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Each episode addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting philosophy, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics. Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationship ...
 
Parenting: It’s the hardest job we’ll ever do. Most of us are tired, stressed, struggling through meltdowns, and counting the minutes until bedtime. But what if raising kids could feel just a little lighter? What if you could end even the hardest day feeling good about how you’re parenting? I’m Dr. Hilary Mandzik – a licensed psychologist and mama of 3 changing the way we do parenting, so there’s less stress and more joy, even in the hardest moments! Join me each week on the Raised Resilient ...
 
Jen Lumanlan always thought infancy would be the hardest part of parenting. Now she has a toddler and finds a whole new set of tools are needed, there are hundreds of books to read, and academic research to uncover that would otherwise never see the light of day. Join her on her journey to get a Masters in Psychology focusing on Child Development, as she researches topics of interest to parents of toddlers and preschoolers from all angles, and suggests tools parents can use to help kids thri ...
 
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show series
 
As parents, we all want to help our kids build frustration tolerance. It can be so tough – for us and for them! – when our kids shut down before they even give something a chance. But sometimes the things we do to try to help our children tolerate frustration better only make things harder. (Frustrating, right?) In this week’s episode, I share why …
 
Adrianna and Tim had read all the parenting books. (And I mean ALL the books.) But NOTHING seemed to be working. They were still feeling frustrated with their kids on a very regular basis. And their kids were fighting what seemed like every second of the day. They joined the Parenting Membership last May, and the transformation our community has se…
 
Janet discusses the challenges and benefits of authenticity -- how being real with our children helps us to achieve our goals as parents, strengthens our relationship, and even makes our lives easier. Janet says that it was Magda Gerber who modeled authenticity for her, and her teachings “freed me to embrace my authentic, messy inner life and my me…
 
If we want to help our children develop emotion regulation, allowing them to express their feelings is key. But what do you do when you have to be somewhere, but your child is having a tantrum? Or what about when you have multiple kids who all need you at once – like when your toddler is crying, but your baby needs a diaper change? How do you meet …
 
Dealing with hitting, kicking, biting, pushing, scratching, spitting, and other aggressive behaviors in our children is one of the hardest parts of parenting. If you struggle in these moments, you’re so not alone! Aggressive behaviors during tantrums and meltdowns can be SO triggering and tricky. In this week’s episode, I dive into why these aggres…
 
Recently someone posted a question in one of my communities: “Is it really so wrong to want my child to just LISTEN to me sometimes? It seems like such a no-no in gentle parenting circles, and I’m worried that my child is growing up to be entitled and won’t know how to respect authority when they really HAVE to.” Parent Chrystal gave such a beautif…
 
Janet’s guest is the world-renowned nutritionist, family therapist, and author Ellyn Satter. Throughout her long career, Ellyn has successfully addressed issues related to eating and feeding and taught parents how to transform meals into happy, healthful, struggle-free events. “There is so much interference with sensible feeding,” Ellyn says. Her w…
 
Most of us grew up hearing “good job” or “I’m proud of you” when we did things that pleased our parents. And because we grew up hearing these things, it probably comes naturally to say them to our own kids – which seems innocent enough, right? In today’s episode, I explore the effects of different ways of praising our kids – and I talk about which …
 
“On average, authoritative parents spanked just as much as the average of all other parents. Undoubtedly, some parents can be authoritative without using spanking but we have no evidence that all or even most parents can achieve authoritative parenting without an occasional spank.” I was fascinated by this statement, since authoritative parenting i…
 
Have you ever sat with your child in a tough moment and said ALL the “right” things … but your child only seems to get more & more upset? It can be SO hard! I’ve been there, too. In this week’s episode, I talk about what our kids need MOST from us in difficult moments & explore four common mistakes we make when trying to validate our children’s fee…
 
In her book Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home, Toko-pa Turner talks about the disconnection we feel from others, as well as from our own selves, because of the experiences we’ve had in our childhood. While Toko-pa’s childhood was traumatic by any definition, even those of us who didn’t experience severe trauma were told - either verbally or non…
 
One of the most common misconceptions about parenting in a way that allows children to express all feelings is that kids basically get to do whatever they want. But that could not be further from the truth; allowing all feelings never means allowing all behaviors! The truth is that boundaries are essential in parenting … but actually setting them c…
 
