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Frame 161 - Strike. Nazi supporter Ian Twitch has suspended Richard Herring for offending him by saying that the Tories are the same as the Nazis. Consequently all the pundits, commentators and predicting puppets have gone on strike in support. So this is a bare bones edition of the contest, with just the action. Which means it has all the pots in,…

Frame 160 - Winner Gets Ants. All the usual rubbish from this long running snooker competition, plus all the excitement of the FA and Scotch Women's football. And also some snooker. It's a very exciting frame. But can some puppets predict the result? I used to be on TV.British Comedy Guide

Frame 159 - Potting through the Pain. It's another round of snooker and both players have been poked in the eye and also have painful hips. But that doesn't stop them playing snooker to a scarcely adequate standard. Who will win? They thought it was all over, but is it now?British Comedy Guide

Framer 158: Sh!thouse - An absolutely appalling game of snooker to follow last week's classic. Nothing in this is worth your time or your money. Luckily we are not asking for money, but you could potentially earn some money by doing something productive instead of experiencing this. There was a good shot near the end and also a great escape from an…

Frame 157 - Academical. It's the first frame of 2023 and what new year's resolutions will the players have and will anyone involved remember how any of this works? It doesn't matter. It's one of the greatest displays of self-playing snooker ever recorded. Sit back and enjoy it all, because sport does not get better than this.…

Frame 156 - Politics and Sport. In a crucial frame Me1 takes on Me2 - one of them is on a bad run of form, can he turn it around? And will there be any repercussions for Referee 1 after last week's controversies. And will the LGBTQ+ community boycott the sport after this week. Find out by watching/listening to the latest instalment in this thrillin…

Frame 155 - Touching the Pink. It's a crucial frame and there's a couple of controversial moments that could alter the whole course of the competition, but the referee's decision is final. Plus a 7 year-old heckles as she insists we look at her art, the football scores are in at 8.03 and Prince Andrew is back. I remember when this thing was purely …

Frame 154 - Nonce Sense. In a crucial frame Me 1 and Me 2 battle it out for the title of who is the best at snooker. There's arena naming controversy and Sybil is unavailable, but surely no one else is capable of seeing the future like her? It's a high octane contest and maybe the best snooker we've seen on the old green board since lockdown.…

Frame 153 - Vision On. In a crucial frame Me1 takes on Me2 at snooker and to couldn't be more exciting. It's just not possible. Even if it was on a rollercoaster. In many ways that would spoil it.British Comedy Guide

Frame 152 Snooker, She Wrote - In a crucial frame in the contest Me1 takes on Me2 at snooker with hilarious consequences. Plus football scores at far too far into the matches to be of any interest to anyone.British Comedy Guide

Frame #151 Stone of Scoooooooon. In a crucial frame Me1 takes on Me2 as they attempt to ascertain who is the best at snooker. Plus news of the most important football match of the year, Halifax Town versus York City. And a scary doll.British Comedy Guide

In Liz We Truss. It's a century and a half of snooker in just ten and a bit short years and tonight is a pivotal frame in the contest. Crucial some might say. Some amazing snooker but from whom and for how long. Will defeat be snatched from the jaws of victory again. And who will buy Richard's book?British Comedy Guide

Frame 149 - Executioner. The period of mourning is over but one player is still reeling from the funeral, whilst the other expresses views on the monarchy that can not be condoned by any right thinking person. But away from politics and football scores it's a thrilling and crucial frame. Enjoy the action.…

Frame 148 - Concord Rangers. We could have just sloped off and pretended we'd forgotten but we're back with a tired but thrilling frame in honour of her majesty Mrs Mclusky. There's a lot of football to get through first. And Sybil makes another prediction. And so on.British Comedy Guide

Frame 147 - Maximum Break. An incredible landmark as the podcast hits its 147th frame. Sadly everyone involved is so knackered that this is going to be a total waste of 20 minutes of your life. Richard seems annoyed to be there, the players can't play, the referee can't remember whose go it is. Absolute fucking shambles.…

Frame 146 - No, I'm Czechoslovakia. In a crucial frame in the contest, Me1 takes on Me2 at snooker to see who is the best at snooker. They are both tired and dizzy and there are a few fouls in this one and practically no decent play, But you have to take the rough with the smooth and snooker is a game of two halves, so shut up with your complaining…

Frame 145 - Württemberg. In a crucial frame in the contest, Me1 and Me2 face off on the old green board to try to determine which of them is best at snooker, whilst Richard propositions an 82 year-old woman who was widowed today and everyone gets a bit too excited about Referee 3 (can you spot the mistake she made in setting up the board?). Hang ar…

