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The world's #1 podcast on sex addiction & porn addiction. As seen on LifeTime TV, A&E, Steve Harvey & Katie Couric - dedicated to healthy sexuality and great living by former sex addict, porn addict, drug addict executive/attorney, founder of The Mindful Habit® System Coach Craig Perra. Raw stories about his slow descent into the depths of sex addiction hell, coupled with a science-based, evolved approach to healing from sex and porn addiction will change your life and set you free from the ...
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Helping you better understand Sex, Porn & Love Addiction; guiding you through the neuroscience of the brain and sharing what we now better understand about the brain's involvement, from childhood development. To help you effect change; find the real authentic you (whose truth self went off at a tangent in childhood); so that as you discover and become re-acquainted with the real you, having learnt to like yourself, you are equipped to be the best that you can be.Maximise the living of an inc ...
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Negative Core Beliefs are often hidden from view. Often disguised; but masquerade as truths. They live in the unconscious. Not easily touchable. They work away in the hidden place doing their worst. They are uninvited guests. They have over stayed their invita…
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Congratulations to Patrick on 4 years in recovery! I'm so proud of you.In this episode, Kylene briefly shares what it feels like to be hitting the 4 year mark of recovery together, and why the intense and purposeful effort they made has truly been worth it. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support…
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Did you know that quitting porn can make your life significantly worse? You need to know why!!! In this eye-opening episode, Craig Perra, world-renowned coach and creator of The Mindful Habit System, explains the hidden dangers of quitting porn and why simply stopping isn’t the solution. Drawing on years of experience helping men overcome porn addi…
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Divorce feels similar to being widowed. You've lost your partner, you've lost the life and the future you thought you had, and you experience a significant amount of grief. Divorce after betrayal can feel isolating and overwhelming. This is why Kim Hansen Petroni has written her workbook: "Not a Casserole Widow" to provide education and cultivate s…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Create new thinking to change the behaviour. How? A step at a time, to re-wire the brain. Create new Neural Pathways progressively over time. What is this thing called Neural Pathways? The hamster wheel patterns of behaviours. Those habits. The programming so …
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Life can be stressful on its own, but navigating recovery after addiction and betrayal adds layers of tension, overwhelming emotions, and uncertainty. In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick explore how the fruits of the Spirit can serve as a powerful self-reflection tool to guide growth and healing in your recovery journey. By focusing on cultivati…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre A poem by Portia Nelson, published in her book There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery Verse I I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. I am lost ... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find…
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Is there a difference between sobriety and recovery? Is recovery just a longer version of sobriety? In this episode of RecoverU Kylene and Patrick share their perspective on the differences between sobriety and recovery and the type of actions and behaviors it takes to move into a life of recovery, and ultimately freedom, after a life of sex or por…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Triggers are a clue to our dissociated Traumas - So says Carolyn Spring in Part 2 of her article on Managing Triggers: https://www.carolynspring.com/blog/we-have-two-choices-when-triggered/ The past events that we want to avoid thinking about or confronting, m…
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Sex and Porn Addiction: Brain Rotting Effects and Recovery Tips - 8 min. long In this eye-opening video, Craig Perra dives deep into the effects of sex and porn addiction on the brain. Discover groundbreaking research on how technology can lead to brain rot and what you can do to fight back. Learn practical tips for overcoming addiction and reclaim…
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Feeling stuck and not sure how to move forward? In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss choosing who you want to be so you don’t stay stuck in 2025. They provide five practical tips and actionable resources to help you align with your values and vision for the future. Their approach emphasizes digging deeper than surface-level goals, empower…
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Welcome to my New Year's 2025 podcast! In this episode, we discuss the three levels of change necessary for overcoming sex and porn addiction. Learn actionable steps to achieve long-term success and hear my best advice on transforming habits from my 13 years of experience with the Mindful Habit System. Don't miss out on this insightful journey to b…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Triggers don't play fair. They are often unpredictable (like a music track which comes on) and moves you from chilled to a fight to maintain sobriety. So underhand. Not a nice play partner. Carolyn Spring talks about the aftermaths of Triggers, from the sense …
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre The cave man/cave woman response of Fight/Flight/Freeze, is alive and well. Don't beat your brain up too badly. It is just doing what it was designed to do to protect you. The options it chooses or gravitates to, are at times, rather dubious and for Sex Addict…
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This is entirely a nonhuman conversation generated by Notebook.LM AI. I don't plan on doing this often but I (Craig Perra) was blown away by the summary interview created based upon a video that I created a year ago. WOW. AI is coming fast. Join us on a deep-dive exploration into the compelling work of Craig Perra and his critique of the traditiona…