Janet responds to a series of questions from her inbox about some typical behavior challenges parents face. Topics include a child refusing to follow directions, another who stirs up a sibling's emotions leaving the parent struggling to cope with her two upset children at once, a daughter who repeats her parent's foul language, and a son who reflec…
 
I talk a lot about how our children’s behaviors are actually a window into what’s going on for them “under the surface”; their behaviors communicate skills that they haven’t yet developed, impulses they can’t yet control, and sometimes needs that haven’t been met. And that last one – the part about unmet needs – can be really triggering to think ab…
 
I don’t know about you, but I spent a LOT of time thinking about my birth plan before Carys was born. I mean, that thing went through multiple iterations as I read new books about the birth process and thought about what I wanted mine to be like. And I got lucky; we didn’t stray too far from the plan (except that that whole ‘urge to push’ thing? We…
 
Most of us grew up being told to “say sorry!” if we did something wrong. And maybe we learned to say the words … but I would argue that in saying these words, we didn’t actually feel remorse or learn how to repair our mistakes in any real way. In this episode, I share why I don’t force my kids to apologize (& why I recommend you don’t, either). I e…
 
In response to Janet's article “When Your Child Seems Stuck Seeking Negative Attention,” a parent says her daughter will whine and cry while making "reasonable" requests for snuggles and food and play, but when she obliges, her daughter often then refuses those things. If she says no to her daughter’s requests, “it escalates into crying hard and be…
 
We've already covered a couple of episodes on sleep, including the cultural issues associated with sleep, then more recently we talked with Dr. Chris Winter about his book The Rested Child where we looked at sleep issues in older children. But if you have a young child who isn't sleeping well, from the baby stage all the way up to about preschool, …
 
One of the most important jobs we have as parents is helping our children learn to regulate their emotions ... but HOW do we actually do this? The answer seems so simple: We do this by allowing ALL of our children’s feelings to exist in our safe presence. But what does that actually mean? What does it look like in practice? In today’s episode, I un…
 
The band The Alphabet Rockers consists of lead members Kaitlin McGaw and Tommy Shepherd, and a multi-racial group of children who are also involved in writing and performing. They write about their real lived experiences and their desire to live in a world where everyone belongs. Kaitlin and Tommy are actually fellows at the Othering and Belonging …
 
Have you ever lost your cool with your child? Have you yelled, said things you didn’t mean, or given in (when you know you shouldn’t) just to avoid a meltdown? The guilt we feel in these moments can be SO heavy. And sometimes that guilt makes it hard to know how to move forward. In today’s episode, I’m going to walk you through the process of repai…
 
Inspired by a listener's request, Janet offers a list of daily reminders that she hopes will help parents meet the challenges of their day with more clarity, calmness, and confidence.Thanks again to Ritual Vitamins for supporting this podcast. Turn healthy habits into a Ritual today and get 10% off your first 3 months by visiting www.ritual.com/res…
 
Anger is one of the trickiest emotions we deal with as parents. When our kids are angry – especially *at* us – it can be SO tough to stay calm and regulated and to respond in a way that feels good! In today’s episode, I explore WHY anger is so tricky (hint: it’s related to our OWN feelings!), and I share some ideas to help you navigate your child’s…
 
This episode is a continuation of the series on the intersection of children and food. We've also heard from Dr. Lindo Bacon on busting myths about fat, Dr. Michael Goran on how sugar affects our children, Dr. Karen Throsby with a more high-level view on the sugar topic, and Ellyn Satter on her Division of Responsibility approach. My guest in this …
 
Have you ever wondered what terms like “respectful parenting”, “gentle parenting”, and “peaceful parenting” actually mean? In today’s episode, I share why I’m not a fan of labels – and then I talk about the major ideas that define MY approach to parenting. (Hint: They all come back to parenting in a way that feels good – for you AND your child.) If…
 
A parent describes experiencing a dramatic shift in her parenting perspective through the ideas Janet offers in her podcasts and books. The developmentally appropriate lens suggested by Janet and her mentor Magda Gerber has transformed this parent's relationship with her baby. She is gaining more compassion for her child and herself, learning to re…
 
