Have you SEEN the state of the papers today? PAPER CUTS has. In our now DAILY podcast, some of Britain’s sharpest commentators and funniest comedians come together to look at the madness, the strangeness, the obsessions, and – occasionally – the brilliance of our national press. Host Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalists and comedians like Jason Hazeley, Fin Taylor, Jonn Elledge, Alex Von Tunzelmann, Grainne Maguire, Rob Hutton, Athena Kugblenu, Marcus Brigstocke and many more. Illustratio ...
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Paper Cuts is a no holds barred discussion about comics every week. The gang talks about new release and have one discussion topic a week with guests often!
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Harvey Weinstein: What’s going on? – Scotland’s government chaos – Is Ryan Gosling the hero cinema needs?
31:14
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: New York Court. Harvey Weinstein's New York rape conviction overturned as prosecutors aim for a retrial. A Holyrood Drama. SNP first minister Humza Yousaf faces a no confidence vote. Plus – More than just Ken? When did we all become obsessed with Ryan Gosling? Miranda Sawyer is joined by political cor…
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Starmer's plan to take back the railways – Hoof it! Inside the London horse rampage – Will John Cleese live forever?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Build track better. Labour have outlined their plans to renationalise the railways if they win the election. Clip, clop, you don’t stop. Two spooked horses seen cantering around London and the press are worried about the end of the world. Plus – Who wants to live forever? John Cleese spends seventeen …
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Tragedy in the Channel – Drake vs. Kendrick Lamar: Rap beef explained – Why are men so weird?
30:51
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Small boats latest. Papers shift focus on tragic Channel crossings after Rwanda legislation passes. Drake-ing news! Why are the world’s biggest rappers feuding? Plus – Pillow talk. The Independent investigates the “boy rooms” that belong to grown men. Miranda Sawyer is joined by The Bunker podcast hos…
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Rishi's Rwanda plan gets go-ahead – Guest who? The new rules of being a host – Meet the geniuses who name your paint
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Flight risk. Sunak has finally passed his Rwanda bill and is promising to start flights in July. Stay the night! The i has the rules for being a good house guest and details how to be a host. Plus – Colour me confused! It’s someone’s actual job to name paint colours – and we’re obsessed with how they …
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The Met Police’s latest scandal – Rave intentions! How rich people ruined Ibiza – The supermarket staples that make you randy
28:48
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Law and Disorder. The papers report on a row over the Metropolitan Police’s approach to a Jewish man at a protest last weekend. Sobering Up. The Times says everyone’s having a terrible time in Ibiza. Plus – I’ll have what she’s having! Gizzi Erskine rates orgasmic food for The i. Miranda Sawyer is joi…
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Taylor Swift: Heartbroken or just boring? – The creepiest article of the year – Should pubs ban kids?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: New Album, who dis? Taylor Swift’s new album is here and the papers are all over it. Not fit to print. A Spectator theatre critic went to a brothel and wrote about it for some reason. Plus – Hit the bottle! Should tots be banned from pubs? Miranda Sawyer is joined by political correspondent for Politi…
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Latest Tory scandal is a sleazy classic – Celebs are putting us all off sex – Is your mate skint or a scrounger?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: At last, some real sleaze! Prime A+ grade scandal as Tory MP is accused of misusing campaign funds to pay off “bad people”. Let’s NOT talk about sex, baby. Celebrities are talking about sex and it’s putting everyone off. Plus – Whose round is it anyway? The Mail warns that your friends are not as skin…
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Liz Truss blames the world – How to date 20 people at once – Spice up your mid-life! Posh turns 50
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Leaf it out! Lettuce Liz Truss has written a book – and oh boy does she want us to know about it. Lots of love. We get the rundown on a 20 person ‘polycule’ in America – and all the top tips on dating multiple people at once. Plus – 1 becomes 50. It’s Posh Spice’s birthday and the papers are obsessed.…
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Sleepy Don! Trump snoozes in court – Truss, Johnson and the war on cigs – P*ss off! The Daily Mail guide to weeing
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: I fought the law and the snore won. Trump’s hush money trial begins – and someone didn’t get enough sleep. Put it out! MP’s debate Rishi’s flagship smoking ban. Plus – Taking the piss? The Mail has timed the perfect pee. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by The Bunker podcast host Jacob Jarvis and comedia…
