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Betrayal is traumatic, and those who have been betrayed by partners living secret lives of sexual addiction deserve to be empowered and supported with knowledge and resources to allow them to move from shock through grief and into growth. On Betrayal Recovery Radio, our host, Dr. Jake Porter, lays out important topics for both sex addicts and their betrayed partners through conversations leading to hope and healing. Betrayal Recovery Radio is the official podcast of The Association of Partne ...
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Healing a relationship that is impacting by addiction, adultery, and betrayal requires hope. Many couples find themselves feeling hopeless after discovery and struggle to imagining having hope again. Hope is an anchor that keeps us grounded in our values and reality. This empowering discussion will offer tools on how to cultivate hope and build str…
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Cat Etherington is the Director of Recovery for Naked Truth Project, an international ministry opening eyes and freeing lives from the damaging impacts of pornography and other problematic sexual behaviors. Cat is a certified professional life coach and integrative therapist, working with individuals and couples impacted by problematic sexual behav…
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In this episode of *Betrayal Recovery Radio*, Dr. Jake Porter hosts a discussion with Pam Blizzard and Steph Farnsworth, exploring the complex layers of relational abuse within the context of betrayal trauma. They define relational abuse as a covert, disempowering experience, highlighting how behaviors like gaslighting and manipulation compound the…
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In this episode of *Betrayal Recovery Radio*, Dr. Jake Porter hosts a discussion with Pam Blizzard and Steph Farnsworth, exploring the complex layers of relational abuse within the context of betrayal trauma. They define relational abuse as a covert, disempowering experience, highlighting how behaviors like gaslighting and manipulation compound the…
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In recent years, the demand for "intensive treatment" has increased, as more and more betrayed partners seem methods of accelerating their healing process. Though relatively new to the field of professional counseling and coaching, intensives have become keystone elements of some individuals' recovery journeys. In this episode, Dr. Jake is joined b…
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Advances in neurotherapy now allow specialized clinicians to take much of the guesswork out of understanding and working toward healing for those affected by trauma. APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Laura Childers is just such an expert, using cutting edge technologies to look into the brains of betrayed partners and recovering addicts …
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In today's episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, we delve into the complexities of the holiday season, a time filled with joy but often marred by the challenges of betrayal trauma. Joined by Rebecca Ray, we'll navigate the delicate dynamics faced by those affected by betrayal, whether as the betrayed or the betrayer. Rebecca Ray is a Licensed Marriag…
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In this interview I share the results of my Masters thesis which show that rates of domestic violence are considerably higher in the lives of partners of sex addicts than in the general population. This is significant because women are arriving daily on therapists’ doorsteps seeking help for betrayal trauma, but with their experiences of DV under r…
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Welcome to another thought-provoking episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, hosted by Dr. Jake Porter. In this engaging installment titled "Navigating Betrayal: Answering the Hard Questions with Conversations Podcast," we delve deep into the complex landscape of betrayal within relationships. Joining Dr. Jake in this enlightening discussion are esteem…
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Often when doing couples recovery work, the approach is from a neurotypical lens following betrayal trauma and sex addition. This may work for many couples, but what about when these approaches aren’t working for the long term healing of the relationship? Many couples share that it can be frustrating and discouraging especially when both partners i…
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In this podcast episode, we explore the Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training (BTRL), a customized program designed for professionals within religious and faith-based communities. Our interview with Aviva Kohl and Barbara Steffens uncovers the core of BTRL, focusing on the APSATS Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM). Attendees learn to …
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Sex addiction and betrayal doesn't have to take your parenting to new lows. In fact, by focusing on your core values you can realign your efforts to breathe new life into your parenting. People wonder what to tell the children and how to become a "family in recovery." It is possible to achieve peak parenting by recognizing your weak spots and using…
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When your partner has a sexual addiction, acting out comes with the territory. Dealing with it is hard, even learning about it can be traumatic. But what about the behaviors INSIDE the relationship? How do you recognize and respond to inappropriate treatment from a partner? How do you become personally and relationally healthier when at least some …
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In this episode, the Dr. Jake and Pam Blizzard delve into the realm of cognitive distortions often experienced by partners post-betrayal. They explore how trust erosion affects perception, leading to misconceptions such as overgeneralization, emotional reasoning, and catastrophizing. Real-life stories illustrate these distortions, while expert Jake…
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In this episode, the Dr. Jake and Pam Blizzard delve into the realm of cognitive distortions often experienced by partners post-betrayal. They explore how trust erosion affects perception, leading to misconceptions such as overgeneralization, emotional reasoning, and catastrophizing. Real-life stories illustrate these distortions, while expert Jake…
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The field of Sex Addiction has grown and expanded immensely over the last two decades, and as a result the field has a much greater understanding of not only the betraying partner but the betrayed. However, those who were in early childhood, perhaps teens, two decades ago have since grown into adulthood. As a result the sex addiction field is rapid…
