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Want the academic take on dating in the modern world? Legal scholar Irina Manta and psychologist Michelle Lange bring you the latest on how to swipe your way through dating apps, find love, navigate complex relationships, and avoid narcissists and other predators. Come learn about cutting-edge research and find out how to make online dating work for YOU! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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On the day before the U.S. presidential election of 2024, Irina and Michelle examine the impact of this event on relationships. First and foremost, what happens if two romantic partners disagree on their choice of presidential candidate? The Dating Professors also discuss questions such as what if a partner neglects household duties to engage in po…
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On this episode, Irina and Michelle dissect the new Netflix hit show "Nobody Wants This," a tale of a non-religious woman who falls in love with a rabbi and of the mayhem that ensues. The Dating Professors then go on to discuss interfaith dating generally. What are the things to watch out for? In what ways are religious beliefs likely to affect rom…
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Irina speaks with dispute resolution specialist Steven Wolhandler, who uses his dual background in law and psychology to help people handle emotional predators. The author of "Protecting Yourself from Emotional Predators: Neutralize the Users, Abusers, and Manipulators Hidden Among Us," Steven dispenses practical advice on how to recognize, avoid, …
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On this episode, Irina speaks with psychologist Justena Kavanagh who specializes in helping people to overcome coercive control and other narcissistic abuse. Justena talks about the different insidious forms that narcissism can take, including relational narcissism. She explains why these behavior types are so difficult to uncover and combat. Juste…
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Irina's special guest on this episode is no other than her husband (and "Strangers on the Internet" sound editor) Carlos Farini. They discuss the beginning of their relationship, from Bumble to exclusivity in three dates. Carlos also explains what he would say to men who do not value relationships and/or do not wish to date smart women. Come find o…
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In this episode, Irina discusses all things interracial dating with Prof. Solangel Maldonado of the Seton Hall University School of Law. Solangel introduces listeners to her new book "The Architecture of Desire: How the Law Shapes Interracial Intimacy and Perpetuates Inequality." How have not only anti-miscegenation laws but also laws related to pr…
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Dr. Rebecca Davis, the Miller Family Early Career professor at the University of Delaware, recently completed the first major account of the history of sex and sexuality in America in three decades. She talks with Irina and Michelle about her new book "Fierce Desires," which complicates our understanding of how issues such as gender identity and se…
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On this episode, Irina speaks with clinician Dr. Christine Cocchiola and divorce coach Amy Polacko about their new book "Framed: Women in the Family Court Underworld." These coauthors describe the devastating consequences that many women experience when they try to leave their abusers and to protect their children during and after divorce. The podc…
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In the fifth part of this coverage of the sexual misconduct allegations against ex-George Mason University (GMU) law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright, Irina invites back Dilan Esper, an experienced litigator in areas that include defamation law and the First Amendment. Together, they analyze the most recent legal developments in …
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What are the neurobiological underpinnings of relationships? Irina and Michelle delve into that question and its implications with St. Louis University professor and director of SLU's relationships and brain sciences research laboratory Dr. Dixie Meyer. She explains how couples co-regulate their emotions and what can go awry in the process, whether…
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One of the chief complaints of dating app users (and especially straight women) is that commitment phobia abounds in those they meet. Can people with commitment phobia ever change? And if so, can they ever be nudged into such change? What happens when someone commits out of fear of losing the other person? Irina and Michelle discuss all that and mo…
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On this episode, Arkansas State University philosophy professor Michele Merritt joins us from Tennessee with her engineer husband Paul Hiebing. The couple discusses meeting online and navigating life from dating in Florida to getting married, moving states twice, and adding both kids and pets. How have they weathered mental health challenges, inclu…
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According to recent data and media reports, Gen Z has some enthusiasm for dating in the workplace. Is that a good idea, however? Irina and Michelle dissect the pros and cons of finding a significant other at work. What happens if things fall apart and people have to keep collaborating after a break-up? And how might scenarios play out if there is a…
