Andrew G Marshall відкриті
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Hello, I am a marital therapist, communications trainer and author. I have thirty-five years helping couples and individuals make better relationships. I have written twenty-plus self-help books which include the international best-sellers ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’ and ‘How can I ever trust you again?’ My books have been translated into twenty languages. I trained with RELATE the UK’s largest counselling charity. Perhaps it has been turning sixty but I have become interested ...
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An anxious attachment style is very common, and can lead to chaotic and unsuccessful relationships. Research suggests that anxious types are more prone to insecurity, jealousy, codependency, and other behaviours that get in the way of finding and sustaining love. In this episode psychotherapist Jessica Baum talks with Andrew about identifying and u…
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People-pleasing is an ultimately futile and self-defeating approach to life. If we focus on making everyone else happy, we can end up frustrated, confused and resentful. Ironically, in trying to be “Mr Nice Guy”, people-pleasers often end up driven into behaviour that is anything but nice. This week Andrew talks to therapist and author Dr Robert Gl…
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If our partner really loved us, wouldn’t everything be a lot easier? If they were “the one”, surely we wouldn’t be losing our minds over towels dropped on the bathroom floor? In this episode marital therapist Dr Cheryl Fraser joins Andrew to discuss the destructive myth of the soulmate. According to Cheryl, there is no such thing as a soulmate. Whe…
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Good therapy changes lives: people stop worrying as much, they make better decisions, they are kinder to themselves and their loved ones, they achieve more at work, they can control their anger, they are able to stop destructive habits, they form loving relationships. This week therapists Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton talk to Andrew about their n…
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How can we live with loss? What can we do when death shakes to the core our comfortable belief that life is predictable, the world is just, and people are reliable? This week Dr Robert A. Neimeyer of the Portland Institute for Loss and Transition joins Andrew to discuss the work of grief. Andrew and Robert discuss the task of rebuilding meaning in …
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Have you allowed yourself to explore your sexual fantasies, or do they feel like dark territory that is off-limits? Have you explored them with your partner? This week I talk to Jungian psychotherapist Dr Douglas Thomas about his new book, The Deep Psychology of BDSM and Kink. We cover: Why it’s so hard to talk about your fantasies with your partne…
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If you were raised in a sad, chaotic home, you will unsurprisingly experience difficulties in your adult relationships. If your parents were cold and distant and discouraged the expression of emotions, you’ll be equally ill-prepared for successful relationships or effective parenting. This week Andrew talks to Dr Samantha Rodman Whiten (also known …
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Estrangement from adult children can be one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. This week, Andrew talks to Dr Joshua Coleman, the author of Rules of Estrangement. They discuss: Why estrangement has become so common Why estrangement isn’t a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adul…
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Could the ancient wisdom of Taoism help us with the emotional challenges of modern life? Author and Taoist priest Greg Ripley believes that a little-known 6th-century Taoist text called the Bai Yao Lu (Statutes of the Hundred Remedies) offers some profound answers. In this episode, Greg and Andrew discuss some of the Hundred Remedies, and how they …
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For many women, intense caring and nurturing relationships cause their inner fire to dim, leaving them feeling they have lost themselves. Author and Jungian analyst Lisa Marchiano’s new book is called The Vital Spark: Reclaim Your Outlaw Energies and Find Your Feminine Fire. Lisa wrote the book to help women “break free from the conditioning that h…
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Menopause is a seismic transition for women, and for their partners. The physical and emotional changes it brings will undoubtedly reverberate into a couple’s sex life. Irish therapist Beth Wallace believes that this transition can be an opportunity rather than an ending. While decreases in hormones definitely impact women’s bodies in some detrimen…
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If you’ve suffered serious trauma, you may well be feeling confused by the sudden ubiquity of the term. The concept of trauma is having its cultural moment in the sun, and seems to be constantly under discussion on social media. This week, Andrew speaks to Jeremy Fox, a therapist and trauma specialist, about: How to define trauma Different types of…
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I’m excited to launch my new online course for couples: My Best Relationship Tools. This week, I talk with my friend and podcast engineer, Michael Dooney, about how the course can make a difference in your relationship. We discuss: Why couples struggle to communicate How to stop using failing strategies New ways of approaching conflict How to liste…
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Each and every one of us is awesome in some way - but, we are also human. Author, speaker and entrepreneur Nataly Kogan wrote her Awesome Human Journal to help people learn to honour their humanity, whilst also strengthening their emotional fitness. In this episode, Andrew and Nataly discuss how to: Edit your thoughts and quiet your inner critic Sa…
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Hopes, dreams and goals stretch far into the future, but intentions are about the present. Setting intentions means translating your goals into small steps you can achieve right now. Intentionality offers you a roadmap for progress and personal growth. In this episode Andrew talks with therapist Erin Vandermore about what it means to set intentions…
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More than one third of adults suffer from insomnia or some other kind of sleep disorder. Left unaddressed, lack of sleep can lead to debilitated health, lowered resilience, and decreased performance in all aspects of life. Psychologist, author and spiritual teacher Philip Carr-Gomm’s latest book is The Gift of the Night. The book combines an extens…
