FAMILY MATTERS, Week 2 - How do we communicate and forgive?

Bloom Church Podcast

'If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 NLT

If you want to change the culture in your home, you have to change the way you communicate.

For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. Matthew 12:34 NLT

'The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. Proverbs 18:21 NLT

Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. James 3:2 NLT

3 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT OUR WORDS/TONGUES

1. THE TONGUE IS SMALL BUT POWERFUL

'We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches….

James 3:3-5 NLT

2. THE TONGUE IS DIRECTIONAL

And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. James 3:4 NLT

3. THE TONGUE HAS A QUICK IMPACT

'In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. James 3:5 NLT

HOW DO YOU COMMUNICATE IN A HEALTHY WAY?

• STOP BEFORE YOU SPEAK

You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19 NLT

A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent. Proverbs 17:27-28 NLT

• THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK

T – is it True?

H – is it Helpful?

I – is it Inspiring?

N – is it Necessary?

K – is it Kind?

• PRAY BEFORE YOU SPEAK

Take control of what I say, O LORD, and guard my lips. Psalms 141:3 NLT

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5 NLT

'Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:23-24 NLT

FORGIVENESS IS NOT…

MAKING EXCUSES FOR WHAT HAS HAPPENED

SOMETHING THE OTHER PERSON EARNS OR DESERVES

FORGETTING OR AVOIDING

INSTANT RESTORATION OF TRUST.

FORGIVENESS is the conscious choice to give up your right to make the other person pay because you trust God to make things right.

HOW DOES FORGIVENESS WORK IN A GODLY WAY?

1. We recognize forgiveness is a conviction, not a circumstance.

So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” Luke 17:3-4 NLT

2. We understand why forgiveness is so difficult.

REQUIRES EMOTIONAL ENERGY

REQUIRES UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS AND RISKY OUTCOMES

IT FEELS UNNATURAL

TAKES AWAY PERCEPTION OF CONTROL

3. WE FOCUS ONLY ON WHAT WE CAN CONTROL

'Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 NLT

SO WHAT CAN I CONTROL?

1. PRAY FOR GODS HELP

So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view…. 2 Corinthians 5:16 NLT

2. PRAY FOR THEM

You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! Matthew 5:43-44 NLT

3. DO THE OPPOSITE

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the lord. Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. Romans 12:17-21 NLT

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. Romans 5:8 NLT