Andrew G Marshall відкриті
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Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested ...
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How do we fall in love? And do men and women experience this differently? Psychiatrist Dr Paul Dobransky has combined science with the study of real-life case studies, and concludes that we do. Moreover, if we can understand something of how our brains move through the stages of love, we can make better romantic choices and create relationships tha…
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When families enter family therapy, they usually point to one person as the “problem” - this individual is seen as too much, or too angry, or too sensitive. Family systems theory, however, looks at the whole family ecosystem to identify how this “problem” is being created, and whether it is in fact a symptom rather than a cause. This week Andrew ta…
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Anxiety can be as contagious as a yawn. People who are feeling more anxious often try to get others to take some of their anxiety from them, and people who are not feeling as anxious naturally resist taking on someone else’s anxiety. In relationships, it’s often the case that one person takes on the role of the anxious person, whilst the other feel…
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Are you allowing your life to be run by “ghosts” - empty narratives, expired beliefs, tired fears, people who should no longer hold sway over your choices? “When the old stories and beliefs that once defined us have played out and grown exhausted,” writes Dr. James Hollis, “our task is to access our inner compass, the promptings of the psyche that …
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What can Korean culture teach us about being happier and more fulfilled? New York literary agent and author Barbara Zitwer has spent decades figuring this out, culminating in her book, The Korean Book of Happiness. Barbara and Andrew discuss the ancient Korean philosophies of Han, Heung and Jeong (resilience, joy and the art of giving), and Barbara…
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Psychologist and author Renee Mill believes that practical, solutions-focused approaches to anxiety can be as important as deep psychotherapeutic work. Renee’s career has combined both approaches, and today she helps many of her clients manage anxiety with practical tools designed to “rewire” patterns in the brain that may date back to infancy. In …
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“Stop crying now”, “cheer up”, “what a lovely smile” - these are the kinds of messages most of us hear from infancy. Karla McLaren’s work is all about undoing this learning, and valuing ALL of our emotions. Even though the way you work with emotions can have positive or negative outcomes, the emotions themselves are not good or bad. In fact, anger,…
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Filmmaker and Dad Saves America host John Papola is on a mission to celebrate the inspirational force of fatherhood. Rather than dwelling on the discourse around “toxic masculinity”, John’s work celebrates “the heroic role we play as men” by being present and joyfully involved in children’s lives. Rather than being a burden or an obstacle to self-f…
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How can we find the joy, connection, healing and sense of the miraculous that so many of us crave? For poet and spiritual teacher Clark Strand, the answer lies in writing Haiku. The ancient Japanese art of Haiku is the only form of poetry in all of world literature that makes nature into a spiritual path. Its message is simple: Haiku teaches us to …
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If you’re living in survival mode, squashing down feelings of anxiety, depression and panic, then something needs to change. This week Andrew speaks with Dr Friedemann Schaub, a physician, researcher and personal development coach, about our deep-seated emotional baggage, and how to identify the self-sabotaging patterns and limiting beliefs that pr…
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Western medicine cannot cure all of our ills. Many of us experience stubborn aches, pains and fatigue that our doctors don’t seem able to touch, or even explain. Dr Sharon Martin is a highly-trained physician who became frustrated by these limits, and began to explore the capacity of alternative medicine to bring healing and peace. In this episode …
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We’re often told we’re in the midst of a post-Covid “loneliness epidemic”, but what exactly does that mean? Loneliness is a profound condition that goes right to the heart of being human - it’s certainly more than just being alone, and often it isn’t something that can be addressed by just “getting out more” or volunteering at the local hospital. T…
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It can often seem that today's world rewards people who remain psychologically suspended in adolescence. Many people, particularly men, prolong and enjoy their adolescence for decades. Conroy Harris, CEO of the charity A Band of Brothers, discovered through his own life experiences that this wasn’t a healthy way to live. He believes that everyone s…
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You have needs—your needs matter. And yet, you’ve been taught that pushing your needs to the back burner is the only way to get things done, that your needs are an overwhelming burden, or that self-care is a luxury you can’t afford. Author, coach and podcaster Mara Glatzel encourages us to “take a seat at the table in our own life”. In this episode…
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In this episode spiritual teacher Ayala Gill shares three fundamental questions with which to approach difficult situations life throws our way: ⭐️What can I learn from this moment? ⭐️What’s asking to be loved? ⭐️What can I give in return? Andrew and Ayala also discuss the nature of suffering, the difference between suffering and pain, animistic co…
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When fear presents itself, we are deterred from the essential work of holding tough conversations, defending new ideas against the status quo, and standing up against injustice. Author Scott Simon founded the Scare Your Soul courage movement to help people harness their fears and lead more courageous lives. Since he became a “fear chaser”, Simon ha…