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On this episode, Irina and Michelle chat with psychotherapist and sex addiction specialist D.J. Burr. In recovery from sex addiction himself, D.J. explains the condition and the path toward improvement. He discusses how trauma connects to addiction, how dating apps cause special problems for those with addiction, and why he thinks porn can never be…
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"Opposites attract," the old adage goes. Is that really true, however? Irina and Michelle delve into the ways that disparities are a drawback versus advantage in relationships. What are some of the Dating Professors' personal habits and preferences that they think would cause conflict if a mate was diametrically different? Come listen to an explora…
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On this episode, Irina and Michelle talk to German visual artist Sebastian, whom Irina met on a long train ride in Europe over a decade ago. He is a photographer, comic artist, graphic designer, illustrator, silk-screen printer, painter, and musician who has lived as a digital nomad for some time. From photographing Iggy Pop to having his work appe…
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When and how should you intervene in loved ones' romantic relationships? The Dating Professors address the issue in this episode. Irina and Michelle talk about the things that make them uncomfortable to watch in other couples, and discuss various attempts to help. How did Michelle react when a friend butted in as she was preparing to enter a real e…
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Cassie, a NYC professional in her 40s, did not see her live-in partner's cheating coming. She tells Irina and Michelle about the way her 49-year-old boyfriend--whom she met in a physical therapist's office at the start of the pandemic--betrayed Cassie with a 27-year-old mutual friend! Find out how Cassie's dog played a key role in sniffing out the …
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Is there hope for finding love late in life, including after being widowed or divorced? The Dating Professors explore in this episode the stereotypes and true challenges--but also advantages--of looking for a match in one's later years. Irina and Michelle discuss the higher degree of self-knowledge present in one's senior years, the complications t…
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Season 3 begins with the feel-good tale of how Rutgers emergency physician Dr. Aislinn Black and Cornell information law scholar Prof. James Grimmelmann met in the early days of social media. Learn how 19th century Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard played a key role in their connecting and how Aislinn initially tried to matchmake James with a fr…
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Irina and Michelle guide listeners through a retrospective of the "Strangers on the Internet" podcast on the occasion of the show's 50th episode. What lessons have the Dating Professors learned from their guests and conversations? Our hosts discuss societal loneliness and disconnection, the state of the dating apps, and the key traits and situation…
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Award-winning screenwriter and author L.L. Kirchner takes Irina and Michelle through the whirlwind of her life in this episode you will not want to miss. While living in Qatar, L.L. received a phone call from her husband announcing that he wanted a divorce. Afraid that she would spiral back into substance addiction, L.L. promptly decided to take a …
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On this episode, Irina and Michelle interview marketing consultant Serise Lange, who moderates the popular Facebook group Women's Personal Finance. How do finances impact dating, and how do we figure out who should pay for what? What does Serise think about folks who send out a Venmo request after a date did not go as desired? And what exactly are …
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Why is being single so frustrating sometimes? Irina and Michelle explore both the emotional and practical side of single life. In addition to dealing with feelings of loneliness, single people--and frequently especially single women--face tasks that are difficult or even impossible to accomplish on one's own. Michelle talks about the lawn mower she…
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Historically, dating has been deeply entwined with going out for a drink. But what happens if one of the two dating parties has opted for a life of sobriety? And what are the pros and cons of replacing substance use with romance, or what is the effect of infatuation on the brain? Irina and Michelle discuss with California-based social worker and ad…
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While a cute pet picture can attract someone to your dating profile, pets can also be a major hindrance in romance. What happens when a significant other's pet prevents spontaneous travel or acts up jealously when someone comes over? What are reasonable expectations for how pet owners and non-owners should adapt to each other in relationships? Irin…
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Guest Chat: Fighting Image-Based Sexual Abuse and Online Harassment with Prof. Mary Anne Franks
