"ROYAL BLOOD!" Well, Cannonheads. The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) have one last Cannon hurrah before shooting up the coffin of The Cannon Canon. The Cannon Canon is taking an indefinite hiatus (possibly returning with a new format/focus in the future) and what better way to send us off than with Cannon's "final" movie, HELLBOUND! In this episode, T…

"So long, Sport." The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are back in Cannon Prestige territory with a stacked cast and some classy sleaze with "52 PICK UP"! Roy Scheider plays an ego-driven jerk, John Glover goes full Philly, poor Ann-Margret gets put through the wringer, Clarence Williams the III steals the show and once again.. Vanity! ”Something abou…

"This coke's kinda sweet. It's really good stuff!" The movie so nice (?) Golan and Globus made it twice! First as Lemon Popsicle and then updated for American audiences in the 80's. That's right, today the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) break out the Oingo Boingo for yet another teen sex comedy, THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN! Starring the most unlikeable w…

"Welcome to the party, pal!" Now we have a Die Hard episode HoHoHo! That's right, we're steering the sleigh away from Cannon Town to deliver the gift of our thoughts on this Holiday classic. Rub your feet on this episode carpet, grab a twinkie and declare "Yipee-ki-ya, *Mister Falcon"! (*edited for TV version). (in Hans Gruber voice) Merry Christma…

“The deal’s going down. But it’s going down twisted." The Cannon Bros travel back to the Pyuniverse and get down twisted about 1987's "DOWN TWISTED"! The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) get disoriented with all the (down) twists and turns, contemplate the "comedic relief" of the late Charles Rocket, some Cannon Oingo Boingo reuse and...oh yeah! Hey, it…

"Swamp makes a body see…whatever they wants ta see." Get on your tuxes and cook up dat gumbo, cher! Cuz we're back in Prestige Cannon territory with a drama only Cannon can add a bit of sleaze to... SHY PEOPLE! The Cannon Bros define what "Boomer Emo Porn" is, covet Martha Plimpton's shirt collection, discuss ACT-ING and finally get to go on a prop…

"Ba-Ba-Ba---Banana!" The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) experience another existential crisis thanks to this Cannon Kids Classic, "Going Bananas"! "Bonzo love Ben!" and The Cannon Cannon loves YOU, dear listener. *cue Dom DeLuise mug to camera* OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on the socials: Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@thecannoncanon…

"The good news is your dates are here. The bad news is... they're dead." Today on the Cannon Canon, the Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff), shout "Thrill me!" as they jam their skulls into another Loose Cannon just in time for SPOOKYYYYY season! It's a personal favorite, 1986's NIGHT OF THE CREEPS! In this episode, we give obligatory and heartfelt love …

”You think that when you die, you go to heaven. You come to us!” The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are taking a spooky detour this episode to cover a favorite non-Cannon horror flick, PHANTASM II ! The Cannon Bros have been talking about this one for a while and Halloween season is the perfect excuse to finally talk about it, in all its Tall Man gl…

“Rock n roll. I’ll cover you!” Today on the Cannon Canon, the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) get a suggested "Could've Been A Cannon/Loose Cannon" from Patreon member, Ed Harris! The movie? 1986's The Howling II: Your Sister Is A Werewolf! Which had an HBO/Cannon Video VHS release (hence the "Loose Cannon"). Sir Christopher Lee musters up the strength…

"Nah, that was DAMN REAL!" Today on The Cannon Cannon, The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) take on Cannon's 3D venture...in 2D. That's right, we're talkin' 1983(D)'s TREASURE OF THE FOUR CROWNS! The Cannon Bros have to grade on a curve for this one since the movie CLEARLY makes use of the 3D gimmick and the only access at the moment is in 2D (until t…

"Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot ,Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot, Cabot,…

"State of the f#@%ing art, Alex!" Yes, the Cannon Bros are FINALLY covering it. By popular demand, it's 1992's NEMESIS ! The late Albert Pyun delivers some truly fun and WTF moments in this semi-sequel to Cyborg (Nemesis was first conceived as Albert Pyun's last film under a three-picture contract with Cannon drawn up in 1987). We consider this one…