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Psychotherapist Tonya Lester believes it’s OK to be difficult. This doesn’t mean being rigid, domineering or unkind. It means making sure that your partner has a sense of who you are and what you need. Of course, you won’t get there without learning how to disagree productively. In this episode Andrew and Tonya discuss how to develop mutually suppo…
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Is it possible to decide to be happier, and then to go out there and make it happen? Hypnotherapist, author and podcaster Richard Nicholls believes that happiness is, at least in part, a skill to be learned. The more you practise, the easier it becomes. Of course, each individual’s notion of happiness and their genetic capacity to achieve it easily…
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If you’re in relationship with a partner who is on the autism spectrum, the following may feel familiar: My partner seems to lack empathy and doesn’t care how I feel My partner misjudges me all the time - I can’t do anything right I can’t seem to find a way to communicate with my partner My partner feels attacked and criticised if I disagree We arg…
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Forgiveness is a powerful spiritual tool that can bring profound relief, and unleash feelings of love blocked for years by personal resentments. In this episode, Andrew discusses forgiveness with author and forgiveness expert Olivier Clerc. They cover: ⭐️4 essential steps to forgiveness ⭐️Obstacles to forgiveness ⭐️The importance of spending time d…
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Motherhood gets great PR: women are led by society to expect it to be continuously fulfilling and wonderful. The reality is, of course, more complicated. Children absorb so much of our energy that there can be too little left over to maintain a healthy sense of self. Writer and journalist Geraldine Walsh is the author of Unraveling Motherhood, whic…
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There’s no-one in the world who can push your buttons like your brother or sister. Sibling relationships (whether you live in the same postcode or ceased speaking to one another three decades ago) have a definitive influence on our adult lives. This week author and academic Dr Geoffrey Greif talks us through his extensive research on adult sibling …
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Love and relationships are already complicated, but they can feel even more so if you’re living with a mental health condition. This week author Allison Raskin talks about her experiences with OCD, and how overthinking can be managed in relationships and dating. How do you talk to a partner about your mental health? What is the difference between h…
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If you often feel depressed, anxious, victimised or disappointed, you may be carrying a heavy load of unresolved emotional pain. Psychotherapist and author Robert Jackman suggests that this pain, and associated patterns of behaviour, often stem from our lost inner child. This inner child brings with him or her a false narrative; played on repeat. P…
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What if we’ve gotten meaning all wrong? Perhaps “searching for meaning” is completely the wrong way to think about things. If we can reconceptualise, it may be far easier to build a life suffused with meaning and joy. Dr Eric Maisel has been fascinated by the subject of meaning since he was a small child. This week Andrew and Eric discuss Eric’s ne…
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After her 13-year-old son Koby was murdered by terrorists, Sherri Mandell was forced to explore the nature of spiritual resilience in the face of overwhelming grief. In her book The Road to Resilience Sherri outlines seven steps required to face suffering and be enlarged: Chaos Community Choice Creativity Commemoration (discussed in bonus episode f…
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One of the toughest challenges in a relationship is being able to forge our own individual selves. And it isn’t always something that gets easier over time. Our ability to create a strong separate self independent of a couple relationship is strongly influenced by how we grew up, and what our relationship with our parents was like. In this episode …
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These days “narcissist” has become the insult of choice for many of us caught on the wrong side of arrogance, self-absorption or monotonous bragging. Narcissism is more complex than that, however, and an empathetic understanding of it can make it much easier to deal with partners or family members with narcissistic traits, or with full-blown narcis…
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How can we have more meaningful, connected sex? Many couples today are stuck in a low-sex or no-sex dynamic, while others struggle to break a routine that feels unbearably dull. In this episode Jan Day, a relationship expert and psycho-spirital teacher, discusses “Living Tantra”. Andrew and Jan cover how to “resensitise” in a world where there is n…
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Anger is one of the main reasons couples seek out the help of a marital therapist. It is an emotion we often fear, and which we are frequently taught to stifle and ignore in ourselves. This week’s guests, Mar Estarellas and Orsolya Szeverics, believe that repressing anger means repressing our authentic emotions. This can lead to muscle tension, phy…
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Are you being held back by darker moments from your past? Would you like to find the courage to shine a light on some of the tragic or shameful moments that you don’t like to think about? This week author and therapist Malcolm Stern joins Andrew to discuss his new book Slay Your Dragons With Compassion. Malcolm and Andrew talk about confronting you…
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Everyone has a different divorce experience, but getting divorced is pretty much guaranteed to change your life. In this episode Samantha Baines, host of the Divorce Social podcast, shares her own experiences of divorce. Andrew and Samantha discuss: ⭐️The shock of divorce (even if you think you’re ready) ⭐️ Making the decision to get a divorce ⭐️ D…
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If you’re restless and irritable, or plagued by headaches or stomach upsets, then anxiety might be an issue. More and more of us are looking for support, and even diagnoses, to help manage anxiety. This week’s guest is Dr Anna Colton, a clinical psychologist, trained actress and TV presenter. Anna works with families, teenagers and couples, but als…
