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Gather around the grill with these two follically-challenged in-laws while they take a blunt and honest approach to manhood, family life, and all aspects of men's lives. While these two do not often pull punches, they do soften the blows with comedy -- often at each others' expense. The grill is a busy place, so guests are also very common, ranging from professional athletes to the guy down the street. So, become a part of the conversation as Ashton (barely out of diapers) and Carl (almost b ...
 
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamo features a pair of grizzled gay ghouls exploring the cultural boundaries of modern beauty through interviews with gorgeous guests who inhabit various facets of the beauty industry. From models, moguls, influencers, drag queens to adult performers, actors, and more, Trixie and Katya break down the beauty behind it all. Subscribe to the ad-free version: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.tech/ We wanna make the podcast even bet ...
 
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The city is silent. The streets are empty. As a grizzled gay ghoul sits alone in a dimly-lit apartment, his belly warmed from a 12-year-old Scotch, he looks down at his crotch. It might be the booze or that ill-advised 2am bean burrito, but his little friend down south begins speaking. He strains his ears to hear what the little guy is saying: "Com…
 
As trees across the nation cease the production of chlorophyll and we celebrate the slow, agonizing death of leaves, let us pause for a moment and reflect on the little things we mistakenly deem important in our tiny, inconsequential, ultimately meaningless lives: random voicemails from 2019, Wife Swap marathons, and the image of Lady Gaga eating a…
 
Close the sashes, draw the curtains, light some candles, and let's welcome the one, the only, Guillermo from What We Do in the Shadows, Harvey Guillén! Listen as Trixie and Katya fan-girl the f**k out in an amazing interview which covers everything from Harvey's magical audition story to the show's countless running gags to the ever-expanding set &…
 
As Trixie continues her convalescence in a rustic chalet in the heart of the Swiss Alps, Katya joins her for an education on the health benefits of red wine and fondue when consumed at high altitudes. Eventually, the two touch upon such weighty topics as thermometer technology, hetero-societal wedding norms, micro-penis charities, and the perils of…
 
Fresh off a semi-successful back-alley appendix surgery in the frigid Midwest, Trixie joins Katya to talk about her end-of-life epiphany: from here on out, it's goodwill, love, and charity forever! Or, in reality, they talk about painful diarrhea, airplane breakfasts, and yeast infections. Either way, here's some brand-spanking-new Bald content for…
 
This week's episode is a special occasion, you filthy animals. So trim your nose hair, shave your shoulders, and slather on some Drakkar Noir to cover up your disgusting musk. Trixie and Katya explore such weighty topics as traveling toddlers, murderous maladies, and automotive intercourse. So dim the lamps, light the jack-o-lantern, and settle in …
 
As Fall finally arrives and brings with it the deaths of millions upon millions of poor, innocent leaves, let's take a moment to reflect on the comedic genius that is Macy Rodamn's Caitlyn Jenner impersonation. As the Bald creative team puts the finishing touches on the next great American novel, we revisit the time that artist, singer, actor, and …
 
As the Bald & the Beautiful creative team engages in To-The-Death team-building exercises in a volcano off the shores of North Africa, we'd like to revisit one of our favorite episodes with editor, producer, & creator of the legendary internet phenomenon Jiz, Jeff Maccubbin! Extraordinarily erudite topics are discussed, such as POV porn, inserting …
 
As we plan a few forthcoming Bald projects to satiate you filthy heathens, we re-visit one of our favorite episodes with the peerless, legendary, incomparable queen of TikTok, Brittany Broski (aka "Kombucha Girl"). She joins Trixie and Katya to talk about her intoxicating vanilla musk scent, the perils of meme culture, her stellar cosmeceuticals sk…
 
From rubber genitalia in a parking lot to refried bean-induced gastrointestinal distress to broom closets stuffed with depressed backup dancers, today's episode is a life-lesson in how to turn off your AM radio, sit down in a quiet room with saltines and warm milk, and thank whatever heathen god you happen to worship for your blessed life. And if y…
 
Times, friends, they are a changin'. From a full-throated endorsement of the Cheesecake Factory's Skinnylicious Menu to an erudite debate about wigs in film to a profession of unadulterated love towards Panda Express's orange chicken, this week's episode begs the question, "Should Trixie and Katya spend less time together?" Follow Trixie: @TrixieMa…
 