"But Seymour, there’s another verse." "Not this time, Ma.” Today on The Cannon Canon, The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) are pleasantly surprised by the unassuming dark comedy, GRACE QUIGLEY! Katherine Hepburn, Nick Nolte and Kit Le Fever star in this charming off-beat dark comedy that's a mix of "Harold and Maude" and Dr. Jack Kevorkian's euthanasia.…

He's a Teen Wolf...Too! Today we cover a "Loose Cannon" (released by Cannon Screen Entertainment in the Netherlands), TEEN WOLF TOO! Part Teen Wolf, part Rocky and a dash of The Karate Kid. Did you love the first movie? Get ready for most of the same beats but executed poorly! What's the parallel sport to high school basketball? COLLEGE BOXING, OF …

It's "Murcan" Birthday Week, Plugots! What better way to celebrate our nation's birth than with Cannon's 1986's sci-fi apocalyptic "comedy", AMERICA 3000! Joining the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) at Cannon Bros Headquarters is returning guest, Adam "Macho" Bozarth ( Left Handed Radio, WLHR Fake Public Radio)! We talk Desi Arnaz Jr connections, a Rea…

"It’s called Ice. It was big in Japan, but I haven’t seen it much here. It makes 'rock' look like decaf, babe." Today's "Could've Been A Cannon" is a true "WHAT IF?" What if Cannon had survived into the '90s? Golan and Globus DEFINITELY would've gotten a whiff of Showdown in Little Tokyo and touted it as "The movie that WILL beat Terminator 2!" whi…

"Just the one pastrami then?" Today on The Cannon Canon the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) buddy up for this 1987 "buddy" cop flick, "NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET". A movie that forces the Cannon Bros to ponder "WHY must you make us yearn for Jim Belushi?!" Billy Dee Williams plays...Billy Dee Williams and Robert Carradine is... severely miscast. On the s…

"A chemical reaction got him some action!" Cannon Canon Patreon member, Daniel Levitt, picked this month's COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON and oh, baby...this bizarre and sometimes off-putting "Sex Comedy" is quite the package. 1985's "The Party Animal" is an interesting entry ("hot beef injection"?) into the beloved 80's "sex comedy" genre. The Cannon Bros…

Murder She Wolf! Today the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) trek to grandmother’s house (in this case Golan & Globus' house of Cannon) to cover the 1985 surreal horror fantasy THE COMPANY OF WOLVES! Neil Jordan gets to Neil Jordan with this one. It's a "modern" somewhat anthology-like twist to Little Red Riding Hood...by way of Cannon and Neil Jordan of…

The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) are transported to 7th Heaven with this "COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON"! We're talkin' Berry Gordy's THE LAST DRAGON! A movie that The Cannon Bros have an undeniable nostalgic "glow" for. Once again, we swoon over the late great Vanity, praise the badassery of Sho'nuff and excuse the timidness of Leroy (he's definitely in a…

We’re fudging the rules and diving back into the HBO/Cannon video releases and today we cover a horror classic the Cannon Bros know and love, Sam Raimi’s THE EVIL DEAD (1981)! Find out which Cannon Bro is team The Evil Dead and which is team Evil Dead II! "For god's sake, what happened to her eyes!!!" but those ears are still good, so put down that…

The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) check in to let everyone know about the Cannon Canon release schedule moving forward. OUR PATREON: ⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠ Follow us on the socials: Twitter: ⁠@thecannoncanon⁠ Instagram: ⁠@thecannoncanon⁠ Please rate and review us!

”Barbecue, huh?! How do you like your ribs?!" It's another COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON and today we're talkin' 1988's ACTION JACKSON! A movie that lives in the Tango & Cash realm of irreverent joke at the time but actually better than it got credit for. It's got Vanity, Coach and pretty much every stunt guy from Die Hard. Enjoy! “I expected a standing o…

"TO ALL MY FRIENDS!" The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) stagger down to the local L.A. dive and cheers to 1987's BARFLY! A semi-autobiographical screenplay written by Charles Bukowski and directed by Barbet Schroeder. This critically acclaimed Cannon flick has Mickey Rourke taking some big drunken swings (literally AND with his acting), Faye Dunaway g…

