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Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested ...
 
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One of the toughest challenges in a relationship is being able to forge our own individual selves. And it isn’t always something that gets easier over time. Our ability to create a strong separate self independent of a couple relationship is strongly influenced by how we grew up, and what our relationship with our parents was like. In this episode …
 
These days “narcissist” has become the insult of choice for many of us caught on the wrong side of arrogance, self-absorption or monotonous bragging. Narcissism is more complex than that, however, and an empathetic understanding of it can make it much easier to deal with partners or family members with narcissistic traits, or with full-blown narcis…
 
How can we have more meaningful, connected sex? Many couples today are stuck in a low-sex or no-sex dynamic, while others struggle to break a routine that feels unbearably dull. In this episode Jan Day, a relationship expert and psycho-spirital teacher, discusses “Living Tantra”. Andrew and Jan cover how to “resensitise” in a world where there is n…
 
Anger is one of the main reasons couples seek out the help of a marital therapist. It is an emotion we often fear, and which we are frequently taught to stifle and ignore in ourselves. This week’s guests, Mar Estarellas and Orsolya Szeverics, believe that repressing anger means repressing our authentic emotions. This can lead to muscle tension, phy…
 
Are you being held back by darker moments from your past? Would you like to find the courage to shine a light on some of the tragic or shameful moments that you don’t like to think about? This week author and therapist Malcolm Stern joins Andrew to discuss his new book Slay Your Dragons With Compassion. Malcolm and Andrew talk about confronting you…
 
Everyone has a different divorce experience, but getting divorced is pretty much guaranteed to change your life. In this episode Samantha Baines, host of the Divorce Social podcast, shares her own experiences of divorce. Andrew and Samantha discuss: ⭐️The shock of divorce (even if you think you’re ready) ⭐️ Making the decision to get a divorce ⭐️ D…
 
If you’re restless and irritable, or plagued by headaches or stomach upsets, then anxiety might be an issue. More and more of us are looking for support, and even diagnoses, to help manage anxiety. This week’s guest is Dr Anna Colton, a clinical psychologist, trained actress and TV presenter. Anna works with families, teenagers and couples, but als…
 
Today, the four pale horsemen of war, famine, pestilence and death, have broken into our comfortable lives once again. As the climate emergency and shortage become normalised, how do we live through crisis after crisis without falling into fear and anxiety on the one hand, or agitated reaction and rage on the other? Do we face the horsemen, go into…
 
Life brings to all of us long periods where we feel lost or confused. We don't know how to get what we want, or even what it is that we want. The struggle to articulate the thing that might really make us “come alive” can be profound, even if we enter therapy. Charlotte Fox Weber is the author of Tell Me What You Want, a new book that explores how …
 
Throw away your FitBit, stop counting your daily steps, and instead learn to run mindfully. If you can find the three key elements of space, silence and patience, you’ll be far more able to tackle big problems at work and at home. William Pullen is a psychotherapist who helps clients using his revolutionary method of Dynamic Running Therapy. His wo…
 
How do you cope when life suddenly and dramatically falls to pieces? In March 2017 psychologist and author Niamh Fitzpatrick’s beloved sister Dara was killed in a helicopter crash. Soon afterwards, Niamh’s marriage disintegrated, and she feared she would also lose the house she lived in. Life as she knew it had ended and the cumulative loss was sta…
 
When women and men argue, women can often be more comfortable in expressing their feelings of hurt and anger. Men can feel distressed by this strength of feeling, and may pull away emotionally. They may feel a very strong urge to occupy the ground of rationality and objectivity, which in turn leads their partner to push harder, desperately seeking …
 
Better sex, building a stronger connection with your partner, coping with anxiety, and dealing with shame and fear: these were some of the big themes that resonated on The Meaningful Life in 2022. Tracey Cox, international sex therapist, author and Daily Mail columnist, was the very first guest on episode one of The Meaningful Life. She joins Andre…
 
Do you experience regular bad headaches, or a stomach upset that won’t go away? Do you have nagging aches you put down to getting older? Mind and body are two parts of the same system: problems like depression and anxiety almost always manifest in the physical body as well as the mind. The road to calm and joy is much faster if we can ensure to tak…
 
“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” Philosopher William James (brother of the novelist Henry James) seems way ahead of his time with this insight. Our guest this week is author and philosopher John Kaag. John credits William James with helping him through several existential crises,…
 
Leaving a toxic relationship is really just the beginning: how do you then pick up the pieces and build a new life? Certified relationship coach Tara Blair Ball is a second-time guest on The Meaningful Life - her first interview on attachment theory was so popular that we invited her back to discuss her new book on surviving toxic relationships. Ac…
 
⭐️What is something you could do right now to help your future self? ⭐️What is the most dangerous thing you have survived? ⭐️Who is a person you’re glad exists? These are the kinds of questions writer Amanda Deibert asks her Twitter followers everyday, and which she has now gathered into a beautiful gratitude journal called You Already Have the Ans…
 
