Save The Marriage відкриті
[search 0]
більше

Download the App!

show episodes
 
The Save Your Marriage by Restoring the Man podcast is a show that helps men restore their marriages by restoring themselves. Simply put, men are underserved when it comes to the need for marital guidance, especially when facing separation, divorce and/or affairs. The pressure, expectations, and ‘noise’ that is around us at all times often takes priority over our marriage and we soon find ourselves lost with the threat of divorce looming over our heads. This podcast is men with troubled marr ...
 
Loading …
show series
 
We all have limiting beliefs. You... me... and your spouse! I always work to change my limiting beliefs. You are probably doing the same. But you can't just change your spouse's limiting beliefs!What is a limiting belief? It is a mostly-FALSE belief. But more than that, it is one that keeps you stuck... unable to see bigger possibilities. Potential…
 
No matter how determined you may be to change your life or marriage, it only takes hesitation and a lack of ownership to halt any progress. In the end, YOU are your biggest hindrance to your growth. In this new episode, Arturo lays out the BIG difference between men who live in the past versus work toward the future, how to see your future as an in…
 
I have watched from the sidelines as people work to save their marriage. And it strikes me that there are three secrets people who save their marriage learn and master. If you don’t know these secrets, you need to.What are those 3 secrets?1. They know the difference between Symptoms and Cause.2. They know their spouse is not the enemy. (You may thi…
 
Let’s turn to dealing with your spouse’s resentments. Resentment comes from anger, unresolved. Anger comes from hurt, unresolved and unaddressed. Which leads us back to helping your spouse find healing — tracking back to anger, but really back to hurt. If you want to reconnect, start with dealing with resentments. Otherwise, the hurt/anger/resentme…
 
The conversation starts innocently enough. Someone wants help saving a marriage. They tell me about the disconnection haunting the relationship. They tell me about the hurts and struggles. They tell me they are desperate to turn things around.And then they say it. “How do I get my spouse to. . .” “How do I make my spouse to. . . ” “How do I cause m…
 
Roles. We all have them. We all play them.Some are "identity roles." They identify us in the role. For example, I am "son," "father," "brother," "husband."Some are "function roles." They identify what we do. For example, I am "coach," "therapist," "author," "speaker," and "podcaster" (among others). They tell you what I do, what role I play in life…
 
Do you find yourself fighting and fighting, but never making progress? Maybe you even look back and make the painful discovery: you are just repeating the same argument. If so, you aren’t using conflict to get anywhere. You are just trying to win. Conflict is better used when it moves you toward progress. It can serve to solve. Or it can serve to w…
 
Lots of people have asked me how long it takes for a marriage crisis to turn around... for the marriage to start heading in the RIGHT direction. Does it take days? Weeks?? Years???I often tell them that marriages in crisis can often turn around amazingly fast.That doesn't mean YOUR marriage will. But it often does happen.Why is it that a marriage c…
 
Nothing gets your focus and attention like a crisis. But sometimes, that Crisis Clarity isn't so helpful.Let's backtrack just a minute. What is Crisis Clarity?Just for a moment, let's assume that you have had a sense that something was not right with your marriage. Maybe you asked about it. Or perhaps you just hoped for the best -- that things woul…
 
To live is to constantly grow and improve, but if you’re blaming anyone else but yourself, you’re not growing. Looking at yourself honestly and taking accountability can be incredibly painful, but it IS necessary in your growth as a man. Most of us have wounds, but touting them as trophies isn’t how they heal; they heal when you go to surgery. In t…
 
When the temptation to “fix” a situation fires up in you, STOP. Most men are hard-wired to react to problems with a solution, but that “solution” is doomed from the start. In this new episode, we talk about difference between “fixers” and true leaders, highlighting why knowing your problems is much more important than “fixing” them. We cover why fi…
 
On a regular basis, people want to tell me about the problem with their marriage. Then, they tell me about the current crisis: "my spouse doesn't love me/is having an affair/won't talk to me/wants to separate/wants to divorce/etc./etc."They want to solve the crisis. And they think THAT is the problem!They would be wrong.What they are describing is …
 
Like the vast majority of men that are going through a separation or divorce, you feel like your wife has all the power over you and you no longer have any semblance of control in the situation. It feels sudden – everything was going great, and then your wife seems to no longer love you, no longer trust you, or maybe she even “hates” you. At this p…
 
You need to understand how your marriage got into trouble, how your relationship got disconnected, and how your marriage slid into crisis. Since we don’t get much help in understanding what marriage is about (much less, how to be married), it shouldn’t be a surprise that marriages DO get into trouble. The question is, when you find you are in a cri…
 
You may be wondering, “Does it even matter? Should I just let this marriage go? WHY does it matter?” Let’s start with this: It matters! A lot! Why does it matter? Well, the real reason why can vary from person-to-person. It is all about finding YOUR “why”, your big reason for working on it. Here is an important hint: the BIG Why is not about fear. …
 