From the reproductive F.U.B.A.R. that is Texas to the epic grunts and fiery topspin of female tennis players to Trixie's unseating of Diplo as the world's most famous DJ, today's episode is chock-full of life lessons and inspirational teachings to help you be a better, loving human being. Or it's 45 minutes of two queens talking about sex, drugs, a…
 
From the lows of making an unfortunate calendar-based Twitter faux pas to the highs of a stupendous, scintillating, splendiferous Violet Chachki performance, today's episode is a shining beacon of light upon a hilltop surround by the dreck that is the contemporary podcast oeuvre. Put down that dollar-store frozen burrito, slap on some deodorant, an…
 
Put some extra ice in that Arnold Palmer, unwrap a refreshing York Peppermint Patty, and crank up that air conditioning, you sweaty hogs. Rejoice as we celebrate the swamp-ass-laden zenith of summer! Amidst crappy news of hurricanes and political turmoil, we take a fantastical trip down memory lane to discuss disco music, swimming pool self-abuse, …
 
If you're the type of person who enjoys a Nicolas Cage-style treasure hunt through the dark, seedy depths of pop culture, today's episode is going to arouse you. From cinematic trash to genetically-perfect Hollywood specimens to the phenomenon of Ryan Murphy market-saturation, nothing is safe from the critical gaze of Trixie and Katya. Follow Trixi…
 
It's time to pop open that Boku juice box you've been saving since the 1996 Summer Olympics and let that adult-oriented fruit juice blend wash over you in an orgasm of black cherry and white grape. Today, Trixie and Katya hold center stage to talk about the benefits of gymnastics leotards, confronting one's own mortality, and C.S.I. Miami sex. Foll…
 
It's time to put on your fancy underwear and start chilling that box wine, because the co-editors of UNHhhh, Jeff Maccubbin & Ronald Hill, join the girls in the studio to talk about the best porn scenarios, flesh-eating rockabilly chicks, and the dirty secrets to UNHhhh's brilliance. (hint: it involves dark magic and doughnuts) Follow Jeff: @EvilJe…
 
Trixie and Katya are joined this week by none other than comedians, actors, and hosts of A Woman's Smile podcast, Patti Harrison and River Ramirez. Sit down, relax, and let the auditory waves wash over your soul as this quartet of excellence cover topics ranging from masturbatory-themed podcasts, serial-killer wombs, and lubrication derived from al…
 
Grab a bucket of starburst and crack open a bottle of diet pop. This week, artist, singer, actor, and IGTV Hall of Famer Macy Rodman joins the girls in the studio to discuss her Caitlyn Jenner Impersonation, Lana Del Rey-fueled Twitter Mobs, and the absolute insanity of Wendy Williams. This one is all over the place topic-wise, but it's about the j…
 
Whilst reclining in the frigid air of Trixie's expansive manse, Trixie and Katya wax poetic about the art of creating country songs, Julia Roberts working at Sbarro, and appearing on Shark Tank to pitch Katya's footskin as a renewable resource. This one is a pure delight. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen to our podca…
 
From a far-away land where fuchsia Starburst sprout from the rich, dark soil like weeds, Trixie and Katya brave the air-conditioned elements to sit on furniture and discuss the evolutionary importance of eyebrows, how a DJ goes about dropping ill beats, and the myriad aspects that make up the perfect drag gig. (Hint: it involves Mr. Freeze from Bat…
 
It was a day like any other in Southern California; the sun shining and birds singing whilst one queen man-spreads on a couch in stone-washed jeans and another queen sits on a chair with frosted faux bangs and a creepy silk shirt featuring disembodied doll parts. In other words, 'twas a typical day in the life of the fabulously-famous multi-hyphena…
 
Have you ever wanted to hear a story about the perils of making out with hot strangers while having dead teeth? Of course you have. Enter Sarah Schauer: YouTuber, actor, copywriter, ex-Viner, and meme-generator-extraordinaire. Listen as Trixie and Katya constantly face the acknowledgement of their own mortality as they speak with a millennial about…
 