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Navigating Depression and Anxiety During the Holidays | Mindful Habit Podcast Join Craig Perra, founder of the Mindful Habit System, as he discusses the challenging emotions that arise during the holiday season, including depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. In this deeply personal episode, Craig shares his own struggles and recent losses an…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Let me not re-invent the wheel in this episode. There are some really clever people who say it better than me (even if rather brain hurtingly academical)! Read this Article: The impact of the digital revolution on human brain and behavior: where do we stand? L…
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Do you feel discouraged in your recovery journey? We encourage you to take some time to reflect on the past year. Often, when we feel stuck or frustrated, if we compare where we are today to where we were 6 months ago, or a year ago, we have a better perspective of how far we've truly come! the end of the year offers us a natural point to review wh…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre There is a correlation between Sex Addiction and ADHD. When faced with 'danger' on a daily basis (even whilst in the womb!), healthy brain development is derailed and impeded. The area in the brain called the Amygdala (the smoke alarm for danger), increase in …
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Do you and your partner feel LESS connected when things get busy? Do you notice that you have less time for each other and fewer conversations? Communication is a top priority during recovery and we want to encourage you to prioritize it MORE when you're busy, tired or stressed instead of less. When we get busy and communicate less, it becomes a br…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre I like this article by Luke Gilkerson (as long ago as 2012), when he interviewed a Neuroscientist called Dr William Struthers - author of the book "How pornograpghy Hijacks the male brain" Dr Struthers explains what hormones and neurotransmitters are involved …
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Are you a people pleaser? Saying NO is hard, and we can feel extra pressure around the holidays. In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick offer 3, succinct and specific ways to politely decline invitations if you need some extra down time for recovery. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, pleas…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Remember, you cannot change what you cannot see and don't understand. Even when you can better see the problem and understand it, does not mean that you can change it - quickly. Insecure Attachment behaviours is one such pattern, which needs to be understood -…
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Discovery is one of the most stressful experiences for both the sex/porn addict and the betrayed partner. Stress takes a significant toll on the body in this episode Kylene breaks down how stress impacts the body and 3 specific pillars of support we can bring in to support our mental and physical health through recovery. Kylene has some links below…
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Founder of The Mindful Habit System, Craig Perra dives deep into the world of triggers and how they play a crucial role in overcoming sex and porn addiction. He offers a fresh perspective on viewing triggers not as enemies but as teachers. Craig defines what triggers are, explains their role in the habit cycle, and shares four essential points abou…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Love Addiction is often a response to Insecure Attachment. It looks like it is about sex and chasing sexual outlets, but it isn't really about sex - as the core desire. It is an attempt to gain a sense of 'being wanted', 'being a part of...','accepted', 'owned…
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Are you a betrayed partner who has asked the question - how could my husband engage in such hurtful behaviors and still love me? If so, you're not alone! In this episode Kylene and Patrick talk about how this questions is really a form of communicating the pain that has been caused, the feelings of insecurity, the fear of comparison, and the reiter…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre The Insecure 'ATTACHMENT' label does not describe accurately, what is really in the can with this label on it! It is exactly the opposite. It typically is set up in the early childhood development years. Often, they are experiences which you can't readily or e…
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Are you stuck in an anxiety loop after betrayal? If so, you are NOT alone. Anxiety is one of the primary emotions that surface after discovering your husband is a sex or porn addict. Not sure if you feel anxious? In this episode Kylene and Patrick break down some signs and symptoms of anxiety, why safety is important, and how we can support our hea…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre There are three ways in which we try to get our Core Emotional Needs met. Meeting Core emotional needs is not negotiable. They want to be met and kept filled up at high levels. The reality, however, is that life takes a toll upon us and Core Emotional Needs de…
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My husband CHEATED - so it's ok to be angry right? I'm so ANGRY and I just can't get over it. I will never get over it. I'm not allowed to be angry - it's a sin. Anger is a natural emotion and an important feeling to be respected and acknowledged. However, when left unchecked it can turn into bitterness and it can begin to take control of your life…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Narcissism and Empathy (like same poles of a magnet) cannot co-exist together in the same space. They repel each other. Likewise, they cannot co-exist in the same person at equally high levels. Either they will have a high level of Narcissistic traits and a lo…
