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It’s 1962 and the tides are changing for the American Housewife! Women are entering the workplace but at what cost!? Lucky for you, Marabel May (Amanda Lund), is here to save your marriage.You've read her best-smelling book and now you can listen to her critically-ashamed audio companion. The Complete Woman series is guaranteed to mend your domestic problems...or your husbands money back!
 
For his second Podiobook, Bill Schmalfeldt goes from the sublime to the ridiculous. His follow-up to the non-fiction "No Doorway Wide Enough" is this fanciful, hilarious narrative, voiced by disgraced, former alcoholic truck driver Billy Big Rig (who can never reveal his real name because everyone wants to kill him) who -- if he is to be believed -- infiltrated a terror cell, went to Afghanistan, and single-handedly saved America from another terror attack in the days after 9/11. Along the w ...
 
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It happens. In the middle of a marriage crisis, you can find yourself surrounded by negativity. A spouse negative about the marriage. Friends and family negative about your efforts to save your marriage. You negative, well, about everything you are doing (it is easy to slip into self-blame and self-doubt).Negativity comes from several sources: fear…
 
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29You said something to your spouse, and thought your point was clear. But after a day or two, your mate is really upset. It turns out, your spouse misunderstood what you said. Sound familiar? John, Erin and Greg explain why working through misunderstandings can make …
 
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29When your spouse has hurt you, it's easy to hold on to unforgiveness. But doing so will only make things worse. John talks with Greg and Erin about ways couples can take steps toward healing, even if one of the spouses has been unfaithful. Featuring Mark and Jill Sa…
 
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29Sadly, many couples experience the sting of betrayal. When the unfaithfulness comes to light, the damage is shocking. John talks with Greg and Erin about why an affair is so devastating to a marriage, and they'll point you to resources for starting a recovery proces…
 
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29You long for meaningful connection with your spouse. However, there are moments when it feels like life and responsibilities keep getting in the way. During those seasons, what do you do? John, Greg and Erin suggest some questions you can ask your spouse as a way to…
 
Do you ever feel like you are dancing with your spouse... and not a fun dance??Most of the time, couples get into habits. They both know the steps, and they just keep going through them, 1-2-3, 1-2-3, 1-2-3....No, the dances aren't particularly helpful. And yes, we keep dancing them, anyway!One dance that many couples fall into is the Anger-Blame-S…
 
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29Raising kids with your spouse is one of life's greatest blessings. But anyone who's had children will tell you it's not easy to balance them with your marriage. John talks with Greg and Erin about how to prioritize your marriage, even with the constant demands of pa…
 
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29Success doesn't happen by accident. It requires planning and making intentional decisions. The same principle is true for your marriage. Greg and Erin talk with John about how practicing simple exercises has made their marriage better. Featuring Dr. Marcus Warner an…
 
You've been working hard. You've been trying to make some personal changes, growing and expanding yourself. You've been trying to build a connection with your spouse, slowly and steadily.You feel good about what you are doing. You believe you are gaining grown.But then, your spouse doesn't notice any change at all!What happened? Why can't your spou…
 
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29When you're frustrated with your spouse, it's easy to tell yourself things about him or her that aren't true. We've all been guilty of that before. Greg, Erin and John explain how simple gestures of kindness can calm your emotions, even when you feel frustrated with…
 
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29You love your spouse so much, but we're all still human. Part of being human is getting on each other's nerves. John, Erin and Greg discuss what it looks like for couples to work through irritations during the early years of marriage. Featuring guests Amber Lia, Guy…
 
It almost seems redundant, doesn't it? If you have limited beliefs, they could limit something -- say, for example, your marriage.I say IF you have limited beliefs.Full disclosure: We ALL have limited beliefs that are limiting us. We ALL have blind spots, assumptions, even untrue beliefs. We just don't notice them. And we pay a price for that.Espec…
 
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29The early years of marriage are filled with bliss and lots of adjustments. With so many changes, getting on each others' nerves is very common as you're learning to live together. John, Greg and Erin give some encouragement to newlyweds who are stepping on each othe…
 
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29When it seems hopeless, Jesus will still meet you where you are. Your marriage might be struggling today, but God can do a miracle in your relationship. John and the Smalleys share how they've seen God restore broken marriages. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com…
 
I am way too uncool to ever use "Diss" in a conversation.That said, I will drop it into a headline, because I see too many couples "dissing" their relationship, without even meaning to.Distraction, Disinterest, and Disconnection lead to Disrespect of your relationship.And it often becomes habit, usually without you meaning to.The bad news is, these…
 
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29Many marriages go through a dark season. If you're feeling discouraged today and wondering whether you and your spouse are going to make it, you've come to the right place for hope. Hear John, Erin and Greg explain how it's never too late for God to heal your broken…
 