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The Papers prepare for WW3 – How tech bros are planning to live forever – Gordon Ramsay’s squatter nightmare
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Iran attacks Israel. The papers react to the fallout from Iran’s drone attack on Israel over the weekend. Who wants to live forever? Meet the tech bros trying to defy death. Plus – Hell’s kitchen! Squatters take over a multimillion pound pub owned by Gordon Ramsey. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journali…
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The Papers vs. OJ Simpson – Did we get conned by Joe Lycett’s fake news? – Horsing around at the Grand National
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Is the juice worth the squeeze? The papers have a LOT to say about OJ “definitely not a murderer” Simpson after his death at 76. Lycett, damned Lies and Exclusives! How many of Joe Lycett’s fake news did we end up covering? Plus – Neigh-sayers. It’s the Grand National tomorrow, and the papers are obse…
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Biden warns Iran over Israel – Dr Non! Why you can’t honeytrap a French spy – What do Gen Z think of Bridget Jones?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Teheran to Tel Aviv. Biden states his support for Israel as threats of Iranian attack rise. The Spy Who Came In For A Quickie. The Mail’s discovered why you can’t honeytrap a French spy. Plus – I like big knickers and I cannot lie. Bridget Jones is back! What do fun-loving Gen Z think of the cig-smoki…
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Why I binned my A.I. boyfriend – Tabloids in “woke Scrabble” meltdown – Has your bloke got a secret family?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Bot in the name of love! Sex columnist Kate Lister’s tested out an A.I. boyfriend – and it ended in heartbreak . How to get away with a second family. Mail writer has an affair with ‘perfect man’, but things are not as they seem… Plus – A Real Game Changer. The papers think Scrabble has gone woke and …
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Trump: "Call me Nelson Mandela 2.0" – The nightmare Disney dreamland for grown-ups – "Don't wanna date me? I'll sue you!"
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Freeee… Donald Trump! The former US president is comparing himself to Nelson Mandela and we’re perplexed. Social mousing. Disney is building a curated living community in California. Why? Plus – All’s fair in love and law. An American man is suing women he claims ‘ruined his love life’ with nasty comm…
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Why the Mail hates Angela Rayner – Hardest Geezer’s Africa run: record faker? – How to be a love rat
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Neighbourhood Watch. The Mail are going after where Labour Deputy leader Angela Rayner lives. Jog on. Russ Cook aka ‘The Hardest Geezer’ has run the length of Africa. Plus – Three more reps of kissing strangers! How to cheat on your partner, according to an infidelity coach. Miranda Sawyer is joined b…
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Grindr MP’s blackmail bungle – The Amy Winehouse film nobody wants – Blind Date is back. WHY?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Honey Trap Sex Scandal! Tory MP gives his mates’ phone numbers to shady person on Grindr. What could go wrong? Too Soon. The Times insists on telling us about Amy Winehouse’s men. Plus – We are so back. Blind Date might be returning and we’re here for the nostalgia. Miranda Sawyer is joined by politic…
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Labour set to smash Blair’s victory – Buried in balls! The Guardian finds its happy place – Have you got the perfect number of friends?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Things can only get better! Labour are on track for an election victory larger than Blair’s in 1997. Don’t worry, be happy. Can The Guardian find its fun side? A reporter goes to a ballpit to find out. Plus – Why can’t we be friends? The i works out the perfect number of mates. Jacob Jarvis is joined …
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Horror at killing of Brit aid workers – Could AI bots land you a new job? – Jonathan Ross tells you to stop showering
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: “Completely unacceptable”. World leaders react as an Israeli air strike kills aid workers. Humanoid Resources. The Times investigates whether AI can help you land a new job. Plus – Dish the Dirt! Why you should shower less, according to Johnathan Ross Jacob Jarvis is joined by CNN comment writer Holly…
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Sunak wants to fine the homeless – Gwyneth Paltrow’s laser dildo – The world’s creepiest nepo baby
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Rough sleeping. The Conservatives are pondering whether to fine the homeless thousands of pounds. Laser focus! The Times’ has the scoop on the new self improvement devices you don’t need. Plus – Mum’s the word. Liz Hurley’s son Damian is in the spotlight – with questions over his credentials beyond fa…