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Today, the four pale horsemen of war, famine, pestilence and death, have broken into our comfortable lives once again. As the climate emergency and shortage become normalised, how do we live through crisis after crisis without falling into fear and anxiety on the one hand, or agitated reaction and rage on the other? Do we face the horsemen, go into…
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Life brings to all of us long periods where we feel lost or confused. We don't know how to get what we want, or even what it is that we want. The struggle to articulate the thing that might really make us “come alive” can be profound, even if we enter therapy. Charlotte Fox Weber is the author of Tell Me What You Want, a new book that explores how …
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Throw away your FitBit, stop counting your daily steps, and instead learn to run mindfully. If you can find the three key elements of space, silence and patience, you’ll be far more able to tackle big problems at work and at home. William Pullen is a psychotherapist who helps clients using his revolutionary method of Dynamic Running Therapy. His wo…
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How do you cope when life suddenly and dramatically falls to pieces? In March 2017 psychologist and author Niamh Fitzpatrick’s beloved sister Dara was killed in a helicopter crash. Soon afterwards, Niamh’s marriage disintegrated, and she feared she would also lose the house she lived in. Life as she knew it had ended and the cumulative loss was sta…
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When women and men argue, women can often be more comfortable in expressing their feelings of hurt and anger. Men can feel distressed by this strength of feeling, and may pull away emotionally. They may feel a very strong urge to occupy the ground of rationality and objectivity, which in turn leads their partner to push harder, desperately seeking …
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Better sex, building a stronger connection with your partner, coping with anxiety, and dealing with shame and fear: these were some of the big themes that resonated on The Meaningful Life in 2022. Tracey Cox, international sex therapist, author and Daily Mail columnist, was the very first guest on episode one of The Meaningful Life. She joins Andre…
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Do you experience regular bad headaches, or a stomach upset that won’t go away? Do you have nagging aches you put down to getting older? Mind and body are two parts of the same system: problems like depression and anxiety almost always manifest in the physical body as well as the mind. The road to calm and joy is much faster if we can ensure to tak…
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“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” Philosopher William James (brother of the novelist Henry James) seems way ahead of his time with this insight. Our guest this week is author and philosopher John Kaag. John credits William James with helping him through several existential crises,…
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Leaving a toxic relationship is really just the beginning: how do you then pick up the pieces and build a new life? Certified relationship coach Tara Blair Ball is a second-time guest on The Meaningful Life - her first interview on attachment theory was so popular that we invited her back to discuss her new book on surviving toxic relationships. Ac…
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⭐️What is something you could do right now to help your future self? ⭐️What is the most dangerous thing you have survived? ⭐️Who is a person you’re glad exists? These are the kinds of questions writer Amanda Deibert asks her Twitter followers everyday, and which she has now gathered into a beautiful gratitude journal called You Already Have the Ans…
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Family secrets can live on for generations, shaping our lives in ways we may not recognise or fully understand. In this episode Andrew talks to Dr Galit Atlas, author of Emotional Inheritance: A Therapist, Her Patients, and the Legacy of Trauma about how our struggles in life are linked to the emotional inheritance we receive from our families. Dr …
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Prison makes a lot of life's big questions feel extremely urgent. Author Andy West explores such questions in his work teaching philosophy to prisoners - some of whom have minimal education; some of whom have acquired PhDs. Andy has also experienced the shadow of prison in his own life - witnessing the incarceration of his father, brother and uncle…
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The end of life isn’t always a time of fear and suffering. Dr Christopher Kerr has cared for thousands of patients who, in the face of imminent death, speak of love and grace. Dr Kerr is the author of Death is But a Dream, in which he shares dying patients’ experiences of pre-death dreams and vision. These end-of-life dreams humanise the dying proc…
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If work leaves you feeling tense, unfulfilled or anxious, then it’s definitely time to make some kind of change. You probably know that already - but this week’s episode helps you think through where to start. This week’s guest is Phil Poole, a Berlin-based coach, entrepreneur, writer and leader. Phil and Andrew discuss: ⭐️Phil’s journey through bu…
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Parenting adult children might not involve sleepless nights or dealing with detentions, but it can be highly challenging. Often, the balance of power shifts and parents find themselves walking on eggshells, anxious about preserving a close relationship. In this week’s episode Andrew talks to author and journalist Celia Dodd about the challenges and…
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There's endless advice on romantic love, but how can you nurture loving friendships? And what should you do if a friendship turns sour, or leaves you feeling taken advantage of? This week's guest is writer and therapist Dr Suzanne Degges-White, the author of Toxic Friendships: Knowing the Rules and Dealing with the Friends Who Break Them. In this e…
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Are you “world-weary”? Exhausted by life to the point where a day on the couch, a mini-break or a night out with friends won’t even touch the tip of your fatigue? This week’s guest, Dr Libby Nugent, is here to help. Libby discusses with Andrew the powerful healing properties of the fairytale. If you’ve experienced: Strains in relationships with you…
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