EP 8: The Real Cost of Influencing: Plastic Surgery & Keeping up with the Joneses

So What Now? with Carla and Dex

#LGBT #Society #Communities #Idea to Launch Productions #Im On #Conversations

33:58

In this episode, we delve into the concept of being "qualified" in the workplace, examining who gets labeled as such, who doesn't, and the underlying reasons. We explore "competency checking"—the practice of scrutinizing individuals' abilities—and how it disproportionately affects underrepresented groups, often going unnoticed or unchallenged. Our discussion aims to redefine qualifications in a fair, equitable, and actionable manner. Our guest, Shari Dunn , is an accomplished journalist, former attorney, news anchor, CEO, university professor, and sought-after speaker. She has been recognized as Executive of the Year and a Woman of Influence, with her work appearing in Fortune Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, Ad Age, and more. Her new book, Qualified: How Competency Checking and Race Collide at Work , unpacks what it truly means to be deserving and capable—and why systemic barriers, not personal deficits, are often the real problem. Her insights challenge the narratives that hold so many of us back and offer practical solutions for building a more equitable future. Together, we can build workplaces and communities that don’t just reflect the world we live in, but the one we want to create. A world where being qualified is about recognizing the talent and potential that’s been overlooked for far too long. It’s not just about getting a seat at the table—it’s about building an entirely new table, one designed with space for all of us. Connect with Our Guest Shari Dunn Website& Book - Qualified: https://thesharidunn.com LI: https://www.linkedin.com/today/author/sharidunn TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thesharidunn Related Podcast Episodes: How To Build Emotionally Mature Leaders with Dr. Christie Smith | 272 Holding It Together: Women As America's Safety Net with Jessica Calarco | 215 How To Defy Expectations with Dr. Sunita Sah | 271 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music…

рік тому 1:02:23

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Plus, a deep dive into body image issues—why Raven-Symoné’s decision to undergo surgery at just 15 raises some serious questions, and how we should approach celebrities’ physical transformations. Carla shares her own story of buying fake hips, while Dex gets real about butt implants. To wrap up, Dex offers a fun self-awareness assessment that might just change your perspective. Tune in for laughs, honest conversations, and a few lessons along the way!

SO WHAT NOW? TAKEAWAYS

Social Media Isn't Real: The pressure to "keep up with the Joneses" on social media often leads to unsustainable behaviors. It's important to remember that what you see online doesn't always reflect reality, and prioritizing authenticity over perfection is healthier for your mental well-being.

The Influence of Social Media on Risky Behavior: The rise of influencer culture can pressure people into unrealistic lifestyles. From body image issues to misrepresenting your life online, these behaviors are often driven by insecurity and the desire to match a curated online persona.

Take a Digital Detox for Mental Clarity: Constantly consuming social media can cloud your self-perception. Taking breaks from your phone and stepping back into real life can help you reconnect with your true values, reflect on your goals, and prioritize your mental health.

CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

CARLA WILMARIS | DEX

📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/

📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en

276 епізодів

So What Now? with Carla and Dex

EP 8: The Real Cost of Influencing: Plastic Surgery & Keeping up with the Joneses