We all want to parent in a way that feels good. But raising kids is HARD, and there’s no instruction manual! It’s easy to find yourself struggling & wondering if you’re getting it right. Today, in the very first episode of Raised Resilient, I'm sharing my own journey into the world of respectful parenting – and the 3 ideas that have empowered me to…
 
One day Iris took her daughter to the park, with enough snacks with for both of them. When Iris got hungry, she asked her daughter to share some of the food - but her daughter refused. Iris knows that hunger is a factor that dramatically narrows her Window of Tolerance and makes it more likely that she’ll snap at her child’s behavior, so she asked …
 
A single parent writes that she is frustrated and exhausted by her almost 3-year-old’s constant resistance. Every aspect of their lives is either a negotiation or a struggle: dressing, leaving the house, getting into his car seat, drop-offs at school. This mom describes some recent big transitions in her boy’s life, and she is sensitive to the poss…
 
We’ve covered the topic of boundaries before, in our conversation with Xavier Dagba. In my work with parents, I see that an inability to set boundaries is a MAJOR cause of feeling triggered by our child’s behavior. When we snap at our child’s behavior, it often (not always, but often) comes somewhat later in the day. There’s a reason for that: it’s…
 
Parenting: It’s the hardest job we’ll ever do. Most of us are tired, stressed, struggling through meltdowns, and counting the minutes until bedtime. But what if raising kids could feel just a little lighter? What if you could end even the hardest day feeling good about how you’re parenting? I’m Dr. Hilary Mandzik – a licensed psychologist and mama …
 
I’ve been thinking about producing this episode for several years now, and I always wished I wouldn’t need to do it. Then every few months I’d see a post in an online community saying something like “Is spanking really that bad? I was spanked and I turned out fine” and I knew that one day I’d have to do an episode on it - so here it is. My guest, P…
 
When I interviewed Dr. Chris Winters last year, I described how we’ve been using a No Set Bedtime method with our daughter Carys. He used it with his children starting in the Elementary years, and his eyes nearly fell out of his head when I told him we’d been using it since Carys was about three. In the email about the Dr. Winters interview I asked…
 
While every child will eventually and inevitably learn to use the potty, the process can be stressful, frustrating, and often counterproductive for both the child and caregiver. Janet knows it doesn’t have to be this way. She offers her perspective on the process and a potty learning method that recognizes a child’s natural motivation to achieve th…
 
In this episode we hear from parent Amy, who is a White parent married to a Black man raising four biracial children in Colorado. Amy has been on quite a journey to explore her role as a descendant of Puritans who came to the United States looking for religious freedom on her father’s side, and of Irish Catholics on her mother’s side. She sees how …
 
This episode continues our conversation on the topic of children and food. A few months ago we heard from Dr. Lindo Bacon about how the things we’ve learned about obesity might not actually be the whole story. Then we talked with Ellyn Satter about the approach she devised called Division of Responsibility, which holds the parent/caregiver responsi…
 
A parent writes that she and her husband are concerned their toddler feels responsible for their emotions. This is a trait they both recognize from their own backgrounds. “He asks again and again, ‘Happy, mommy?’ as if he’s trying to help me be happy.” This mom says that if she admits that, no, she is not entirely happy at the moment, he gives her …
 
“Storytelling? I’m already reading books to my child – isn’t that enough?” Your child DOES get a lot out of reading books (which is why we’ve done a several episodes on that already, including What children learn from reading books, How to read with your child, and Did you already miss the boat on teaching your toddler how to read?. But it turns ou…
 
Way, waaay back in Episode 3, we wondered whether we had missed the boat on teaching our babies to read (didn’t you teach your baby how to read?). We eventually decided that we hadn’t, but given that many parents have a goal of instilling a love of reading into their children, what’s the best way to go about doing that? And what if your child is th…
 
Pediatric sleep expert Grace Koinange joins Janet this week to share her experience, knowledge, and a few secrets for helping babies and toddlers to sleep. Janet had the privilege of seeing Grace in action and was impressed by her ability to tune in to a baby's most subtle cues and support his individual sleep rhythm. Grace and Janet discuss consis…
 
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