"That's my momma!" It's our second week of covering the comedic stylings of Dreyfuss & Landsberg! This week we discuss 1987's DUTCH TREAT! A movie that literally came out MONTHS after Detective School Dropouts. Cannon had conceived a vehicle for Dutch "girl band" the Dolly Dots in 1983 and they made good on that promise...4 years later...by combini…

“They don’t make Munks like they used to!” Abbott & Costello, Martin & Lewis, Cheech & Chong...Dreyfuss & Landsberg. That's right, for the next two weeks, The Cannon Canon will be covering the Cannon comedic stylings of Lorin Dreyfuss & David Landsberg! First up, 1986's Detective School Dropouts! A mixed-bag, madcap comedic romp that leaves the Can…

“I can get an interview with a Times Square pimp!” It's Oscar season, so it's time to get prestigious here on The Cannon Canon. The Cannon Bros are dressed in their tuxes and sitting down to dissect the serious cinema of the Cannon Oscar swing, STREET SMART! Ever wanted to see a sociopathic Clark Kent? Then Street Smart is your movie! Christopher R…

“I’m gonna rip out your heart and suck your blood!” Patreon member Joaquim Dantas steps up to the Cannon Canon plate and knocks it out of the park with this COULD'VE Been A Cannon pick! 1987's ENEMY TERRITORY! Before Full Moon Productions, Charles Band ran Empire Pictures and released this gem that hits ALL the Cannon staples. It's a movie describe…

"Hay is for horses!" It's the unofficial sequel to Breakin' that barely has anything to do with Breakin'! That's right, today we're covering the 1985 Cannon finger on the pulse film "RAPPIN'"! Where Krush Groove successfully showcased the early rap scene, Rappin'...has rapping sequences of Mario Van Peebles awkwardly re-voiced by Ice-T and Master G…

The HOT continues to boil over from "Hot January" thanks to Lou Ferrigno and Sybil Danning at their hot throbbin' peak! So you know what that means...no, we already covered Hercules....the OTHER one starring sexy Lou & Syb: 1984's THE SEVEN MAGNIFICENT GLADIATORS (or as the Cannon Bros call it, "The Sev Mag Gladz")! We're talkin' Anthony Kiedis loo…

“Kill the goat! Oil the women!” Our HOT January spills over into February where we…don’t have a theme. "F#@k It February"? Today we cover Golan’s dream swing at the desert epic with 1984’s SAHARA. A film that looks great but maybe suffered from “too many cooks” syndrome. Starring young starlet (and infamously exploited) Brooke Shields and a handful…

"The song- is finished. The laughter- silent. The dream- dead." We continue to scorch the cold January air with more HOT Cannon titles! Today, we serve up two slices of piping hot beefcake with 1987's The Barbarians! Starring The Barbarian Brothers as...The Barbarians! Sword and Sorcery meets pure dumb Cannon fun! Eva La Rue charms, Michael Berryma…

“I just wanna f*******ck!” We continue our HOT January with HOT CHILI! A "teen sex comedy" that's not afraid to get bizarre and surreal now and then and also not afraid to share the exact same plot as Hot Resort. It's got sexy music lessons, gun-toting horny elders, a crazed Nazi-esque jealous husband, "ChiChi!", video blackmail, Bubba from "Mama's…

The Cannon Canon heats up a cold January with some hot flicks this month. This week we're covering the "sex comedy" (we use that term liberally), "HOT RESORT". One thing is true, there is a resort. With appearances from Bronson Pinchot, Frank "The Riddler" Gorshin" and known Hollywood creep, Dan Schneider. Does the movie live up to it's name and pr…

The Cannon Bros are kicking off the New Year with a COULD'VE BEEN A CANNON! Patreon member, Joshua Richardson, chose one of THE most Could've Been A Cannon's we've seen yet. 1986's NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE! John Stamos, Gene Simmons and Prince protege Vanity star in this wannabe Bond flick for the Pepsi generation. Is it effective Bond-fare? It certa…

"Oh. I don’t like him. Kurt Cobain? He took my cricket." We conclude our detour into "Shane Black Christmas" with a movie that revived both Shane Black and Robert Downey Jr's career, 2005's Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. A movie that paved the way for RDJ Iron Man, ultra meta storytelling and an imperfect attempt to break gay stereotypes. Frank and Geoff are…