So What Now? with Carla and Dex

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MP3•Головна епізоду

SO WHAT NOW? TAKEAWAYS

CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

CARLA WILMARIS | DEX

📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/

📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en

276 епізодів

#LGBT #Society #Communities #Idea to Launch Productions #Im On #Conversations

Усі епізоди

1
EP19: Dex is Messy, Carla is Cutting People Off, & the Internet is Wild 51:12

2 дні тому51:12

51:12

Hey Friend! Its me, Carla ! Whew, this episode was a ride! Dex is officially a Cowboy Carter ticket holder (Beyhive, stand up!), and I’ve been auditing my top five closest people—we’ll see who makes it and who’s getting cut real quick. Our Woman of the Week is the one and only Joy Reid—because duh, she’s amazing and I really want her to win. And shameless plug, I’d LOVE to work with her!!! Meanwhile, Dex, who was supposed to be focused on creating this episodes outline, went down a whole Neyo rabbit hole (thank you, Shaderoom), and now we’re deep-diving into polyamory, parenting, and when to introduce your kids to a new partner—especially in non-traditional relationships. Let’s just say, opinions were flying. And THEN, we got into a listener letter from "Caught Up in the DM"—sis has been flirting in the Instagram DMs for months, but instead of a date, she got a sexting buddy. Should she shoot her shot, or is this man just here for the content? You already know we had thoughts on this one. Hit play and let’s get into it! 🎧🔥 CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en…

1
EP18: From Girl Code to Grown Code: Does Friendship Etiquette Change As We Get Older? 1:01:56

9 днів тому1:01:56

1:01:56

In this episode of So What Now, hosts Carla and Dex dive into a thought-provoking discussion on parenting. They explore whether "gentle parenting" methods are truly benefiting children or inadvertently preventing them from learning valuable life lessons. Reflecting on their own upbringings, they share how their experiences with discipline and independence shaped their views. The conversation shifts gears as they unpack the evolution of "girl code." Carla and Dex examine whether the rules of girl code change as we get older. Would you end a 20 year friendship over a man? The fun escalates as they play a rapid-fire round of girl code questions, bringing plenty of laughs and hilarious moments. Tune in for an insightful, yet light-hearted, look at modern parenting and friendship dynamics! CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en…

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EP 17: Red Flags & Maternal Regret: Are We the Problem? 1:07:13

16 днів тому1:07:13

1:07:13

In this episode Carla and Dex dive into the controversial topic of maternal regret. Some women openly admit to regretting having children—are they just being brutally honest, or is this a sign of deeper societal pressure? Carla and Dex unpack the complex feelings surrounding motherhood and why it’s such a triggering subject. Shifting gears, Carla and Dex tackle the question: Are women actually the problem in relationships? The conversation takes a hilarious turn when they play a green and red flag game to figure out if they’re toxic. Spoiler alert: Dex discovers she might just be a walking red flag—who knew? Tune in for laughs, real talk, and some surprising self-revelations about women, relationships, and motherhood. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en…

1
EP 16: Ex-posed: When Outing Your Ex Goes Too Far & Unpacking Love Themes in Classic Black Cinema 59:34

23 дні тому59:34

59:34

In this week’s episode of So What Now, Carla and Dex dive into the tricky topic of whether it’s ever okay to air intimate details of past relationships, discussing the drama surrounding Royce Reed and Dwight Howard’s public feud. The love theme continues with a deep dive into iconic black love stories from classic films. Carla and Dex go head-to-head over Love and Basketball. While Carla believes it’s one of the greatest love stories, Dex argues that Monica might’ve “settled” for her man. The conversation also touches on other beloved films like Poetic Justice and Boomerang, exploring the highs and lows of love and the lessons we take from them. To wrap things up, they bring some much-needed levity with a feel-good of the week: Reality TV. In a world full of stress, there’s nothing like escaping into the absurd drama of the rich and famous. From ridiculous fights to jaw-dropping moments, we are reminded to laugh at the unseriousness of it all. Tune in for laughs, heated debates, and of course, a little dose of reality! CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en…

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EP 15: Roses Are Red, Kirk’s Lies Never End, Cleo Had Drama, Here’s A Playlist We Recommend 55:46

30 днів тому55:46

55:46

It’s officially the month of LOVE, and in this episode Carla and Dex dive into some most infamous love stories—from the drama-filled relationship of Kirk and Rasheda to Cleopatra and Marc Anthony’s empire-shattering romance. They explore what happens when love becomes larger than life and, in some cases, leads to downfall. But it’s not all about toxic love flames! With Valentine’s Day approaching, the duo discusses how to romanticize your own life, especially when it feels like everyone else is celebrating a relationship. Carla and Dex share why it’s important to cultivate your own sense of joy, adventure, and self-love, and not wait for a partner to check off those life experiences. Plus, to set the mood for the season, they’ve curated a special Valentine’s Day playlist. Each of them shares 5 songs that best capture the essence of love and relationships. Whether you're single or taken, these tracks will have you feeling all the love! Tune in for a mix of history, self-love advice, and some seriously good tunes. SWN Valentine's Day Playlist CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en…

