Mr. District Attorney - The Case of the Hungry Hobo

Old Time Radio Mysteries

On a Saturday night in a Roadside Diner near a railroad crossing, Charlie Porter is working his usual late shift and listening to a prizefight on the radio, when his unemployed brother-in law, Jack Houseman, walks in. Jack is brother to Nina, Charlie's wife. Jack has been living with his sister and Charlie for quite some time. Jack says "Hi Charlie". Charlie says "Oh, it's you". Jack says "That's s a happy greeting for your favorite brother-in-law". Charlie says "Stop clowning, Jack, you're not my favorite anything and you know it". Jack asks "How's the fight going?" Charlie says "It could go either way. Did Nina send you down here for something?" Jack says "No, it's something I want to see you about Charlie. Mind if I turn this down a little? Charlie says "What is this Jack, another touch? Because if it is, you're wasting your time". Jack says "It's Saturday night and I got a date. I need five bucks". Charlie says "Try working, that might be a way to get it. Why don't you ask your sister?" Jack says "Don't kid me, Charlie. You know why she wouldn't give it to me. You told her not to". Charlie says "I told her to use her own judgment, Jack". He says "Turning my own sister against me". Charlie says "She happens to be my wife and I'd like to see her get herself a decent dress instead of shelling out fives and tens to you". Jack says "No? Alright, then maybe I'll just help myself from the register". Charlie says "I wouldn't touch that if I were you, Jack". He says "You just stay on that stool and count your hamburger patties, brother-in-law". Charlie says "Jack, stop. Don't get any crazier than you already are, put that gun back under the counter. Put it back and get out of here or I'll call the cops!" Jack asks "Do I get the dough, or don't I?" Charlie says "No!" Jack says "Too bad", and fires two shots at Charlie! As he gets the money from the register and leaves, Jack says "That's the way you wanted it, cheapskate".