The Cannon Bros take a detour for the reason for the season... a Shane Black Christmas! This Holiday season we celebrate the Christmas-tinged genius of Shane Black. Today we discuss our FIRST (and likely only) Marvel movie, 2013's IRON MAN 3! Shane Black gets a crack at a big-budget Marvel film and we ponder, "Is it a Shane Black Marvel movie or a …

The Cannon Bros take a detour for the reason for the season... a Shane Black Christmas! This Holiday season we celebrate the Christmas-tinged genius of Shane Black. Today we discuss 1991's THE LAST BOY SCOUT. And joining us to chat some Wayans and Willis is the last boy scout himself, Jason Gore! The Last Boy Scout is a movie where the two main sta…

The Cannon Bros take a detour for the reason for the season... a Shane Black Christmas! This Holiday season we celebrate the Christmas-tinged genius of Shane Black. Today we discuss 1996's THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT. And joining us to chat about this underrated film is John Murray! We discuss the hit-or-miss madness of Renny Harlin, the stellar perfor…

The Cannon Bros take a detour for the reason for the season... a Shane Black Christmas! This Holiday season we celebrate the Christmas-tinged genius of Shane Black. First up is 2016's criminally underrated The Nice Guys! A somewhat greatest hits of Shane Black tropes that fires on all cylinders. It's an all-out Cannon Bros gush fest, valid criticis…

"I don't like adventures!" It's November and with Thanksgiving here, we wanted to treat you to a feast this month with The Cannon Canon Commentary Cornucopia! All month long we're doing watch-alongs to some of our favorite Cannon films! This week we do a watch along for 1987's MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE! Join us as we give some Langella love, crack-wi…

Oh, our achin' banana! It's November and with Thanksgiving around the corner, we wanted to treat you to a feast this month with The Cannon Canon Commentary Cornucopia! All month long we're doing watch-alongs to some of our favorite Cannon films! This week we do a watch along for 1986's Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2! We've really come around to ol' Tobe…

"OK, USA!" It's November and with Thanksgiving around the corner, we wanted to treat you to a feast this month with The Cannon Canon Commentary Cornucopia! All month long we do watch alongs to some of our favorite Cannon films! This week we do a watch along for 1988’s Bloodsport! Watch along with The Cannon Bros as we Kumite all day, root for ANY s…

It's November and with Thanksgiving around the corner, we wanted to treat you to a feast this month with The Cannon Canon Commentary Cornucopia! All month long we do watch along to some of our favorite Cannon films! This week we do a watch along for 1985's DEATH WISH 3! Put on your bib, fire up the ol' TV and favorite podcast platform, stack up on …

We close out CARPENTOBER with the Cannon Bros favorite Carpenter film (and possibly favorite film, period) HALLOWEEN! You've heard MANY people talk about this perfect horror classic...now you get to hear us talk about this perfect horror classic! It's the night the Cannon Canon came home...and talked about their favorite Carpenter film! OUR PATREON…

“You gotta be f#@%ing kidding”. No kidding, CARPENTOBER continues with the alien paranoia classic THE THING! Considered a "failure" at the time, this Carpenter classic found the praise it deserved over the past 40 years. The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) dig this harder than a Swedish...sorry, Norwegian research team in the Antarctic. We talk kille…

LOVE LIVES TODAY! We take a slight, but relevant detour from CARPNETOBER to share our thoughts on 2022's HALLOWEEN ENDS! With The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) being huge Halloween heads (and since we did Halloween Kills), you KNOW it had to be done. Crawl out of that storm drain, throw on your plastic scarecrow mask, hop on the back of our bad boy…

CARPENTOBER continues with the wildly underrated PRINCE OF DARKNESS. An apocalyptic tale that came to Carpenter while reading about...quantum mechanics?! The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) hunker down in a creepy L.A. church and pontificate about science and religion, extraterrestrial Jesus and that awesomely creepy VHS dream transmission! Fill up o…

We're taking a detour from discussing Cannon Films this October so we can cover our favorite master of horror, JOHN CARPENTER! We're calling it, "CARPENTOBER"! To kick off CARPENTOBER, we put on our special shades to see the truth about the Carpenter classic "THEY LIVE"! A sci-fi horror that unfortunately still has relevant social and political com…