Ep. 162 17 Ways Coaching Has Changed Me

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

#Self-Improvement #Heidi Benjaminsen #Parenting #Podcasting Education #Kids And Families #Heidi Benjaminsen Coaching

39:50

The truth is out West! We’re hopping on the ET Highway and venturing to the most notorious alien hot spots, including Roswell’s infamous crash site, Area 51’s eerie perimeter, and a mysterious desert watchtower. Join us as journalist Laura Krantz, host of the podcast Wild Thing , beams up to share stories from the front lines of UFO reporting—from strange sightings and quirky festivals to a mailbox where people leave letters to extraterrestrials. Maybe you’ll even decide for yourself: Is Earth a tourist stop for spaceships? UFO hot spots you’ll encounter in this episode: - UFO Watchtower (near Great Sand Dunes National Park, Colorado) - Roswell, New Mexico - Area 51, Nevada - Extraterrestrial Highway (aka State Route 375), Nevada - Little A’Le’Inn, ET Highway, Nevada - E.T. Fresh Jerky, ET Highway, Nevada - Alien Research Center, ET Highway, Nevada - The Black Mailbox, ET Highway, Nevada Via Podcast is a production of AAA Mountain West Group .…

2 роки тому 29:48

MP3•Головна епізоду

I'm sharing with you in this episode the 17 ways coaching principles have changed my life. A few include:

My words and actions are a reflection of me, not others.
I don't have to be "right" all the time and I don't get to determine what is "right" for another person.
What other people think of me isn't my mental business.
Worry isn't love and hurts relationships.
I know where I begin and end, and where others begin and end.

And more!

Listen and see if any of these are changes you can identify in yourself!

Leave a 5 star rating or review on iTunes at: http://getpodcast.reviews/id/1479596645.

A confident mother is the greatest gift to her family!

197 епізодів

Ep. 162 17 Ways Coaching Has Changed Me

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

published 2 роки тому

Поширити

MP3•Головна епізоду

I'm sharing with you in this episode the 17 ways coaching principles have changed my life. A few include:

My words and actions are a reflection of me, not others.
I don't have to be "right" all the time and I don't get to determine what is "right" for another person.
What other people think of me isn't my mental business.
Worry isn't love and hurts relationships.
I know where I begin and end, and where others begin and end.

And more!

Listen and see if any of these are changes you can identify in yourself!

Leave a 5 star rating or review on iTunes at: http://getpodcast.reviews/id/1479596645.

A confident mother is the greatest gift to her family!

197 епізодів

#Self-Improvement #Heidi Benjaminsen #Parenting #Podcasting Education #Kids And Families #Heidi Benjaminsen Coaching

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3 years тому19:20

19:20

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

1
Ep. 135 The Ripple Effects of a Confident Mother: Alisha's Story 37:31

3 years тому37:31

37:31

When a mother invests in her own confidence, security and self-love, she is in a position to “gift” these same emotions to her children. Listen to the beautiful episode where I interview a client and friend of mine who has done some amazing work over the past year. Alisha shares her insecurities before coaching, specifically her worry about telling her youngest daughter she is adopted. Listen to hear the beautiful story of what Alisha learned and the impact her own growth has had on her family.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 134 When Our Children Leave "The Path" 19:54

3 years тому19:54

19:54

Heidi shares a story about a trip she took a few years ago, where her GPS took her off the “direct path” and a beautiful trip that unfolded. Heidi shares many lessons from this trip about the options for worry, stress or calm and relaxation as our GPS (or the GPS of our teens) takes them on a path different from others. Learn helpful ways to support (and not disconnect from) friends on their own paths.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 133 Envy and Jealousy 18:48

3 years тому18:48

18:48

Envy and jealousy are emotions that, if they drive our lives, create disconnection with others and block gratitude and love. The more we like ourselves, the more we can manage our jealousy and love others. Listen as Heidi gives examples of how we act when jealous (critical, shaming, talking about others behind their back, judging) including specific things we say. Learn two tricks - one internal and one external - to turn jealousy into gratitude and confidence.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 132 Putting People on Pedestals 18:15

3 years тому18:15

18:15

We mentally put people on pedestals when we elevate everything about them to be amazing, perfect, the greatest of all time, etc. This isn’t just admiring and respecting these people - this is expecting them to be perfect in all ways because they do excel in some ways. When we do this, we create disconnection with these people we revere and we’re set up to always be disappointed - because no one is perfect. Listen as Heidi explains why elevating people to mental pedestals is so damaging to relationships and how to equalize these relationships. Because we all crave connection - and connection doesn’t take place on pedestals.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 131 Normalizing Negative Emotions 13:24

