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Back to the Barre

Christi Lukasiak & Kelly Hyland

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OG Dance Moms Christi (@christilukasiak) & Kelly (@kellylhyland) take us back to the barre with this weekly podcast, recapping Dance Moms episodes and sharing never-before-heard behind the scenes stories. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Back to the Bar

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Shiggity and Missy (husband and wife) have uncensored discussions on current, hot, trending topics (entertainment news, movies, music and sports, politics, local, national and world news, relationships, and everyday conversation). We add some comedy to bring a smile to everyone's face in these times of controversy and uncertainty. We are not experts; but, we love to talk to each other and we always welcome others' comments and/or questions.
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"I feel that every Dance Moms episode from this point forwards should just be called like Abby Hates Us or Abby Screws Us Over." says Christi as Abby begins to push her luck by asking the moms to start promoting online to find replacements FOR THEMSELVES on Season 4's "Abby Strikes Back". The first open auditions for the ALDC are this week and Abby…
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"I am not a Dance Moms fan. I hate watching it!" mourns Christi, as even when she does nothing at all production manages to spin a scenario to get her in trouble with Abby. As the second half of "Two Can Play This Game" gets underway there is some confusion about the line-up of solo performances at competition. Jill had been under the impression th…
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"Abby says to Chloe that she has the dancer's body. She has the look. Your technique shines through, you can nail it no matter what. listen to that positive shit! Hu huh. I'm willing to bet you Kelly that that's what she said to Maddie and they edited it so she says it to Chloe. She would never say that to Chloe," admits Christi reluctantly. Even w…
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"There's nothing else happening during Pyramid so of course the kids are listening. I don't know, half the time I wasn't listening. I was just standing there pretending. I was thinking about rainbows and lollipops somewhere." As Kelly notes, there is very little you can do when Abby has already prepared to dampen the mood of your day, and on the se…
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“I felt bad for Brooke, I felt bad for Chloe…I felt bad. I really did. You can just tell that it’s an ugly, ugly, ugly time,” laments Christi as the ALDC returns for another season of Dance Moms. While the girls visibly seem to be older, Abby is still the same old Abby. That’s maybe not quite true, she does seem quite a bit meaner! Abby reveals tha…
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"The show is not getting any better for you and I at this point. The only thing that's going to get better is we're going to leave." says Christi, to which Kelly readily celebrates. But until that time comes our Bitches are still stuck in the middle of the "Hurricane Abby" reunion. Abby storms out over her conversation with Kelly and the rest of th…
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"Lucky we're recapping a really shitty episode today!" You know it's a bad one when Christi can't even start the recap without mentioning how bad it's going to be. Are any of you bitchettes surprised, it is a reunion episode after all! By far "Hurricane Abby" has got to be one of the roughest reunions yet as both Christi and Kelly are singled out w…
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"An interview chair is fun for five minutes, but for twelve hours? Like being in the room with Abby having to interview her, a solid 40% of the time being on her phone with her lawyer because she doesn't want to answer one of the questions I'm asking? Telling me that I should have spent 15 more minutes doing my hair and make-up or listening to the …
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"I'm a horrible human being. Well no you aren't you have cancer so you have a pass right? Isn't that the way it goes? Yeah, and this is the cancer episode!" Well now that Kelly has an excuse and Christi is still AWOL on the second half of the Dance Moms Cares Special, it should be smooth sailing from here with no more infighting. Right? Abby even h…
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"Jersey Shore is not doing this shit. Teen Mom is not doing this shit. No, the Dance Moms are. Housewives they would never!" Christi notes as there really is no other show on TV that would make someone unbox a stuffed Broadway Baby, who makes their grand return to haunt all those who lay eyes on it. This week we jump ahead just a little bit to the …