During a marriage crisis most people almost always focus on the wrong things. And in the process, they are not focusing on the right things. Where we focus is what gets our attention. Focus on the wrong things, and the wrong things get our attention… our energy… and our investment. There are three places people often focus their attention that are …
 
Your marriage is in trouble. You know you want to save your relationship, but you aren’t sure how. They followed, on purpose or by accident, “rules” of surviving. Those rules can help you, too. Your first task is to survive. That gives you time to take more action. Those actions are designed to rescue your relationship. In fact, that is one rule I …
 
Every now and then (well, actually quite frequently), people tell me stories about how parenting didn’t exactly elicit the best response. Many times, people tell me with regret over words and actions they wish they had not expressed. Sure, there is some shame, maybe some blame.But there is often very little change.On this episode of the Save The Ma…
 
Working to save a marriage can be tiring when the world is rightside-up. Much less when everything feels upside down! Many people feel pulled in so many questions… but when something is important… as important as marriage… why does it get shifted down? Relegated to the “left over energy,” if there is any? There are some underlying reasons why it ma…
 
Maybe your spouse has been saying, “This is ALL YOUR FAULT!” Or maybe it is just you… wondering… torturing yourself… about whether this marriage crisis is your fault. Are you the problem? So, what is the truth? Are you the problem? Did you cause the problem? Does that even help the problem? Many times, people like to look at one single point-in-tim…
 
What do you do when you feel like giving up, like nothing you do is making a difference? Or when your spouse says you are trying too hard, or acting strange? Or when you have dragged your spouse to retreats, therapy, workshops… and at every turn, your spouse throws up a wall? What do you do to push through? I answer listener questions about how to …
 
Many of my podcast episodes are really aimed at those in the midst of some marriage crisis. Maybe it is hanging on by a thread. Perhaps it is just in the beginning stages.Today, I want to share some information that applies to every single marriage -- happy or hurting, starting or staying, even barely hanging on. If you are at the beginning of a ma…
 
It’s pretty common to go looking for the “bad guy” in any situation. And even if both of you are in pain and frustrated, you may be wanting to stay. While you may be able to point to things your spouse needs to change, you can probably see that approach is unlikely to get you very far. Here is the problem: Change is hard, and rarely straightforward…
 
There are ways you can approach your marriage and your life, making an instant shift, that could create incredible change. IF you were to do all 3 things I suggest in my audio, I guarantee your life will radically change for the better — and so will your marriage! These shifts are simple and direct. And they mostly require you to make an internal s…
 
Many couples make the mistake of assuming that their problems are due to poor communication. That is not (or rarely) the case. Why do couples think this? Because many therapists use that as the default problem to attack in therapy.But communication is merely the method of passing information. Helpful in connecting with a spouse, for sure. It's just…
 
Expectations. We all have them. Some, we agree upon. Some, we don't even know we have (or that our spouse has them). But they can play havoc on a relationship. If you find yourself frustrated with your spouse over what he or she is not doing -- or if your spouse is frustrated with YOU over what you are not doing (and perhaps didn't know to do), you…
 
We all "show ourselves" in our interactions with others. Sometimes, we truly Show Up, bringing our best self to the relationship.Other times, we bring an angry/resentful presence to the table. Other times, it might be a cold/distant presence. And still other times, it might be a needy/desperate presence.As you may have guessed, an angry or distant …
 
In this episode we talk about four ways that you can practically recharge your internal resources to address your relationship in a way that gives you a better perspective and gives you additional tools that you can implement even if your relationship is traversing a heavy emotional storm.
 
I wish I had a crystal ball that would let me successfully determine which marriages could be saved. Yes, it is true. Not every marriage WILL be saved. I can't guarantee that.But I DO think there is a "reverse" guarantee. If your marriage is in trouble and you do nothing, I can pretty much guarantee that your marriage will NOT survive. But guarante…
 
A lot of times, we find ourselves stuck, either stuck in trying to figure out how to reach out and connect with our wife or stuck in figuring out how to change ourselves. This is a matter of mindset. There are four simple little things that you can do to make it shift. To shift your mindset to a more of a growth mindset around yourself and around y…
 
Have you noticed that and have you noticed how many good sincere loving people end up having not so great marriages. In this episode we talk about 8 reasons why this happens and also provide insights and perspectives so that bad marriages can be avoided.
 