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In today’s special edition, we’re thrilled to be joined by two former Prime Ministers to look at the hot news stories of the day. On the agenda: Maths for Meals. Rishi Sunak wants kids to pass numeracy tests for free school meals. Penny Pinchers. Piggy banks to be accepted as deposits for 0.00003% mortgages. Plus – Generation Sex. A Guardian journa…
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Monkey Business. We tell the story of Honshu, the Japanese macaque’s highland adventure. Can’t get no Satisfaction! The Daily Mail highlights the plight of a mother of 5 who has never climaxed. Plus – The Famine Queen. We take a look at the legacy of Queen Victoria and then wash our mouths out with so…
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Sorted for Eels and Whizz – Stop getting Easter wrong! – Romance is dead: Inside the crush crash
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Coked Up Crustaceans. Sewage scandal leaves sealife high as a flying fish. Pulp crucifixion. The Easter culture wars are here, and The Telegraph is leading the charge. Plus – Fancy that! The Independent laments the ‘crush crash’, but what is it? Jacob Jarvis is joined by LBC host Natasha Devon and com…
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What’s Prince Harry got to do with P Diddy? – Bum notes! It's time to talk about pegging – Kim Wrong-Un: North Korea versus Alan Titchmarsh
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Tenuous Royal Connection. How have the papers managed to connect Prince Harry to the P Diddy raid? Strapper’s delight. Give pegging a chance, says the i’s doyenne of sex columnists Kate Lister i. Plus – Mission Kim Possible! Why on earth did North Korea blur out Alan Titchmarsh’s trousers? Miranda Saw…
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Trump narrowly escapes going bust – Are you a Bonking Boomer or an Anxious Alpha? – Nadine Dorries is feeling sexy at 66
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Don Poorleone. Former President and fake tan enthusiast Donald Trump manages to escape financial disaster for now. The Generational Game. The Times outlines the hallmarks of each generation – and we disagree heartily. Plus – Hopping Nad. Nadine Dorries is feeling herself at sixty-six – and she’s telli…
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Kate news sparks panic backtracks – Women! Strike for the right to be lazy – Could you survive 24 hours in a Wetherspoon’s?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Anarchy in the Monarchy. The fallout from Kate’s cancer diagnosis panics the broadsheets. Vive La Révolution! French feminist tells women to strike for a better life. Plus – Stormy Wether. A Times journalist tries 24 hours in a Wetherspoon’s. Does he make it? Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedians Marc…
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The Sun’s woke police slam England’s new shirt – Elephants in Hyde Park – Yolk? Oh no! Creme Egg wars
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The shirt hits the fans. Nike’s ‘playful’ update on the newest England kits causes a completely proportional right wing meltdown. Trunk and disorderly. Botswana threatens to send 10,000 elephants to the UK. Plus – How do you eat yours? It’s Creme Egg season, and The Telegraph goes into full investigat…
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Yes Sir! French President Macron goes full thirst trap on the front page of The Telegraph – and Obama’s getting praised for his flat tummy too. Late life crisis. The ninety-year-olds turning it around in their twilight years. Plus – Check you out! The Telegraph is taking on the big issues again: why s…
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“Leave Kate alone!” says photo flogger – Are YOU having a quarter-life crisis? – Dress like your nan, say fashionistas
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Pap smear. Sneaky Kate photo snapper tells everyone else to leave the Princess alone. Smells like teen dispirit. The earth's burning, there’s a housing crisis but the papers are still wondering why young people aren’t as happy as their parents. Plus – Drop it like Grandma. Need style tips? Look to you…
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Well that settles that… or does it? The Sun has found Princess Kate outside a farmhouse in Windsor, but the masses are unconvinced. Sense and Insensibility. Jeremy Clarkson’s had a go at ‘boring’ Jane Austen and The Star isn’t having it. Plus – Gone with the Widows. Scottish Widows Group Limited told …
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Bonkers Tories: 'Let's swap Rishi for Penny' – Men want big butts and we’ll tell you why – Romantic tales of ‘missed connections’
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Follow the leader? Is Penny Mordaunt about to topple Rishi Sunak? Oh the Cheek! Why men are working on bountiful booties. Plus – Love is in the airplane? The people brought together by missed connections ads. Miranda Sawyer is joined by i columnist Rebecca Reid and comedian Marcus Brigstocke. Help us …
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Small votes crisis! No May election, says Sunak – Meghan launches tat for toffs – Are you a DINKWAD?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Stag-nation. The May General election is OFF and we’re all bereft. Sparkle with Markle. The Duchess of Sussex teaches us how to make marmalade and more with her new “lifestyle brand”. Plus – Yeah, I’m a DINKWAD, wad of it? The Times has the scoop on the new social groups and we’re struggling to keep u…