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EP14: Hookah, Hookups, and Hopes for Something More 59:01

5 weeks тому59:01

59:01

In this episode Carla and Dex dive deep into the evolving landscape of modern relationships and what it really means to partner up in today’s world. They unpack the idea of non-traditional relationships, questioning whether the paths they once thought they wanted are actually the ones that align with their true desires. Is Sheryl Lee Ralph’s unconventional situation with her husband a model of modern love, or is it just plain weird? Dex reveals her unique perspective on love and relationships. Meanwhile, Carla shares an update on her 2025 commitment to get back into the dating scene, from China to the Bahamas, is it all the same? Is modern dating as exciting or are we all just going through the motions? Tune in for a candid, funny, and thought-provoking discussion about what we really want out of our relationships, and whether what’s traditional is still the best option. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en…

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EP13: Beyoncé Cancels, Carla Confesses, and LA’s Crisis 51:00

6 weeks тому51:00

51:00

In this week’s episode Carla and Dex to catch you up on all the current events. We kick things off with Beyoncé’s surprising move to cancel her highly anticipated announcement, leaving fans buzzing. Plus, we reflect on recent actions from political leaders and the messages they’re sending. The conversation heats up as we discuss the devastating LA fires and how natural disasters continue to disproportionately impact marginalized communities. Carla makes a surprising confession about her recycling habits (or lack thereof), sparking a meaningful discussion on environmental responsibility. And finally, the ultimate question: is it ever appropriate to call your ex-wife "the baby momma"? Tune in for laughter, honest takes, and a little self-reflection as we tackle life’s messy and meaningful moments. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en…

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EP12: What is Closure?? 45:01

7 weeks тому45:01

45:01

While Carla takes some time to recover from the flu, we’re rewinding to one of your favorite episodes from the Sh*t I’m 30 archive! This week, Carla and Dexty dive into the drama-filled world of relationships, tackling breakups, makeups, baby mamas, and the ever-controversial topic of break babies. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s packed with the laughs. Don’t miss this trip down memory lane! CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en…

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EP11: Libido Low, Vibrator on High: Moms Need Lovin Too! 1:05:33

8 weeks тому1:05:33

1:05:33

This week we’re diving headfirst into the spicy (and hilariously awkward) world of sex in your 30s and 40s! From scheduling "sexy time" to uncovering why your libido might be MIA (spoiler: social media could be to blame), we’re spilling all the tea. And if that’s not enough, Carla and Dex are bringing wild, laugh-out-loud stories that’ll leave you cringing, cackling, and maybe feeling a touch of secondhand embarrassment! 🚨 Disclaimer: This episode is NOT kid-friendly. Unless you want to explain what a sex dungeon is or why vibrators shouldn’t double as microphones, listen solo! CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en…

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EP10: Goodbye 2024: We Came, We Saw, We Hit Record 1:27:53