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"Those kids on that team want to beat you! Yeah I kind of think thats what happens when everyone there wants to beat you." On the second half of "The Big, Not So, Easy", its finally time for the ALDC and the Candy Apples to go head to head. "Coincidently" both teams show up at the same time, and the Candy Apples take up the opportunity to throw som…
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“We are doing an episode this week that I have been dreading for 12 years," mourns Christi as she can't wait any longer now that the ALDC is finally heading to nationals once more! It's been a long and arduous Season 3, but it all comes to a head on "The Big, Not So, Easy". Fair warning: this episode has a lot to take in so it's a two parter. Don't…
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"I don't even know what episode it is. Season 3 Episode 36? There's so many episodes in Season 3, who thought this was a good idea!" exclaims Christi as it is indeed Episode 36 "Do-Si-Do and Do-Si-Don't". In order to stretch the season out as much as possible this week, Abby threatens that the girl's performance at In10sity Dance Buffalo Invitation…
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Shigg and Missy just saw Deadpool & Wolverine and wanted to share with you what we thought. We are throwing out spoiler alerts so be prepared. If you watched it, share your thoughts in the comments. Thanks for coming back and listening to us, we hope you enjoy the conversation. You rock with us, we'll rock with you. Peace.…
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Shigg, Titus and Missy are continuing the conversations that are happening out there. Kendrick Lamar removes diss track copyrights; man "nuts" on woman's leg in Dollar Tree; spoiler alert Frenchie from The Boys is bisexual; Game of Thrones/House of Dragons and more. Thanks for coming back and listening to us, we hope you enjoy the conversation. You…
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"Who would take their child to a dance class that, when the dance teacher tells you to do something, you have a fucking panic attack?" asks Kelly as she reflects on the moment she finally reached the end of her rope with Dance Moms on "Divas Las Vegas". While the show attempted to tie off the proceedings with a small moment of Abby being kind, Kell…
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"They always blame everything on me. Like Abby being there is because of me? I had to be there. I was forced to come back!" Kelly notes for what increasingly feels like the millionth time as the show attempts to use Kelly and her kids as drama fodder on "On-Again, Off-Again Abby". Abby is still out for the week but makes a special appearance at the…
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Shigg, Titus and Missy are continuing the conversations that are happening out there. Hailey Welch copyrights hawk tua; Jonathan Major being cancelled but not P Diddy; and more. Thanks for coming back and listening to us, we hope you enjoy the conversation. You rock with us, we'll rock with you. Peace.…
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"If we're being honest, you cannot script Abby," admits Christi as she tries to articulate why Dance Moms was such a success and Dance Moms: Miami only ran one season. It's one of the many topics discussed on this week's bonus Q&A episode! If you're a member of the Back to the Barre Patreon then you already know it's the best place to get your ques…
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Shigg, Titus and Missy are continuing the conversations that are happening out there. Was that our presidential debate; Monkey Man; 50 Cent and the new 8 Mile TV series; Steve O and Bill Maher; Justin Timberlake DUI, and more. Thanks for coming back and listening to us, we hope you enjoy the conversation. You rock with us, we'll rock with you. Peac…
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"This was the greatest moment in Dance Moms history as far as I was concerned." exclaims Christi since Abby is away "with her mother" and Gia is left in charge on "Gone, Abby Gone". There isn't even a Pyramid this week, how could this not be the best week ever? Cause Abby still found a way to make it awful! But most of that wasn't shown on camera, …
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"What do we do with [Broadway Baby]? Put a Big Mac inside of her!" jokes Kelly as after many months of waiting Abby finally is reunited with Broadway Baby's stuffed corpse on "The Dancing Dead". But as Christi and Kelly point out, it's pretty obvious that Broadway Baby got a bit more than a facelift at the taxidermist. While the show notes Baby has…
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Shigg, Titus and Missy are continuing the conversations that are happening out there. Have you heard of Ellie Regio? Wiz Khalifa goes to strip club with moms; Michael Rainey Jr sexually assaulted; Queer Planet on homosexual plants and animals; Michael Jackson and Biggie collab; Tiffany Haddish and more. Happy Fathers Day! Happy Juneteenth! Happy LG…
