beat you down, but in honor of God and in support of one another, we must each be willing to reengage in the daily battles that will happen. Evaluate what happened. 1 Corinthians 10:11 reminds us, “Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come.” As Mr. Maxwell points out, “experience isn't the best teacher--evaluated experience is.” It might be hard to talk about what happened as a family, but if we are not willing to evaluate the loss (or perceived loss), we may harbor resentment, false beliefs, or other toxic responses. Check your emotions. When James 1:2-4 says, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing,” James is not meaning that we have to feel happy about the loss or struggle we are in. God does mean for us to realize that we cannot let our emotions control our next steps. We must acknowledge the emotions so that we can deal with them in healthy ways. Be honest. Again in James, this time in chapter 3 verse 2, we read, “For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is mature, able also to control the whole body.” Let’s not try to “spin” a loss as a win. We need to fully grasp what we need to learn from the loss, or not full win, so that we can grow closer to one another and to God. And, last, trust God in the process. So much of our earthly norms and storms come down to Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” Practically speaking, as family, try to keep a log, whether in a journal or on the cloud, of all the times, a situation felt like a loss - or, at least, it didn’t feel like a win, and review what God did in the long run. Many of us have a story about a prayer that they prayed and God said no; then, as time marched on, they could see why God did not give them what they asked for then. Share those stories with one another - if they are age appropriate, of course, and remind one another of God’s ultimate plan of victory over death. God is good. All the time. We forget that way too often in the learning moments. Take time today to commit as a family to use every opportunity in life to grow closer to one another and to God. Thank you for joining us here at the Five Minute Family. We’d love to have you share your thoughts on family life. Feel free to reach out to us on social media or via our email at cvr@clearviewreat.org. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. What do you do when you as a family are not motivated to do something you know you need to do? Let’s use this following example today. Everybody in the family has experienced frustration with another family member’s device use. Everyone has agreed that each person’s behavior needs to change in some way (some more than others, most likely). Discussions have been held and promises have been made, but the reality of making the change sets in and everyone in the family still chases the next dopamine hit that their device gives their brain, and no real change occurs. Being motivated to change something or set a goal in the family is far different than exercising the discipline needed to execute the change. Motivation is the desire to do something. But discipline is actually doing something that must be or should be done - whether you desire doing it right then or not. Hold tight to Hebrews 12:11 during any time of family discipline changes, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Begin by discussing and listing out each family member’s strengths and weaknesses. Do you have a morning person, a night owl, an organized person, a spontaneous person? You get the idea. God put your family together, whether through biology, adoption, or marriage, you are each a part of this unique family unit. Use each other strengths’ to your family’s advantage. If your family has a habit of everyone grabbing their phone or tablet right after they wake up, have the early riser in the family make breakfast (or set out the cereal), have all the curtains open and the lights one. When another family member awakens, they are greeted with a hardy and enthusiastic “good morning” and maybe a gentle reminder to put down the device if needed. Your spontaneous person can invite everyone outside for a walk or to the table for a board game. You get the idea. Make preparations for the changes. To continue our device usage example, BEFORE the day of device change happening, you need to see if certain family members need to have apps installed that block usage during certain hours of the day. Maybe someone else needs to have a reward structure set up to see the changes in a visual. Kids especially will respond to sticker systems that allow them to earn stickers on a sheet that can then be turned in for device time or that can be turned in for cash or some other reward. Remember, parents, the reward must be something motivating to the individual person. The same reward will likely not work for all the children in the family. Maybe, your family needs to set up an alarm on each device, or a wi-fi cut off time for the entire household. Those preparations tie into this point, which is remove temptation wherever you can. Remember to apply James 1:14, “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.” If you remove the device temptation from the nightstand or gathering room by planning a charging area that is away from the bedroom or the main gathering space, each person must think more deeply and longer about choosing to grab his or her device. Along the same lines of preparing for the changes by setting up your space differently or removing temptations, you must also remember to prepare a clear list of goals. If your family is onscreen most of the day, going cold turkey from all devices may prove so daunting, that you all simply give up. Saying in a general way, “hey, we are gonna try to use our devices less this school year” doesn’t set a clear, definable goal. However, if you make a goal of using devices only so many hours per day, or a goal of no more “morning ‘til night device days,” then you give yourselves more options to adjust. Our society is full of technology; we aren’t going to be able to avoid it all day, every day. Learning how to use the tools wisely will take time. Make sure that once you set your goals, you all devote yourselves to the goals every. single. day. Don’t try to talk one another into a reversion back to old ways “just for today.” You will be sabotaging your entire family goal if you do so. As Proverbs 14:23 illustrates, “There is profit in all hard work, but endless talk leads only to poverty.” Meaning, that if we put in the hard work for our families, we will build a rich, beautiful family life. May God bless your endeavors to deepen your family connection, whether you need to work on device time, communication skills, family devotions, or something else. Please let us know if we can be of any help in your efforts. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are Jim and Kim Nestle with Clear View Retreat. Many of you have heard us discuss the concept of “intentional intimacy,” which is one of the guiding principles we promote at our retreats. Intentional means being purposeful in our actions. And intimacy is having familiarity or closeness with someone. Here at CVR, we define our key concept ‘intentional intimacy’ as “the passion and desire to pursue being known and to know another deeply for the glory of God.” Let’s break that down today. Not all relationships will have marital levels of passion and desire, but because we all are designed to be in relationship with others, we will have passion and desire to seek out connection with others. We all hope for and have a driving need to feel connected to other people. Extroverts seek connection with more folks than introverts do, but we can never forget that everyone created in the image of God is created with His passion and desire for relationship. John 15:13 reminds us that “No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends.” If we want to be in good solid relationships, we must allow ourselves to have the passion and desire for the pursuit of the relationship. Ah, the pursuit. The next part of our definition for intentional intimacy is “to pursue being known.” This may seem odd that we need to pursue being known, but we do. We must intentionally choose to share our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. We must be willing to be our authentic selves. Relationships fall apart when someone isn’t willing to share honestly about themselves. The second part of the pursuit is “to know another deeply.” We must focus our passion and desire on getting to know someone else. We cannot simply share about ourselves. We have to have an interest in the other person and actively listen when they discuss their thoughts, feelings, or ideas. To give an illustration of the first three points of ‘intentional intimacy,’ let me tell you about a friend I had. We seemed to have many things in common and got along really well. I invited her to things; I included her in my life. I would ask questions and, believe it or not, actually stop talking to hear her thoughts, ideas, and feelings, but she did not pursue sharing herself, nor did she show any passion or desire to connect. She would respond when it was convenient for her. Eventually, I stopped trying to connect. I had to let my passion and desire for our friendship to grow to stop driving me. I accepted the level on which she shared, and without my passion and desire for connection, we began to only interact when our paths crossed on a happenstance basis. I could not force her into intentional intimacy. Our friendship is different than when it started. We are certainly more like acquaintances now, but accepting where someone else is, is important. Now, let’s think about our motivation. In our definition of ‘intentional intimacy,’ we point out that the relationship is pursued “for the glory.” A lot of people when entering into a new romantic relationship or a new friendship have passion and desire. They want to pursue being known and know another, but their ultimate motivation is for their own glory. When we want a relationship simply for how it makes us feel or what we get out of it, selfishness seeps in. Of course, we all want to be in relationships that feel good, but that cannot be the defining purpose of the relationship. We cannot be in relationship with others for their or for our own glory. Which leads us to our last point, we must choose to be in good and wonderful relationships for the glory OF GOD. He must be the reason that we pursue sharing about ourselves and learning about another. When we choose intentional intimacy for the glory of God, we can accept that some relationships must come to end or must change for the growth of the other person. And, we can accept and celebrate that some relationships are lifetime commitments. At times, those lasting relationships will require us to pray about the waning of our passion or desire as well as hurts or frustrations that happen, but with God, we get to begin to reconnect. Intentional intimacy is a choice. It is an action to be taken over and over again. The beauty is that while it is seems like a whole lot of work, it actually becomes easier and easier - and more beautiful - as we walk with the Lord and desire to bring Him glory through our interactions with others. Remember, five minute families, to align your values and goals with the purpose of your actions. Pursue being known and knowing another for the glory of the Lord. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Have you ever felt that those around you are only tolerating you but don’t really love or celebrate you? Do your loved ones or biblical community feel loved by you or simply tolerated by you? Love, acceptance, and tolerance are words that get thrown around and used in a variety of contexts. So today we want to talk about how we can each show someone in our family or biblical community that we love them as God has called us. Matthew 22:39, John 13:34, John 15:12, John 15:17, and Romans 13:8-10 are but five of the many “love one another” verses in the Bible. To be loved is to be accepted and to be invited in. Someone who is simply tolerated is “just there.” The tolerated person is neither good nor bad but also rarely sought. To be simply tolerated indicates a lack of emotional attachment. Someone who is loved is welcomed and sought after. As Christ followers, we need to seek ways to show love. If you find yourself simply tolerating someone else, here are five suggestions to help you move from simple tolerance to love: First, be there when your loved one or friend needs you. It might interrupt your plans sometimes. Someone who is simply tolerated will see that you aren’t there when they need you. Remember Romans 12:13, “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.” Which leads to the second suggestion, take time to be aware of what someone’s needs actually are. For example, someone who is grieving may need help getting their house clean, or they may want you to stay and chat when you bring a meal. Or, they may be struggling with all the people who have been surrounding them and need some time alone. Ask them what they need, and be sincere with your question. Just as Paul encourages us in Romans 15:1-2, “Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.” Third, take an active interest in their life. Don’t just ask how someone is and then quickly move to get to the next task at home or the next person you really want to speak to at church. Realize that each person in front of you is a divine appointment, and you have the chance to extend God’s love through active listening. We all have things going on in our lives, but take to heart Philippians 2:4, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Take the time to intentionally include those around you. Family members, church members, and friends who feel simply tolerated will feel left out, underappreciated, or like they are not part of the team. Hebrews 10:24-25 comes to mind here, “And let us consider one another in order to provoke love and good works, not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching.” It will take time to be intentional about including others you might not initially think about, but the good thing about the age of technology is that you can use it to your advantage. For example, scheduling texts to go out at another time if you are thinking of someone at an odd hour or during your planning time for the event itself. And our final suggestion: if critical thoughts arise, take them captive. Choose to pray briefly and ask God to show you the other person’s perspective. This can be especially hard, but if you have been simply tolerating someone, it is very likely you view something about the person as unfavorable in some way. In Colossians 3:13 we are told to bear with one another. God knows our human hearts and inclinations. If He tells us to bear with one another, we need to work harder to do so because bearing with one another God’s way is not simply tolerating, it requires love as well. Ephesians 4:2 encapsulates that concept best when it says, “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, show tolerance for one another in love.” Tolerance in love. If we choose to extend grace and to celebrate with someone when we would have normally simply tolerated them, we show the love of Christ and deepen our own relationship with the other person. If you yourself feel that you are being simply tolerated, look first to make sure you are showing love and not only toleration yourself. Pray and ask God if you need to address this issue to move forward in your relationship or friendship. Then, open the lines of communication and share how you are feeling. Also, be prepared to be specific about the ways that you do not feel loved in this situation. Your family member, church member, or friend is not a mind reader. Thank you for joining us this morning. Be blessed!…