Frame 144 - Referee Three. In this crucial frame Me 1 takes on Me 2 at snooker to determine who is the best at snooker. And recent refereeing errors mean the frame begins with a bang, with no expense spared for the special effects. Will a new broom sweep the sport clean of claims of corruption. It's an incredibly spooky frame with thrills and spill…

Frame 143 - Fire Referee 1 (Into the Heart of the Sun). An exhausted Me1 and Me2 take to the old green board to see who will win this crucial frame. They are keen to get it over with as soon as possible, but another monumental refereeing error extends play time. Bad for them, but loads more snooker for you.…

Frame 142 - Frog. A very tired Richard Herring presents this crucial frame in the contest. Can Sybil repeat her amazingly accurate prediction from last week? What were the football scores at 8.03pm? Who raids a snooker match after it is over? Why is an old bamboozled man hosting a Twitch channel? Who will win this crucial frame? Find out by watchin…

Frame 141 - Curse? It's a crucial frame in the contest that might well determine the eventual winner, but will the incredible shift in form continue? There's a big match of football too, but the two early goals arrive too late to get a mention on the soccer round up. Sybil's powers are getting spooky and Me2 is playing for a very special fan. And t…

Frame 140 - Porn. It's a crucial frame in the contest, after last week's controversy. Referee one's life is hanging by a thread, but allegations have been made against both players. But at times like these we can only let the snooker do the talking and boy does it talk tonight? No, it doesn't. It's a game.…

Frame 139 Yellow. The contest couldn't be at a more exciting point and this frame is absolutely crucial. Should the arena be named after the wife of a Neofascist? How are Gala Fairydean getting on in the football? Why are people still watching this when they're allowed to go out now? And will Sybil's Paddy McGuinness prediction come true? Oh and th…

Frame 138 - Bad News For Paddy - Let the contest continue. More superb snooker action as well as expert football analysis and terrifying visions of the future from a scary doll. Can the Me who has been doing badly hit form at last? Or will the Me who is doing well continue to deliver the goods? And when is Twitch of Fun back? All questions will be …

Frame 137 - Sixty-Nine. It's a crucial frame in this ongoing contest that could well decide the final result. Can the out-of-form player turn things around or will the in-form player stay in form and win? And more importantly, what are the football scores at 8.03pm and what does the Scrappy Doo of Self-Playing Snooker think is going to happen?…

Frame 136 - These Are The Days of Miracle and Wonder - We're mourning the death of a cinematic great, but we still need to know the 8.03 football scores, however painful they may be for York City and can Sibyl keep up her amazing 1 week run of getting the result partially correct? It's an incredible frame of snooker from start to finish. You are go…

Frame 135 - Post-Watershed. The snooker is recorded at 9pm this week, meaning a certain number of swear words are allowed, but will the Mes use them all? And can they top (or just copy) the Oscars? And how will having football scores from later in the game affect things? What the Hell is this thing? How is it still going on? Why are you enabling it…

Frame 134 - Ajax. The snooker is in danger of being replaced by a football update service. Which I think might be more popular. But Sibyl would surely warn us if that was going to happen, so accurate are her predictions. Anyway, more snooker playing in what is a crucial frame in the competition.British Comedy Guide

Frame 133 - Young Boys. Richard is going great guns with his 8.02pm football score catch up. He might even stop doing the snooker and concentrate on that. But for now the snooker continues and it's a stone cold classic frame and it's a crucial one for the competition. Maybe as few as 1000 frames to go, so don't miss it.…

Frame 132 22/2/22. It's a day of massive numerical significance, but will that be reflected in the final score. Sibyl certainly thinks so. And will Rich finish the show in time to get some time to himself before his wife gets home? So much jeopardy, so many twos. This is a crucial frame in the contest that is bound to have an effect on the final re…

Frame 131 - For Whom the Bell Dongs. After a fortnight hiatus the Mes are back, in a crucial frame that could make all the difference in the contest. With a visit from the completely innocent Duke of York and another prediction from Sybil, the players get down to some very exciting snooker action. Who will win? I am not telling you in this blurb as…

Northampton 0 Barrow 0 - Richard tries to boost his viewership by offering an unparalleled sports service. Referee 1's life is hanging in the balance and the players are giving Vladimir Putin something to think about. Sybil brings her magic power of prediction to the festivities again and it's a record breaking frame which could have a real impact …

Frames 128 and 129 - Sybil. Me1's wife is out so the players get to do two frames tonight. There's potting, controversy and a good joke about balls going in the bin. And there's a new character with amazing powers that will blow your mind. Will Referee 1 still have his job next week? And when will VAR bring some consistency to the sport?…