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Better sex, coping with strong emotions, healing your inner child and harnessing the power of compassion: these were some of the big themes that spoke to The Meaningful Life listeners in 2023. Jon from the Marshall Method team of therapists is Andrew’s special guest for this New Year’s Day episode. Andrew and Jon each choose their favourite episode…
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Christmas isn’t usually thought of as a romantic holiday, but this week Dr Cheryl Fraser explores some of the ways you and your partner can share intimacy, sensuality and thrill over the winter break (however you choose to celebrate). Andrew and Cheryl discuss: Making the most of beautiful moments. Finding the strength to say no. Planning ahead so …
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American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson taught a path of self-reliance and self-knowledge. He emphasised self-knowledge and mindfulness as paths to happiness; also, self-reliance, cooperation, non-conformity, originality, adaptability, and receptiveness. This week, Andrew talks to author and teacher Mark Matousek about how Emerson’s twelve essenti…
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The idea of “imposter syndrome” has found its cultural moment - we hear it talked about constantly, and many of us resonate with the idea of feeling like a fraud in our work or relationships. In this episode, Susan Schwartz PhD returns to the podcast to help explore the concept of imposter syndrome in more depth. Susan and Andrew discuss The ways i…
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Setting boundaries can seem really hard - you wonder how the other person will react, and whether you’re strong enough to manage such a task. You’re perhaps not even sure of the difference between boundary-setting and laying down an ultimatum. Relationship expert Krystal Mazzola Wood likes to focus on the good news. If you CAN learn to set healthy …
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Nobody dreams of becoming a stepmother. Yet for Michelle Brown, a blogger and step-parenting expert, being a step-mother feels like something she was meant to do. Michelle has a unique bond with her step-son, and through her writing she has also become a light in the darkness for many new step-parents struggling to make things work. Michelle is the…
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The divorce rate for second marriages is in most countries higher than the rate for firsts. If you’re onto a second or third marriage (or if you’re contemplating one) you’ll need a strong toolkit. In this episode, Andrew welcomes marital therapist Terry Gaspard back to the podcast for a second interview, this time to discuss the particular challeng…
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Healing from profound exhaustion of the spirit requires more than just thinking of a good plan. Author and Jungian Bea Gonzalez believes in storytelling and myth as powerful tools for healing. In this episode, Andrew and Bea discuss: Why fairy tales have so much to teach us. Rediscovering feminine wisdom (which both men and women need) How to analy…
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“Shame is a powerful, universal, mysterious emotion. It can be incredibly painful and destructive AND it is designed to protect you” (Sheila Rubin). Marriage therapist Sheila Rubin is a leading authority on how to heal the shame that might be holding you back in your relationships and your life. In this interview, Andrew and Sheila discuss how to a…
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Quitting - jobs, marriages, musical instruments - is often seen as a sign of a weak character. Author and journalist Julia Keller is on a mission to reframe quitting as an act of self-love, which can help us lead more meaningful lives. This week Andrew and Julia discuss why it is that we value perseverance and “grit” so heavily, how to know when en…
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Most couples grapple with mismatched levels of sexual desire at some point. Some find destructive solutions - pornography, infidelity - but it IS possible to deal with this in a positive way. This week Fabian Edzard Schneider chats with Andrew about the daily self-pleasure routine he is using to fulfil his sexual needs while his wife recuperates fr…
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Forget fair fighting, what you and your partner should aim for is win-win problem solving. According to psychologist Dr Susan Heitler, If you can learn to investigate and share the deep-seated emotions behind a particular argument, the two of you can emerge stronger and more connected as a couple. In this week’s episode, Andrew and Susan explore ho…
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If you wanted children but weren’t able to have them, you are tasked with making peace with a life you didn’t choose. This grieving process occurs inside a culture that often has little respect for the childless. In this episode, Andrew speaks with psychotherapist Jody Day about grief, how ageing is different if you are not a parent, and how to fin…
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Our “shadow” is made up of the unconscious parts of ourselves that we try to suppress or deny. Acknowledging and understanding shadow can be a powerful path to healing and authenticity. If we pursue spiritual growth, we will certainly encounter shadow - both our own, and those of our teachers (whose secret desires around money, sex and power can co…
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How do we fall in love? And do men and women experience this differently? Psychiatrist Dr Paul Dobransky has combined science with the study of real-life case studies, and concludes that we do. Moreover, if we can understand something of how our brains move through the stages of love, we can make better romantic choices and create relationships tha…
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When families enter family therapy, they usually point to one person as the “problem” - this individual is seen as too much, or too angry, or too sensitive. Family systems theory, however, looks at the whole family ecosystem to identify how this “problem” is being created, and whether it is in fact a symptom rather than a cause. This week Andrew ta…
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Anxiety can be as contagious as a yawn. People who are feeling more anxious often try to get others to take some of their anxiety from them, and people who are not feeling as anxious naturally resist taking on someone else’s anxiety. In relationships, it’s often the case that one person takes on the role of the anxious person, whilst the other feel…