3 years тому13:24

13:24

Often we share with others how excited and happy we are to do new, exciting things... and we forget to mention that we're ALSO scared, nervous and fearful. Social media is full of excitement and we rarely post about how terrified we were as well during the adventure. Listen as Heidi shares several examples of why it is important to label and discuss the negative we feel so our teens know these emotions are normal. Knowing these emotions are normal and human will allow our teens to take action and know they aren't alone.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 130 Empathetic Responses 17:38

3 years тому17:38

17:38

Everyone wants to know their feelings and experiences are "okay" and normal, and we seek this validation from other people. Our teens are especially anxious that everything they are feeling is "normal". Empathy is the fuel that will ground and anchor our teens into being confident in how they are experiencing life. They desperately want to know it's okay to feel nervous, lonely, excited, scared and ALL the human emotions. Listen as Heidi teaches you why empathy is so critical to connection with our teens and what empathetic responses sound like (and don't sound like!).…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 129 How To Stop Guilt Tripping Teens 17:38

3 years тому17:38

17:38

It can be tempting to use guilt as emotional fuel to get our teens to do what we want them to do. The danger of using guilt for compliance is this models inappropriate and immature communication and manipulation. Guilt will always create resentment and disconnection - two things we all do NOT want part of our relationships with our teens. Our teens need to see us have needs and wants. They need to see us model being able to ask for what we need and own our own emotions in every situation. Listen to hear how to stop the guilt trips and communicate clearly and directly with respect, love and connection.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 128 Feeling Guilted into Doing Things 15:25

3 years тому15:25

15:25

Guilt is a powerful emotional tool humans use to get other people to do things for us. But no one likes feeling "guilted" into doing things - guilt is a terrible emotion to use as fuel and it brings resentment and disconnection along with it. Listen to hear how to recognize when someone is trying to guilt you into meeting their needs and hear examples of how to effectively, directly and maturely communicate what you are, and are not, willing to do for this person. More into at www.heidibenjaminsen.com . A confident mother is the greatest gift to her family.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 126 Taking The Initiative 14:39

3 years тому14:39

14:39

Confident people take the first step, introduce themselves to others, smile, start uncomfortable conversations, apologize, invite others... confident people take the initiative. Confident people are willing to feel vulnerable and endure rejection because they want the results that come from taking the initiative - deeper relationships, more friends and connections, more money and more. Listen as Heidi shares what we fear when we hang back and examples of how to make the first move.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 125 Anchoring Tool: Reacting vs. Responding 16:29

3 years тому16:29

16:29

Everyday we have opportunities to either respond, or react, to our teenagers. Reacting feels out of control and creates disconnection and defensiveness. Responding requires us to anchor our emotions and take responsibility for our words and emotions. Listen as Heidi gives many examples of how to pause and get out of reaction mode. Hear phrases to use when responding and questions to ask instead of assumptions. Learn how to respond with humility, curiosity... and even when NOT to say anything at all.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 124 Supporting LGBTQ Teens with Jenie Hunter 33:56

3 years тому33:56

33:56

If you find yourself navigating how to support, love and accept an LGTBQ+ teen or loved one, listen to this conversation Heidi has with Jenie Hunter - lucky mother of an LGBTQ son, coach, podcaster and all around warm soul. Jenie shares her own journey, her fears, her mistakes and the enormous blessings she has being the mother of an LGBTQ child. Listen for tools of how to handle conversations and how to deepen your spiritual relationship to get your own guidance. As Jenie said... the Lord speaks to the mothers.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 123 Having Faith is Hard 8:24

3 years тому8:24

8:24

Life is hard. Having the faith to keep showing up, putting one foot in front of another, to face the struggles and uncertainty of a new day... is hard. In this episode Heidi shares how she has been dealing with the hard of life recently. Its easy to think other people aren't feeling the hard like you are... but in reality... we are. We just don't see what other people are carrying. If its getting too much for you, rest. And know it IS hard. You aren't alone.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 122 How To Observe Your Thoughts 12:21

3 years тому12:21

12:21

The first skill to anchor our emotions and beliefs is to learn how to watch and observe our thoughts. Being able to identify what is going on in our brain gives us power over what we are thinking and creating in life. Listen as Heidi explains how to stop, get still and observe what is going on in your head. Heidi teaches we are not our thoughts, we can't believe and act on everything that runs through our head. Learning how to observe and question what you are thinking brings emotional control and confidence.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 121 Loving Difficult People 14:51