Family secrets can live on for generations, shaping our lives in ways we may not recognise or fully understand. In this episode Andrew talks to Dr Galit Atlas, author of Emotional Inheritance: A Therapist, Her Patients, and the Legacy of Trauma about how our struggles in life are linked to the emotional inheritance we receive from our families. Dr …
 
Prison makes a lot of life's big questions feel extremely urgent. Author Andy West explores such questions in his work teaching philosophy to prisoners - some of whom have minimal education; some of whom have acquired PhDs. Andy has also experienced the shadow of prison in his own life - witnessing the incarceration of his father, brother and uncle…
 
The end of life isn’t always a time of fear and suffering. Dr Christopher Kerr has cared for thousands of patients who, in the face of imminent death, speak of love and grace. Dr Kerr is the author of Death is But a Dream, in which he shares dying patients’ experiences of pre-death dreams and vision. These end-of-life dreams humanise the dying proc…
 
If work leaves you feeling tense, unfulfilled or anxious, then it’s definitely time to make some kind of change. You probably know that already - but this week’s episode helps you think through where to start. This week’s guest is Phil Poole, a Berlin-based coach, entrepreneur, writer and leader. Phil and Andrew discuss: ⭐️Phil’s journey through bu…
 
Parenting adult children might not involve sleepless nights or dealing with detentions, but it can be highly challenging. Often, the balance of power shifts and parents find themselves walking on eggshells, anxious about preserving a close relationship. In this week’s episode Andrew talks to author and journalist Celia Dodd about the challenges and…
 
There's endless advice on romantic love, but how can you nurture loving friendships? And what should you do if a friendship turns sour, or leaves you feeling taken advantage of? This week's guest is writer and therapist Dr Suzanne Degges-White, the author of Toxic Friendships: Knowing the Rules and Dealing with the Friends Who Break Them. In this e…
 
Are you “world-weary”? Exhausted by life to the point where a day on the couch, a mini-break or a night out with friends won’t even touch the tip of your fatigue? This week’s guest, Dr Libby Nugent, is here to help. Libby discusses with Andrew the powerful healing properties of the fairytale. If you’ve experienced: Strains in relationships with you…
 
What happens if you ignore the voices in your head urging you to change your life? Most likely they will make themselves heard in some way, be it positive or negative. Dawn Kohler was an award-winning entrepreneur in the computer industry when she was abruptly summoned to take a life-altering course. She began to receive “messages”, which launched …
 
If you’re feeling stuck in your life, could the way forward be found in your dreams? Your dreams are direct messages from your subconscious, and can tell you a huge amount if you pay them a little attention. This week’s guest, Machiel Klerk, is a Jungian analyst and the founder of the Jung Platform. He is also the author of Dream Guidance, a guide …
 
If we know anything for sure about love, it’s that our beloved will change as time passes. They will look different, believe new things and feel new sorrows and joys. Psychologist and author Dr Matthew McKay has written a new book on how we can keep love alive in an age of impermanence. He talks with Andrew about five ways to keep loving in the fac…
 
How can we cope when life turns very dark? The culture tends to suggest we fix ourselves, work through the grief, and get back to normal as quickly as possible. If we accept the challenge to go deeper, though, getting up close with the darkness of life can be enriching and freeing. Ancient and non-Western cultures tend to offer more routes into the…
 
Is it possible to fall in love with your partner over and over again? Can you hope to hold onto passionate sex as you grow older together? This week Andrew is joined by Dr Cheryl Fraser, an author, Buddhist teacher, psychologist and sex therapist. They explore the nature and longevity of passion, including: ⭐️Libido and why it can wane over time ⭐️…
 
This week we are celebrating our 100th episode. To mark the occasion, we have a very special guest: Julia Samuel MBE, who is one of the UK’s foremost psychotherapists, as well as an author and an expert on grief. Julia and Andrew discuss: ⭐️How grief and loss pass from generation to generation ⭐️How you can protect your own children from generation…
 
Some of us spend years having the same arguments with our partner, on repeat. Others drift into a state of lonely togetherness where we don’t bother to talk about discontents, because it just feels pointless. Joanna Harrison is a marital therapist who has identified five arguments that all couples need to have. If you can work through these issues,…
 
Society encourages us to focus hard on “doing, achieving and having”. According to Professor Paul Gilbert, though, we would likely be much happier if we instead worked on being more compassionate to ourselves and others. In this episode Andrew and Paul discuss: ⭐️Why being compassionate ISN’T being weak ⭐️Three key pillars of compassion: assertiven…
 
What if divorce were not the end? This week’s podcast guests, Tommy and Gina Mulligan, share their journey from acrimonious divorce back to happy coupledom. Tommy and Gina started out as high school sweethearts and grew up together to create a happy life and family. As Tommy’s career accelerated, however, they encountered problems with work/life ba…
 