Gather 'round the grill again this week as the close-shaved cranium bros attempt to beat the buzzer on the upload... spoiler alert! They didn't... This week the boys discuss manly mixed drinks, video game streaming, and tease at an upcoming guest! Can Carl lay off pitches in the dirt? Is it ever ok to drink a cosmopolitan as a man? Can celebrities …
 
Go grab a fresh VHS tape from the freezer because you're going to want to record this one and save it forever in the knick-knack box under your mattress. This week, the girls welcome comedian, editor, producer, & creator of the legendary internet phenomenon Jiz, Jeff Maccubbin! Extraordinarily erudite topics are discussed, such as POV porn, inserti…
 
Gather 'round the actual grill this week as balding baffoons prep an excellent week of meals and completely ruin them not 30 minutes later. While prepping and cooking, the boys walk you through some tips and common misconceptions about cooking and eating healthy. Could Carl remove the echo... echo? What is the best way to cook meat in a healthy man…
 
Have you ever wondered what it's like within the nicotine-stained confines of Katya's grey matter? Well, you're about to find out. From a treatise on capitalistic hypocrisy to a deconstruction of Kate Winslet's Delco accent in Mare of Easttown to a comedy countdown of funny things that made Katya momentarily forget about her slow, unending march to…
 
Gather 'round the grill as the busy bald bros ask for your forgiveness and explain the lack of episode last week. The boys give also give some updates for new projects and ways for you, the wonderful listeners, can peek further into their lives and interact with them. As a bonus, we will be providing their phone call previous to the "episode". Did …
 
Grab a frosty beverage, find a comfy chair, and put on some of your special "nice" underwear. For today, friends, Katya shall regale you with a tale so epically grandiose that J.R.R. Tolkien will be pooping in his grave. Sit back, relax, and enjoy a thrilling look back at a freezing mountaintop in Tecate, Mexico, where a diaper-wearing mass of huma…
 
From deep in the wilds of the San Fernando Valley, two bald bastards have begun their Pride celebration in a cold, dark recording studio in the basement of a vacuum cleaner repair shop. But will they let these frigid environs prevent them from welcoming a very special guest and waxing poetic about the consistency of excrement and the secret lives o…
 
Gather 'round the grill this week with the smooth domed duo as they welcome Ashton's much paler brother Cody to the show. With no real clear topic, the boys bounce around from growing up in the 80's and 90's to meeting their wives and then somehow end up on their favorite sports moments. Will Cody be able to speak into the mic for more than 2 secon…
 
As Katya undergoes the world's first experimental belly button-bleaching surgery in the mountains of Tanzania and Trixie puts the finishing touches on her long-gestating Alf biography, the girls are blessing your ears with a much-needed revisiting of their ground-breaking, laughter-inducing, bladder-destroying first episode of the podcast. That's r…
 
Gather 'round the grill this week as the hairless hunks are joined by Max yet again. This time, they are figuring out how Max lost his neck and replaced it with back muscles. What is the recipe for ripped? What are the drawbacks of steroids? What the heck is an insertion? We answer these questions and more this week on The Bald Bros Show. Also, sor…
 
Today, the gods of show business saw fit to rain down upon the grizzled gay ghouls of the Bald and the Beautiful with the brilliance, the eminence, the sheer megawatt starness that is: Chelsea Handler. So stop what you're doing, take your spoon out of that peanut butter jar you filthy animal, and pour yourself a fizzy, New Jersey-inspired wine spri…
 
Gather 'round the grill this week as the hairless duo welcome their guest Max to talk about addiction and how to break the cycle. While this is a more serious episode, they take everything in stride, and Matt is able to speak about his difficulties with honesty and a light-hearted approach. What happened to the bleep button? Is Ashton really Darth …
 
Fresh off an insane trip to Mexico for the kitty litter party of all kitty litter parties, Katya regales us with tales of hallucinations where she had an in-depth conversation about Franklin Delano Roosevelt's economics polices with a purple frog whilst on the deck of the Titanic. (in reality, she threw up a bunch after taking some psychedelics, bu…
 