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Why is America banning TikTok? – Would you go to sea on the Titanic 2? – “I’m so gorgeous I’ve never been dumped”
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Clock Is TikToking! The US is on the verge of banning TikTok over links to the Chinese Government. That sinking feeling. Australian billionaire wants to relaunch the Titanic and the reception is icy. Plus – Not like the other girls. The Mail’s women-are-rubbish correspondent Samantha Brick has never b…
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Tory moneyman’s race row – Lily Allen: “My kids ruined my career” – Vets have gone to the dogs
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Donor Kebabbed! The Guardian reveals more of Tory donor Frank Hester’s ‘jokes’ – and no one is laughing. Mum’s the word. Pop star Lily Allen says having kids ruined her career. Plus – Woof justice. Vet watchdog says bills are too high and the papers have the lead. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalis…
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Princess Kate says: “Soz, I'm rubbish at Photoshop!” – Does 30p Lee's flounce matter? – Could you work for a Scorpio?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Picture Imperfect! The press jumps to the defence of amateur photographer Kate Middleton and we aren’t buying it. Lee’s done another runner. Former Labour councillor turned Conservative turned independent turns to Farage’s Reform UK in shock party swap. Plus – Not written in the stars. Gen Z are refus…
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Kate Middleton photoshop conspiracy – Who stole the show at the Oscars? – The Guardian investigates a crab museum
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Photo strop! A doctored photo of Kate Middleton sends the press reeling. That’s showbiz. The 2024 Oscars ran smoothly, but there were still some surprise winners. Plus – Feeling Crabby! The Guardian’s deep dive into Margate’s crab museum is exactly what we needed today. Miranda Sawyer is joined by The…
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: I’m every (international) Woman. It’s International Women’s day, so naturally the papers get women competing against one another. Barklife! Crufts is back and the papers have exactly as many dog photos as you’d want. Plus – Stink-Eye For the Queer Guy. Rolling Stone’s exposé of shenanigans at Queer Ey…
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The tabloids’ budget meltdown – The Times dives deep on Britain’s shagging habits – What's inside the Oscars goodie bags?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: A budget budget for the budget conscious. Jeremy Hunt’s gave his (hopefully last) budget and the press are divided. The secret sex lives of the nation. We read The Times’ article on British bedroom habits so you don’t have to. Plus – A slice of cake and a novelty spoon! The Oscars goodie bags are… rea…
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Cringe on the couch with the Sunaks – Sausage roll with the punches: The Times vs. Greggs – Red carpet moments gone wrong
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Keeping Up With The Sunaks. The PM and wife sit down with Grazia magazine for an interview that redefines the word “uncomfortable”. What’s the beef? The Times gets judgey about Greggs. Plus – Glitz and Clamour. The Guardian investigates why celebrity red carpet interviews are going off the rails. Mira…
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Trump's lucky day in latest court ruling – Do you know who anyone on Celeb Big Brother is? – The mega-money 'pre-wedding' of the year
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Mourning in America. The US Supreme Court rules Donald Trump can run in every state. Hall of fame? ‘Celebrity’ Big Brother has started and we’re still trying to work out who the contestants are… Plus – Can’t buy me love! The Times and The Telegraph have the scoop on the latest celeb packed mega-weddin…
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Sexts shame of Geri Spice’s F1 fella – Raye, Kylie and CMAT storm the Brits – “Flossing for erections”? The Telegraph’s mad sex tips
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: What a Raye day! Croydon’s ten-year overnight sensation conquers the Brits, plus Kylie saves the world and CMAT brings the “craic”. It’s Self-Doubt Monday! The papers are going to improve your brain, your weight and your sex life… whether you like it or not. Plus – Spice up your wife! The Daily Mail h…
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George Galloway runs away with Rochdale – Paul Mescal’s pub of love – The world’s weirdest wedding rituals
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Why election? George Galloway wins in Rochdale. Ugh. I wanna live like Normal People. A deep dive into screen hunk Paul Mescal’s love life. Kiss the bride? A load of weird wedding traditions make it in the Daily Star. Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian Marcus Brigstocke and The Critic writer Rob Hut…
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Where is Kate Middleton? – GB News drives the Tories crazier – Don't worry Millennials, you'll be rich one day!