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"Crabapples? I wonder how many things we can say that's not Candy Apples? We really go for it." observes Christi as the second half of "Clash of the Dance Moms" boils down to quite a lot of name calling and not much else. This week the ALDC is competing at Believe National Talent Competition in Lancaster, PA with Payton and Leslie filling in for th…
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"We're not going to lose to that evil woman. I'm the only evil woman in your life. Well that's for sure." jokes Kelly while enjoying the fact she's still in exile during this week's episode. As "Clash of the Dance Moms" kicks off Abby is makes her disdain for Kelly's absence abundantly clear as Paige and Brooke are slotted at the bottom of the pyra…
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Shigg and Missy are continuing the conversations that are happening out there. The Cussing; Pastor; Memphis man driving car on zoom w/judge; Bad Boys 4; Taylor Swift rider list; Flava Flav helping out US Women's polo and saving Red Lobster; and more. Thanks for coming back and listening to us, we hope you enjoy the conversation. You rock with us, w…
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"We're not three minutes in and I want to puke," groans Christi as Dance Moms moves away from recaps and back into the thick of it with "Recital Rebellion". It's time once again for the annual ALDC recital and, in the intervening weeks since filming, it seems that something has gone amiss because even before Pyramid begins its clear everyone is on …
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Shigg and Missy are continuing the conversations that are happening out there. Diddy and all his alleged offenses. Thanks for coming back and listening to us, we hope you enjoy the conversation. You rock with us, we'll rock with you. Peace.back to the bar
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Shigg and Missy are continuing the conversations that are happening out there. Diddy and all those that have died that were connected to him; Jay Z; Sean Connery; Apple Music's top albums: Cicadas; Jocic brothers and more. Thanks for coming back and listening to us, we hope you enjoy the conversation. You rock with us, we'll rock with you. Peace.…
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"We want to know how long it's going to take for somebody to come and try and arrest us. Wouldn't that be hysterical if we got arrested here? It would be a full circle moment and obviously about a decade in the making," our lovely Bitches observe as they reunite in person for a visit back to the old ALDC studio (wine bottle in hand and 100% not tre…
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Shigg and Missy are continuing the conversations that are happening out there. Tom Brady Roast; pastor shushes woman in congregation; Gayle King, Sports Illustrated Cover; AI chat GPT flirts with you; Diddy Cassie video released and more. Thanks for coming back and listening to us, we hope you enjoy the conversation. You rock with us, we'll rock wi…
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Shigg and Missy are continuing the conversations that are happening out there. A mom's misdiagnosis of cancer; Ed O'Neill was almost a made man; Kanye Yeezy porn; Trump sleeping and farting in court; C.J. McCollum; Rudy Gobert; Happy Mother's Day and more. Thanks for coming back and listening to us, we hope you enjoy the conversation. You rock with…
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“This next scene is genuinely one of the wildest scenes I’ve ever seen on television. I cannot believe the words that are going to come out of Melissa’s mouth,” notes Christi as Abby's long not-awaited return to the ALDC heralds just as much drama as one would fear on "Tap Versus Hip Hop". If Pyramid weren't enough to dredge back up the Chloe loosi…
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“You get so much accomplished without ever moving all that much. God he keeps bringing that up!” Christi and Kelly note as even the guests struggle to breath life into "Dance Moms Chatter: Part 2". Although Abby is still in LA filming Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, she stuck around long enough for a sit down talk with Melissa, Jeff, guest comed…
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"My obnoxious level in this episode escalates very quickly," notes Christi as before "Dance Moms Chatter Part 1" can even begin she's already pretty drunk. But in a rare occurrence, Christi and Kelly don't have to hide their booze in coffee cups because this week, martini glasses are out in the open! With Jeff Collins moderating it's clip-show week…
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"I could watch a 24 hour live stream of the shit that Cathy and Vivi talk about," remarks Christi as Season 3's "No Room for Rotten Apples" is another Cathy-centric episode. It's not the most eventful of affairs as the producers even included an inordinate amount of dance footage this week to compensate, but what is there is... deeply weird. For ex…