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29When we get angry at our family, there's typically a deeper reason why. It might even be rooted in unrealistic expectations. Erin, Greg and John discuss how to have healthy expectations for busy seasons, and ways to show your spouse grace when he or she gets upset. …
 
I admit it. The phone call got under my skin. We were traveling and I answered the call. The person asked if I was the "save the marriage guy." I told him I was. He told me he didn't want my System. Just the secret, the "short-cut."When I told him he needed the whole System, he said he didn't want to go through all of that. He just needed the "tric…
 
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29Like music needs a metronome to sound good, your marriage needs a rhythm to help you stay connected. But is that possible when your schedule feels overloaded? John, Erin and Greg discuss ways to make time for your spouse, even with a crowded schedule. Find us online…
 
To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/1196/29Do you remember what it was like when you and your spouse first fell in love? The attraction was so strong. As time goes on, that same attraction can start to fade if you're not careful. John, Greg and Erin provide some helpful thoughts on how to not lose curiosity …
 
I often get a message that goes something like this, “We have been making progress on our marriage. I’ve been working hard to reconnect, and think I have done a good job. But lately, we don’t seem to be making any more progress. Did my spouse Friend Zone me??"Since I have heard this from coaching clients and total strangers, people in my program an…
 
I have some friends who have been in different bootcamps this past year. Most are fitness-oriented… getting back into shape, improving your running, improving your tennis, things like that. Bootcamps are great ways to get up-to-speed as quickly as possible, so you perform better.In the military, people go through bootcamp to get ready to be a soldi…
 
I get this question often enough to know that you may be wondering, too. Is it really possible to save a marriage, or are you just delaying the inevitable?Many people want to know this before they even start the process. They want to make sure that the effort will be worth it. If not, why go through the struggle, right?Some people do make the effor…
 
First, let me be clear: if you are actively saving your marriage, working toward a better relationship... stop reading and go do something else! This won't apply to you!But if you want to save your marriage... but for some reason, you just can't get moving... hang with me! YOU are the one that will benefit from this episode. That "some reason" is w…
 
No, this isn't some electrical engineering idea. Instead, it has more to do with human nature.We often want to find the switch, the on/off switch for some situation. Turn off stress by doing this, turn on fitness by doing this. On or off. With a switch.This causes us to be looking for some super-easy, simple solution... often to complex issues. Par…
 
"You are just too selfish and self-centered. That is why we have marriage problems." Have you heard that before?A listener is wondering if she is too self-centered for her marriage. I am guessing that her spouse has told her just that. Maybe even said she is selfish.It is always interesting when I hear this accusation in my office... from both peop…
 
It's a predicament, isn't it? It would be so much easier to save your marriage... if it weren't for that pesky spouse. (I jest, but you might actually feel this way.)You make an effort, your spouse resists. You take a step forward, your spouse takes a step backward... and tries to drag you back, too!What DO you do? When your spouse is so convinced …
 
I've seen it so many times. A marriage is slowly, slowly, slowly moving apart. Then, suddenly, it is ending! Slowly, then all at once.A recent survey from a divorce attorney group showed the central dynamic of marriages ending: they slowly drifted apart.You may not need a survey to tell you about this threat. I sure didn't. I've seen it over and ov…
 
Are there things that you do that might KEEP you from saving your marriage?Yes.These are pretty common actions people take, not knowing that they are doing MORE damage, and making it even MORE difficult to save their marriage.I wanted to cover these 10 ways you can mess up on saving your marriage, not to point out any mistakes, but to help you avoi…
 
Since my book, Thrive Principles, came out, people have asked me why I shifted my focus from saving marriages to thriving. In reality, there is no shift. My System on saving a marriage is the same path to having a thriving marriage. In fact, my focus from the beginning was on how to have a thriving life in all areas of living -- including in marria…
 
Connection is the lifeblood of any relationship… and especially a marriage. When connection is cut off, the relationship falters. When a marriage is disconnected, the marriage is at risk.This concept is the backbone of my approach. It is the core of my System — restoring the connection.Which is the problem. Many people push and push for connection,…
 
Slowly, slowly... you are making progress! You keep working on turning your marriage around... and it is working!Maybe you think it isn't moving fast enough. Or maybe you have just been holding all of those emotions, fears, and hurts, in... and they start to grow. You can feel it!But you try hard not to let it out. To keep on moving forward. To kee…
 
Are you and your spouse addicted to blame? Do you find yourself pointing your finger toward your spouse, sure that it is really your spouse's fault (and is your spouse doing the same thing?)?Or maybe you are just blaming yourself. You see this whole mess as YOUR fault.Blame has one single outcome -- STUCK. It robs you of power (and steals away resp…
 