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The field of Sex Addiction has grown and expanded immensely over the last two decades, and as a result the field has a much greater understanding of not only the betraying partner but the betrayed. However, those who were in early childhood, perhaps teens, two decades ago have since grown into adulthood. As a result the sex addiction field is rapid…
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In the second part of this moving interview, Dr. Jake asks Fran Hopwood to reflect on the healing and recovery journey that she and her late husband Richard followed over the last nine years. The focus will be on Richard and his story of transformation and growth as an individual and as part of a coupleship. Richard's early problematic sexual behav…
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In this moving interview, Dr. Jake asks Fran Hopwood to reflect on the healing and recovery journey that she and her late husband Richard followed over the last nine years. The focus will be on Richard and his story of transformation and growth as an individual and as part of a coupleship. Richard's early problematic sexual behaviour re-emerged wit…
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"What if my husband won't see a therapist?" "When should we start having sex again?" "Why is he sober but still not connecting?" In this episode, Dr. Jake interviews the hostesses of the Hope for Wives podcast — Lyschel Burkett, Bonnie Burns, and Pam Blizzard. The three women are able to balance a plain-spoken, no-nonsense telling of the truth with…
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Over the last two decades, the way mental health professionals understand and treat the experience of betrayal has radically shifted from an emphasis on co-addiction and codependency to an embrace of the traumatic nature of intimate betrayal. In this conversation with Stacey Sadler, Cheryl Rogers, and Kathy Reynolds, they reflect both personally an…
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Grief: The sticky middle piece of the betrayal recovery experience and the place many partners and couples get stuck. It seems that many in Western culture have lost the intuitive communal mourning processes that are still so common in other cultures. We have individualized and privatized our grief and mourning into a strictly personal affair. But …
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Carol the Coach returns to Betrayal Recovery Radio to share more about how to heal from betrayal. In this conversation with Dr. Jake, she focuses on the stages of healing from betrayal trauma and also goes deep into the topic of posttraumatic growth. Carol also gives a sneak peak into her upcoming keynote at the Restoring Hearts Conference. Links i…
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We are inherently social beings. Our brains are wired to connect, and when we feel disconnected, we struggle. If we feel isolated, our chances of having some type of psychiatric diagnosis increases. In the brain, the mirror neuron network helps us to understand subtleties in social, emotional and linguistic interchanges. The extended mirror neuron …
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The aftermath of betrayal can put all of our relationships into question. Secrecy, confusion, fear of judgement, and shame can lead to the loss of long time relationships as a woman sorts through her pain and tries to make sense of her reality. Join us as we talk with Lyschel Burket, Lead Hope Caster for Hope Redefined and podcast co-host for Hope …
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In marriages and intimate relationships affected by sexual addiction, it is not uncommon for emotional abuse be present. Sometimes the abusive behaviors can increase with more intensity when the one struggling with the addiction becomes "sober" but is not fully committed to recovery. These behaviors are often maladaptive coping mechanisms fueled by…
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While GASLIGHTING is now a pop-culture buzz word, AND Merriam-Webster's word of the year, a lot of what is out there is either misinformation, or incomplete information. The result? A LOT of people are incorrectly slapping the label of gaslighting on to situations that are actually NOT a gaslighting experience. The overuse of the word has left most…
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TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains content that could be upsetting or painful to individuals at particular points in their journey to healing from trauma. Please honor your intuition about whether this is the right time for you to engage this episode. Discovering the specifics of your partner's sexual fantasies or behaviors can be devastating a…
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(Part 2 of 2) "Family of Origin" is the term used in counseling work to refer to the relational systems into which we were born and raised. Our families of origin leave lasting impacts on us all. They are the source of so many of our most basic ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. A crucial step in healing for all people is to gain an awareness…
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(Part 1 of 2) "Family of Origin" is the term used in counseling work to refer to the relational systems into which we were born and raised. Our families of origin leave lasting impacts on us all. They are the source of so many of our most basic ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. A crucial step in healing for all people is to gain an awareness…
  continue reading
 
Everything about your sexual health is impacted when you are betrayed by someone you love and trust. Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, an ASSECT Certified Sex Therapist, and an APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist. She helps betrayed partners move from unhealthy to healthy sexuality in the healing process after …
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Sex addiction is often an intimacy disorder. For many, its roots take hold during the early stages of childhood development when we should be given the instruction and nurturing needed to emotionally bond with others. When this does not happen, we struggle to feel love, or for that matter, feel any emotions. We are emotionally undeveloped. This lea…
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Betrayal Trauma is a reality. It’s not weakness of character, lack of forgiveness, or a sign of resentment. The discovery of secret betrayal has a literal, physical affect on the brain and its ability to process and act upon the data we take in as we move through life. In this episode, you’ll hear the second half of Dr. Jake Porter’s keynote presen…