3 years тому14:51

14:51

We all have someone in our life who seems "difficult", a child who triggers everything about us, an in-law or neighbor who constantly rubs us the wrong way. Learning how to love these people is a gift we give ourselves - WE get to feel better, we grow in our capacity to accept differences. Listen as Heidi lists many "love facts" with examples of how these truths are all tools to increase our capacity to love these "difficult" people. Which is good... since sometimes WE ourselves are that person. Happy Valentine's Day!…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 120 Accepting Reality 16:46

3 years тому16:46

16:46

Every time we think our teen or spouse SHOULDN'T be the way they are, think that life SHOULDN'T have gone the way it did, and WISHING our circumstances were different... we resist accepting reality. Which leaves us powerless to create any future change and feel better. Listen as Heidi walks listeners through several small ways in which we resist accepting reality and how it pushes us backward. Learn how to restate sentences in our brain to SEE life and people as they are, which gives us back our power to find solutions, more forward and create peace and calm.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 119 Connecting with Teens: A Conversation with Ben Pugh 38:51

3 years тому38:51

38:51

There is a secret to how to connect with our teens that certified life and teen coach Ben Pugh shares in a fantastic conversation with Heidi. Listen as Ben shares that our teens think we've lost hope in them and how to change what we're thinking to feel MORE hope. Learn how to connect with our teens where THEY are and the powerful changes possible in our teens when WE change and anchor our emotions. Ben reinforces the belief that when WE change and anchor our emotions, our teens feel the change and THEY change.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 118 Staying Out Of Other People's Lanes 24:48

3 years тому24:48

24:48

We create most of our frustration, stress and worry by taking on problems and trying to control things that are not ours to control. By trying to direct and "drive" the lives of others, we aren't paying careful attention to our own responsibilities and control what we actually CAN control - our life, our responses, our actions and more. Listen as Heidi explains the three lanes of life (our lane, other peoples lanes and God's lane) and offers several questions you can ask yourself to help you feel more anchored and calm.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 117 Borrowing Belief 15:14

3 years тому15:14

15:14

One of the ways we can change what we believe is possible for ourselves is to "borrow belief" that others have in us or that others have about what is possible. When we see what others have done, we can choose to believe "it is possible for me to achieve this" or "this person believes I have the potential". Listen as Heidi teaches how to look to others or look to our past achievements to fuel our future changes. Borrowing belief is often the first step to creating a new future.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 116 Becoming 22:07

3 years тому22:07

22:07

At the beginning of the year, I challenge you to focus LESS on the goals you want to achieve and MORE on who you want to BECOME this year. Sure, pick a goal that seems fun. Then who you need to BECOME to achieve this. Listen as Heidi shares how to visualize a River of Becoming that has currents and obstacles in which you will BECOME someone who is committed, determined, patient, vulnerable and more.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep 115 Anchoring Tool: I Am Feeling 9:01

3 years тому9:01

9:01

When we're feeling "un-anchored" and out of control emotionally, there is a way to pivot our emotions and "re-anchor" them. Learn as Heidi teaches a tool to get control of our emotions and remind our body that WE are creating what we are feeling (not someone or something else). Listen to episode 115 to hear the importance of what we say after "I am...". because these are the things we attract into our lives.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 114 My Favorite Thoughts 2021 11:55

3 years тому11:55

11:55

Listen as Heidi shares the thoughts and questions that have anchored her through this year, especially a year full of disagreement and social discord. Learn how to distance our own opinions about how other people are living their life with our own opinions. Each thought and question helps get us back in our own lane and focusing on how we show up. Learn how to reflect back on this year to fuel you to grow in 2022!…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 113 Be Here Not There 17:37

3 years тому17:37

17:37

Sitting in regret of the past or worry and anxiety about the future, robs us from enjoying and experiencing our present. In the holiday season, it's easy to rush to get things done - to think the future will be better than today. Listen as Heidi teaches us tools and questions to get our mind out of "there" and back to "here" and the present. There is beauty and gratitude in the everyday, mundane. The more present we can be in our lives, the more we can improve our overall emotional baseline.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 112 Faulty If-Then Beliefs 13:47

