Finding G-d in Our Struggles: The Firstborn of the Unloved

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In this week’s Torah portion, Ki Seitzei, we learn the law of the firstborn: even if the firstborn son comes from the “unloved” wife, he must be given the double portion. Rabbi Yisroel Bernath explored the deeper Kabbalistic meaning behind this law, revealing that the “beloved” and “unloved” wives are metaphors for two sides of our soul — the inspired, G-d-loving self and the struggling, conflicted self. The Torah teaches that our greatest spiritual “firstborn” often emerges from the parts of ourselves we might despise. By working with our struggles, we can produce a “double portion” of light and blessing, more precious to G-d than what comes easily.

Key Takeaways

• Two Souls Within: We each have a “beloved” side (our Divine soul) and an “unloved” side (our animal soul) — both are part of our relationship with G-d.
• The Power of Struggle: G-d delights not only in saintly ease but especially in the victories that come from our inner battles.
• A Double Portion: What feels despised in us can be the source of double blessing when transformed.
• Self-Compassion: Instead of hating our struggles, we can embrace them as the very reason we were created (Tanya ch. 27).
• Messianic Promise: In the era of Moshiach, the hidden “firstborn” light of our struggles will be revealed in full splendor.

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