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Shigg, Titus and Missy are continuing the conversations that are happening out there. The Baltimore Bridge tragedy; Caitlin Clark; Lizzo quitting music rumors; penis size is related to nose size; OJ Simpson has died and more. Thanks for coming back and listening to us, we hope you enjoy the conversation. You rock with us, we'll rock with you. Peace…
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On this special episode of Back to the Barre, Christi and Kelly invite you to join them live from Mom's Weekend at Ohio University for a moderated Q&A in front of a nearly 1000 person crowd! With so many great questions from both the moderators and the audience, it only seemed fit to share them with our little Bitchettes as we're certain you've all…
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Shigg, Titus, Heather and Missy are continuing the conversations that are happening out there. Rest in peace Louis Gossett, Jr.; Happy Birthday Titus and our restaurant birthday dinner horror; apologies on false information on the Tyson/Paul fight; Road House remake disappointment; Diddy home raid and supposed allegations; the Nickelodeon documenta…
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Shigg, Titus, and Missy are continuing the conversations that are happening out there. Rest in peace Richard Lewis; Curb Your Enthusiasm Ted Danson vs. Larry David; talking about orange female tabby cats; the Adam Sandler movie Spaceman; Vegas hotel guest stung in the balls by scorpion; Jaime Foxx; Quincy Jones documentary; Freaknik; Jake Paul vs M…
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Shigg, Titus, and Missy are continuing the conversations that are happening out there. Happy Birthday Shigg! Talking about the James Brown documentary; Billy Dee Williams and Marlon Brando; Machine Gun Kelly's black tattoos; Wendy Williams and Bruce Willis aphasia, dementia, Trump Sneakers and more. Thanks for coming back and listening to us, we ho…
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“You were in Aruba and I had to work on my vacation, so I deserved a coffee cup,” Kelly says as she reflects on how unfair it was that even though the moms were ostensibly promised time off while Abby was filming Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, she still got stuck being a stooge for the production this week while Christi enjoyed some R&R. Season…
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“This is like Top of the Pyramid for Suckular behavior,” says Christi as things really do suck on "Two Girls, One Solo". First of all, what sicko thought it was ok to name the episode THAT!? There are children here! Second, this episode is easily in Christi's Top 3 worst Dance Mom experiences so you know it's a rough one. Abby preps the next "power…
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What could have ticked Kelly off enough to once say, “I always knew in the back of my head that the day would come where Christ would stab me in the back, and you know what? She did...”? If you ask either Kelly or Christi now they'd be hard pressed to give you an answer! It's time once again for Christi and Kelly to be fighting one another for some…
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“I’m ready to shoot myself” is not something you want to hear aloud too often, but this week our beloved Bitches find themselves repeating that A LOT as they struggle to get through what might the first episode to really push them over the edge. "Boy Crazy, Mom Crazy" is such a wild episode that this recording managed to be almost two hours long an…
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"On a regular Dance Moms episode you drink on a scale from one to five. A reunion is a one to ten scale," says Christi as the Bitches start the 2nd Part of Season 3's reunion special "Tell All". While it might be a pretty easy episode for Christi herself, there's still enough Abby depravity to go around! Kristie Ray joins the discussion and goes on…
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“This is not an opportunity to set the record straight, HERE is the opportunity now 10 years later to set the record straight,” explains Christi as even when the moms got to explain themselves, they were never REALLY allowed to. Consequently there's no hell for our Bitches quite like a Dance Mom's Reunion episode, and Season 3's "Tell All" is a two…
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Shigg, Titus, and Missy are continuing the conversations that are happening out there. Talking about the Quavo; Super Bowl Halftime show Usher; Grammy's Hip Hop Celebration; Will Smith's performance; Valentine's Day; Boyz in the Hood; Missy can't twerk but Shigg can and more. Thanks for coming back and listening to us, we hope you enjoy the convers…
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“God, the first statement [of the episode] irritated me” says Kelly as she straps in for "The Mother of All Specials", Dance Mom's own Mother's Day celebration. For a show with plenty of moms you'd imagine the producers could focus in on pretty much any one of them, and yet this is an Abby centric episode. As Abby says, "Whom knows more about being…
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