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Two gals. In a car. Having a chat. Come along for the ride.
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Wanting It More: The Truth about Low Sex Drive in Women
Janna Denton-Howes: Marriage Coach | Sex Educator | Low Libido Expert
Wanting It More is about empowering women (and the men who love them) to heal from cultural messages so that they can discover true pleasure and connection in their sexual relationship and marriage. Labels like, “low libido” and “low sex drive” simply focus on the wrong thing. Women are NOT low in anything if they struggle to want and enjoy sex. The problem is they aren’t free to discover themselves without the shame and guilt that have been heaped on them by societal expectations and uninte ...
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Dr. Ish Major (Dr. Ish) has spent the last 10 years demystifying the male psyche. Educated at The University of South Carolina School of Medicine, Dr. Ish is a board certified psychiatrist who specializes in women, children and families. As a psychiatrist trained to help people with depression, anxiety and substance issues, he found that most of these problems are originally caused by broken relationships. As a dating expert and single guy, Dr. Ish knows the tell tale signs men show when the ...
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Nancy unfolds her 71-year journey, delving into three significant relationships and the tumultuous experiences within each. Enduring emotional abandonment, financial instability, and a constant sense of being invisible and invalidated, she shares the poignant struggle of feeling like a solitary voice crying out, yet unheard. However, amidst this tu…
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Why are women conditioned to endure pain? Natalie reveals the multitude of reasons she persisted through painful sexual experiences with her husband for 27 years of their marriage. It wasn’t until she discovered Wanting It More that she realized the detrimental extent of what she was subjecting her body and mind to in order to fulfill societal expe…
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David’s wife spent years expressing her dissatisfaction with their sex life, repeatedly sharing her feelings, but David remained skeptical. Despite her efforts, he couldn't accept her perspective. Influenced by adult entertainment and misinformation, he believed he was doing everything right, yet she didn't respond as expected, leading him to concl…
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Overcoming Betrayal Trauma, Addiction, & Lack of Safety in the Bedroom - with Michele | Ep. 89
42:25
Michele bravely opens up about her tumultuous journey through relationships as a woman in her late 50s. She recounts the harrowing experiences of enduring compulsive lying, cheating, porn and sex addiction, abuse, and a pervasive lack of consent. Amidst the darkness, she discovered a beacon of hope in Janna, whose guidance led Michele on a transfor…
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We delve into Raina's journey of rediscovering her desire for sex within her marriage. Despite a healthy upbringing with decent sexual education, positive body image, and safe and secure sexual experiences, Raina found herself losing interest in intimacy with her husband after getting married. After starting a personal journey which she affectionat…
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When Lisa took the Wanting It More program a couple of years ago, she never imagined the valuable lessons she learned to improve her low libido would also come in handy when confronting a medical issue. Lisa talks in detail about her struggles with body image anxiety and gynecological exams that accompanied her journey to the diagnosis of Lichen Sc…
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Kyle’s career in law enforcement defined him as a safe person, dedicating his life to keeping his community and those who live in it safe from harm. Imagine his surprise when he learned the root cause behind his dwindling sex life was because his wife felt unsafe around him. It took him several weeks of coaching with Janna to really understand the …
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We delve into Laura's journey as a 40-year-old mother of three, navigating the intersection of her strong Christian faith and her sexuality. Growing up with little education about sex, Laura found herself prioritizing her partner's desires in the bedroom while neglecting her own. Struggling to balance her intuition with the teachings of her faith c…
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In this podcast episode we meet Nate, a devout Christian and father whose misconceptions about intimacy led to strain in his marriage of 15 years. Raised on media for his sexual education, Nate found himself bewildered by the disparity between his expectations and reality in the bedroom. It wasn't until he and his wife took the Wanting It More prog…
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Thilla shares her journey as a first-generation Canadian, shaped by her Sri Lankan heritage and North American upbringing. Raised in a family where discussions about sex were taboo and dating was reserved for an arranged marriage, she faced immense pressure and conflicting messages from both cultures. These challenges left her grappling with feelin…
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How to Heal from Pornography Addiction - with Justin | Ep. 82
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Join Janna in this conversation filled with healing and hope as we delve into a topic often brushed aside: pornography addiction. She sits down with Justin, who bravely shares his 25-year struggle with excessive porn use and the profound impact it had on his relationships and self-esteem. Despite being told it's 'normal,' Justin's story sheds light…