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Irina and Michelle sit down with sexual abuse and online harassment expert Prof. Mary Anne Franks from the George Washington University Law School to take stock of the state of Internet safety (or lack thereof) today. Mary Anne explains why "revenge porn" is generally a misnomer, why women are particularly at risk in a variety of online settings, a…
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Special: Exclusive Interview with Comedian Allison Goldberg
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Comedian Allison (Alli) Goldberg is on a mission to make dating fun again. Once named one of the top 10 funniest women in NYC by Time Out NY, the now-Los Angeles based performer delights her public both on the stage and on the air. A friend of previous SOTI podcast guest Talia Lerner, Alli tells Irina and Michelle why dating provides such fertile m…
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#metoo Coverage: Dilan Esper on Joshua Wright's Defamation Lawsuit
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In the fourth part of this coverage of the sexual misconduct allegations against ex-George Mason University law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright, Irina has a conversation with Dilan Esper, an experienced litigator in areas that include defamation law and the First Amendment. Dilan walks listeners through Josh's highly unusual def…
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In the third part of this coverage of the sexual misconduct allegations against ex-George Mason University law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright, Irina speaks with a victim of judicial harassment and retaliation, attorney and activist Aliza Shatzman who founded the Legal Accountability Project. After graduating from the Washington…
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Breaking News: Exclusive Interview with Prof. Brandy Wagstaff on the Joshua Wright Sexual Misconduct Allegations
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Following up on our last episode in which Prof. Christa Laser discussed her sexual misconduct allegations against ex-George Mason University law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright, a second alleged victim of his speaks out in full for the first time. GMU adjunct professor Brandy Wagstaff opens up in this exclusive interview about h…
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Breaking News: Exclusive Interview with Prof. Christa Laser on Her #metoolaw Sexual Harassment Allegations
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On this Breaking News episode, Irina interviews patent law scholar Prof. Christa Laser about her sexual harassment allegations against just-departed George Mason University antitrust law professor and former FTC Commissioner Joshua Wright. In a tweet (accompanied by a screenshotted email) viewed by hundreds of thousands of people, Christa described…
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Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match! Irina and Michelle delve into whether it's wise to matchmake your friends and how to minimize the risks to your own friendships if you're going to do it. How do you choose whom to match? Should you remain involved after the initial introduction? The Dating Professors dish about how they themselves have been …
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Guest Chat: The Internet Law Scholar Seeking Love Online with Prof. Derek Bambauer
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Irina and Michelle catch up with law professor and Internet law scholar Derek Bambauer as he reviews his dating life in Tucson, Arizona before his big move across the country to Gainesville, Florida. Derek talks about his mostly positive experiences meeting people online, his penchant for women in academia, and the challenges of making schedules wo…
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The Dating Professors: Therapy Speak as Relationship Abuse
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The Internet is abuzz with discussion about allegations by Sarah Brady, a University of Hawai'i law student, that her ex-boyfriend and celebrity Jonah Hill emotionally abused her and dressed up the abuse in therapy language. According to screenshots of text messages she posted publicly, he designated it "boundaries" that she should not post swimsui…
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On this episode, executive and relationship coach Dr. John Schinnerer tells us what we need to know about how men can achieve true emotional growth and meaningful lives. An educational psychologist and expert consultant for the Pixar movie "Inside Out," John first made a name for himself in the area of anger management; he later expanded his work i…
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Special: Exclusive Interview with Jewish Matchmaking Star Stuart Chaseman
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Why do people try to find love on reality TV? Irina and Michelle asked that and many other questions of Stuart Chaseman, the middle-aged Chicagoan musician and entrepreneur who quickly emerged as the fan favorite of the Netflix show "Jewish Matchmaking." While TikToks declared him a male role model to emulate, conservative pundit Ben Shapiro single…
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Guest Chat: Bisexual Erasure and Polyamory Rights with Prof. Nancy Marcus
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On this episode with guest law professor Nancy Marcus from the California Western School of Law, the personal is the political. Nancy tells Irina and Michelle about her own life as an out bisexual and polyamorous person, as well as about about her public writings and advocacy on these topics. While bisexuality has increasingly become more accepted,…