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Are you allowing your life to be run by “ghosts” - empty narratives, expired beliefs, tired fears, people who should no longer hold sway over your choices? “When the old stories and beliefs that once defined us have played out and grown exhausted,” writes Dr. James Hollis, “our task is to access our inner compass, the promptings of the psyche that …
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What can Korean culture teach us about being happier and more fulfilled? New York literary agent and author Barbara Zitwer has spent decades figuring this out, culminating in her book, The Korean Book of Happiness. Barbara and Andrew discuss the ancient Korean philosophies of Han, Heung and Jeong (resilience, joy and the art of giving), and Barbara…
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Psychologist and author Renee Mill believes that practical, solutions-focused approaches to anxiety can be as important as deep psychotherapeutic work. Renee’s career has combined both approaches, and today she helps many of her clients manage anxiety with practical tools designed to “rewire” patterns in the brain that may date back to infancy. In …
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“Stop crying now”, “cheer up”, “what a lovely smile” - these are the kinds of messages most of us hear from infancy. Karla McLaren’s work is all about undoing this learning, and valuing ALL of our emotions. Even though the way you work with emotions can have positive or negative outcomes, the emotions themselves are not good or bad. In fact, anger,…
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Filmmaker and Dad Saves America host John Papola is on a mission to celebrate the inspirational force of fatherhood. Rather than dwelling on the discourse around “toxic masculinity”, John’s work celebrates “the heroic role we play as men” by being present and joyfully involved in children’s lives. Rather than being a burden or an obstacle to self-f…
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How can we find the joy, connection, healing and sense of the miraculous that so many of us crave? For poet and spiritual teacher Clark Strand, the answer lies in writing Haiku. The ancient Japanese art of Haiku is the only form of poetry in all of world literature that makes nature into a spiritual path. Its message is simple: Haiku teaches us to …
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If you’re living in survival mode, squashing down feelings of anxiety, depression and panic, then something needs to change. This week Andrew speaks with Dr Friedemann Schaub, a physician, researcher and personal development coach, about our deep-seated emotional baggage, and how to identify the self-sabotaging patterns and limiting beliefs that pr…
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Western medicine cannot cure all of our ills. Many of us experience stubborn aches, pains and fatigue that our doctors don’t seem able to touch, or even explain. Dr Sharon Martin is a highly-trained physician who became frustrated by these limits, and began to explore the capacity of alternative medicine to bring healing and peace. In this episode …
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We’re often told we’re in the midst of a post-Covid “loneliness epidemic”, but what exactly does that mean? Loneliness is a profound condition that goes right to the heart of being human - it’s certainly more than just being alone, and often it isn’t something that can be addressed by just “getting out more” or volunteering at the local hospital. T…
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It can often seem that today's world rewards people who remain psychologically suspended in adolescence. Many people, particularly men, prolong and enjoy their adolescence for decades. Conroy Harris, CEO of the charity A Band of Brothers, discovered through his own life experiences that this wasn’t a healthy way to live. He believes that everyone s…
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You have needs—your needs matter. And yet, you’ve been taught that pushing your needs to the back burner is the only way to get things done, that your needs are an overwhelming burden, or that self-care is a luxury you can’t afford. Author, coach and podcaster Mara Glatzel encourages us to “take a seat at the table in our own life”. In this episode…
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In this episode spiritual teacher Ayala Gill shares three fundamental questions with which to approach difficult situations life throws our way: ⭐️What can I learn from this moment? ⭐️What’s asking to be loved? ⭐️What can I give in return? Andrew and Ayala also discuss the nature of suffering, the difference between suffering and pain, animistic co…
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When fear presents itself, we are deterred from the essential work of holding tough conversations, defending new ideas against the status quo, and standing up against injustice. Author Scott Simon founded the Scare Your Soul courage movement to help people harness their fears and lead more courageous lives. Since he became a “fear chaser”, Simon ha…
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Psychotherapist Tonya Lester believes it’s OK to be difficult. This doesn’t mean being rigid, domineering or unkind. It means making sure that your partner has a sense of who you are and what you need. Of course, you won’t get there without learning how to disagree productively. In this episode Andrew and Tonya discuss how to develop mutually suppo…
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Is it possible to decide to be happier, and then to go out there and make it happen? Hypnotherapist, author and podcaster Richard Nicholls believes that happiness is, at least in part, a skill to be learned. The more you practise, the easier it becomes. Of course, each individual’s notion of happiness and their genetic capacity to achieve it easily…
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If you’re in relationship with a partner who is on the autism spectrum, the following may feel familiar: My partner seems to lack empathy and doesn’t care how I feel My partner misjudges me all the time - I can’t do anything right I can’t seem to find a way to communicate with my partner My partner feels attacked and criticised if I disagree We arg…
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Forgiveness is a powerful spiritual tool that can bring profound relief, and unleash feelings of love blocked for years by personal resentments. In this episode, Andrew discusses forgiveness with author and forgiveness expert Olivier Clerc. They cover: ⭐️4 essential steps to forgiveness ⭐️Obstacles to forgiveness ⭐️The importance of spending time d…
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