I'll bet you know exactly what I mean by the Gut Punch Moment. It is when your spouse says, "I don't love you" or that variation, "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you." Or when you discover the affair or other marital infidelity (including financial). Or when you discover some other hidden part of your spouse's life that makes you question eve…
 
You’ve been doing your best to work on your marriage… to resolve your marriage crisis. Then, you find yourself exhausted. You can’t find your focus. You wonder if you even care. The negativity creeps in, followed by hopelessness.Sound familiar?That would be Crisis Fatigue. It is what happens when a crisis isn’t resolved quickly. When the crisis cov…
 
Boundaries can be described as how emotionally close you let people get to you. They are also where you draw the line within a relationship. They say how much you are willing to give or take before requiring that things change. Boundaries are one of the measures of relationship health. As such, they can contribute to your relationships with your pa…
 
For lots of people, this past Monday could not pass fast enough. I heard from a number of people with struggling marriages that told me Valentine’s Day was just one more hurdle. Not a celebration of love, but a moment of further resentment and pain.Does romance just die with “I do”? Some people seem to think so. For others, the waning romantic feel…
 
There comes a time in lots of struggles in marriage where a spouse will say, “I don't love you, I will never love you again, I've never loved you, there's no way this marriage can recover, there's no way this will work out, we are finished” or some variation of this. There is a 7 parts strategy on how to deal with any of these and recover your wife…
 
I remember saying to a couple on my couch, both claiming they were doing more and working harder for their relationship, “It’s not a competition!"They didn’t much seem to believe me. They were simultaneously trying to win while proving they were losing. Yep, they were trying to win at a game of “who does more and gets less.” I am not sure what the …
 
In an effort to Save our Marriage and have our wife fall in love with us again, we often make mistakes that cause the opposite affect and usually do more damage than good, mistakes that could have been avoided. One of those is telling your wife about the changes or efforts you are making. In her eyes, you communicating this is manipulation and it w…
 
The email said, “I talked my spouse into going to therapy.” Another one asked, “How do I drag my spouse to therapy?” Oof. The first person was proud of the “convincing.” The second person got my response:You Don’t!(Unless, of course, you want to damn the process from the very beginning… and in that case, drag away!)Marriage therapy tends to be the …
 
In this episode we are going to talk about what is really going on behind your wife’s sometimes crazy mood swings and emotional roller coaster and how you as a man should handle this but more importantly appreciate where it is coming from. Remember that I have talked about that the most important thing for any woman in the marriage or in a relation…
 
At the beginning of a coaching session, I do a quick “check-in” to see what we need to accomplish in that session. Since coaching is all about moving forward and making progress, I want to make sure we are moving forward toward client success.But what I often hear instead is, “I want to know why this is happening (the marriage crisis).” I get it. T…
 
Understanding the differences between the feminine and masculine role is imperative for any Man to truly understand their wife. They will gain deep insight as to why she expresses herself the way she does. It will also give you clarity as to what it really means to be masculine and they are not the common definitions of what many people believe.…
 
Discouraged?You are trying to save your marriage and… you can’t get traction. You move a little ahead, only to slide backward. Steps forward and steps backward.And that is why you are discouraged.Am I right?What if I told you that was the nature of the process? What if I told you that almost everyone has moments of frustration?Most people feel like…
 
You know that your marriage is in trouble. Your spouse said so. Maybe it was the “things have to change” speech. Or maybe it was the “I love you, but I’m not in love” speech. Or maybe it was a request to separate or even divorce.It comes into clear focus. Sure, you knew things weren’t great. But you thought they would improve, that you would find y…
 
Bad communication is a big contributor to marriage failures. Not communicating correctly especially over time can and will lead to a deterioration in the marriage. In this episode we explore the 4 most common communication errors so that you can see if any of them apply to you in your marriage.
 
Has your spouse said that to you?: “You’ll NEVER change!"Maybe it was at the end of yet another argument, another struggle, another disagreement. Perhaps it was at the end of another failed attempt to do things differently.If you have tried to change and have failed (meaning, every single human alive!), then maybe you wonder whether it is even poss…
 
In this episode, I emphasize the importance of having a vision, one exercise to help you endure the pain more productively, and how to find and EMBRACE your new self that your children will admire. “The vision is determined by how far you want to take it.”. I talk about why you need to make the decision to MOVE FORWARD. Trauma affects everyone, but…
 
So even when we grow weary and tired, when there's that piece of us, it's still saying is there something more I can do? That's the spirit talking. And if you can sit down and really think about it, and realize there's not, that's an okay place to be. Sometimes it's worthwhile to realize there is nothing more that can be done, there's nothing more …
 
A big EGO and a healthy relationship do not go hand in glove. Most often, we let our pride or EGO to take over the relationship. We think that we are already smart enough to even listen to other people. We think that we are better than other people and feel we have nothing more to learn from them. When we close ourselves and stop listening to other…
 
In the beginning of your relationship your wife really respected it and admired you. She saw you as bigger than you actually were. All of that built up your confidence. It had you feeling powerful and confident that you could conquer anything. But now that she wants a divorce, a separation or does not want to be with you. She is no longer responsib…
 
Loading …

Короткий довідник

Google login Twitter login Classic login