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Betrayal Trauma is a reality. It’s not weakness of character, lack of forgiveness, or a sign of resentment. The discovery of secret betrayal has a literal, physical affect on the brain and its ability to process and act upon the data we take in as we move through life. In this episode, you’ll hear the first half of Dr. Jake Porter’s keynote present…
  continue reading
 
Betrayed partners are usually so traumatized by the discovery of their partners' addiction or betrayal that they are trying to just put together the reality of what life is and has truly been. The first phase of healing from betrayal trauma is safety and stabilization. One of the first things that needs to happen is to find out what the betrayed pa…
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Divorce might seem like the obvious answer when betrayal occurs, but there are ways to save a marriage or relationship if the betrayer and partner are willing to step into healing. In this conversation between Dr. Jake and APSATS Certified Partner Coach Kim Hansen Petroni, they discuss the topic of divorce after the betrayal from several angles. Li…
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One of the trickiest scenarios recovering addicts and betrayed partners must navigate involves disclosure to children. How much do you tell? When do you share? Who should do it? While there's no one-size-fits-all approach to answer these questions, some principles are generally helpful to those who are facing this reality. In this episode, APSATS-t…
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(This is the second part of a two-part series on core values. If you've not yet heard part one, go listen to that first!) Everyone has values. Some people choose their values on purpose. Others fall into valuing things that lead them away from the life they want most. Core values act as guides, pointing us in the direction of our dreams, hope, and …
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Everyone has values. Some people choose their values on purpose. Others fall into valuing things that lead them away from the life they want most. Core values act as guides, pointing us in the direction of our dreams, hope, and expectations. This is true for individuals, but it can be true for couples, as well. Discover the power of shared values i…
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In this conversation on the needs of couples after the discovery of sexual addiction, Dr. Jake is joined by Carol the Coach discuss her ERCEM model, the Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model. Jake and Carol talk about the three phases of healing for betrayal trauma, and how the betraying partner can help to heal the relationship, despite being the c…
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In Julie's interview, she will discuss why attunement is important, how it can be developed, the three C's of Non-Verbal Communication: context, cluster, congruency. Albert Mehrabian's 55%, 38%, 7% Rule states that only 7% of what we communicate is with words, and yet we focus so many tools on this aspect. The rest of what we say is through signals…
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Betrayal can be devastating to your partner and your relationship, but many couples still love one another and are committed to mending their relationships. In order to do this, it is important for the unfaithful party to understand the traumatic nature of betrayal, and understand how to respond sensitively to their partner's pain. It is also criti…
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Many people initially seek therapy for problems in their intimate relationships unaware that attachment patterns established in childhood directly affect behavior in their adult relationships. It is important to dismantle and become mindful of survival strategies unconsciously created in childhood that cause dysfunction in adult life. Neglect and o…
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After the discovery of sexual betrayal, betrayed partners need much more than "mere sobriety" for trust to be rebuilt. In this episode, Dr. Jake interview APSATS Certified Partner Coach Michelle Dyett-Welcome on the topic of life integrity. By focusing on issues of character and the necessity of core values living, those who have committed betrayal…
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In this episode, Dr. Jake reflects on some of the things he's learned over the years he's worked with sex addicts and betrayed partners. He discusses why these lessons are important for both professionals in the field but also those individuals seeking to recovery from the consequences of addiction and betrayal. Dr. Jake expands on these eight less…
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Discovery of sexual betrayal erodes safety, trust and intimacy in relationships. This brings devastation to the partner and the relationship. So how do we start the process of healing after sexual betrayal? One major way to begin healing is through a formal disclosure process, facilitated by a professional. In this episode, we’ll explore what a for…
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Our difficult life experiences and traumas, including those we have collectively experienced in the last few years, have created an opening for personal growth, healing, and an opportunity to connect within our community in a way that we were never offered in the past. Through her own experience of walking through personal devastation and loss whil…
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When someone is suffering from Betrayal Trauma, they are typically frightened, angry, confused, sometimes frozen in a state of shock wanting to just feel safe. So safety and stabilization is the immediate mission with a betrayed partner. Throughout the healing process the partner will constantly be pointed back to the issue of safety because that i…
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Both the addict and the partner suffer from the loss of time, meaning, and clarity. Connecting together through pain, shame, and helplessness (vulnerability) enables them to recreate a shared story of suffering and recovering together. Learning to grieve one's own losses is critical for individual recovery; learning to grieve shared losses is criti…
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Grief is an inevitable part of the healing processes for those who have been impacted by the discovery of betrayal, as well as for those who have done the betraying. Grief and mourning, the second phase of APSATS Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model, is where those who have experienced loss begin to create a new meaning that leads to healing and t…
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