Frame 127 - Fifty Seven Years To Go - All the Mes have been declared Covid free and allowed into the country and so Self-Playing snooker can continue. But the curse of the world's oldest man has struck again and Richard is keen to get downstairs to see his wife after being denied his conjugal rights for 10 long days and nights. So the players play …

Frame 126 - Seventeen Years To Go. The contest is reaching a crucial stage where every frame played counts as one frame to whoever wins it and the trophy can be won or lost right now, though we won't be able to be sure about that until one or all of the players are dead. It's a cracking frame of snooker though and all good fun, until everyone gets …

Frame 125 - The Not Christmas Frame Richard is back playing with himself, live on Twitch and he's determined that this fine sport should not be tainted by Yuletide chuff. It's a thrilling frame which could go either way, with some amazing talking points. Perfect to watch on Christmas morning (as long as you are not celebrating Christmas). Back the …

Frame 124 - All The Angles. It's all change at Me1 vs Me2 Snooker today, with an unnecessary degree of professionalism introduced (to the presentation at least). It won't really make much difference to the audiophiles though. There's high breaks, controversy and one of the Mes wins a frame of snooker. But which one? I can't say here as finding out …

Frame 123 - BJ Fan? - Things get a little political ahead of this crucial frame in the contest, with so much resting on the result, but there comes a time to let the snooker do the talking and there's a chance of a maximum break for one player, but will he take it? Or will he blow it? There's only one way to get the answer. Tune in to the world's p…

Frame 122 - Earthquake - As predicted in the Book of Revelations, on the 10th anniversary of the first self-playing snooker podcast the ground fhall fhake and the frame fhall freeze and no one will be fure which Me hath won the frame. It's 10 years since we started and we're still going strong. Expect some guest appearances from your least favourit…

Frame 121 - To Vax or Not To Vax, That is the Question One week from the tenth anniversary of the beginning of this never ending tournament and there have been some booster jabs in the mix. Will they affect snooker arms? And are you better off unvaccinated? Some incredible break building in this episode and some tromboning too. But who is trombonin…

Frame 120 - BJ - More self-playing snooker like in the other episodes in the ongoing mission to find the best me. Can we bring it home in under 30 minutes?British Comedy Guide

Poor Ziggy - it's back and it's nearly been going for ten years at a heady pace of almost a frame a month. But someone connected with the wider Self-Playing Snooker universe has passed on and there has to be a moment of reflection. Before the greatest sporting event of the millennium. It will keep you guessing right up to the last minute and wishin…

Frame 118 - 118 118 - It's back. After almost 11 months, the classic self-playing snooker contest picks up again - no stupid accents, no knock outs, no bullspit. But who will prove superior tonight Me 1 or Me 2. There's controversy from the off, but from then on just pure excitement and amazing break after amazing break. Sometimes there are snooker…

Shoot up the Table - It's finally here, the final day of frames and the two one million pound winners (or one two million pound winner). Some people thought it was all over before these last two frames, but those people might be in for a shock. I promise you that this tournament will keep you on the edge of your seat right down to the very last sho…

Things Get Serious - In the penultimate week of frames there are some huge matches that could change the top, middle and bottom of the table. Will Durex cough up their Johnny money? Will the highest break be beaten? Will we find out what Sam Beckett's mission was? Isn't this just the same bloke playing himself at snooker quite badly? Will Referee 1…

Mates - Some people think it's all over, but there are still a few of the Mes in a position to win the whole shebang and three of them are playing tonight. At least one of them won't be in a position to win by the end of it. But there's some amazing action and some tough choices to be made by the professionals and still no word from our sponsors Du…

Eraser - It's all hotting up now isn't it and tonight's frames could put the pretty kitty amongst the pigeons or basically crown the champion with 6 frames to play. Me1, Me2, Me 11 and Me 31 are the players in action and any of them could be walking home with at least one million pounds in a month's time, courtesy of Ian Durex. But what will the re…

Highest Break It's the final matches of the fifth round and the tension if pretty much unbearable. But still just about bearable. There's discussion of the highest break so far in the tournament and then one of the players challenges for the highest break. But which one? And can she make it? There's a million pounds from our sponsor, Durex if whoev…

Xenophobia - The contest is really hotting up as we try to determine who will be the champion of the European Super League of Self-Playing Snooker and all the players in today's frames are in contention for the win. The ESLOSPS would like to apologise for some of the views expressed in this episode, but sadly they have no recourse to ban players fo…

Johnny Be Good - The ESLOSPS is heating up. Can Me 3 go top tonight? Which Me will have lost all four of their first four frames? Is Me11's luck about to turn. Will the old-fashioned attitudes of some of the people involved in this enterprise ever change? And where exactly is Me31 even from? There's a week off as the Mes go on holiday together, but…