3 years тому13:47

13:47

Our brains like to make opinions and assumptions like math equations - if this happens (A plus B), then the only result is this (equals C). If my child goes to college, they will be successful. These beliefs serve us well... until they don't. Until we realize life is NOT a math equation. Life is all in the gray area, where we can't see all of the variables at play. Listen as Heidi shares several examples of "faulty if-then" beliefs that we should question. When we figure out what we ultimately want, we drop much of the stress and anxiety and create more calm.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 111 Emotions To Bring To Holiday Gatherings 17:25

4 years тому17:25

17:25

While you're deciding which side dish you'll be bringing to the holiday party, take some time to decide the Emotional Dishes you'll be bringing as well. Let someone else bring stress, criticism and perfectionism - we can bring other emotional vibes. Listen as Heidi shares how to bring Acceptance, Curiosity and Amusement to your holiday gatherings. Learn why these emotions will help you connect with others and thoughts to help create these more useful emotions.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 110 Being Disappointed 18:44

4 years тому18:44

18:44

Disappointment is what we feel when life (people, events, our circumstances) does not meet our expectations and we feel "displeasure". Learning how to "own" we are creating this emotion and feel disappointment is actually a very powerful tool to anchor us to show up calmly and securely for our children. It's important to let our children feel disappointed (and not try to make them immediately feel better) so they learn how to be emotionally mature humans. Listen as Heidi gives many examples of how and why to feel disappointment.... which actually helps us feel better, sooner.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 109 Turning Resentment into Gratitude 19:56

4 years тому19:56

19:56

Resentment creeps into our life when we think life isn't fair, when things or people shouldn't be how they are or we feel betrayed. Resentment makes us the victim of our lives. Gratitude is the antidote to resentment - we can't feel resentment and gratitude at the same time. Gratitude is a courageous and vulnerable choice we make to take back our emotional control. Listen as Heidi walks listeners through many situations and how to create more gratitude and happiness.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 108 Processing vs Numbing Emotions 14:47

4 years тому14:47

14:47

Listen as Heidi teaches you the one way to determine if the way we "handle" emotions is healthy processing or unhealthy buffering of emotions. We don't always need to sit and feel for hours on end. We can go for walks, talk to friends, clean closets and more. What we're doing is less the issue. We always want to be considering what RESULT we create from how we handle the emotions. Are we moving FORWARD towards a positive life, or are we creating MORE negative (gain weight, debt, addiction, etc)?…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 107 Staying Calm and Anchored 16:20

4 years тому16:20

16:20

In this personal episode, Heidi shares two examples of managing her emotions, the exact thoughts that kept her anchored and how this impacted her family. In the first example, Heidi's daughter has a real, angry meltdown and Heidi shares how she stayed calm (it was hard!) and the positive consequences of this. In the second example, Heidi shares how she processed negative emotions of shame, vulnerability and sadness. Being able to do both of these things, allows us to show up in complete integrity, owning all of our actions and reactions.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 106 Doing Things We Don't Want To Do 16:15

4 years тому16:15

16:15

Few people WANT to do laundry, but we all want clean clothes. Few of us WANT to exercise but we all want the benefits of having DONE the exercise. Learning how to do things we don't want to do, learning to do things even if we don't like it is what separates people who achieve goals from those who quit... or don't start at all. Listen as Heidi teaches several mis-perceptions we have about people who do the hard (that they want to... they actually usually don't want to or like the hard) and tips to get ourselves to DO what we don't want to.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 105 Confidence and Sexuality with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife 39:01

4 years тому39:01

39:01

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is an LDS relationship and sexuality therapist, counselor and coach who joins Heidi for a conversation about confidence. They discuss how to acknowledge and own our imperfections, understanding our identity and how our children learn to be confident in their sexuality by watching their parents. Listen as they share their own experiences raising teens and share their own insecurities.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 104 Giving Ourselves Grace 16:41

4 years тому16:41

16:41

We're hardest on ourselves. We expect perfection, no mistakes, zero flaws, 100 on every test... so we're constantly disappointing our inner selves. Our insides have forgotten we're human and full of cracks, weaknesses and missteps. Learning to see our real human nature and give ourselves grace is our work. It's the work of building confidence to be flawed AND amazing AND loved... all at the same time. Listen as Heidi shares several examples of how she found grace and how you can turn judgement into grace!…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 103 Being Wrong 24:04

4 years тому24:04

24:04

One of the best ways to grow our confidence and build relationships is by learning how to be admit and be "wrong" when we are wrong. Our brain on default always wants to be right to protect our ego but this keeps us small and insecure. Listen as Heidi teaches the dangers of always needing to be "right" and questions to ask ourselves to see where we could be "wrong". Heidi gives many examples from her own life and helps us rewrite the subconscious thought that we're always right. Turns out... learning to be wrong is a more "right" way to live and feel better!…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 102 Creating Self-Confidence 21:24