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Special: Exclusive Interview with Ex-Wives Undercover Amber & Athena and Prof. Brenner Fissell
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This episode provides a special interview with the top 1% podcast (over a million downloads!) "Ex-Wives Undercover: Liars, Cheaters & Love Cons" hosts Amber Rasmussen and Athena Klingerman about how their ex-husband Brandon continued freely harming women and children despite seventeen protective orders in three states against him. After law enforce…
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Guest Chat: The Art of Dating and of Survival with Dr. Robin Rogers
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For this episode that will leave you breathless, Irina and Michelle get to speak with NYC-based sociologist Dr. Robin Rogers. She tells the tale of how she escaped her marriage after her then-husband developed severe schizophrenia, became violent, and killed the family pets. Robin not only got through the six-year court fight to maintain sole custo…
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Dating apps are not the only place where strangers meet on the Internet! On this episode, Irina and Michelle have the chance to host couple Jane-Ashe and Damon who met in a Facebook group tied to a nerdy fandom podcast (Binge Mode). Damon hadn't had much luck with dating apps, while Jane-Ashe got tired enough of people wasting her time that she bec…
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Irina and Michelle welcome international sex robots expert Dr. Kate Devlin, who explains the current state of technology and her views on the moral panic surrounding parasocial relationships with robots. Kate believes that most of people's fears about sex robots or AI replacing human relationships are overblown in a world in which even carrying aro…
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Special: Exclusive Interview with VulgaDrawings Cartoonist Lily O'Farrell
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On this special episode, Irina and Michelle sit down with popular feminist cartoonist and writer Lily O'Farrell, who has amassed over 300K followers on her VulgaDrawings Instagram account. We talk about the British artist's earlier days in the comedy world, encounters with the incel community, recent book "Kyle Theory," and love-hate relationship w…
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Guest Chat: "Cripfished" with Anna Pakman, Bree Klauser, and Melissa Jennifer Gonzalez
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This episode features director Anna Pakman and actors Bree Klauser and Melissa Jennifer Gonzalez, who are all part of short film "Cripfished" (an entrant in the 2023 Easterseals Disability Film Challenge). This romantic comedy tells the fictional story of Logan, who fakes being blind on a queer date with visually impaired Amy because the latter onl…
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In this episode, Irina and Michelle have the pleasure of talking to Nick (a pseudonym), a Jeopardy champion in his late 30s whose work has taken him from academia to the policy world. Originally from NYC, he has tried his luck at dating all across the country and abroad. Nick talks about the difficulties with finding a significant other who shares …
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On this special episode, Irina and Michelle talk to writer, director, and performer Aimee Lutkin. Her memoir "The Lonely Hunter: How Our Search for Love Is Broken" has made waves through its poignant account of how society treats the perpetually single. Aimee discusses how the world is structured around couples and how marriage has morphed over tim…
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In this episode, Irina and Michelle explore why dating app providers behave the way they do and why they don't do more to protect their users. Irina talks about her legal research into this area and what has happened when victims have tried to hold providers accountable via the courts (spoiler: not much). The Dating Professors also examine the cult…
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Irina and Michelle sit down with the show's first solo male guest: George Mason University's Prof. Ilya Somin, who decided to put his scholarly chops to use in the romantic arena to increase his odds of success. He turned to both the academic and popular literatures to develop his rationalist approach to dating and shares his wisdom with listeners …
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In this episode, Irina and Michelle discuss how to handle mental health issues in dating and relationships. Given that half of the population will receive a mental health diagnosis at some point in their lives, to what extent does there continue to be meaningful stigma around this issue? How early in dating should you disclose a mental health condi…
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Guest Chat: Second Marriage in the Second City with Prof. Talia Lerner and Phillip Nightingale
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Join Irina and Michelle as they talk to their first guest couple (and first male guest altogether) on the podcast! Northwestern University neuroscientist Prof. Talia Lerner did not think that a heavily tattooed former military sniper would be in her romantic future, and yet that is how the dating app process shook out in the end. Phillip Nightingal…
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