Gather 'round the grill this week as the balding beefcakes use topics given by you, the listeners, and give the usual great advice from life experiences. They field questions ranging from becoming a father to erectile disfunction with grace and aplomb. Will Ashton find a new way to annoy Carl? At what point is too much jewelry for women? Who has th…
 
Part 2 of our special Mother's Day Bald and the Beautiful Extravaganza continues as we welcome Katya's Mom to the podcast! After recovering from the only known case of COVID hemorrhoids, she is fresh out of acute posterior rehab and ready to talk about Katya's placenta, her tragic deli-based skull injuries as an infant, and the actual legal name sh…
 
Gather 'round the grill with the boys this week as they welcome the highly successful and entertaining Terry Tucker. He's an author, he's ex-SWAT, he's played against Michael Jordan and James Worthy, he's battled cancer... we're not sure if there's anything this man hasn't done. Will Ashton overtake Carl for the censor beep championships? How fast …
 
As part of our special Mother's Day Bald and the Beautiful Extravaganza, we are so excited to welcome Trixie's Mom to the show. Folks, this is like a Jerry Springer episode on steroids. We're talking extreme drug addiction, baby mamas, aliens, cults, and secret second families in Canada. In all honesty, Trixie and her Mom both led shockingly well-a…
 
Gather 'round the grill and join Ashton and Carl this week as they welcome 20 year old Paxton into the studio to discuss manhood in the newest generation. They explore what the dating climate is like for younger men these days as well as find some hidden differences. Will Ashton have more bleeps this week than Carl? Who hasn't seen Friday? Did they…
 
From advice on locating your ferociously fierce inner diva to an erudite debate on the existence of an afterlife to a deep-dive on Michael Shannon's private parts, this episode is without a doubt the best podcast episode in the history of recorded sound. Lastly, if you don't agree with this ridiculously hyperbolic statement, you're likely going to …
 
Gather 'round the grill and enjoy the sultry sounds of the dooless duo. This week the guys are joined by bald bro 2.5 and Ashton's two sisters -- one of which has very bad decision making skills and married Carl. They continue finish their lists on what every man needs to learn from three different perspectives. Will Carl ever clean up his potty mo…
 
The peerless, legendary, incomparable queen of TikTok, Brittany Broski (aka "Kombucha Girl"), joins Trixie and Katya to talk about her massive podcast, her vanilla musk scent, the perils of meme culture, her stellar cosmeceuticals skills, and the hidden joys of being internet famous in the real world. Follow Brittany: @brittany_broski Follow Trixie…
 
Gather 'round the grill with the slickest domes this side of the Rio Grande as they begin their list of things every man should learn. They are joined briefly by bald bro 2.5 as they dive in to subjects such as home repair, budgeting, and more. How badly can Carl mess up the intro? Should Ashton go back to counseling? Can bald bro 2.5 wrestle a lio…
 
Today the girls are joined by the most-famous blonde about town, makeup-artist extraordinaire, and legendary painter of beautiful faces, Darian Darling! Come for the juicy behind-the-scenes stories, stay for the self-deprecating jokes about her impossibly fabulous life. Follow Darian: @MoiDarianDarling Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Ka…
 
Gather 'round the grill as the hairless hunks continue their discussion on what makes a man a man. Tangents this week include vicious middle school girls, Carl teaching Ashton how to get a quick divorce, and the first ever bromance. How is Carl still married? Did they just have an episode without a child interruption? Can you count how many times t…
 
From a mysterious cabin in the remote wilderness comes a guest with beauty credentials that are truly unprecedented in the history of the podcast. The otherworldly deity of the forest, also known as Pearl, joins Trixie and Katya for an amazing conversation about beauty buses, glitter secrets, the magic of wilderness weed, and the joys of avoiding h…
 
Gather around the grill once again as the dudes without doos compare the different expectations placed on men throughout the generations. Are there any "real" men anymore? Do we just have outdated expectations? Will they ever have a show without the kids making guest appearances? Does Ashton miss his porn days, or are they the cause of his aversion…
 
As we look out onto the gray skies and bleak landscape that herald the doldrums of winter, this week's episode with Trixie and Katya is here to be the warm beverage that soothes your soul until the light of springtime finally arrives to brighten your day. They also discuss the perils of marathon turds. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Ka…
 
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