F
Five Minute Family
Good morning Five Minute Families. Has your family ever struggled through the day, the month, the year? Unfortunately, we have all struggled and suffered through life in this fallen world. Is your family prepared for the battles that are all around us? We have discussed, here on the Five Minute Family devotional, on how to prepare our families for times of trouble. Just as the fire drill prepares us to escape a fire, God’s Word prepares us for the fiery arrows of this world. We recently saw how God’s Word prepares us for quality communication in a crisis as we demonstrate concern, commitment, competency, clarity, and confidence. Back in December of ’22 we went through Scripture to see not only how the Israelites were fed, led, watered, taught, and given a steward, but how we are as well. God’s Word is living, breathing, and bringing instruction for every situation we will face as a family. I was motivated to write this from the sermon series our pastor is doing from 1st Peter. In the writing of the apostle Peter we can see that he was inspired by the Holy Spirit to encourage us to always be ready for battle. Beware that the enemy is ready to steal our joy, provide stumbling blocks of temptations, and get our focus off our savior Jesus Christ. So, we must be diligent to stay the course. Peter in the 5th chapter, verses 10 and 11, states: “After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen.” The foundation of these verses is God’s Grace - the God of ALL grace. When we try to operate in life apart from God we are giving up His grace and power; we think we are capable, self-sufficient. “You can do it” is the heart of many self-motivational speeches. God’s grace is extended to us as a gift, available and eternal. It will never fail us or leave us. And, from that foundation, Peter highlights five ways that to encourage your family to be ready in the norms and storms of life. Called. When your phone rings you get excited. Maybe it’s your spouse with wonderful news. Your best friend asking you to share a lunch together. Or, it could be the God of the universe wanting to share with you His eternal glory. That calling is not just our job but our identity. In Christ we bear His name. We receive heavenly backing on our earthly journey. We are known by God and can shine His glory throughout our lives. Perfect. Perfection is not a feeling but a destination. Through the process of sanctification, we learn to put on Christ daily and take off our old selves in response to His love and kindness. The verse I read says, “will Himself perfect.” Christ is our perfect and He is the one doing the perfecting. We do have to let go and let God. Give Him the opportunity, like Kim likes to say, “to show up and show off.” Confirm. Listen to His Word and hear that He is for us and not against us. We will at times doubt the goodness of God, that is normal in our fleshly bodies. But God, in while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. We will receive endorsement as we strive to bring Him glory. Verses 1 and 4 in the same chapter reads that we are a “partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed,” and will receive the “unfading crown of glory.” A crown is a shining achievement and Christ has confirmed its placement. Strengthen. Our flesh and bones are weak, but as Proverbs states ‘the fear and reverence of the Lord will bring healing and refreshment to our bones.’ Jesus knows our struggle. He knows our weakness. He endured and overcame and He is standing at the right hand of the Father in majesty. His Words are like sweet honey on our lips and encouragement to our souls. It is not the building up ourselves that make us strong but the surrender to God that ultimately brings strength. Establish. We are being set up, brought to a place we may not have dreamed. Taken to an unimaginable existence guided by love, mercy, and grace. God knows exactly where we are and where we are going. Embrace being found and know that the journey is going to be amazing. And, remember that Christ “will Himself” do the work to achieve the goal and bring Himself the glory. Enjoy the ride and believe He will accomplish all that He desires. Thank you for joining us today. Plan a time of family reflection, be it a hike in the woods of God’s creation or a visit to Clear View Retreat for a time of enrichment and renewal. We know God has great plans for you and your family. Be blessed.…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Has your family ever faced a crisis? A major medical diagnosis? A death in the family? A financial disaster? No matter what family trouble you may be experiencing, you will find that communication in the crisis is vital to your family identity and vitality. You’ve heard us discuss communication skills before. Having good skills already practiced in and among the family members is important when everything else around you seems to be in chaos. Businesses and organizations will create “Crisis Communication Plans” in order to make sure that everyone in their group understands the problem, works together to resolve the matter, keeps lines of communication open so that everyone is validated in their efforts, establishes and maintains trust, and effectively manages their part of the solution. Families are not businesses, obviously, but we can learn a lot from the research businesses have done in knowing how to rightly apply communication skills when our family is in trouble. Business crisis communication plans include what is referred to as the 5C Model; these five elements are concern, commitment, competency, clarity, and confidence. These five elements “provide a well-organized framework that guarantees communication will be clear, timely, and empathetic.” Not only are the five elements researched and proven effective by secular society, but it turns out they are biblical. Let’s discuss them as we think would apply to a family crisis situation. Concern. Each family member needs to show proper concern for the crisis the family is facing. Obviously, sharing the details and expressing the proper amount of concern must be age-appropriate. As Luke 6:27-28 tells us, “But I say to you who listen: Love your enemies, do what is good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Commitment. In crisis, we must be mindful to explicitly communicate our commitment to one another as Ruth did to Naomi in the book of Ruth chapter 1 verses 16 and 17, “But Ruth replied: Don’t plead with me to abandon you or to return and not follow you. For wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you live, I will live; your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me, and do so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.” Competency. In times of trouble, especially if we are experiencing something for the very first time, we need to remember the competency that comes only from the Lord: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, “All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” We need to turn to God’s word together in order to be best equipped to face these challenges. Clarity. Likewise, we need to seek and express clarity. In crisis, we need to be doubly sure that we fully understand each other’s thoughts and feelings, and make sure that include each family member in major decisions. Before we move forward, we need to seek clarity as 1 Thessalonians 5:21reminds us, “but test all things. Hold on to what is good.” Confidence. And, last, but not least, we need Confidence. First, we must have confidence in the Lord as Proverbs 3:26 reminds us, “for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.” And we need confidence in the process that God brought us through to follow up on the decision or decisions we have made through prayer and fasting. Hebrews 10:35-36 “So don’t throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you need endurance, so that after you have done God’s will, you may receive what was promised.” Remembering to discuss BEFORE a crisis what crisis communication looks like is important. In school, we plan, draw, and practice fire drills. Why? The majority of us have never experienced a fire. But, because there is still a risk, we practice dropping low to the ground. We discuss sleeping with our doors closed. We make sure to change the batteries in the detectors every six months. So, just like fire prevention or fire management is important, we must remember that our loved one’s heart in the midst of a crisis is important too. If we already have a plan in place, then we will whether the storm of the crisis much better. Thank you for joining us today. We hope you will check out our website at clearviewretreat.org, and comment on our social media accounts so that we can hear from you. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. A couple of weeks ago we opened our discussion about privilege. We defined it and we gave many examples of the type of privilege we are discussing here. We each need to be more in tune with any “privileged” behavior that can damage our family or biblical community. Awareness about the privileges you enjoy as an individual or family is important because they can be used for good if you have the proper perspective. For a reminder, we are defining ‘privilege’ as having an advantage or opportunity that most other people do not have. But, what does privilege look like within a family unit. Well, here’s one example. The male members of one side of my family had privilege that us girls did not. One of my grandfathers favored his son over his daughters, and that continued as all of us granddaughters knew that our grandfather (and in some measures our grandmother) favored the grandsons. He spent much more time engaged in conversations with them and teaching them things about life. My grandfather helped each of the boys buy their first house. Favoritism and partiality are not the fault of the person receiving them, but we must be careful if we are the one receiving favoritism or partiality. It is a privilege that not everyone experiences. In two parent families, we need to remember the privilege we have - two adults to bounce ideas between, to support one another in the tasks of running the home, to divide labor, and to multiply love. In a single parent home, the sole parent must be consistent, no matter how tired he or she becomes, or deal with the fallout that inconsistency due to lack of time or energy causes. When a child has basic needs to be met, the single parent steps up as best he or she can. Some churches will host single parent car days wherein a mechanic in the congregation works on simple tasks that the single parent often does not have the time to handle. In some communities, helping with yard work is not just for helping the widows. Single parent homes are included, too. We must all help one another. Galatians 6:2 “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Some families in your biblical community have more privilege than others. This is one of the main reasons we believe the Lord tells us repeatedly in His word to have an attitude of one anothering. Of course, He specifically mentions taking care of the orphans, widows, and the poor, but in general we are also to adopt an attitude of watching out for each other. If we do not monitor how privileged we are, we may miss opportunities to minister to one another. I was once in a situation where an organization covered everyone’s expenses of an event. One person who participated said something along the lines of, “everyone here could have paid for themselves but it was nice that the organization covered the expenses.” But, the reality was, that person was speaking from their own financial stability and ability to have disposable income. Just because someone shares an organizational connection with you does not mean they have the same financial stability as you. Hebrews 13:16 “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” Maybe you are in charge and most everyone does nice things for you. Believe it or not, that does not happen for everyone else around in the organization, job, community, church, small group, or whatever the situation may be. You need to realize the privilege that your position affords you and not make assumptions for those you are over based on your privilege. Philippians 2:4 “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” As Jim and I helped serve a meal one evening with a nonprofit organization that feeds people who are homeless, the director and I spoke about their additional outreach to trafficked victims. I admitted that I would feel lost and unable to be of much help in that area. She shared that she had to thoroughly vet anyone who wanted to get involved in the outreach nights to the ladies in troubling situations. Some volunteers think they are ready simply because they are willing, but they can do more harm than good if they have not realized the privilege that their lives have afforded them. We must rightly apply Romans 15:1, “Now we who are strong have an obligation to bear the weaknesses of those without strength, and not to please ourselves.” Remember, five minute families, acknowledgment of the privilege you may hold is not a liberal or woke concept. It is an acknowledgement of the blessings in your life and your privilege perspective will aid you in being a better Christ-centered servant in His kingdom. Be blessed!…
F