9 weeks тому1:27:53

1:27:53

Disclaimer- Beyonce Bowl discussion ends at 20:57 In this episode of So What Now, Carla and Dex reflect on everything 2024 threw their way—spoiler alert: it wasn’t all vacations and TikTok dances. Dex admits that fear of losing stability had her out here playing it way too safe. Carla drops gems about showing up as your real self (even when your real self is tired) and the financial discipline it takes to buy a house without letting your Pinterest boards dictate your budget. But it wasn’t all wins—Dex opens up about how 2024 almost broke her, revealing she discovered she was "depreshee" (yes, that’s a thing), and finally got herself into therapy. Meanwhile, Carla's reflecting on how hard it can be to balance the hustle with mental health and personal growth. The hosts also take a look back at their 2024 vision boards—and let’s just say, some dreams didn’t make it off the board, but some did. They also dish on the biggest pop culture moments—Drake vs. Kendrick, TikTok influencers like Ressa Tessa and Morgan Bailey blowing up, the chaos of the U.S. election, and, of course, Beyoncé! Tune in for laughs, lessons, and plenty of hot takes as Carla and Dex close out the year with a dose of reality and a sneak peek at what’s coming next. SO WHAT NOW? TAKEAWAYS A difficult year can still be a good year. Our biggest blessings come from our toughest lessons. Don't let fake stability hold you back. Act out of wisdom not out of fear. You deserve to show up as your authentic self in all spaces. Live boldly CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en…

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EP9: Parenting Without Help: Defiant Teens, Deadbeat Dads, and the Fight for Control 1:13:43

10 weeks тому1:13:43

1:13:43

This week Carla , Dex are joined by Ariel B . The group dives into the complex world of parenting teens. As kids grow older, parenting styles and relationships need to shift, and the group explores how they are navigating these changes. Carla talks about her struggle with managing expectations, while Ariel reflects on the challenge of losing control as her children begin making their own decisions. The conversation touches on what happens when older kids break the rules, with Dex sharing her own experience of poor decision-making due to a lack of open communication with her parents. Carla and Ariel also reveal how their teens are turning to platforms like TikTok to express themselves when direct conversation feels too difficult. The trio also revisits the story of Amora Lex, the 27-year-old single mother who recently gave up her five children to CPS. The group reflects on the harsh social media backlash she's received, particularly the blaming comments about her choices in men. This leads to a broader discussion on absentee parents, red flags when dating men who aren't involved in their children's lives, and the importance of building strong, supportive communities for women. Tune in for an insightful episode filled with real talk on motherhood, judgment, and how we can support one another. SO WHAT NOW? TAKEAWAYS Parenting Teens Requires Letting Go of Control: As children grow older, parents must adjust their approach. It's important to allow teens to make their own decisions—even when it’s hard. Disobedience Isn’t Personal: Conflicts with teens often stem from a desire for control. Parents may take disobedience personally, but it's important to remember that teens are not thinking about how their actions affect their parents—they’re navigating their own path to independence. The Stigma of Single Motherhood: The story of Amora Lex, who gave up her children to CPS, sparked harsh judgment online. The group discusses the need for compassion, understanding, and support for mothers, particularly those raising children without strong family or community support. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en…

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EP 8: The Real Cost of Influencing: Plastic Surgery & Keeping up with the Joneses 1:02:23

11 weeks тому1:02:23

1:02:23

On this week’s episode Carla and Dex are diving into everything from aerial yoga (spoiler: they're not as flexible as they thought) to the real costs of being an influencer. First up, the ladies share their thoughts on Halle Berry’s latest venture—an intimacy gel for menopausal women—and celebrate her mix of business smarts and vulnerability. Then, things get juicy in the Motherhood segment with a discussion on influencer culture, including the bizarre case of Influencer Marlena Velez, who got arrested for stealing from Target. The duo debates what crime they’d commit (just for fun, promise) and why it’s important to step away from the digital world to reconnect with reality. Plus, a deep dive into body image issues—why Raven-Symoné’s decision to undergo surgery at just 15 raises some serious questions, and how we should approach celebrities’ physical transformations. Carla shares her own story of buying fake hips, while Dex gets real about butt implants. To wrap up, Dex offers a fun self-awareness assessment that might just change your perspective. Tune in for laughs, honest conversations, and a few lessons along the way! SO WHAT NOW? TAKEAWAYS Social Media Isn't Real: The pressure to "keep up with the Joneses" on social media often leads to unsustainable behaviors. It's important to remember that what you see online doesn't always reflect reality, and prioritizing authenticity over perfection is healthier for your mental well-being. The Influence of Social Media on Risky Behavior: The rise of influencer culture can pressure people into unrealistic lifestyles. From body image issues to misrepresenting your life online, these behaviors are often driven by insecurity and the desire to match a curated online persona. Take a Digital Detox for Mental Clarity: Constantly consuming social media can cloud your self-perception. Taking breaks from your phone and stepping back into real life can help you reconnect with your true values, reflect on your goals, and prioritize your mental health. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en…