4 years тому21:24

21:24

The fuel of change and growth is self-confidence, and to create this we need to know how to pivot from insecurity... to confidence... to self-confidence. Confidence looks to the past to what "have" I done in the past, where self-confidence looks to the future to define "who we want to be". Listen as Heidi teaches you two questions to ask yourself (what do I fear and who do I want to be) to move from insecurity... to confidence... to self-confidence.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 101 Drowning Thoughts 21:38

4 years тому21:38

21:38

In 1859, miners who had struck gold drown in the Royal Charter storm because they weighed their pockets and coats with gold to swim to shore. We have thoughts and beliefs that become like this gold - valuable in other situations - but the reason we drown and can't reach shore in life. Listen as Heidi gives many examples of thoughts that can be valuable at times... and can also be drowning thoughts suffocating us from peace. Learn how to learn drop these thoughts to live lighter and be on confident solid ground.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 100 Tools To Manage Worry When Sending Child to College 20:28

4 years тому20:28

20:28

Sending a child off to college usually produces a lot of worry and stress for parents. All of the sudden we know so much less about what is going on for our child's life so, if left unmanaged, our brains will spiral and ruminate in this worry. Worry creates much unneeded negativity in our life which we project onto our children, feeding their own anxieties. Listen as Heidi teaches why worry SEEMS necessary and three simple tools to re-direct your brain to minimize worry.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep 99 Anchoring Tool: Fear or Hope 11:17

4 years тому11:17

11:17

Fear and hope are both motivators - we DO or DON'T do things from these emotions. Fear, though, keeps us stuck and is filled with scarcity, doubt and insecurity. Hope is a more anchored and confident emotion. Its important to know which emotion we are projecting to our teenagers because they will sense and absorb this energy. Learn the Fear or Hope anchoring tools that Heidi uses with clients to pivot them from insecurity to confidence.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 98 Anger and Masking Vulnerabilities 20:09

4 years тому20:09

20:09

Anger and the power it pretends to give us seems useful, but it rarely is. Anger is an escalated emotion coming from fear and other vulnerable emotions. When unchecked, our anger hurts us and our relationships. Listen as Heidi teaches you how to dismantle your anger, identify your fears, decide which anger is useful and re-anchor yourself to be the person you really want to be. Learn the exact tools to keep yourself off the emotional rollercoasters others around you are on.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 97 Wanting Everyone To Be Happy 17:08

4 years тому17:08

17:08

It sounds like a lovely thought - to want everyone to be happy - but this desire and thought can end up being a toxic thought that creates negativity and stress in us, if left unchecked. This thought then fuels us to emotionally gaslight other people by telling them they "shouldn't" be sad or having their negative emotional experience, instead of just SEEing other people and validating their emotions. Listen to hear how Heidi explains the possible dangers of this thought and how to anchor our emotions to create connections with others.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 96 Life Coaching vs. Therapy 14:45

4 years тому14:45

14:45

"What's the difference between a life coach and a therapy" is a common question. Both professions help people improve their mental wellness, but there are very specific differences between a coach and a therapist. Both have unique tools in their toolbox and focus on different areas of our brain and life. Listen as Heidi teaches how this relates to coaches and therapists for sports teams and athletes who may be injured and this who want to improve their play in the "game".…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 95 What Confidence Looks Like 19:11

4 years тому19:11

19:11

We interpret someone making eye contact, smiling, introducing themselves, being willing to have difficult conversations as those coming from confidence. When we're trying to develop our own confidence, it is useful to visualize what other confidence people DO, what they SAY and then visualize ourselves doing the same. Listen as Heidi walks through several situations and examples of what confidence looks like. Just one new confident act reinforced to your brain that you ARE a confidence person.…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 94 Lighten Up 19:02

4 years тому19:02

19:02

Listen as Heidi explains about the background of her Lighten Up private membership for Mothers of Teenagers who want to gain more confidence and peace that they are making the right choices for their families. Lighten Up is for women who want less emotional and physical weight and want to feel more anchored in their self-esteem, emotions, and confidence. Click below to learn more and join as a founding member. https://heidibenjaminsen.mykajabi.com/lighten-up-sign-up…

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

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Ep. 93 Having Our Own Back 15:04

4 years тому15:04