Five Minute Family
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Let’s discuss privilege. Now, we are not saying “check your privilege” in the current, woke, political way. So, please don’t check out on us. As Christ-centered families, we need to understand what special advantages or disadvantages we have in order to better serve in this world. First, let’s define what privilege actually is. Oxford Languages says privilege is “a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group.” Now, that definition can be used in many ways, but Collins Dictionary brings it more to the point we want to discuss today: “Someone who is privileged has an advantage or opportunity that most other people do not have, often because of their wealth or connections.” Think briefly about the child raised by musical parents who are able to help him outside of his piano lesson time because they have musical knowledge, too; he gets the advantage of extra instruction and guided practice time. The young adult who wants to start a business with a relative in that business can talk over a family meal instead of scheduling an appointment during the work day with someone in that industry - an opportunity that not everyone starting out will have. The grandchild who inherits family land and has a family member with a tractor who can come and bushhog for only the cost of fuel or maybe even for free. The subdivision family who has kind neighbors who bring a meal when they hear that someone in the family is injured. Obviously, the examples could go on and on. The reality is that there are many, many people out there who do not have the privilege of a support system of helpful family, close friends, and caring neighbors. Likewise, there are folks who aren’t around the lingo, expectations, and unwritten rules that go along with being part of a specific community, even church. Before you judge the person who isn’t participating in a dinner out because she doesn’t have money for a babysitter… Before you judge the person walking down the street filthy, spending two times as much money for the milk at the closest store within walking distance because they have no way to get to the more cost-effective store… Before you judge the parent who put their child on a device at the restaurant… Before you judge the child who is screaming their head off for not getting a piece of candy… Before all of that, pray and realize the beautiful privileges God has given you. Yes, some will still want to weaponize the word ‘privilege’ in racial discussions. Some want to weaponize this word in their own jealousy. But, let’s discuss biblical privilege and explore what God would have us understand about the concept of privilege. Remember, we believers - no matter what skin color, nation, or culture we have - we believers have the same eternal privilege. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” Also, we believers have the Holy Spirit indwelling us so we can express the fruit of the Spirit even when our flesh calls out for the opposite. Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” We believers grieve with hope. 1 Thessalonians 4:13 “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, concerning those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve like the rest, who have no hope.” These are privileges that we did nothing for: Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” You know, I didn’t realize how truly privileged I am to be married to a good and Godly man who even when he messes up, repents and asks for forgiveness. It is, apparently, a small group of women who have men like that. When I speak to other women about relationships with their husbands, I must realize the privilege that my husband has given me. I didn’t, at first, of course. It took the hurting heart of another woman who had shared her story with me to point out - in not so kind terms - that while, yes, our husbands had made similar mistakes in our marriages, my husband was repentant and willing to work on our marriage. Her husband was not and wanted her to simply forgive and forget without any change on his part. Be open to the truth of your biblical, financial, educational, community, status, and other types of privilege or lack. It is ok to see the advantages God has afforded you and your family. As you reach out to one another in love, be kind. Be blessed!…
F
Five Minute Family
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Does your family use nicknames? Many of us have affectionate, endearing nicknames to our friends and family members. Some of our children have nicknames that they use as their main name; I have a nickname that I am known by to everyone I meet. Some of us only allow the people closest to us use our nicknames without bristling that the other person has crossed an unspoken boundary. Some folks love to use already in-place nicknames because the nicknames make the speaker closer and more in touch with the other person. And, still yet, some people love to give others a nickname of their own making. But, just like labels, nicknames can bring people closer together or they can tear them apart. There are good nicknames and there are bad nicknames. Folks prone to nicknaming everyone are quite often not in tune with the disrespect or even hurt they are inflicting and, ultimately, how they are undermining the relationship. A basketball coach when I was in high school called me “Wanda Wideload.” Mind you, it was only in the last eight years that I have actually been overweight, but, as a teenager, I thought I was fat, especially with supposedly safe adults calling me “Wanda Wideload” every single day of high school because I worked in his office every day. Eventually, in hurt and anger, I started calling him “Lardy Larry,” which he just laughed away, but the hurt he inflicted as a trusted adult in my life was already done. Not all nicknames will inflict that type of lasting hurt. The nicknamed person may accept that you won’t stop using the nickname even after they have politely asked you to stop - sometimes on more than one occasion. They may forgive you completely for disrespecting their boundary and request, buuut most often, polite acceptance is actually coupled with knowing you are someone NOT to be trusted and that you do not respect boundaries. If you cannot accept a boundary about something as simple as a nickname, then how are you to be trusted in anything bigger? How does this apply to your family? Think about the nicknames you use. For example, our youngest has been known as Jojo since birth. He even still introduces himself that way sometimes, but he has begun to introduce himself as Joe or Joseph more and more often. At some point, he may ask us to stop using his nickname. Since it is a term of endearment, it will be difficult to drop, but for the stage of life where it bothers him, we will do our best to use the name he uses. Here are some tips when dealing with nicknames: If someone is using a nickname you do not like, hold a proper boundary. It is ok to say, “please don’t call me that.” You can even say, “I prefer” - and then say the name you prefer. Never forget Proverbs 15:1 which says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” If someone has asked you to stop using a nickname, you need to respect that by putting in the effort. Our nephew started going by a different name after we had moved away. It is still hard all these years later, but we try, and he seems to appreciate our effort to do so. Note that not all nickname changes come from aging. Sometimes, a person fills pigeon-holed or insulted by a nickname. No matter the reason, put in the effort and apologize when you forget. If you use a nickname for someone that YOU came up with, you need to check in with them and make sure that they are ok with your using it. Here’s a caveat to that, if they have already asked you not to call them that, then don’t and don’t ask if you can use it. Asking again puts them in the awkward position of reiterating what you already know but don’t want to accept. Annnd, they may give in, but again, the relationship may be chipped away each time you use that nickname. Families are the ultimate place to practice God’s one anothering concepts, and using or not using nicknames in ways that help your loved ones feel encouraged and empowered is quite important. In this way you readily apply Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.” Thank you for joining us this morning. May God guide you as you communicate clearly and kindly with those you love the most. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. While the rain has been falling quite a bit both literally and figuratively, we are thankful to the Lord for His provision of water to grow the plants and His love to get through the storms. Here at Clear View Retreat, we never deny that tough things happen in life. But, we do not go through any difficulties on earth without Hope - His Hope. We desire to be part of the equipping solution, pointing you and ourselves to God’s healing and guiding Word to bring us through any highs or lows that come along as we seek Him. Last week, we began a two-part series about labels. But, today, we want to focus on the positive, and the reality is that some labels CAN BE good. They can be helpful, and they are sometimes necessary. Additionally, positive labels help a family build a stronger family identity. And, those family identity labels need to be grounded in God’s Word. The first label to explore today is MINE. No, we aren’t referring to the movie seagulls screaming out, “MINE, MINE, MINE” in selfishness. Isaiah 43:1 says, “Now this is what the Lord says—the one who created you, Jacob, and the one who formed you, Israel—“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are mine.” God says we are HIS. He claims us as His own. He does not say we are His if we are good enough, if we behave well enough, if we make enough, if we achieve enough. We are HIS because He called us. The second label is CHILDREN. 1 John 4:4 is one of the verses that God has in His word referring to us as children - “You are from God, little children, and you have conquered them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” And, as Lisa Whittle writes, “Jesus did not create us to wear the labels of this world, even the ones we place on ourselves. Instead, He created us as His ‘dearly loved children’ (Ephesians 5:1).” Dearly loved children, we are held close to the Lord. He labels us because He loves us even better than we love our children. We take care of them, we teach them, we support them, but we are HIS children. The third label we’ll discuss today is COMMUNITY. In Romans 12:3-8 God reminds us that we are members of one another. Specifically, in verse 5, “in the same way we who are many are one body in Christ and individually members of one another.” Additionally, labels help provide a sense of community. The community is something your family or family member is involved with, or it can even be a literal support group helping you better understand your family’s unique challenges - whether that is due to an illness or ongoing need. The fourth label is CAPABLE. My favorite verses of the Bible are 2 Peter 1:5-8, “Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” My fellow five minute families, you are capable. You won’t get it all right, all at once, but we are each capable of growing closer and closer to God and becoming more and more like His Son every day. The fifth and final label for today is BLAMELESS. Colossians 1:22 points out, “Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and BLAMELESS as you stand before him without a single fault.” Last week, we included 1 Samuel 16:7 and intentionally left off the last part - “but the Lord looks on the heart.” Labels can destroy us if they are misused, but they can also give us motivation and proper self-development. We can seek God’s will and know that as He looks on our hearts, He will guide us into good goals and proper environments, and having proper labels of who we are IN Christ and who we are TO Christ are of paramount importance. Five Minute families, as we walk into a new week, we need to think about the labels we have placed on ourselves and our loved ones. Evaluate what labels you are using, and ask God to lead your family into a greater understanding of who He is and who you are in Him. Thank you for joining us today. We pray that God will guide your endeavors and lead you in growing your five minutes a day with your family into a lifetime of love, support, and compassion. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Thank you for joining us today. We are Jim and Kim Nestle with Clear View Retreat, located in beautiful East Tennessee. We want to encourage your family to live lives pleasing to the Lord. That involves being intentional in how you relate to one another. And, one of the ways folks relate is to label each other. Labeling can actually have both negative and positive effects, so let’s break down the labeling process over the next two weeks, and see how we need to only label in God-honoring ways. Have you heard phrases like: “Don’t label me,” “I don’t do labels,” “Don’t put your labels on me,” or “I don’t want to be labeled?” All of those are demonstrating the very real heart attitude for a need to be seen as the unique and wonderful individuals we each are. Labeling a person can possibly restrict their potential. God has a plan and a purpose for every single human being on this earth, and if we insult someone with a label meant to belittle or restrict them, then we are dishonoring God. If you do an internet search with the keyword phrase “Bible verses about labeling,” most of the information that pops up begins with the negative side of labeling. A small sample of those verses include: Matthew 7:1-2 Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance...” Romans 14:13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. John 7:24 Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment. James 2:4 Have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? People throughout human history have been tribal. We will divide along any line we can find. Back in history, people divided by their literal tribe. Folks divide by nationality, by color, by educational experience. People are so tribal that even Apple has maximized on that tribalism by demonizing phones that are not theirs, lessening the quality of images shared, and more. Android-using phones might do it, too, though that is much harder to identify since there are numerous non-Apple “tribes” and only the one Apple tribe. What does tribalism have to do with labeling? Well, a lot actually. We have a tendency to label what we do not yet fully understand in order to lessen our own discomfort in the unknown. And, quite honestly, when someone does not think like we do, act like do, or believe what we believe, we want to lessen our own discomfort and frustration by slapping a label on them and walking away. We will never win an argument by labeling the people who disagree with us. That’s because labeling causes frustration especially if we are not entirely accurate and/or the person is unhappy with that label. If the label is perceived negatively in society or within the person’s own family, no matter how accurate, the label will be viewed as an insult. Let’s take for example the fact that when Christ-followers first began being labeled as “Christians” it was meant as an insult. Then, the group embraced being known as “little Christ’s” and then as time marched forward, Christ-followers began to distance themselves from the label that had been overused and corrupted by evil people who hide their evil acts behind misused and misrepresented Bible verse. Labels often reveal unfounded assumptions and negative stereotypes. No one wants to be grouped with the worst of the people who share something in common with themselves. Something bad may have happened to you to accept or believe a negative stereotype. Our niece who did not homeschool once watched a comedian with us who was doing a homeschool parody song. We were all laughing hysterically because it was so far from the truth, but because she didn’t see us very often and had had a bad experience with a homeschool person, she couldn’t understand why we were laughing about being made fun because she thought it was all true. Now, that is a more light-hearted application of the negative stereotype, but we all know that unfortunately, some harsh and groundless labels can cause major division and heartache if we are not careful. Watch your words. Be careful with your assumptions about a person, a family, a church, and more. Take heart Proverbs 16:24 “Pleasant words are a honeycomb: sweet to the taste and health to the body.” Be careful when using labels. Join us next week as we discuss the positive aspects of labeling and how a family can further its own family identity by using labels well. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Would you rather have 100 pennies or 4 quarters? In terms of ease of carrying the money and paying with the money, most of us would choose 4 quarters. Now, let’s think about those times in school when we had to write a paper for the English teacher… how many of us sat down and wrote the paper the night before it was due, even if we were supposed to have an outline and other pre-writing work turned in with it? Most English teachers will assign the various prewriting work as well as the drafting and editing phases to be turned in prior to the paper due date in order to make sure we are working on the tasks in a timely and organized way. But, what do 100 pennies and English teachers have to do with one other? I watched a social media video the other day by a beautiful young lady who was sharing her ADHD experience of activity and inactivity with the analogy of 100 pennies or four quarters. I accidentally hit the back arrow and couldn’t find it again so I cannot give her proper credit; nonetheless, her point was… Do you accomplish your tasks like counting out 100 pennies or 4 quarters? The English teacher who breaks down a big paper into separate tasks and has you turn in the parts as you go is a 100 pennies person. They are making sure you are doing the task methodically and carefully. And, for an English paper, I would agree that the 100 pennies approach will often be the most fruitful. However, the accomplishment of most tasks in our daily lives, neither the 100 pennies or the 4 quarters is correct or better. They both equal a dollar, but the overall look of the broken down tasks and the time it takes to complete them looks very different. So, if you are a 100 pennies parent and you have a 4 quarters child, you may end up with a lot of conflict in the house. Of course, just as there are numerous ways to make a dollar, there are numerous ways to accomplish a task in different chunks of time. We might be 10 dime parents with 20 nickel kids. We might even have times when we are full dollar parents because of the urgency or timing of a needed task. Parents, sometimes we forget the vast differences available in accomplishing the same task (or the tasks that we each have set before us). We hear verses like Ephesians 5:15–16 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Psalm 90:12 teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Colossians 4:5 Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Luke 14:28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? John 9:4 We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work. And, after hearing those verses, if we are ‘100 pennies’ constant working a little at a time people, we may view our 4 quarters kiddo as lazy or ‘less than.’ Remember, Galatians 6:9 “Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up.” If you are both accomplishing the tasks that are set before you, then just like the quantity of money is equal, the work is equal. Five Minute parent, you may have to adjust your actual view of the other person. The same is true in reverse. If mom is 4 quarters but the kiddo needs a task to be 100 pennies, it is incumbent upon the parent to explain and help the child accomplish their task in ‘100 penny’ format. That can be a lot harder to achieve sometimes; we have to be self-aware and equip ourselves to meet the needs and changes that will help each family member achieve his or her greatest potential. Which, will ultimately help us as a family achieve the goals we have set for ourselves. Thank you for joining us today. We pray that the eyes of your hearts will be enlightened to God’s hope, glory, and power for your family. We encourage you to be intentional about cultivating a family identity that honors God and the unique qualities He created within each of your family members. If you would like to learn more, please check out our website clearviewretreat.org. Be blessed!…
F
Five Minute Family
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Are you in a season of chaos? In a season that feels where every moment is filled with an expected event and then something comes along to derail or add to that? Today, let’s discuss how a God-honoring family can handle the chaos that inevitably comes in some seasons of life. Of utmost importance is to remember that God is a God of order as 1 Corinthians 14:33 points out, “God is not a God of disorder but of peace.” He can bring order from the perceived? chaos. And, He knows that we live in this sinful, fallen world. He knows intimately that that world will sometimes fall on us. So, if a season of chaos seems to be reigning in your life, remember who is actually on the throne. Take even just five seconds to breath and pray a prayer of thanksgiving that He will sort it all out. He is with us every moment. So, how does your family walk through this season that seems full of disorder and confusion? First, and I know we may sound like a broken record (or for a more modern slang… a loop glitch in a video game), but you must realize that the impact of an event is different for each individual member of your family. Within the family identity you are trying to cultivate, never forget that each member of the family is uniquely and wonderfully made. Second, keep the lines of communication open as you navigate this season of chaos. Try to schedule a family meeting if at all possible. If not, be sure to make plans for future discussions, possibly even keeping notes as things are at the height of the chaos so that you can better remember and address the most pertinent issues. Third, not only do you need to have planned meeting times for dealing with any issues or debriefing about the options or consequences, in the midst of the ongoing chaotic moments, you also need to choose to seek to understand first before trying to be understood and to be kind in that process. Much of the chaos is easier to process if you know what your loved one is thinking and feeling. Fourth, make sure you are examining your thoughts for reality-based expectations. If someone in the family has unrealistic expectations, the season of chaos will be much harder to traverse. Make sure you share your expectations with your family, and if you receive feedback about their unrealistic nature, be prepared to enter again into praying that God will give you a clearer view of what He is orchestrating in your family’s life. And, fifth, be willing to enter into periods of intentional intimacy and intentional avoidance. Each family member will need different levels of interaction time, processing time, quiet time, etc. In a season of chaos, you each need to be intentionally intimate with the Lord through prayer and Bible reading, even more so than you feel you have time for. Likewise, you need to have times of intentional avoidance from loved ones so that you can evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, making sure you are bringing your beliefs to the Lord so that He can direct you in His path, not your own. Just as Isaiah 41:10 tells us, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand.” God will guide you and the family through this season of chaos. He reiterates that in John 16:33 “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous! I have conquered the world.” We will have tribulation, trials, distress, frustration, troubles, and affliction, but what the world intends for harm, God intends for good (Genesis 50:20). We know that seasons come and go, and that we can “glory in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Romans 5:3-4). Five minute families, “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful” as Hebrews 10:23 encourages. Don’t let the world control your family; let God reign through the seasons - including the season of chaos - and you will be amazed at all He has planned and desires for you and your loved ones. Thank you for joining us today. We love to hear feedback from our listeners, so reach out anytime on social media or our webpage clearviewretreat.org. You can also email us at cvr@clearviewretreat.org. Be blessed!…
F
Five Minute Family
Good morning, Five Minute Families. We hope you and yours are doing well this week. As the seasons change here, we are reminded of the constant changes that happen in life, especially in family life. Change does not only happen when big events happen - events such as the birth of a new baby, moving, or a new job. Change comes in our families as our children grow and a new milestone is reached. Think back to all the changes that came with your child’s first step! Change can be exciting and it can also be intimidating, especially when one member of the family is excited for the upcoming change and another member is dreading it. We can never assume the good and wonderful things that we anticipate coming are expected in the same way by our children or our spouse. For example, even something as exciting as your two growing daughters getting their own bedrooms for the first time, may cause a cascade of changes and secondary impacts. One daughter may love it while the other feels extremely lonely. The family as whole may see that the girls stop spending as much time in the living room with the family during mundane, routine events. Other children may feel restricted in the individual, separated bedrooms when they had previously gathered all together in the joint bedroom, leading them to act out. And on and on. So, what can you do to address changes that are happening in a positive and godly way? Always remember to keep the lines of communication open. Never assume that each family member is handling the change in the same way. Ephesians 4:29 reminds us that our communication needs to build one another up and it needs to “fit the occasion” to give grace to those who hear, so you are going to need to stay mindful of listening for what each family member may be saying or not saying due to the change. Likewise, don’t try to “fix” your loved one’s feelings about the change. Accept the feelings. The Bible says in Romans 15:7 “Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.” This goes hand in hand with lines of communication, but do try to gain an accurate understanding of the feelings and thoughts your family member is having surrounding the change. This is not just for you to understand them, but also so that if the family member themselves is holding onto a misunderstanding, misperception, or even blatantly false belief, you can address it lovingly and gently. Keep in mind Proverbs 14:12-13, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief” as well as Proverbs 12:15, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Identify what can be held constant in your family life in order to help family members have a sense a stability in the midst of the change. One constant to always keep in mind is 1 Corinthians 15:58, “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” No matter what is going on, we can stop, pray, study His word, and hold onto God’s truths. And, finally, don’t forget to evaluate the impact of the change on the family identity you are cultivating. When a child goes to school for the first time or leaves for college, the identity of the family alters. Certain things will never change, of course. We are children of God, if we have been saved. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us that “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” And, the Lord created each of us uniquely and wonderfully, so when things change with one of us, He will allow change within the family unit as well. That will give the whole family a chance to grow closer to God and to one another. As you reach out to each other, one anothering and demonstrating kindness, take the time to thank God for the constants and for the changes. Trust Him to grow each of you out of being stagnant while He creates in your family a plan and a purpose to live for Him. He intends for all things to work together for His glory and our good, so if the change that is happening seems overwhelming or quite limiting, God can and will use it for a greater purpose. Lean into Him and into one another. We do thank you for joining us today, and don’t forget to check out our website at clearviewretreat.org. We’d love to hear your thoughts on this or any of our past devotionals, which of course you can hear on your favorite podcast player. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Have you ever heard the words, “I want to be a Christian but I don’t know how?” The simplicity of that question hides the longing and surrender that came before and the further learning that will follow. If you have never had the opportunity to share the gospel message with someone, we hope that you will pray to the Lord that He includes you in someone else’s faith journey. The confusion that comes before and the questions you might get are worth it when you see the hope shine in someone’s eyes. As a Christ-centered family, we all must be careful to NOT contribute to the confusion and questions that our loved ones will face, especially our children. When we were in Panama on our mission trip, we presented the gospel, asked if anyone would like to pray, and then prayed aloud so that if anyone wanted to make their confession of faith, they could do so. We did not ask a bunch of theological questions first. We did not make sure that they were in perfect alignment, doctrinally speaking. We took to heart the straightforward message of Romans 10:9-11, “That you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” Five Minute families, we know that not all of the people who make a profession of faith have come to know the Lord. Some thought they had to say it to get something. Some did not understand. Some just love the attention. But, that isn’t really for us to decide. We must take them on their word that they have made a profession of faith. Then, discipleship begins. On a short-term international mission trip, the discipleship aspect falls to the local church (and we must pray for the local church in earnest), but at home, we have to make sure that we have presented the gospel message without all the worldly frustrations, traditions, and confusions that we may add to it unknowingly. It is good for our children to know the story of David and Goliath, Moses and Egypt, Samson, and more, but they need to know primarily the good news of Jesus Christ. We encourage you to take a moment to pray for your immediate family members. Think about their needs; ask God to open a door to discuss their faith journey. Maybe they will share with you that moment that God illuminated His truth in their life and we will see that you have a brother or sister in Christ sitting before you. Or, you might realize that while your loved can find and memorize Scripture and tell you the proper answer to every Bible story, he or she might not have had a moment in which God called him to Himself. He may not even fully understand what the gospel message actually is. If that is the case, then make sure you don’t inundate your family member with a bunch of demanding questions. Ask God to reveal to you which Scriptures to share and what points to discuss. Be prepared at all times to share the gospel message with anyone who crosses your path, but likewise, be prepared to share the gospel message to someone you know has heard it in some form a hundred times before at church events. Maybe you learned to share the salvation story through what some commonly call the “Romans Road” or maybe you have heard of the “Share Jesus Without Fear” questions, and you prefer that method. Whatever God impresses upon you and wherever He leads, be faithful to open the discussion about whether or not your loved one is saved. Now, don’t ask them every day or try to convince them if they do not make a profession of faith right then and there. You are not the Holy Spirit. But, you are to be a faithful servant of the Lord, and you can open the discussion, and even if it breaks down, you can ask permission to circle back again in the future. Remember, five minute parents, the conversations with our children can be confusing to them. They might not understand the difference between “believe” and “believe in your heart.” They might be afraid of giving the wrong answer, so they shut down even as they are responding to God’s call. They might get confused that they have to pray a specific prayer, a specific way or they are not saved. Be sensitive to the prompting of the Holy Spirit to lead you as you lead your children in the truth and knowledge of Him. Be blessed!…
F
Five Minute Family
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Kim and I had a wonderful opportunity to go with our two youngest sons on an international mission trip. Our many thanks go out to the local church members who supported us and the entire team. While we may not all be able to go, we can all be mission-minded with our time, talents, and prayers. With our mission trip still fresh in my mind, I had another blessed occasion to share a devotional with the ladies of my church at a special “Tea Party” themed fellowship. As I researched the positive effects of herbal teas, I came across this quote: “herbal teas are a unique class among beverages and function as a cornerstone in physical and mental well-being.” It was the word ‘cornerstone’ that caught my eye. As Acts 4:11 points out, Jesus is the believer’s cornerstone. All that we do, say, have, want, and need should be squared properly on the ultimate cornerstone. Exactly, and so with a play on words ending in the -tea sound, I built on the cornerstone of Jesus Christ for the devotional message at our tea party. Here are five figurative -teas that God would have us Christ-followers make sure that we have, do, or be. The first -tea God wants for us is CERTAINTY. Certainty for our SALVATION. We are free from doubt of where our eternal home will be. John 5:24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.” The assurance and confidence we have in Christ’s sacrifice is the foundation for all of our earthly living. The second -tea is CLARITY. We need to gain clear understanding of God’s word so that we grow in SANCTIFICATION. Sanctification is the process of growing more and more Christlike, and as John 17:17-19 states, “Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. I sanctify myself for them, so that they also may be sanctified by the truth. As Jesus prayed for His disciples, so we must pray for one another.” Each of us will go through struggles, but we must keep God’s truth at the forefront of our minds and pray for one another when effective communication and decision-making are needed in our walk with the Lord. The third -tea is CAPABILITY. 1 Peter 4:10-11 says, “Just as each one has received a gift, use it to serve others, as good stewards of the varied grace of God. If anyone speaks, let it be as one who speaks God’s words; if anyone serves, let it be from the strength God provides, so that God may be glorified through Jesus Christ in everything.” We each have different TALENTS, different abili--ty. Just as one person is the head, someone else is a foot. We each are necessary for our biblical community. And, that brings us to our fourth -tea COMMUNITY. A biblical community is a group of Christ followers fostering a sense of belonging and support. That is concept called ONE ANOTHERING. The phrase "one another” appears about 100 times in the New Testament, 59 of those occurrences are specific commands teaching us how (and how not) to relate to one another. "Love one another" appears eleven times alone. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.” Likewise, biblical community and one anothering goes hand-in-hand with curiosity such as 1 Corinthians 10:24 encourages, “No one is to seek his own good, but the good of the other person.” We cannot seek the good of someone if we do not know them. We must be inquisitive and eager to engage in community. And, our final -tea to think about today is CONNECTIVITY. Connectivity is the state of being connected or interconnected, highlighting its interlinked, integrated, and unified aspects. UNITY Umm, that can be awfully hard sometimes, but like Jon Bloom at desiringGod.org said, “Our pursuit of unity is designed to give us many opportunities to die to our own sin and bear with the sin of others.” Though they don’t all specifically use the word ‘unity,’ there are well over 100 verses of the Bible that address connectivity through unity. One verse that does specifically use the word unity is Psalm 133:1 -- “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!” But, what does the word dwell mean in the Bible? It means to be fully present in a place or with a person.” If someone upsets us by how they act, what they wear, what they say, etc, we must choose to stay FULLY PRESENT in the relationship. We might need to spend some alone time with the Lord, of course, but He brought this family and biblical community together, and He can bring connectivity if each one of us is willing to come out of our own personal, selfish desires and dwell together in unity. Now, note, that that unity must be based on God’s word, not tradition or personal preferences. No matter what -tea God may have pricked your ears on, remember to call upon His name and He will guide you. In His ultimate authority, the almighty has given us eternity. Drink your tea, five-minute families and be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are so glad you are joining us for the third and final devotion in our comfort zone series. If you missed the other two, please check them out on your favorite podcast app or head over to our website clearviewretreat.org. Comfort zone has its risks and benefits, and as we mentioned at the beginning of this series, the comfort zone can be a tool. If the family comfort zone is used wisely, it can expand your life while keeping you grounded and joyful. Bfreecoaching on reddit wrote it well, so we won’t even try to paraphrase it. They wrote, “Getting out of your comfort zone can inspire you to make changes, but your comfort zone is the sustainable component that empowers you to stick with those changes and receive their full benefits in the long-term. Your comfort zone is where you feel loved, supported, appreciated, valued, secure and worthy; and staying there is how you thrive. So instead of leaving your comfort zone — expand it — so you feel more comfortable doing more things. Then you can create the life you want through comfort and satisfaction, instead of discomfort and fear.” So, we can see the tool analogy we mentioned. Truly, the perfect use of the comfort zone is to find the place wherein the family is applying God’s Word and acting in ways that honor Him while knowing their individual worth by simply being made in His image. If the bad of the comfort zone is ‘feeling over doing or being,’ and the benefits demonstrate the ‘being over doing or feeling,’ then the best application of the family comfort zone is encouraging ‘Doing WHILE being.’ Expand your comfort zone. Here are but five verses to get you started: Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” Galatians 5:1-26 “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” 2 Timothy 2:15 “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.” Mark 16:15 “And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.” James 1:22 “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only.” As your family gains confidence in the routine aspects of the comfort zone and encouraging daily family life, each of you is able to point your focus on other more challenging tasks, tasks that will likely take more mental and physical energy - tasks to expand and enrich your comfort zone. Likewise, after a family comfort zone expansion challenge, meaning your family has pushed the boundaries of the typical comfort zone, either individually or together, you get to then return to better known situations and be renewed to continue the cycle of rejuvenation and expansion of your comfort zone. 2 Peter 3:18 tells us to “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” Growing in grace involves expansion of the comfort zone. It involves loving others who are unknown to you, it involves facing your fears together, it involves being devalued by outsiders but remembering your intrinsic worth. Keeping your focus on God’s truth allows you to feel appreciated even if everyone on the outside of your family comfort zone does not appreciate you. And, so much more. Now, lest you think you have nothing to give, remember 1 Corinthians 12:5-7, “There are different ministries, but the same Lord. And there are different activities, but the same God works all of them in each person. A manifestation of the Spirit is given to each person for the common good.” You have been given an aspect of God’s spirit to work in His kingdom - in your family and in your community. 1 timothy 4:14-15 admonishes us not to “neglect the gift that is in” us and to “Practice these things; be committed to them, so that your progress may be evident to all.” Ask yourselves these questions, “Has my family rightly applied the concept of the family comfort zone?” If not, “how have we failed to create a supportive, loving, godly comfort zone for our family?” OR “how have we allowed the comfort zone to hold us back?” If you do have a good and godly family comfort zone, how can you begin to expand it for your individual goods, collective good, and most importantly, for God’s kingdom? As you contemplate your family comfort zone, we encourage you to pray for and with one another. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Last time we were together, we discussed the risks of staying in the comfort zone. The comfort zone is all about what is known. It is the place or situation in which we feel at ease and without stress. For a reminder, if we fail to heed the risks of the comfort zone, we fall prey to only feeling over doing - our sense of ease over taking action. The good of the comfort zone is that we see that our being - our very existence - is more important than any action we could ever take. Being over doing is the good of the comfort zone. A good biblical example of the good of the comfort zone is Mary of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. Mary stopped her “doing” and entered into a place of “being.” She sat at the feet of Jesus, focusing on the very purpose of life and her existence within His kingdom. Our families are to be comfort zones like when we sit at the feet of Jesus. Our family comfort zone offers safety, security, peace, rest, and support. Let’s start with the first two: safety and security. Those words are often used together, almost synonymously as adjectives, and while safe can also only be a noun and secure can also only be a verb, safe and secure (safety and security) are two sides of the same coin. Safe or safety is more readily defined as the personal feeling or condition of being free from harm whereas secure or security more readily involves the act of protection the efforts or measures that are outside of the person. Proverbs 18:10 demonstrates that “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.” When the family holds tight to God’s word and his power, the family comfort zone should be secure. Job 11:18 “And you will feel secure, because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in security.” How? When a family member is struggling, the family comfort zone allows for a space that is both safe and secure. Think of a child being bullied at school. Having home a respite where the child knows he or she will be able to relax and know that others cannot hurt them there is part of the job of being a parent. Moms and dads, this means that you MUST be monitoring your children’s devices, especially if your child has any social media, texting, or gaming app that allows for more than pre-fab comments. Home is not secure if people are allowed to attack us from the false anonymity of their devices. Next, the family comfort zone should offer peace and rest. A website I found summarized the difference this way, “Peace is a state of calmness and tranquility, while rest is a physical or mental state of relaxation or recovery.” John 16:33 reminds us of God’s peace, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” And, in Exodus 33:14, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” How does a family comfort zone provide peace and rest? First, we need to remember that we are all wired differently. Some family members will need much more sleep than the others. Some will need quieter spaces to find their peace and rest whereas some will feel rested after a fun, loud family game night. To have a family comfort zone that works for each of you, you will need to stay observant and open to different options as needed. And, lastly, a family comfort zone must offer support. Support means to bear all or part of the weight of something. It means to literally hold up if needed. Ecclesiastes 4:12 “And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Every single one of us will need support at some point in our lives. By choosing a family life of one anothering, a family member will always know that even if they mess up royally, they will have the loving support of their family, and yes, that even includes holding them accountable for any bad behavior. God calls us into His righteousness, so support is holding one another up even when we must face the full consequences of our bad actions. Five minute families, is your home a comfort zone? Can you find peace, rest, safety, security, and support from one another? Take a breath, read God’s Word, and ask for forgiveness if you haven’t created a positive and encouraging family comfort zone. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. How are you today? We have been under some chaotic, stressful, filled with unknown type of situations recently, and it got us thinking… wouldn’t it be nice for things to be how they were… comfortable, chill, and known? Known… That is what the comfort zone is all about. The known. The comfort zone is a place or situation where we feel safe, at ease, and without stress. Some say the comfort zone is good; some say it is bad. Some say it is neither good nor bad. We say that the comfort zone can be a tool, and if used wisely, can expand your life while keeping you grounded and joyful. But, before we dive into the good and wise uses of the comfort zone, let’s focus this first week in our “Comfort Zone” series to address the pitfalls that come from returning to or staying too long in the comfort zone. If you settle into your comfort zone and then begin to value feeling over doing, you will find yourself with a host of problems. First, the comfort zone will quickly and easily allow someone to become complacent. Complacency is being pleased with ourselves without awareness of some potential danger or defect. It is most basically summarized as self-satisfaction. Luke 6:46 warns against this when it says, “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?” Complacency in action often means inaction in reality. James 4:17 cautions us, “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” Second, the comfort zone has led many folks in complicity. Complicity is “the state of being involved with others in an illegal activity or wrongdoing.” Now, we aren’t meaning full blown illegal behavior necessarily, but being complicit in the family’s comfort zone, might be starting another episode of the show you have been binge watching when you know your brother or sister hasn’t gotten anything done that they were supposed to do that day. We see this biblically in Exodus 32. Aaron is asked by the Israelites to return to the comfort zone of polytheistic worship, and he steps right back into that comfort zone with them by creating the Golden Calf. Third, the comfort zone offers us protections from the fear of the unknown. The uneasiness created within us when we are doing something new can lead to disharmony and frustration among our family members. When one of us is uneasy, it can rub off on the others, so the comfort zone may keep us looking inward (and ultimately creating even more unknowns). We cry out “There’s a lion outside” like the slacker in Proverbs 22:13, but the lion is in our imaginations. Fourth, the comfort zone leads us to settling for “just enough” and thus avoiding exceling. Settling in the comfort zone typically means the basic needs are met, but our wants and deepest desires are not. Proverbs 13:4 informs us that “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing.” Matthew 6:33 tells us to “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” But, if we are stuck in the comfort zone in our family, we won’t challenge ourselves and each other to achieve more for the kingdom of God or for our loved ones. Fifth, the comfort zone gives us a false sense of control. For anyone who has heard me speak about the illusion of control, you know that we cannot give into the false truths that come from thinking that we can control all the minutia of how our lives will go. Proverbs 16:9 reminds us that “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” We do not control the world around us, nor the people in our families or biblical communities, but the comfort zone brings that illusion. Is your home a limiting, avoidant comfort zone? Much of life is about balancing risks and rewards. Be aware of the risks of the comfort zone, so that you and your loved ones can avoid the pitfalls. Do not let the risks of the comfort zone overwhelm your home and your family. Next week, we are going to chat about the good of the comfort zone, so don’t miss it! Thank you for joining us today. Please be sure to check out our website clearviewretreat.org for upcoming family events at our retreat located in Lancing, Tennessee, or drop us a comment on our facebook, instagram, or x pages. Be blessed!…
F
Five Minute Family
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Have you ever gone snow skiing before? Some people have great spatial and physical awareness. And, for them, skiing becomes a dream of freedom and fun. For others, however, snow skiing when you do not yet have full awareness can be quite frightening. Now, if you have a parent or spouse who was told how to control their skis, and they have the spatial and physical awareness, skiing was easy for them. A few runs to get the full gist of when and how to control the force of gravity acting upon your body, and they were ready for more challenging slopes. For those of us who do not have that type of spatial and physical awareness, being introduced to the more difficult runs too soon can be a painful or terrifying experience. Why mention that? Because, parents, you may have experiences with your spouse or child in which you have the spiritual knowledge or emotional skills to understand the forces acting on you and your family and handle those experiences completely differently than your spouse or child even though they have been exposed to the same set of current circumstances but whose past experiences (or nonexistent experiences) have not prepared them to handle the new experience well. Another example, are those younger children who are allowed to participate in older children’s activities due to their parents’ involvement. The adults do not realize that they are setting the younger children up for attitudes of hubris since these younger children have the security of a new experience with mom or dad nearby while, when it is finally an age-appropriate activity, they have comparative few fears or concerns and often sit in judgment and pride toward other children their own age experiencing the situation for the first time - but those friends are without the security of their parents around. None of the kids really understand the experiential or emotional differences. And, unfortunately, it happens more than the adults realize. The set-up is for the adults’ convenience sake, but the offense to the other children judged by the advantaged ones is still very real. Those are just two of uncountable examples of an imbalances or differences in experience, maturity, awareness, physical ability, and more. How do we five-minute families deal with these within our own families and communities? First, we must remember the concept of 2 Peter 1: 5-8. We each have different measures of qualities that need to be refined and strengthened. “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with goodness, goodness with knowledge, knowledge with self-control, self-control with endurance, endurance with godliness, godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if you possess these qualities and they are increasing, they will keep you from being useless or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Families, remember that not everyone knows what you know or can do what you do. Second, don’t let age be your only gauge. I once heard an elderly woman say, “I am old, so listen to me” even though she had completely missed the point of what the younger (middle aged) man was saying. Elihu’s words in Job 32 to Job and his three friends immediately came to mind. He said, “I am young in years, while you are old; therefore I was timid and afraid to tell you what I know. I thought that age should speak and maturity should teach wisdom. But it is the spirit in a person—the breath from the Almighty—that gives anyone understanding. It is not only the old who are wise or the elderly who understand how to judge.” Now, please don’t mis-hear us. Be respectful of your elders, but elders, you need to also be respectful of those younger than you. Third, slow down. Nothing can summarize that better than James 1:19, “My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” We must take a moment and let God’s word be our guide, not our flesh. Fourth, seek Godly counsel. Speak with a pastor, coach, mentor, or counselor if you or a loved one is struggling in some way - whether it is because you are struggling with the differences in how you see your situation or for some other reason. Proverbs 19:20 as well as many other verses advise us, to “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” Fifth, never forget to pray about the situation you find yourself in. Of course, that goes for everything since we are to pray without ceasing, but James 1:5 applies here especially, “Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God—who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly—and it will be given to him.” Five minute families, we have the opportunity to strengthen our weaknesses and share our strengths when we realize our differences in abilities and work together for the glory of God. May you and your loved ones be blessed this week!…
F
Five Minute Family
Good morning, Five Minute Families. How are you doing this week? Do you have your daily, intentional family time carved out and part of your routine yet? If not, please take five minutes to go back and listen to the very first Five Minute Family podcast on your favorite podcast player. Our hope for your family is that you grow closer to one another, seeing the uniqueness of each individual creating a distinctive and amazing family identity. Today, let’s discuss the concept of waiting, the concept of “not yet.” Have you ever trained a dog? My sister trained our childhood dog to “wait” despite his favorite treat - a slice of cheese - being placed on the floor in front of him. He would look away, eyeball the cheese, and then look up at her expectantly. It was hard, but he knew that she always gave him good and wonderful things - her love, her attention, his needs met, and treats - yummy, yummy treats. There were times that if he listened and left the piece of cheese alone on the ground, she would give him a bigger one, and then, almost always he got the one that had been placed before him as well. Now, obviously, we are not created to be obedient dogs to the Lord, but we could learn a lot from them. When we dream something and it seems almost possible but not yet quite attainable, do we trust our Lord and Savior to do what is best for His glory and our good, or do we try to scoot around and get closer to dream another way? Do we just reach out and grab it when it isn’t the best timing? To further the dog analogy, we could have had two pieces of cheese if we had waited but we didn’t. We must remember in our time of “not yet” that God may be preparing us to be ready to receive properly. Philippians 1:6 says, “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Often times, God is protecting us from something we cannot see. Psalm 3:3 states, “But you, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.” At the time of Kim’s sister training their dog, there had been some evil people leaving poisoned food along the walkways to harm animals. Their dog needed to follow her commands in order to be protected from this danger. “Not yet” seasons are often growth seasons. We might not be able to see the work being done on our roots, but when the moment arrives, the strength that we have gained allows us to appreciate the dream, the goal, or even the peace all the more. Don’t forget what God says in James 1:2, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” Isaiah 55:8 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.” It is not yet time. Psalm 27:14 reads “Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Sometimes, five-minute families, it is simply not yet time. We have to remember all the things that God has brought us through so that we can trust Him in this season of “not yet,” too. And, never forget that God may have said “not yet” because He actually has a new direction for you to follow. Colossians 1:9 - “And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding.” We will still stay on the right path as one blogger wrote, but we must remember that the right path is God’s path, and so if He leads you to a place of not yet and then redirects you, He does have a plan and a purpose. As Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, we must “Trust in the Lord with all our heart; and lean not on our own understanding. We must acknowledge Him, and He will direct our paths.” We need to be unwavering in holding onto God as we walk this life together. When one of us in the family experiences frustration or difficulty in the season of “not yet,” then we get to encourage one another, sharing stories of God’s faithfulness, either from His word or from our own lives. We thank you for joining us this week and God bless!…