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In response to countless requests, we're diving into a topic close to many hearts: how to talk to kids about sex. Meet Christina, a recent graduate of the Wanting It More program, who felt compelled to provide her children with the sexual education she never received. Her journey is all about empowering her kids to navigate their body and intimacy …
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James had no reason to believe the ways he showed his wife affection, both sexual and non, was at all off-base. Afterall, he’d faithfully followed the rulebook he’d been taught in locker rooms and adult magazines throughout his 70 years and had success. He loved to look at and touch his wife to express his love and desire and happily assumed that h…
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Is Wanting It More the Right Program to Help My Low Libido? | Ep. 79
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Join Janna and her special guest, Melissa, the WIM Community Coordinator, in this heart-to-heart conversation about the transformative Wanting It More program. Discover who this incredible program is tailor-made for, as they share their personal journeys of dealing with low libido in marriage. Explore the diverse issues the program can address, and…
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William had it in his head that he wasn’t the problem when it came to his wife’s low sexual desire. Afterall, he was doing everything he had been taught to do to satisfy his wife…the only problem was his teachers were other men, our toxic culture, and pornography. William talks to Janna in detail about his experiences growing up as a person of colo…
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Renee opens up to Janna about her six-year marriage to her white husband, exploring the intricacies of their age and ethnicity differences that created a soupy mix of misunderstandings around sexual desire, and her feelings of low libido. Renee, a biracial woman, brings a compassionate and curious lens to her experiences and exploration of black cu…
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From the early stages of her life, Rowen discovered immense fulfillment in the roles of people-pleasing and caretaking for those around her. However, she later realized that the price she paid for these roles was steep—it left her clueless about her own wants and needs. As this pattern extended into her intimate relationship with her husband, her i…
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Kate and Janna unravel the complex dynamics of Kate’s 19-year marriage marked by a common tradition – the recurrent gift of lingerie. Although intended as a sweet gesture, these presents took a toll on Kate, leaving her feeling embarrassed and awkward, along with dwindling her libido and decreasing her desire for sex. As the duo discusses the cultu…
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How to Recover Intimacy in Marriage After Betrayal and Porn Addiction - with Sandra | Ep. 74
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Throughout their 17 year union, the presence of pornography cast a shadow over Sandra and her husband’s relationship, steadily eroding its foundation. Initially, Sandra dismissed it, swayed by the notion that incorporating porn could add a spark to their connection. However, as time unfolded, she witnessed alarming shifts in her husband's behavior—…
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From Confusion to Connection: Empowering Men to Transform Bedroom Dynamics - with Lee | Ep. 73
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When Lee initially encountered Janna's messages about sex on her podcast, he felt victimized. It seemed to him as though blame for bad sex in marriage was being cast solely on men, leading him to internalize it as his personal responsibility. However, with time, he gradually grasped the profound message she aimed to convey – that the distorted noti…
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Elle believed she was grappling with low libido as she reached the age of 50, having been married for 25 years with three children in college. Intimacy in her relationship had become a burdensome task, postponed for weeks at a time until guilt finally compelled her to engage. She considered this ebb in desire as a typical aspect of this stage in li…
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Janna dives into a question she receives often from women looking into her Wanting It More program: "Will this work for me if I don't feel anything during sex?" A powerful misconception exists in our culture that something is wrong with a woman if she doesn't experience intense sensations during intercourse. Many of these women are labeled with “lo…
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Everyone talks about getting more rest, but what does it truly mean to rest? Is it just about lying still and doing nothing? Join Janna and her good friend, Dr. Laura Froyen, as they dive into the world of rest in this delightful conversation. They explore various types of rest – physical, emotional, mental, social, spiritual, sensory, and creative…
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Ellen bravely opens up about her journey with Vaginismus, a condition she discovered on her wedding night when she and her husband tried to have intercourse for the first time. A moment that should have been filled with joy and excitement left Ellen feeling gutted and cheated, particularly because she and her husband had eagerly waited until marria…
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Janna talks to the author of one of her most recommended books, "Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy." In this captivating conversation with Dr. Tina Schermer Seller, a licensed therapist specializing in sex and gender issues, they discuss her research of the Christian Conservative church and the rise of abstine…