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EP 7: Holiday Drama, Traditions, and Boundaries: Surviving Toxicity During the Holidays 42:53

12 weeks тому42:53

42:53

This week Carla and Dex dive into the chaos and comedy of navigating toxic family traditions during the holidays. From Carla’s journey of estrangement and her search for new holiday magic with friends to Dex’s big family and the pressure to make everything “perfect,” they share hilarious and heartfelt insights on surviving family dysfunction. Carla reflects on the bittersweet loss of old traditions while creating new ones, and Dex opens up about her childhood trauma (cue the villain origin story—spoiler: it’s all about that Barbie Dream House). The duo also tackles how to deal with negative family members and offers tips on carving out your own healthy, joyful holiday traditions. Tune in for humor, honesty, and some solid advice that might just help you survive this holiday season with your sanity—and maybe a little magic—intact. SO WHAT NOW? TAKEAWAYS Create Your Own Traditions: Whether you're estranged from family or just tired of the same old drama, it's okay to let go of toxic traditions and create new ones that bring you joy—whether that’s with friends, chosen family, or just on your own. You deserve a holiday that feels good to you. Set Boundaries with Toxic Family Members: The holidays don't have to mean enduring negativity from relatives. Learn how to politely (but firmly) set boundaries with family members who bring drama, and how to protect your mental health without feeling guilty. Make Holiday Magic for You: It's easy to get caught up in the pressure to create the "perfect" holiday for others, especially when you have a big family. Take a page from Dex’s playbook and find small, healthy traditions that keep the holiday spirit alive for you—and leave the stress behind. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en…

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EP 6: Burnout Diaries: Navigating Motherhood and Rediscovering Joy 51:46

13 weeks тому51:46

51:46

In this lively episode of The So What Now Podcast, Carla and Dex tackle everything from neighborhood drama to the emotional rollercoaster of motherhood. Carla shares her escalating battle with the local "cat lady," sparking a hilarious yet relatable discussion about boundaries and suburban chaos. Meanwhile, the duo dives into mom guilt—whether it’s Carla juggling life with a toddler and a grown daughter or Dex navigating communication in a long distance relationship with her daughter. With raw honesty and a touch of humor, the hosts reflect on burnout, personal growth, and finding unexpected joys (like crafting and ginger beer). It’s a heartwarming reminder that life’s challenges may leave us wondering, “So what now?”—but with the right mindset, a good laugh, and maybe a glue gun, we’ll get through it together. 4 Key Takeaways from This Episode: 💡 Mom Guilt is Real (and Never Ends): Carla and Dex open up about their personal experiences with mom guilt, whether it’s raising a toddler or navigating life as an empty nester, and how they’re learning to let go of unrealistic expectations. 🔥 Burnout Isn’t Just Work-Related: Dex shares her journey of uncovering the deeper layers of life burnout while Carla offers insights on creating boundaries and finding joy amidst chaos. 🌱 Parenting Evolves, So Should We: From toddler meltdowns to adult children’s independence, the duo reflects on how their parenting styles have changed and how they’re redefining what it means to be a “good mom.” 🎉 Finding Joy in the Small Things: Whether it’s crafting, cooking, or just sipping ginger beer, Carla and Dex discuss how leaning into simple joys helps them recharge and stay grounded. CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: CARLA WILMARIS | DEX 📱INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesowhatnowpodcast/ 📱TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@seethethingispod?lang=en 🎙ADVERTISE WITH US: https://www.sowhatnowpod.com/…

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EP 5: It’s Giving Thanks: Gratitude, Ambition & the "Miracle Baby" 59:12

14 weeks тому59:12