F
Five Minute Family
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Do you feel stuck, ill-equipped, or unknowledgeable? Think back to your early years of schooling. You weren’t born knowing how to read; you went through a process to learn how to read. The thing is that most of us forget the process of the things we now know and begin to do automatically. However, when something challenging comes along, we are often frustrated that we do not know or understand how to handle the situation. Don’t forget, though, that growing in the Lord as a family is a process, and we each have to learn how to hold to Him and extend His grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Whenever you feel discouraged or unaware, remember the word “yet.” So, “I don’t know” becomes “I don’t know YET.” “I don’t understand”… “I don’t understand YET.” Remember what James wrote in James 1:5, “Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God—who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly—and it will be given to him.” That verse doesn’t say you will know immediately when something happens, especially as a family with various levels of biblical knowledge and application. Take a breath and pray for wisdom to come. Remember, in Psalm 27:14, we are reminded to wait for the Lord. Here are five suggestions: Refocus your mind on Christ. James 3:13-17 Who among you is wise and understanding? By his good conduct he should show that his works are done in the gentleness that comes from wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart, don’t boast and deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come down from above but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where there is envy and selfish ambition, there is disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without pretense. Seek godly counsel. Proverbs 19:20 Listen to counsel and receive instruction so that you may be wise later in life. Control your emotions. Ephesians 4:26-27 “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger and do not give the devil an opportunity.” Emotions are normal, how you respond to those emotions is the challenge set before us. Be humble. Don’t try to get ahead of the Lord like Sarah did. Remember 1 Corinthians 3:18-20, “Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks he is wise in this age, let him become a fool so that he can become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God, since it is written, He catches the wise in their craftiness; and again, The Lord knows that the reasonings of the wise are futile.” Stay hopeful. As Psalm 130:5 says, “I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope.” Five minute families, none of us know everything we need to know to deal with the issues that will arise. The flipside of the encouraging “yet” is, for example, we will face death in our immediate families, but we have not yet. We will face addiction in our family or biblical community, but we have not yet. We will have moments of overwhelm, irritation, rebellion, disinterest, and so much more, in our families, even if we haven’t yet. Don’t let “yet” be a negative word in your home. Hold tight to God’s truth that nothing is new under the sun and that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of all knowledge (Proverbs 1:7). Since wisdom resides in the heart of the discerning (Proverbs 14:33), we know that by holding onto God in difficult or simply confusing times, we can come out the other side, praising Him and being even more effective to share His truth and light to those around us who are hurting. Steve Laube put it this way, “In every sense Jesus is our “yet.” Everything before Him pales when compared to the after.” John 1: 11-12 says, “He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” And again we see ‘yet’ in John 11:25, “Jesus said unto her, ‘I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.'” Don’t despair with “We can’t seem to get grace, mercy, and forgiveness right…” “We can’t seem to get grace, mercy, and forgiveness right…yet!” Add the yet! Adopt an attitude of ‘yet.’ As Jeff Schreve wrote, “Yet is an encouraging word of faith that drives away the gloom of doubt and disbelief.” You’ll get there, families. Trust God and be blessed!…
F
Five Minute Family
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Tying back to our last 2023 devotion about demonstrating emotions, today we want to explore the Bible verses surrounding the appropriateness of emotions themselves. I watched a reel that demonstrated someone coming to their spouse and sharing that the spouse’s behavior had made them feel badly. The spouse immediately got defensive and said that they weren’t mean. To skip to the summary, the spouse felt if they agreed with their significant other’s feelings, then the spouse would be admitting they were wrong. But, feelings about a situation are not right or wrong. As Jon Bloom at desiringGod.org writes, “Feelings are a gauge, not a guide.” Jesus had feelings. He wept, which indicates he felt sadness and loss. We know he was distressed in Mark 14. He felt and had compassion for those around him. He got frustrated when he was at the temple, and we know he felt tempted but, of course, never sinned. If Jesus had feelings, we do not have to adopt an attitude of stoicism to be a good Christian. Thankfully, we know that God created emotions and emotions themselves are neither bad nor good. It is what we do with our emotions that matter. Remember, like we said in our past devotion, it is ok to have big emotions, but it is what we do with those emotions that matters most. As Christ-followers, we can be emotional beings, not the negative connotation of emotional, but the willingness to allow ourselves and others to feel, acknowledge, accept, and process their emotions. When someone we love dies, even after a long and painful season, we can be sad, we can weep, we can allow ourselves to feel the levels of loss that that person’s death will bring to our lives. Sometimes, our bodies will go through a period of change, of depression, of chemical imbalances. There is a time for everything, including the emotions that seem undesirable. It is through the undesirable emotions of loss, frustration, grief, and more that we learn about our loved ones - both those who are left behind and those who have died. It is through undesirable emotions that we often learn more about ourselves - what motivates us, what triggers us, what causes us to get up and get moving each morning. You get the idea. So, let’s talk about five more emotions addressed in the Bible. First, delight. In Psalm 37:4, we read, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” Delight. We are allowed to feel pleasure, to feel good about our lives, our families. That delight must begin with the Lord. Second, affection. Romans 12:10 tells us to “Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Take the lead in honoring one another.” We can enjoy being with someone - a husband, a friend, a church family member. We can feel fondly for one another and enjoy being together. Third, fear. Remember, nowhere in the Bible do we read that Jesus felt fear. And, God’s word tells us, according to some, 365 times not to fear. If God’s word addresses fear that many times, then we know that we are going to experience it, but let’s take those fearful thoughts captive, and turn the spirit of fear on its head as Luke 12:4-5 encourages us to do, “I say to you, my friends, don’t fear those who kill the body, and after that can do nothing more. But I will show you the one to fear: Fear him who has authority to throw people into hell after death. Yes, I say to you, this is the one to fear!” Fourth, anger. So many Christians think if they get angry, they are sinning. Jesus got angry, yet He did not sin. As Psalm 37:8 points out, “Refrain from anger and give up your rage; do not be agitated—it can only bring harm.” I think Ephesians 4:26 says it a little better, “Be angry and do not sin.” And, fifth, joy. We know Jesus felt joy. In John 15, He tells us to abide in the Father so that His joy will be in us and our joy will be made full. We also know from Psalm 5:11 that when we take refuge in God, we will shout for joy forever. Feel your feelings; do not suppress them. Evaluate your particular emotion’s usefulness in the moment. Will expressing it in an impulsive way achieve the goal you desire? When our niece told us they were expecting, I shouted with joy. I never thought I’d be the person to do so - we’ve all seen the videos, but that was an emotional response worth sharing. Yet, maybe the frustration with your child for not understanding how to complete a task despite hearing you explain it ten times and showing them twice as many - yeah, maybe that frustrated response would be better kept under your self-control and a well-thought out response would be better. Love big, laugh out loud, and enjoy one another as God intends. Be blessed!…
F
Five Minute Family
Good morning, Five Minute Families. Most of us who were raised in the church have heard at some point, “Don’t run or play in the sanctuary.” We get to know the sanctuary as a room in the church building. But, truly what does sanctuary mean and how does that impact the five-minute family? For most of history, the word sanctuary referred to the holiest of holy places in a church, usually where the Lord’s supper was taken. Sanctuary has both literal and figurative meanings in today’s usage. Most people refer to any place wherein they feel safe and secure as a sanctuary. Folks today who are seeking refuge, may literally go into a church and ask for figurative sanctuary. Sanctuary has basically two main meanings in the Bible. In the old covenant, the sanctuary is a physical space considered the holiest of holies, and only the high priest is allowed to enter once a year, and if he was unclean, he would die. In Exodus 25:8, God says, “And let them make me a sanctuary, that I may dwell in their midst.” The sanctuary was a physical place for the presence of the one true God. Jeremiah 17:12 further describes it with “A glorious throne set on high from the beginning” as “the place of our sanctuary.” As Hebrews 9 declares in verses 8 and 9, “The Holy Spirit was making it clear that the way into the most holy place had not yet been disclosed while the first tabernacle was still standing. This is a symbol for the present time, during which gifts and sacrifices are offered that cannot perfect the worshiper’s conscience.” Continuing in verse 11 that Christ came as a high priest, entering the most holy place for all time by His own blood. With this new covenant, Christ is our sanctuary. He is the high priest who brings us into the presence of the Most High God. As we wrote this, Kim battled with these two questions: 1. Is the reason we have reduced the meaning of the word sanctuary from the holiest of holies to a personal safe place because we have slowly replaced God in our society with the little ‘g’ god of self? 2. Or, have we finally allowed ourselves to fully grasp that God is everywhere, and we can step into His holiness at any time because of the great work of Jesus Christ on the cross? And, honestly, I think it is both/and, not either/or. If we allow ourselves to focus on the feeling of calm, the lack of conflict, or the desire for comfort, we can certainly - very quickly and easily - replace the one True God with our little ‘g’ god-selves. HOWEVER, if we focus on God and realize that He is so much more than a room in a building, then we have allowed Him to transform our stilted, “don’t run here” thinking into welcoming Him into every facet of our lives, bringing joy, peace, calm, and comfort, no matter what storm may rage around us. As Ezekiel 11:16 says, “Though I removed them far off among the nations, and though I scattered them among the countries, yet I have been a sanctuary to them for a while in the countries where they have gone.” So, how does a five-minute family become a sanctuary for the Lord and for those in the family itself? 1. Be spirit led. Galatians 5:16-18, the Apostle Paul tells us to “walk by the Spirit.” Walking by the Spirit means we choose love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. 2. Be in God’s Word daily. This is hard. Trust us, we know. There are distractions galore. Kim and I are in God’s Word daily, but we often fail to get into the word every day with our children. We don’t have any regular schedule, and this makes it that much harder. We don’t say that to make excuses; we say it to let you know we understand. We are right there with you if this is an area of struggle for your family. 3. We must set our minds on God. He says in Psalm 91:14, “Because he has his heart set on me, I will deliver him; I will protect him because he knows my name.” To set our minds on God, we must choose to think about God throughout our days, not just during our daily reading or at church. 4. Be authentic. Just as Paul was authentic in 1 Corinthians 2. Remember, he did not go to them proclaiming Christ with lofty speech or wisdom. He spoke of nothing but Jesus Christ and him crucified. Paul went to them in his weakness in fear and in trembling. His speech and message were not the orator’s best, but the Holy Spirit used Paul’s authenticity to show the power of God. 5. Be forgiving. No one feels safe if they aren’t sure if they will be attacked at any time for a past mistake. As Ephesians 4 reminds us, “Forgive as God forgave you.” Live for God, be His sanctuary, and offer sanctuary to one another by striving for God’s excellence in your lives. Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. This is our first devotional in 2024. As many are doing, we are taking this time to reflect back on last year and look forward to the new one. In years past, we have made different suggestions for families to have intentional discussions surrounding the newness concept. Last year we discussed standards, goals, resolutions, and new opportunities. The year before we discussed possibilities and planning by beginning with the end in mind, and in our first year with the Five Minute Family we suggested coming up with a family word of the year. Personally for our own family, some of these ideas worked better than others through the years, depending on the ages and needs of our children at the time. As I was driving to be with family this holiday, I heard a podcast by Mel Robbins. She explained six questions to ask yourself as you step into the new year. The first three are focused on reviewing the past year, and the next three steps are focused on the coming year. To give that concept the Five Minute Family spin (with a bonus), let’s discuss the first three past-year reflective questions she poses. First, what were your family highlights from last year? Remembering the good and lovely things that happened are important, even if the year had many sad or difficult moments. 1 Corinthians 11:2 encourages us to remember the wonderful gifts from our Lord: “Now I praise you because you remember me in everything.” Just as Mel Robbins encouraged, don’t only rely on your own memory, pull out the camera roll and calendar to give you and your loved ones a fuller picture of the year. Second question: What were your hardest moments this year as a family? Psalm 56:8 points out that God has put our tears in a bottle. As one author put it “Our sorrows matter to God.” Reflecting on those hard times allows us to remember how they affected us and is important, especially when you get to question number three. What did you learn about yourselves this past year? There may be a bit more self-focus on this question as you discuss this as a family, but try to keep in mind the family identity you are cultivating and how the individual’s changes impact the family identity as well as how the family identity may have been fundamentally altered. What does that mean moving forward as a Christ-centered family? 1 Peter 4:10 puts it this way, “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another.” In May 2021 we discussed the “stop start continue” concept as it could be applied to the marital relationship. Mel Robbins used that concept as her second set of three questions - the forward-looking questions. Here, we want to prompt your thoughts to get your minds focused as a family on what you can collectively do. First up in the moving forward category, what do you need to STOP doing as a family? Acts 3:19-20a states, “Therefore, repent and turn back, so that your sins may be wiped out, that seasons of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord…” Not all of the actions you think of may be sinful, but there are actions you need to stop as a family because they may not be the most edifying. Sinful actions such a complaining or gossiping need to go, of course, but what about the actions of always calling out what someone else is doing wrong? I know I am guilty of that. As mom, it is my job to correct and instruct my children, but are there some situations in which I need to hold my tongue and let them see the need for a change in their behavior themselves? Second in the moving forward category is, what do you need to continue doing? Are you already intentional AT LEAST five strategic moments a day to stay connected as a family? If you are reading God’s word daily, that’s another thing to keep continuing doing. Do you already build one another up with your words and actions? And, finally, in the moving forward, almost resolution-esque category, what do you need to start doing this year to achieve your family goal or goals as a strong, godly Christ-centered family? Maybe you aren’t reading God’s word together on a regular basis, and you want to begin to do so. Maybe you need to create a family vision board and work to a goal of household chore consistency. Whatever it may be, use what you learned about yourselves in the highlights and lowlights of last year to make realistic plans to step into 2024 one anothering as God intends. Never forget Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” Be blessed!…
Good morning, Five Minute Families. It is holiday season as we write this. Thanksgiving into Christmas into New Year’s. Numerous work events, family gatherings, and community parties get added into most of our already busy schedules. Stress hits its highest for many folks this time of year. And, many of us begin to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or downright angry. Thankfully, our society has come to accept healthy demonstrations of emotions much better than it has in history. However, with the rise of social media and the endless news cycle, unhealthy and maladaptive forms of emotional demonstration have become news and viral fodder. If someone gets fame for bad behavior, they have received reinforcement to behave badly. The same holds true in our homes. If we allow the person in the family who demonstrates their negative emotions in controlling, angry, or destructive ways - whether that is the patriarch or the toddler, to control the emotional environment, we are all doomed to get-togethers of misery - anxiety, walking on eggshells, feeling unheard or controlled, the list goes on. A family must learn to identify the emotions being felt AND learn how to communicate them in healthy, relationship building ways - yes, even the bad ones. This needs to start young if possible. In fact, as I sat down to write this evening, I just heard our son say to his very young daughter, “It’s ok to have big feelings, but you can’t act like that. You have to control yourself.” She didn’t want to eat her veggie pouch of baby food. She wanted her fruit pouch. But, by lovingly identifying the emotions she was feeling AND validating those emotions, he guided her to calm down and behave in a manner that would keep harmony despite her lack of desire to eat her veggies. As our kids grow, this scenario plays out again and again. Our nine-year-old was upset thinking someone had thrown away his dessert that he hadn’t finished. His over-the-top demonstration of his anger and frustration did not get him any closer to eating the dessert. He was disappointed. He yelled about stubbing his toe, he angrily asked everyone where his dessert was. And, ultimately, his bad behavior cost him his ability to eat his dessert when he desired. Five-minute parents, the same is true for us. How often are we frustrated by the extended family member who has spent a lifetime turning themselves into the victim of every real or perceived conflict. It is exhausting. It is defeating. How do we have a conversation with that person, especially when our emotions are big? Well, just like the kiddos, it is ok to have big emotions, but we have to learn how to communicate our needs in calm, healthy ways. And, sometimes, we have to realize that, no, that person may not ever change. But, we can’t let their victim mentality and inability to see the hurts and disappointments they have created to control the entire family narrative. Will it serve any good or godly purpose to confront the person at this time about their bad behavior, or will we just be heaping our own bad behavior on top? (and, incidentally, if the emotionally unhealthy person likes playing the victim, they will just feel more victimized and a perpetual cycle is established. Yet, we know that expressing our emotions can have both mental and physical health benefits. So, we have to learn that demonstrating our emotions does not need to be slamming a door, screaming out, or talking to someone. Expressing our emotions can happen entirely in our minds in a healthy and adaptive ways in which we acknowledge their existence and make an intentional choice to respond in godly ways. The Kansas City Heath System website explained that acknowledging our emotions can: Help us see problems in a new light Make decision-making and problem-solving easier Allow us to rid ourselves of the power of the feeling and bring control of our response Reduce anxiety and Ease depression It continues, “When we fail to express our emotions, our brain can often go into the fight-or-flight state. This is a physical reaction to stress that sets off a chain of events throughout our bodies. It increases our heart rate, slows digestive functions and makes us feel anxious or depressed.” Proverbs 29:11 reminds us that “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise person holds it in check.” And, Proverbs 15:18 says also, “A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but one slow to anger calms strife.” 2 Timothy 1:7 states it this way, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.” Some versions say “power and love and self-control” Five-minute families, we encourage you to recognize that IT IS OK TO HAVE BIG FEELINGS, but it truly is what we do with those feelings that matters. Will a demonstration of your anger (or whatever feeling you are having in that moment) will that demonstration serve God and build up your family member? May God guide you as your family works to honor him with your emotional acceptance and expressions this coming year. Be blessed!…
F
Five Minute Family
Good morning, Five Minute Families! Are you in the Christmas spirit, or do you have a touch of the bah-humbugs? Getting into the mindset can be a challenge if we focus on only what we want. Yet, if we choose to focus on our blessings, on our triumphs - no matter how small, and of the possibilities of the future, then getting into the spirit of Christmas becomes much easier. Ultimately, our full focus needs to turn to what the season is all about - the birth of a baby who sacrificed His life for our eternal futures. Now, that is a real reason to celebrate. That’s a good word. Celebrate. Celebrations. This past weekend we had the chance to witness a sweet proposal and to participate in the celebration that followed. This time of year, in America we have Christmas parades, Christmas pageants, Christmas cantatas, Christmas parties and more. A whole month of celebrations of the birth of Jesus and the joy of family and friends surrounding us. Celebrations are biblical. There are the seven feasts or festivals of the Old Testament - celebrations of God and foreshadowing of the coming Messiah - Jesus Christ. Jesus Himself performed His first recorded miracle at a wedding celebration, and He used the parable of a wedding feast in Matthew 22:2. Not only are we to celebrate God such as Psalm 34:3 “O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together” and Psalm 95:2 “Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving, let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.” show. We are also to celebrate each other. Some people say, “Never miss an opportunity to celebrate.” Of course, we do not want to lessen or cheapen the experience of celebration, but we also want to make sure that we enter into celebration frequently enough to receive the benefits of celebration. Celebration brings better physical health. When people gather in celebration, laughter often ensues. Laughter literally helps the muscles relax, the blood pressure lower, and the airways open. Folks have a tendency to perceive less pain and express more gratitude. Organ transplant recipients were studied and it was found that those who expressed gratitude got better faster and functioned better, too. So, celebrate to improve your physical health. Celebration brings better mental health. When we choose to focus on the triumphs and accomplishments of those we love, we release endorphins, and that allows for an overall feeling of better well-being. When we see those who are for us in life, no matter how small the circle we have may be, we more from fear to fellowship and faith. Celebration brings stronger family relationships. Special events quite often become reunions, allowing for connection and endurance of family bonds. Celebration strengthens community relationships. When we celebrate, we issue invitations to those who are important in our lives or in that specific accomplishment. Pastors, coaches, professionals such as doctors and teachers, parental friendships, peer relationships - all are bonded more deeply when celebrations are added. Celebration brings a healthy self-concept. One website said it best, “A healthy person understands the whole arc of life as a continuous journey, punctuated by moments of pain and of joy but always changing. Special occasions are the milestones along this journey, chances to stop and reflect on life as a whole, and on the person who has lived it.” I think if my sister ever decides to have a second career, she needs to be a party planner. She once took dollar store birthday party gift bags and turned them into decorations for our four-year-old’s birthday party. I had a cake and ice cream for his little party and a small gift bag per child coming, but that was it. No balloons, no decorations. I hadn’t even printed invitations. I simply made phone calls. It took her maybe 30 minutes to plan and execute her decorating the room with the gift bags and various child craft items our sons had, and our son loved it. She has asked if she is doing too much at the setup of an event, but yet, it really isn’t about doing too much for her. She is showing that the person or persons being celebrated are important to her, that they are worthy of her time and planning and decorating and even the cleaning that comes afterward. She enjoys making someone feel special, that their moment is the most important thing right then. Of course, not all of us are going to have the time or money to invest in party decorations for all the different events that come along in life, but we all have the opportunity to show others that their special days, their special moments, matter to us. So, if you can’t afford a banner and chargers and coordinated centerpieces and matching place cards and whatever else is out there, choose to make the person’s favorite meal, write a simple note of celebration, and say a special prayer out loud over the person. Celebrate and be blessed!…
Ласкаво просимо до Player FM!
Player FM сканує Інтернет для отримання високоякісних подкастів, щоб ви могли насолоджуватися ними зараз. Це найкращий додаток для подкастів, який працює на Android, iPhone і веб-сторінці. Реєстрація для синхронізації підписок між пристроями.
Daily Deals
Player FM - додаток Podcast
Переходьте в офлайн за допомогою програми Player FM !
Переходьте в офлайн за допомогою програми Player FM !
))