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The dream of having a family can quickly darken in the face of fertility issues. Sex suddenly becomes a highly monitored business, filled with immense pressure and crushing timelines. 33 year-old Bridget endured three tumultuous years of IVF treatments, invasive medical procedures, severe sickness, and the trauma of pregnancy losses, all while livi…
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When asked, "What do you like to do for pleasure?", Crissie’s response was, "That's a hard question for me.” Many women will relate to Crissie’s do-everything-for-everyone-except-myself mentality. This 40-year-old mother of four spent years consumed with providing for the needs of her young family. Figuring out her own needs, wants and enjoyments w…
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If you've ever dealt with painful or uncomfortable sex, this episode is a must listen. For years, Anna tolerated the trauma of painful intercourse. She describes the pain as feeling like rug burn for hours afterward. She was eventually diagnosed with vaginismus. Although she found pelvic floor therapy helpful, she didn't feel understood by her ther…
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Learning to Trust Your Body & the Sexual Experience Again After Miscarriage - with Alyssa | Ep. 63
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Alyssa is a 31-year-old high school educator who’s been married to her high school sweetheart for 9 years. When she became sexually active in high school, she was terrified of pregnancy. Even though she was using birth control, she was so anxious for weeks afterward that it was hard to function. Once she was married and decided to start a family, A…
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Real Couples Share Their Wanting It More Progress Toward a More Fulfilling Sex Life | Ep. 62
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On the final day of our latest Wanting It More round, I gathered all the wonderful husbands and wives together for a warm farewell Zoom call. During this heartwarming session, I posed the question, "What's been your most significant takeaway from this journey?" Their honest responses moved me to tears. At just eight weeks into their Wanting It More…
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I'm answering the most frequent questions I get about my online program, Wanting It More, which is now open for registration for the Oct./Nov. round. I think it’s THE best online program out there for helping women with low libido want and enjoy sex more, while also supporting their husbands so they can create a nourishing, fun, connecting sex life…
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How This Husband Turned Self-Loathing And Guilt Around Sex Into A Nirvana-Like Experience - With Stuart | Ep. 60
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Everything Stuart learned about sex was from what he saw in media. Therefore, he understood sex to be a passionate, dramatic, climatic, sweaty event that occurs frequently and is mind blowing every time. Not surprisingly, this is not the type of sex life that Stuart had in his 12 year marriage. In this extremely honest conversation with Janna, Stua…
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How To Take Responsibility for Your Own Sexual Pleasure - with Helen | Ep. 59
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Helen’s biggest realization during Wanting It More was owning the fact that she wasn’t taking responsibility for her own pleasure. Her lack of enjoyment in the sexual experience wasn’t all about her husband and what he was or wasn’t doing for her. She was allowing things to happen in the bedroom that she didn’t enjoy that created feelings of boredo…
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Jenn grew up in a conservative Christian household and received her sex education from church events and camps (based on purity culture with the message that sex before marriage is a HUGE sin) and her high school sex ed class (which left her terrified of pregnancy and STDs). Not surprisingly, this education left her with a lot of shame around sex a…
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There's a big promise out there that we often hear in our culture...if you wait until marriage to have sex it will be the most united and amazing experience of your life! Yet, for many couples, the opposite tends to be true. Sex can feel awkward, weird, and unsatisfying. The lesson from youth that sex is bad is hard to suddenly shake once "I do" is…
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Do you have a hard time saying no to your husband's sexual advances for fear of hurting his feelings? So many women I teach say they feel internal pressure and duty to give in and get it over with when it comes to sex with their husband. No wonder so many women aren’t enjoying the sexual experience! Here’s what took me a long time to figure out: sa…
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Struggling to find the importance of sex in marriage after 60? I’m talking to Diane, a teacher and musician in her sixties with three grown children. Despite being an educator, Diane admits to knowing nothing about sexual relationships in her youth and “assuming the guys knew what they were doing.” In this incredibly tender and inspiring episode, w…
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Today we’re talking about foreplay and why I don’t think more foreplay, typically prescribed to women with low libido, is the answer to enjoying sex more. I believe it does more harm to women than good. Curious to know why? Listen in as I discuss three reasons why the goal to increase sexual arousal through foreplay is problematic. I also offer tip…
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This episode is for the men listening out there! I often get emails from husbands asking me for advice on what they can do to help their wife enjoy sex more. Maybe they’ve listened to my podcast or read my website, so these men already understand it’s not about labelling her with “low libido” or getting her to fix herself. They understand there is …