Do you fall too easily into the role of rescuer in your relationships? Being the eternal rescuer is exhausting, and it tends to cast those around you in the roles of victim and persecutor. Or, often, you and your partner will switch between the roles, caught in an eternal and unproductive “drama triangle”. None of the three roles are likely to allo…
 
To forgive is one of the biggest choices we can make. It can allow us to let go of painful suffering, to move on and to find peace for ourselves. Yet forgiveness tends to be something of a minefield. Many feel that it means letting people who have hurt them back into their lives (which definitely need not be the case). Nor is forgiveness the same t…
 
After nearly dying from an ectopic pregnancy, writer Georgina Scull confronted some of life’s big questions: Why do we drift through life, planning for tomorrow but not living for today? Why do we stay in relationships that no longer make us content, or in jobs that fill us with dread? Why do we allow our doubts to stop us trying new things, or let…
 
Why do women stop wanting sex? Why is it so hard to recapture the intoxicating desire of those wonderful early weeks and months of your relationship? Irene Fehr has spent a decade working with couples as a sex and intimacy coach. Her specialty is women’s libido and sexual desire in long-term relationships. In this episode Andrew and Irene discuss t…
 
Creating a more meaningful life does not have to happen indoors. Whether it’s writing, meditating, repairing relationships or planning a big life change, doing the work outside surrounded by nature can be calming and inspiring. Psychotherapist Dr Patricia Hasbach is a specialist in ecotherapy. She sees clients outside and also incorporates nature i…
 
Women often spend many hours considering their relationship with their mothers; but far less attention goes to the impact of fathers. For some, the reason for this is that their mothers were there, making wrong and right decisions (which they remember in the starkest possible light) whilst their fathers were absent. Jungian psychotherapist Dr Susan…
 
Do you think about drinking alcohol more than you think about eating sandwiches? Do you spend significant amounts of time thinking about NOT drinking (Dry January, for example)? Or are you one of the many with an uneasy feeling that alcohol is no longer bringing anything good into your life, and may well be holding you back? Therapist and sobriety …
 
How do you survive the loss of your life’s partner? How does grief relate to love? And how do you navigate the sometimes clumsy responses to grief from those around you? Writer, activist and speaker Catherine Mayer has spent the years since 2020 charting the depths of loss and grief. In early 2020 her husband, renowned guitarist and producer Andy G…
 
Many older people, particularly women, are “divorce-curious”. They wonder about life on the other side of a tired marriage, and feel that perhaps it isn’t too late. Could a divorce be the route to rediscovering passion, stimulation and new experiences? Others are in the position of having a divorce thrust upon them, and are left to work through the…
 
Christina Patterson found herself in the heartbreaking position of being the last one left in a loving and beloved family. She took on the task of writing the story of her family and her place in it. In the process, Christina explored the ways in which our personal history can cause us to “get in our way”, self-sabotaging as we work through the suf…
 
Doing a lot of things won’t get you where you want to go. According to “Digital Dale Carnegie” and best-selling author Erik Qualman, it’s become increasingly hard to achieve the things that mean the most to us. Modern life splinters our attention span and makes it extremely challenging to hone in on what matters. Erik Qualman interviewed hundreds o…
 
Sometimes things feel way too complicated. You’re working hard, taking care of your family, you have enough money - but things still just don’t feel right. You push on, looking forward to your next holiday or a night out with friends, but the day to day is grey and exhausting. Wellness practitioner, CEO, yoga instructor and clinical social worker J…
 
David Kessler is one of the world’s best-known experts on grief, yet nothing could prepare him for the loss of his beloved son at the age of 21. Just as he’d advised his clients for decades, David attended grief groups, saw a therapist and sat with his pain. In this episode, Andrew and David discuss how society wants us to grieve versus the reality…
 
Shame is one of the emotions we find hardest to talk about. It can feel paralysing, and is linked to despair, imposter syndrome, fear and the sense of an impending doom. This week’s guest, psychologist and author Dr Stephan Poulter, is the author of Shame Factor: Heal Your Deepest Fears and Set Yourself Free. Andrew and Dr Poulter discuss how shame…
 
Teenagers have a big reputation for being hard to talk to. How can you find that spark of connection with your teen? Is there a way to set up a channel of communication so that you can help them through the rough patches? In this episode Andrew talks to Australian teacher and author Daisy Turnbull about her new book, 50 Questions to Ask Your Teens.…
 
Finding meaning and fulfillment in the second half of life requires us to make a conscious transition. We must explore “the unconscious denial and resistance that erupts around key thresholds of later life” if we are to be happy as elders. In this episode, psychotherapist and author Connie Zweig, PhD talks with Andrew about how to become an elder w…
 
Everything is always changing, and nothing is ever the same. If we think about it, we all know that. But we tend to live differently, as though we can hang onto the same fixed self, the same ways of doing things, and the same people around us. Alan Lessik, author and Zen practitioner, is an expert in change. He is known by his friends as someone wh…
 
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