I was busy working on some projects when a news notification popped up on my tablet: “Bill and Melinda Gates Announce They Are Divorcing.” Wow, what a power couple! And they were calling it quits.Whenever this happens, a powerful and successful couple decides to divorce, I hear from a few people. They look at all of that _______ (you fill in the bl…
 
Two phone calls the same day. Both with the same question: "What if I CAN'T save my marriage?" One had been working at it for awhile. The other hadn't started (and was trying to decide whether to even start).It's a common question that gets asked at 3 different times in the process. Each has a different meaning. All share a fear.That fear can keep …
 
As often as possible, I like to answer listener submitted questions (you can submit YOUR question by CLICKING HERE). The reason is because if you have a question, it is very likely that someone else has the same (or very similar) question.In this episode, I answer Patrick. His question is a concern that when a spouse says they fell out of love, and…
 
Do you find yourself stuck in arguments in your marriage that never get anywhere? Or maybe it is just a matter of useless “discussions”?I was recently reading a book, and the author (Adam Grant) was noting 3 modes of communication that keep us stuck right where we are. They were not just communication patterns, but thought patterns. Grant noted the…
 
The email was pages long, all about the problems in her marriage. Each line was about how her husband had ruined the marriage. She pointed out actions of her husband, and he did make mistakes (no abuse, mind you).She wanted to know what to do -- how to save her marriage -- given the fact that it wasn't her fault. She was clear that she wanted the m…
 
Is your marriage crisis marked by heated arguments or cold distance? Hot or cold?Are they really that different? Or is it all a part of the same process? And how does it affect your attempts to save your marriage?During back-to-back coaching sessions with two couples, I had a case of each. In the first, both were practically red-faced with anger, t…
 
For some reason, your spouse just can’t see a way forward. You want things to be better… you want to save your marriage. But your spouse can’t (or won’t) see a possibility.Why?There are actually 3 real barriers your spouse might be experiencing. They just can’t see a way around any or all of the barriers.Those 3 barriers are Hurting, Hopeless, and …
 
In my Save The Marriage System Quick-Start Guide, I show the 8 distinct stages of a marriage crisis. But those are the stages of the crisis. There are also stages to your awareness of the crisis.This is the point where you are aware of the crisis, the level of the crisis, and the potential threat of the crisis. And just to let you know: you are NOT…
 
“Marriage should be 50/50,” many a well-intentioned couple told me before they got married. I knew they were in trouble. And for all of the best of intentions! They wanted to be equals. Equal responsibility and equal coverage.Which is exactly what was heading them straight toward the trouble.Yes, they had the best of intentions. And yes, it is a gr…
 
Feelings. We all have them. What we feel, and how we make others feel.Sometimes, we have the wrong feelings. And we try to get away from those feelings.In a relationship in trouble, you can guarantee that someone is not feeling the way that he or she wants to feel. So, that person tries to get away from what is making them feel that way.Unfortunate…
 
Many times, people tell me that their marriage was doing just fine (well, at least OK), and then it was in trouble, “All at once,” that they “didn’t see it coming,” and that others thought they “were the ‘perfect couple’ — then this.” In fact, many people tell me about love notes and loving cards last year, last month, even last week.What happened?…
 
You've been working hard to reconnect and change yourself. You're proud of your efforts. But your spouse just isn't buying.For whatever reason, your spouse just does not trust the changes -- or maybe doesn't even see the changes!Do you feel like you are hitting a brick wall? Like nothing you are doing is making a difference? Like your spouse has al…
 
We had been talking for at least half an hour. I was discussing some thoughts about her marriage problems as she was trying to figure out what to do. I noted where the problems started and how she might start repairing.Fact is, that is why people are on my website, listen to my podcast, grab my System, or seek me out. They want a loving, connected …
 
You started working on saving your marriage. Good for you!And then, you hit a bump. You get knocked down. Maybe you discovered an affair, physical or emotional. Maybe your spouse is irritable and upset. Maybe it is anger and resentment, yours or your spouse’s.And it knocks you down.Enough that you think it is over. That you are at the end.But are y…
 
What do you do when your spouse has shifted back toward you… some… but is still distant? More distant than you would like?Do you have to just accept it, accept the lack of intimacy and connection?Is that the relationship you are stuck with? Some connection. Still married. But not the warmth, love, and connection you do want?That is the question pos…
 
In previous podcast episodes, I have answered questions submitted by listeners. In fact, I still do. You can email your questions by clicking here. But since this podcast goes to listeners around the world, submitted questions need to be a) applicable to others, and b) not so broad that it is impossible to answer in a simple episode.But then, there…
 
You have already journeyed to here. Maybe your relationship is hurting and in pain. Maybe your connection has gone cold. But however you got here, whatever the path, you want to get somewhere different.Somewhere better.It may seem cliche, but it is a journey. And this last part of the journey, it has some stops along the way.Many times, people thin…
 
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