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Have you heard the advice to "spice things up" to keep your sex life alive? Get kinky, say dirty words, try new positions, watch porn. I tried all of these things and more in my marriage to increase my low sex drive but I was left feeling empty, unsatisfied and unaligned with myself. I believe the key to more connected intimacy is becoming more of …
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What Men Struggle to Understand About Low Libido in Women (and what to do to improve their sexual experiences) | Ep. 50
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For the first time, I'm offering support to husbands in my Wanting It More program, and I'm learning a lot about why men find it hard to understand (and even believe) their wife's low desire for sex compared to their own. This is especially true when women haven't been honest about what they enjoy (and especially about what they don't enjoy) in the…
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A Step-By-Step Example of What a Real Married Sexual Experience Looks Like (it's not how it looks in the movies!) | Ep. 49
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The examples we're shown of sex in movies and tv are ridiculous! I'm here to tell you that's not what real sex looks or sounds like (these are actors acting after all). Are you curious to know what connected sex actually looks like? In my Wanting It More program, I get vulnerable and share my own sexual experience with my program participants to he…
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How To Enjoy Better Sex (and understand low sex drive in women) - with Dr. Laura Froyen | Ep. 48
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We're missing out on true joy and connection with our partners and ourselves when we focus on the formulaic goals of sex. It's not all about orgasm! It's about getting curious to create and follow your own rules for your sexual wellness. Laura and I chat about some of my best tips for creating a non-goal-oriented and mindful sexual connection. Join…
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How To Let Go of Outdated Messages About Sex in Marriage (and what to replace them with for a happy sex life) - with Charles | Ep. 47
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I challenge a lot of what society teaches men and women about sex, and sometimes husbands have a hard time with my content. I've been bullied, threatened, and personally attacked online by men who are struggling to see their important role in helping their wives feel more comfortable in the bedroom. That's why I was pleasantly surprised when Charle…
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How to Trust Your Partner Again After Cheating and Porn Addiction (with betrayal trauma expert Michelle Mays) | Ep. 46
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Partner betrayal is SO complex compared to other forms of trauma. The lying, manipulation, scapegoating and gaslighting create a cycle of shame of wanting to simultaneously connect and disconnect from a cheating partner. My husband of 14 years admitted to a porn addiction that I was unaware of (after years in therapy/coaching trying to fix my "low …
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My podcast guest this week, Joy, shared that when she first started her relationship (at 17!), she was expecting they would be that disgustingly in-love couple with constant PDA, but that's not what happened. In fact, despite having a supportive, loving, and fun relationship, she quickly found that her fear of getting pregnant turned into the disco…
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How This Husband Supported His Wife to Rewrite Their Sex Life - with Thia's husband, Eugene | Ep. 44
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As a husband, are you confused about why non-sexual intimacy (like playful touch and general affection) and physical intimacy have dwindled in your marriage? In this follow-up to Episode 43, I get to chat with Thia's husband, Eugene, about the pressure and personal responsibility he felt to fix their sex life and the many changes he tried that didn…
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Can A Dwindling Sex Life Be Revitalized? How Thia Overcame Sexual Shame And Discovered Orgasm After 40 | Ep. 43
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Thia and Eugene are a couple from South Africa who are currently living in the UK with three children. After waiting to have sex until their wedding night and having some positive experiences early on, their intimate life started to dwindle. Thia wasn't sure if she was even able to have an orgasm (it can be hard to tell!) and Eugene was running out…
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Is 'Just Do It' The Only Answer To Low Libido? Unravelling The Truth Behind Women's Sexual Desire- with Amber | Ep. 42
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Amber spent years searching for help for her low sexual desire with no answers. She spoke to her university counsellor, her mom, read books and sought help from her church. In a moment of desperation she reached out to her physician and was given this response: "Look, it's just one of those things. You simply have to do it. It'll make him a better …
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What Does Safety In The Sexual Experience Actually Mean? A Man's Transformative Experience Unveils The Answer - with Erin’s husband, Rob | Ep. 41
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In this follow-up conversation to Episode 40, I talk with Erin's husband Rob about his ‘old ways’ of thinking about sex and how his views have drastically transformed since taking Wanting It More. Learning about my concepts of safety in the bedroom originally floored him, but incorporating these vital ideas has ultimately made all the difference in…
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