George Michael’s LAST CHRISTMAS I gave you my brooch, my crazy frog, my explosive device, my cheeseburger, and my cynical speech from Trainspotting. A Christmas special.

Lyrics of the Lost

Wham!!! It’s a bumper Christmas edition. What is LAST CHRISTMAS potentially about? Incest, terrorism, Jeffrey Epstein parties, heart transplants, a cursed brooch and more. A special hello to those playing WHAMAGEDDON this month - best of luck!

We've got exclamation marks, the war on Christmas, a smidge of Ridge, Barry Manilow, short-shorts, sad Christmas songs, we OUT George Michael (a bit late), heteronormative showbusiness, Greek origins and bad accents, first-name surnames, the Cola wars, regifting hearts and foot-spas, making George love other people and things, Richard Gere, miniature donkeys and tiny ponies, Arnold Schwarzenegger, a change of heart, consent, arranged marriages, key parties, brooch metaphors, brooches for men? Sick burns, Indian-giving, sooky tantrums, Boy George Michael, bleach and blow-dryers, big hair as a metaphor for happiness, fake girlfriends and sex-workers, merciless repetition, merciless repetition, the lost fad of changing ring-tones, peer pressure, beds are burning, Taylor Swift, George as a dumper, George as a terrorist, George struggles with codes and explosives, James Bond, Tears For Fears as enemy spies, bitter-sweet Christmases, choose life, choose McDonalds, choose to throw pickles at the window, choose promos, choose tweenage angst, a pity-cheeseburger, Groundhog/Christmas day, webbed fingers/feet, experimenting on rabbits, Christmas emotional pressure, getting jelly, 80s shoulders, taking advantage emotionally, the big brooch-move, the movie tie-in with spoilers, and giving your heart-transplant away.

Would you like to appear (well, vocally) on the show? Do you have a pop song or ear-worm from the SMOOTH FM genre that’s infested your mind and needs to be investigated? Visit this page https://speakpipe.com/lyrics to record us your own voicemail hot-take on your specific smooth song of suckiness. You could be on a future episode! (you can always email sound files or text your thoughts to [e-mail] if that's easier). Cheers!

Find us on Twitter, Facebook and all your favourite podcasting platforms.

Sound clips are included for educational reference, criticism, satire and parody in fair use. Clips remain the property of the respective rights holder and no endorsement is implied. All information and opinion is performed and expressed in-character and does not reflect reality or genuine commentary on any persons (living or dead), bands or other organisations, or their works, and is not recommended listening for anyone, anywhere.