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I can do this on my own! They hurt me, therefore I can hurt them. Porn isn't infidelity! In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick address these 3 lies. Both recovering addicts and betrayed partners can get caught up in these beliefs and it can dramatically impact long term healing. Let's shift these beliefs together to find deep, long lasting freedom…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Don't go looking up the term on Google and it spewing out a whole heap of stuff that blinds you and gets your back up! I am not suggesting Sex/Porn/Love Addicts are a Narcissists - Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) - is one of the most difficult mental H…
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Are you a recovering sex/porn addict who is frustrated that your spouse still has questions about your previous behavior? Or maybe you are a betrayed spouse who has brought up a trigger only to be replied to with "when will you get over this? Why is this still coming up for you?" All couples navigating recovery long for the day when they will never…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre SHAME + NARCISSISM = SEX ADDICTION. Too simplistic? Maybe, but it is a good place to start, if you want to better understand the reason for the activities - as an outlet for Shame & Narcissism. Try hard to come out from under the umbrella of covering that Sham…
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How can I connect more deeply with my partner - especially after betrayal? Communication is the foundation for life long intimacy and growth with your partner. AND it happens to be one of the top struggles most couples have. In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick suggest 4 questions to discuss with your partner to open conversation and to connect m…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Shame is set up in childhood. Life is unfair. Yep. The presence of shame is a particularly powerful driver for sexual addiction. Shame means “to hide” and is a hidden companion of Narcissism. SHAME + NARCISSISM = SEX ADDICTION Shame is the painful feeling of b…
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INTIMACY? or sex? Are they the same? How can you reconnect intimately with your partner if they have hurt you in the past? For many partners, true intimacy (into -me-you-see) is first established through the recovery journey as they learn new skills for communication, trust, empathy and connection together. Intimacy requires safety and sex addictio…
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To Learn More About The Mindful Habit and Craig: www.mindfulhabithelp.com In this video, Craig Perra discusses CSATs (Certified Sex Addiction Therapists) and the treatment of sex addiction. He explores the role of CSATs, founded by Dr. Patrick Carnes, who use a trauma-informed, 12-step model focusing on lifelong sobriety. Despite the benefits some …
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Scapegoating can go on for only so long. Then a need to accept responsibility for adult choices. The Kairos Centre do an extensive History Taking to build a profile understanding of the adult, impacted by childhood development issues. The feedback hypothesis c…
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What is empathy? At its core, it's the ability to understand someone else's experience and perspective. When a couple chooses to stay together, empathy is a critical skill for both individuals to learn. YES it's learnable! We must practice things that don't come naturally before they become second nature. In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick disc…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre He “caused” our problems and yet once again the focus and everyone’s attention is on him. The family income is being used by him again for his benefit, on top of the spend he has already enjoyed on his addiction. It’s just not fair. I am left here with his stu…
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Betrayal HURTS and it feels overwhelming. Today, Kylene answers some of the most common questions a betrayed partner may have after discovering that her husband is a sex or porn addict. Questions like: Is it possible to heal and if so, HOW? What does the process of reconciliation look like? How long does recovery take? Can I speed it up? What do I …
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre If you are in a partnered relationship, re-build integrity with yourself by signing a 'Couples Recovery Plan'. Recovery - in a partnered relationship - is about the partnership, not only about your recovery at all. Your signature on the 'Couples Recovery Plan'…
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Forgiveness after betrayal? What keeps us stuck from moving forward with forgiveness? In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick define forgiveness, discuss different types of forgiveness, and what might keep us stuck from moving forward with forgiveness. Is it always appropriate to forgive? Or is there a right time? Do I always have to tell the person…
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Are you struggling with sex addiction and searching for a way to stop? I'm Craig Perra, and in this video, I share everything I've learned over the past decade leading one of the world's top sex addiction treatment programs—and healing from my own decades-long battle with compulsive sexual behavior, lying, and shame. I was once an out-of-control ex…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre The ability to quickly recognize fearful situations and other emotional signals, may be critical to survival, as it enables us to detect potential threats. The amygdala is believed to play a central role in these processes. The amygdala is a small, almond-shap…
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Is it possible for GOOD to come from all the pain of sex addiction and betrayal trauma? Nick and Michelle Stumbo are examples of how good CAN come from the pain we have experienced. A former pastor and now head of Pure Desire ministries, Nick shares his personal story of transformation along with his wife Michelle who talks about what it was like b…
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Send us a text - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre They are called the 4 Elements tools - which I teach my EMDR ("trauma") clients. These self-soothing - much more healthy and positive impacting (but still are hamster wheel/repetitive/habit/neural pathway activities) - become the new "go-to" practices. In othe…
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