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Gone Girl. Key Royals are missing and The Daily Mail are terrified. News in name only. GB News is going out to the fringes and dragging the Conservative party with it. Plus – That’s rich. Survey says millennials will become “the richest ever” once their parents pop off. “In your dreams,” says angry Ti…
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BBC, Huw Edwards and The Sun in blame-fest – Peppa Pig corrupts American youth – Taylor Swift is a satanist, says Boyzone star
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: How not to handle a scandal. The BBC apologises over the Huw Edwards scandal and The Sun is all over it. Telling Porkies? Americans think Peppa Pig is ruining their children and we’re confused. Plus – Anti-hero? Taylor Swift is accused of Satanic links by a member of… Boyzone? Miranda Sawyer is joined…
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Trump takes on Prince Harry – Jeremy Hunt’s tax cut conundrum – ‘I went to an orgy and didn’t shag’
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Royal Rumble. Donald Trump takes on Prince Harry in his latest bluster bust up. Let’s talk about Tax, Baby. Jeremy Hunt has been warned against tax cuts even though Tories are begging him. Plus – Just for research… Times journalist goes to an orgy and doesn’t get into the groove. Jacob Jarvis is joine…
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Lee Anderson sparks latest Tory turmoil – Joe Biden’s saucy sex life – Bridget Jones is back. Why?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today:Whip apart! 30p Lee Anderson has been suspended in the Tories’ latest Islamophobia row. All of the Papers have opinions. Plus – Shagger in Chief. Biden reveals the secret to a happy marriage is good sex, The Daily Mail blushes. A Bridget too far. The Telegraph is not excited about the return of Bridget…
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Lettuce Liz goes mad in America – Barking Bad! Meet Joe Biden’s hell-hound – Are you too posh for Wetherspoon's?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Lettuce to America. Five-minute Prime Minister Liz Truss meets even madder Republicans at C-PAC, the Glastonbury of American’s barmy Right. Canine Chaos. Joe Biden’s German Shepard is biting everything in sight and The Star is obsessed. Plus – Is your pub posh enough? The spectre of a new Wetherspoon'…
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Disorder, Disorder! The Commons speaker fights for his political life after Parliament descended into chaos. Plus – Stuck in the middle! The middle-class are struggling to get by, according to The Times… on sixty grand a year. Get a room! London’s BT Tower is to become a super sleek hotel – and we’re …
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Prince William’s Gaza plea – Trolleyed? Spannered? How do you say “I’m drunk”? – Roll up for Elton’s car boot sale
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Prince’s Speech. The King in waiting weighs in on the Gaza crisis and the papers are shocked. You cabbaged mullard, you cheap nasty fluthered. The British have more words for being drunk than anyone else and we’re extremely patriotic about it. Plus – Trinket Man. Inside Elon John’s Christie’s auct…
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David Cameron vs. dirty Russian money – Dad bods vs. lady bods – The Mail’s Liz Jones vs. reality
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Dirty cash convertors. The i explains how Lord Cameron is angering banks with plans for using dirty Russian money. Let’s get physical. Boffins at The Times have proof that women workout better than men. Plus – Bad Blood. Liz Jones is back in the Daily Mail to tell the world that she’s just like Taylor…
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Bad Badenoch lays into Post Office ex-chairman – Barbenheimer row settled at the Baftas – The Star solves JFK mystery
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Lost in the post Kemi Badenoch picks a fight with ex-chair of the Post Office after she’s accused of delaying payouts to victims. Box office bomb Oppenheimer cleans up at the Baftas. Plus – Whodunnit? The Star has figured out who shot JFK. Alex Von Tunzlemann is joined by journalist Jonn Elledge and s…
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