Lauren Boebert: Girls Night Out

Apologies Accepted

Lauren Boba Fett was sent to congress by Colorado's 3rd District for a second term because 546 people wanted the rest of the US to see how dumb she was. They didn't want to hog all the stupidity for themselves and thought the national stage was the best place to showcase her world class idiocy. Thanks, Colorado's 3rd district, the following is all your fault -

Lauren went on a date to a family friendly musical theater production of "Beetlejuice." She sang, she danced in her chair, and she had a good time as a private citizen in a public space. She decided to party it on up and brought out the vape pen and then engaged in some sexual over the clothes petting with her boyfriend during the show. True, he started it by juggling her breasts but she took things up a notch, or down a notch, way down, and gave him a crotch massage. Not sure how many children were around in the theater to see this behavior, but by now every child in America can see it thanks to the internet.

Lauren was thrown out of the theater. Her PR team spun the incident and lied and lied and lied and lied about what happened. Video was released which showed her doing everything her team said she didn't do. Lauren vaped out an apology blaming cameras and her very public divorce and her boyfriend's party affiliation (he's a democrat with no taste).

Colorado has yet to apologize but we anticipate a big "we are sorry" in 2024. Political hopefuls are already campaigning against her and who knows, Colorado's 3rd district may elect a pony this time just to prove they can.